


Early Sunsets

by orphan_account



Series: Speech Impediments [1]
Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Alternate Universe - High School, Depression, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Flashbacks, Fluff, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Jealousy, M/M, Night Terrors, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Speech impediment, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-26
Updated: 2015-07-20
Packaged: 2018-03-19 18:46:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 34
Words: 107,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3620376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>High school/boarding school AU.</p><p>Gerard went to boarding school and was introduced to his new roommate who had an unfortunate, yet weirdly cute, stutter and a dark secret.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Gerard’s alarm went off somewhere loudly in his room. He allowed the loud, incessant beeping sound to continue for a few short moments before he heard a yell from his younger brother, Mikey; from a cross the hallway to move or he'd break his phone. With a slight moan, he rolled out of bed, walking slowly towards the sound to stop it.

Monday mornings- or any mornings- were always the worst in Gerard’s opinion. The weekend was over and you had to suffer through another five days of torture until you got a few blissful days break. It seemed highly illogical to him.

After what seemed like a life time, he found his phone vibrating against a pile of old sketchbooks, dirty clothes and God knows what else, but Gerard wasn’t going to look through it. If whatever was important under there, he would have placed it on one of his unorganised shelves, covered in more art supplies and various comic books, above his bed.

 _Maybe,_ he thought, _I could get a few more minutes-._ However, before he could finish his thought, his mum rushed into the room, hair half in a towel, half not. He didn’t want to argue with his mother when she was this stressed, it wouldn’t help anything.

“Gerard!” she scolded him, “Why the fuck aren’t you changed? You know you have school in,” she checked her watch, “40 minutes and it takes at least 20 minutes to get there. Out of bed this instant!”

With another annoyed groan, Gerard flops out of bed, towards the bathroom. Something told him that today was going to be a long day. Because, of course, it was the first day of term.

 ***

Gerard went to a different school to Mikey. This was partly due to age because Gerard was around three years older than his younger brother, and that he was forced off to a private school. His mother had told him it was ‘for his own good’ and so he could feel ‘more independent.’ But Gerard knew why he was shipped off there for eight months a year. It was because he was seen as the so-called ‘problem child’, though Gerard didn’t mind this label. He knew it was true and fairly given to him. He had always been the more aggressive son, some could say, throughout his early teens. Soon enough, this died down to a more depressive state where he would lock himself away for days- in not weeks- on end, avoiding everything and everyone. This is when his mother decided to send him off.

Gerard wasn’t bothered with being sent off, if not abandoned, by his family for months. He enjoyed the freedom and space away from his cramped house and family’s constant nagging about homework, showering and how loud he played his music.

The school was a large, probably Victorian house, with large rooms and a spacious garden/lawn area, perfect for relaxing and drawing where Gerard would spend hours drawing and sketching mindlessly.

The dorms were a completely different story. They weren’t in the grand house. They were in little outhouses on the opposite side of the property. They weren’t cramped per se, just small. Each dorm was shared by two boys. They provided bunk beds, a small work/desk area and book shelves for their school work. The rest had to be bought from home or from the local shops situated around the small town.

Gerard heaved a heavy sigh as he saw his old bunk in room 5. He shuffled in and placed his suitcase on the top bunk. The room had no indication that it was his. The nuns disproved greatly on adding posters or any other form of identity to the room. To him it was just a simple room, four walls, a small window on the back wall facing out to the courtyard, and a door. It greatly lacked character and made Gerard feel homesick.

He ended up climbing up the metal ladder and perching on the edge of his bunk, slowly swinging his legs to a beat he had stuck in his head.

 ***

Gerard was suddenly brought to his sense when he heard the door creek open. He looked up and saw one of the head nuns, Sister Mary, walked into the room. Gerard quickly jumped off his bed and tried to appear that he was cleaning his room. He knew how much the nuns hated mess and clutter, especially Sister Mary.  


“Mr. Way,” she addressed him. “As you know, your previous roommate, Mr. Joseph, had to leave the school due to family problems.”

“Yes, Sister,” Gerard said, nodding politely.

“Well, we have found you another roommate because this school is high in demand. I’d like you to make him feel welcome as he has only just arrived. If you do not make he feel welcomed, you will be put into detention.” As she spoke, her voice increased making Gerard get a cold shiver down his spine. “Yes, of course. I will try my very hardest.” He replied sweetly. Trying to stay on the nuns’ ‘good side’ was almost impossible. However, if he remembered to _always_ be polite, he could make it through the next term alive. “This is Mr. Iero,” the nun said as a shy boy stepped into the room, gazing around wearily. “Mr. Iero, this is Mr. Way and this is the young man you will be spending the next year with. If you have any issues, come and find either me or another one of the nuns who are patrolling the dorms.” She instructed him as she closed the door behind her. The boy was still stood near the door, still looking around and clutching his bag. Maybe Gerard had to be the one who started the conversation this time?

“Um, hi. I’m Gerard – uh, Gerard Way. What’s your name? I can’t call you Mr. Iero if we’re going to be stuck together for a year.” His words had come out far too harsh than he intended and regretted them almost instantly. The boy still didn’t reply. Maybe he hadn’t heard Gerard’s question? Gerard ran his fingers through his black, scratching the back of his neck nervously. “I-I’, uh, fu-fuck. I’m F-frank,” the boy-Frank- finally spat out. As soon as he spoke, a blushed bright red, probably embarrassed by his slight stutter.

Gerard laughed, trying to hide the uncomfortable air surrounding them.

“So, do you want to,” Gerard motioned towards the bunk beds opposite them, “put your stuff away or whatever? I wasn’t expecting people since Tyler left last term, so I’ll have to make some room for you, right?”

“Um, y-yeah. If i-it’s not a p-problem. I don’t have a-a lot of stuff, s-so you won’t have to make t-to much space.” Frank said shyly as he started to unpack.

Gerard watched him from the bathroom as he moved his toiletries along the shelf a little to make room for Frank’s. Frank wasn’t joking when he said that he didn’t have a lot of things with him. His bag was small considering it was meant to be clothes and other essentials to last him at least a few months. Frank was probably someone who didn’t like owning a lot. A minimalist perhaps? Gerard hadn’t really had time to see what Frank looked like. Now he was away from the door we could clearly see that Frank wasn’t very tall at all for someone his age - Gerard guessed he was about five foot six inches at least. The boy’s hair was similar to his; black, quite long and slightly greasy. It made Gerard smile knowing his new roommate had equally has bad personal hygiene has him. Frank had to go on his tiptoes to reach the top shelf in their shared room. When he reached up, his sleeve rolled down exposing a small splash of colour and something which Gerard thought was bruising, all though it may have been the lighting. Gerard guessed he’d been pretty much staring at Frank for slightly too long to be normal. He averted his gaze and started to make a bigger effort in making space for two in the bathroom.

Eventually, Frank and Gerard had all their clothes, books and other necessities unpacked and neatly stacked in the correct places. Since it was the first day of term and everyone was settling in, they didn’t have any lessons. This was a perfect time for Gerard to get to know Frank slightly better.

“I like The Misfits,” Gerard stated out of thin air in an attempt to make a conversation about anything as well as gauging what music Frank was into. Gerard quietly prayed that they had a similar taste, knowing it would help greatly.

“S-same. They-they’re good. U-uh, do y-you have a favourite s-song?” he asked, looking up from the book he was flicking through quietly.

“Oh God, I really can’t pick, man. It’s…it’s like picking your favourite child – not like I have a child, but you get the saying, hopefully?” Gerard said quickly before Frank thought he was a teen father.

“Y-yeah, same!” He grinned. Gerard copied the expression. Maybe they would get along.

 ***

It was getting late and they had already missed dinner because Gerard was trying to convince Frank to watch a horror film with him. Every time Gerard mention any horror film Frank it was either too scary or he didn’t like the sound of it. Gerard threw in some cheesy Disney films to make sure Frank was actually listening to him. Whenever he did this, Frank playfully hit Gerard’s arm and told him to stop messing around. Gerard hadn’t paid that much attention to Frank’s smile before. Whenever he smiled, his hazel eyes seemed to almost glow and radiate genuine happiness. Gerard also noticed small, pinprick scars on his lip and nose which he presumed were from several piercings. Gerard tried to keep his ‘observing’ as discreet as possible, but this time he obviously failed as Frank start to squirm under his gaze.

“Uh,” Gerard stammered, trying to think of a reasonable expiation about why he was looking to intently at Frank’s facial features. “I see you have little scars around your lip, eyebrow and nose. Did or do you have piercings there or are they just…random?” Gerard said, trying to cover his tracks but not fully lying.

“Oh, um, y-yeah. I, um, used t-to…” Frank replied, suddenly losing the happy expression he had on his face only moments before. “My mother, s-she didn’t like the-them that much. I had to t-take them out.” He said with a sad smile, trying to hide how sad he really was about losing his piercings. Things like this annoyed Gerard. His parents had never been too strict about piercings, tattoos and so on. Even though Gerard would never dream of getting any form of tattoo or piercing due to his phobia of needles, they did allow him to dye his hair quite a bit over the summer months as long as he paid for it and his hair was a natural colour before school because of the rules that were put in place there. Gerard didn’t like how some parents tried to stop their child being an individual to fit in with the norms of society. “What did your parents say when you came back with them? I guess you didn’t take them with you to get them done.” Gerard questioned.

“T-they weren’t too pleased. N-no, not a-at all.” He sighed. “I-I, Gerard. Can w-we talk about s-something else? I-I don’t want to r-remember it. S-sorry.” Frank said in an almost whisper, looking up at Gerard with big eyes, looking close to tears. Instantly, Gerard realised how forward his questions had been since they had only met hours beforehand.

“Oh God!” he exclaimed, “I’m so sorry. All the questions. We’ve just met. I’m so _sorry_. I’ll shut up now. Sorry.” He quickly apologised, trying to show Frank how sincerely sorry he was.

“It’s fine,” Frank smiled again, but Gerard could tell it wasn’t a real smile. However, he smiled back regardless, not wanting to question him anymore considering they hardly knew each other. Questions about family life could wait for another night.

“We should sleep. We’ve been talking for a while,” Gerard whispered as he leaned over, looking at the clock on his phone. “It’s almost midnight and we need to get up early tomorrow to let lesson plans and all that shit.” He said, trying to keep the conversation lighter than before.

“Y-yeah. Um, g-goodnight, Gerard.” Frank murmured as he went into the bunk below. Gerard listened to Frank getting under his duvets and waited for his gentle snores to come from the lower bunk before drifting off into a dreamless sleep once again.


	2. Chapter 2

Gerard’s alarm went off at exactly 5:30 in the morning, gaining an annoyed groan from both boys in the room.

“You know what, Frank?” Gerard said with a sleepy voice.

“Hmm?”

“What if we just didn’t turn up to school? Would anyone notice? Would anyone care?” Gerard queried as he moved slightly to look down onto Frank’s bunk.

Frank’s face went very pale and he looked up at Gerard, fear shinning in his eyes. “N-no, Gerard. We-we have to go! We h-have to!” He yelled at the other boy who was taken aback by the sheer volume of his reply.

Gerard was still looking at him with a perplex expression when Frank rushed to the bathroom, locking the door quickly behind him. Gerard slipped off his duvet cover and slid down the ladder to sit crossed legged in front of the small en suite door. Gerard clearly heard small sobs and the sounds of dry retching. Was Frank having a panic attack over this small comment?

After he heard the third dry heave, Gerard timidly knocked on the door, calling Frank’s name quietly. Evidently, Frank didn’t hear his attempts to call him.

“Frank?” Gerard asked, “Frank, you okay in there? You don’t sound so good. Um, can…can I come in or?” He requested, praying that this didn’t overstep some unsaid boundaries.

“Uh, u-uh, o-one s-second. I’ll be o-out soon. St-stay there. P-please?” Even though Gerard knew about Frank’s stutter, it seemed to be worse. Gerard guessed it was from the crying and vomiting.

Gerard thought back to the time where either he or Mikey were sick and what his mother used to do. He also remembered that he once learned in Biology that someone loses a lot of liquid while vomiting.

“Uh, Frank? Do you want a glass of water or something? Maybe it would make you feel better. You don’t have to go to school-“Gerard was cut off again with Frank’s shouts through the door.

“No! N-no, Gerard. You-you don’t g-get it. We _h-have_ to go t-to school. Bad, b-bad things will h-happen if w-we don’t!” Gerard distinctly heard the sound of some body part hitting a surface and a small moan of pain.

“Frank, open the fucking door or I’m breaking it down. And you know I’m not joking. Frank, Jesus Christ!” Gerard said as he hammered his fists against the bathroom door.

“O-okay. I’m c-coming. Don’t b-break the door, G-Gerard,” he tried to say in a jokey voice, but it just came out in a defeated tone.

Once the door opened, Gerard hurried into the room, making Frank sit on the toilet seat as he grabbed a glass from the side, filling it with tap water.

“Here,” he said as he handed the boy the water. “Drink this. It’ll make you feel better, alright?”

“Hmm,” Frank replied as he sipped the water slowly.

A few minutes past in silence as Frank drank the water. They occasionally looked at each other, simultaneously checking on each other. Gerard gave him a small smile and Frank returned the gesture with a weaker smile.

In the time they were silent, Gerard had some time to wonder what caused Frank to have a major panic attack. Gerard was 99 percent sure that it was him jokingly mentioning him that they should miss school on that day, but he wasn’t certain.

“T-thanks, Gerard. Um, I-I’m sorry. I d-don’t know what, uh, came o-over me then,” Frank blushed as he set the glass down on the shelf over the sink.

“It’s nothing, really. Do…do you want to talk about it? Now, later? Not at all? Whatever.”

“L-later? Is-is that o-okay?” he asked.

“Totally! We need to get ready for school anyway. Are you sure you want to go? You can stay off if you want. Y’know, to recover? I’d stay with you, if you wanted?” Gerard wondered out loud. In all honesty, he didn’t want to go to school and looking after Frank was a priority for Gerard at that very moment.

However, Frank just shook his head, stood up and exited the bathroom in silence.

***

Their uniform wasn’t awful, but it wasn’t nice or appealing for teenage boys between 13 and 18 years old.

Their uniform consisted of a dark navy blue blazer with the school’s logo on the left side, a plain white undershirt with a collar, dark red tie and grey trousers. Gerard may not have minded it as much if they allowed him to wear jeans. Firstly, they were a lot more comfortable and he felt a lot more confident in them. However, he had to conform to the school’s rules and policies otherwise he would get a week’s worth of detentions, which did not entice him at all.

For the first time in a while the uncomfortable uniform was not at the forefront of his mind. All he could think about was Frank and how he had reacted when Gerard mentioned skipping one day of school, and not an important day at that. The first day was just getting their class schedules and getting the new students to become familiar of the old building so they wouldn’t get lost when lessons were planned.

Gerard was finally brought out of his thoughts when he heard an irritated tone coming from one of the many nuns standing around him.

“Mr. Way? Do I have to ask you again?”

“I’m sorry, Sister. I was just lost in thought. May you please repeat your question?” Gerard asked, trying to keep a polite, calm voice.

The nun sighed and said, “May you please help your friend, Mr. Iero, around school for the next week or so. He came from a very small school and we do not want him getting lost, being late for class and thus interrupting them. Do you understand me?”

“Of course, Sister. I believe we are in quite a few lessons together. I’d love to help him,” he replied with a big, fake smile, hoping she wouldn’t pick it up. Luckily, she didn’t and carried on, walking towards the first years who had formed a tight crowd.

“Frank,” Gerard called after him. Frank span around with panicked eyes. “Frank – chill. It’s only me. Are you alright? You seem really… jumpy?” he said, concern pouring from his voice. Thought they had only known each other for less than 24 hours, Gerard had an overwhelming urge to protect him. Part of it was due to his height and the other was his childlike features, like his round cheeks or large, orb-like, hazel eyes.

“Oh, y-yeah. I’m okay. S-sorry. I a-always feel kind of… o-off after…. _that_.” he muttered, hoping no one but Gerard could hear his confession.

“We’ll definitely talk about it afterwards? If you’re comfortable with it, of course. I don’t want to pressure you. But, as cliché as it is, talking about it does help. Have you been to the doctors about-? Okay, yes, we’ll talk about it later.” Gerard stammered, also in a low voice, praying none of the other students or nuns overheard them.

“F-fine. Yeah, that-that would be nice. Thanks.” He smiled.

“Well, today I’ve been told to give you a tour of the school so you won’t go wondering off into a basement or whatever. Today, I will be your tour guide!” Gerard said, while opening his arms widely and gesturing to the school doors. “After you, _sir_!” Gerard announced with mock posh accent causing Frank to giggle and walk through the large, oak double doors.

***

Finally 3:30pm arrived and Frank and Gerard stumbled out of their class. As it was September it was still hot in New Jersey. Far too hot for Gerard’s liking. Frank was walking further in front of Gerard, so he had to jog slightly to catch up with him.

“Hey, Frank? I was wondering if you want to go down to the grounds around the school so sit and relax? It’s super-hot and our room will probably be like an oven. We could grab some sandwiches and drinks and have our dinner as a picnic? If you want, I don’t mind,” as Gerard spoke, he became more and more aware of how much it sounded like he was planning a date with Frank. Frank beamed and nodded silently. They walked faster towards their dorm to collect some blankets, Frank’s book and Gerard’s sketchbook along with some snacks.

***

The walk to the dorms took longer than expected due to the heat, so they couldn’t keep up their relatively quick pace.

Panting together, they pushed open their door and collapsed onto the bottom bed.

“Jersey in summer sucks. Especially if you’re like me and prefer zero sunlight,” Gerard laughed while trying to catch his breath.

“N-not everyone is a v-vampire like you, Gerard!” Frank laughed but quickly covered his mouth, horrified at what he had just said. However, Gerard burst out laughing even harder.

“True,” he wheezed. “But, if we’re going to have this picnic, we better get moving or it’ll be dark. Plus, I want to see the sunset because they make everything look _pretty_!” he said and stood up, holding a hand out for Frank to grab. Frank held Gerard’s hand and lifted himself up.

“Right, you get the blankets, your book and my sketchbook. It’s on the shelf… somewhere. It’s black and a mess. It’s pretty easy to recognise. And while you’re doing that, I’ll get us some food. You like sandwiches, right?” he questioned. “Y-yeah. No meat t-though. I’m vegetarian.” Frank replied, busy finding the list of things Gerard had said, and placing the found objects into his school bag.

“Okay, cool. I’ll be back in five minutes.” Gerard said as he turned towards the door, heading out to get their food.

Once Frank was sure Gerard had gone and shut the door behind him, Frank set about finding his friend’s sketchbook. As Gerard had said, it was easy to find, almost hidden under a mound of papers. Once he had it in his hands, he opened the famous sketchbook Gerard was always talking about. Guessing from the vast amount of art supplies dotted around Gerard’s side of the room, as well as paint stains under his nails, Frank had presumed he was a fan of drawing and other forms of art, but had never tried to guess how good he was at art.

Turning the book over in his hands a few times, curiosity overcame him and he opened the cover, looking at the first page. _What_ Gerard didn’t know, wouldn’t hurt him _,_ Frank thought to himself. As long as everything was back to normal and nothing was broken he would be fine.

The first page was mainly lines of different colours, thickness and style. Frank predicted that this page was predominantly for testing what would be right for the sketch. Frank wasn’t artistic in this field, however, before things went downhill at his home, he used to spend hours upon hours in his bedroom playing the guitar, jumping around, playing various Green Day riffs while pretending he was in a world famous co-headlining for them. He smiled at the thought and gently turned over the page, reviling Gerard’s art.

He looked at it. The drawing was of a monkey in some kind of white coat, a red beret. The monkey was brown with a lighter brown middle. The drawing had an almost cheeky smile on its face as it looked towards what seemed like a waffle. Frank couldn’t help but quietly giggle at it. It was strangely endearing. In the far right corner, ‘Breakfast Monkey’ was messily scribbled in Gerard’s handwriting. Frank grinned down at it. He _knew_ he had to stop looking. He hated people looking at his lyrics so why should it be okay for him to look at Gerard’s art? It probably wasn’t fine at all, but Frank was naturally curious and couldn’t help himself.

He turned another page.

This time it was a lot darker. There was a great contrast between the first and second page. Maybe he drew the happy-go-lucky monkey to deter most people from looking further into it. Perhaps if some people say the childish drawing they wouldn’t want to look anymore. But Frank wasn’t ‘most people.’

The drawing was of a woman in a gas mask in a late Victorian dress. The drawing clearly showed death and destruction by the crumbling building around the figure. Flames were drawn to lap around some stone walls. In the background, there were clearly bodies – corpses. Frank didn’t understand how there could be so much difference between two pages.

Frank decided it was time to stop looking through the artwork. It was getting too deep; too personal and it felt like an invasion of privacy looking into it any further. The sketchbook was Gerard’s equivalent to Frank’s lyric book.

This thought had been in the back of Frank’s head the moment he opened the book, but it didn’t stop him. If Gerard found out, he may not want to talk or _see_ Frank ever again. Frank vowed, if he ever felt close enough to Gerard he could look through his precious lyric book.

He placed the book down on his bunk bed and continued to search for some spare blankets.

The moment Frank put the sketchbook down, Gerard kicked the door open with a massive smile on his face.

“You ready?” he grinned, cradling a variety of classic, vegetarian, picnic food as well as a couple of bottles of water.

“Y-yup!” Frank timidly smiled back.

“Let’s go. I know where we can go to get a good view of the sunset. The sky goes pink, yellow and orange and it’s like your past if forgotten, you get me?” he asked as he held the door from their room open for him to walk through, completely unaware of his philosophical statement.

Wow _,_ Frank thought. “Yeah, I-I get ya’! W-where to?”

“Follow me. No one ever goes this way. I doubt people know it’s even there. So perfect.” Gerard replied in a dreamlike voice.

With that, Frank exited the room followed closely by Gerard.

***

It wasn’t a long distance to the spot Gerard was talking about – perhaps a ten minute stroll from their dorm room. As expected, it was very pretty. Large trees covered in white flowers were dotted around the green space, with some flowers scattered on the grass carpeting it in pale blossoms. Further back, behind the trees, there was a little stream flowing peacefully down towards the lake at the front of the school’s grounds. Frank tried to take as much in as he could before the older boy appeared behind him.

“See! Didn’t I tell you it was really pretty here? I’m honestly surprised no one else comes here, but I’m not complaining. It’s a nice place to be when you’re stressed or need to think… Anyway, we should get this set up!” Gerard said in a cheery voice. Frank wondered how he was the same person that drew the extremely morbid pictures. However, he nodded and put his bag down, taking out the blankets and placing them neatly on the ground.

 

Setting up their makeshift picnic area didn’t take long considering they had only brought the minimum amount of things for it.

Once the blankets were down, Gerard went off into the small woodland in search of some rocks to weigh down the corners of the fabric to stop the wind blowing them up. While he was gone, Frank got out the sandwiches, drinks and other snacks from Gerard’s bag and arranged them in tidy piles on the back of the blanket. This allowed them enough space to lay out and stretch on the material without having the risk of knocking something over and making a mess.

“Great,” Gerard said as he arrived back at the picnic. “I just need to put these rocks down and we can start to eat.”

“S-sounds good,” Frank replied happily.

***

The picnic didn’t have any major issues, except Frank kicking over Gerard’s drink accidently in which the older boy resorted to throwing the remaining drink at him, leaving both of them gasping for air as they laughed at how stupid they had been.

“Ugh, I’m all sticky now!” Gerard complained as he tried to remove the liquid from his hands. Frank continued to laugh at him hysterically. “Nuh-uh, you can’t laugh at me! You did this, asshole!” Gerard said in between laughs. “We better get a bit cleaner or the nuns will kill us. And besides, I’m not too fond about going to the shared showers now. Not even everyone goes at least.” Frank, who was still wheezing, tried to suggest something but it only came out as another rasp followed by a cough.

“Calm down, Frank. You’re going to give yourself a heart attack. Try and breath.” Gerard commanded and Frank obeyed, as much as he could. “Alright?” Gerard asked, “What were you going to suggest?”

“W-we could-uh, clean in the s-stream over t-there?” Frank recommended and pointed in the vague direction of the small volume of running water in the distance.

“Yes!” Gerard exclaimed. “Good idea. Let’s go. We can get our stuff later; I doubt anyone will take it. And with that, Gerard ran off towards the water, only looking back quickly to check if Frank was following him.

***

The water was cold – very cold. This didn’t stop Gerard stripping down to his boxers and jumping straight in. The second he hit the water he let out a gasp of surprise.

“F-fuck. It’s _freezing_ ,” he said between shivers.

“W-well, yeah. It i-is running w-water, it w-won’t be warm, i-idiot!” Frank answered while untying his shoelaces.

“Yeah, whatever. Not everyone pays attention in Geography like you,” Gerard muttered. “Are you coming in or what? I’d say ‘that water’s getting cold’ but…” he faded out.

Frank wanted to go in with Gerard but he _wouldn’t,_ he _couldn’t_. Not if he wanted to keep his secret a secret. Frank had to think of an acceptable excuse about why he couldn’t take off his shirt.

“I-I don’t feel t-too comfortable w-with… taking o-off my shirt. I-insecurities, sorry.” Frank prayed this would be a viable excuse.

“Hm… we’ll I’m not going to force you, but it is fun. You have to wash some of the stuff off you though. We can’t go back looking like we’ve crawled from under a bush or a tip. C’mon.” Gerard encouraged He thought it was highly unusual for someone to refuse splashing around in the cooling water on a hot day like it was.

With that, Frank edged towards to waterside and quickly rinsed the mess from his hands and clothes.

***

After Gerard had dried himself off in the other blanket and put his uniform on, they walked back to their dorm.

“Ah, shit!” Gerard said in a frustrated tone.

“What?” Frank asked, “What’s u-up? Did you l-leave anything be-behind?”

“No. We missed the fucking sunset when we were at the stream!” Frank hadn’t seen anyone look so disappointed that they had missed a sunset. Frank laughed and threw one arm around the other boy’s shoulder.

“N-next time we’ll see it. D-don’t worry about it, G-Gerard.” He said while concealing a laugh.

***

“Finally,” they said in unison as they fell onto Frank’s bed.

“I’m shattered and it’s,” Gerard leaned over Frank to check his phone, “fuck, it’s nearly one in the morning and we have school. We gotta sleep.”

Frank sighed and unconsciously snuggled into Gerard’s hair lightly. Realising what he had just done, he moved back ever so slightly, hoping that Gerard hadn’t noticed. “Y-yeah, bed. G-get off me. Y-you’re heavy,” Frank whined as Gerard added more weight onto his chest to irritate him even more.

“Ow, that hurt. I can’t believe you said that to me!” Gerard responded in a mock hurt tone as he climbed up the ladder to his bunk.

“What-whatever, Gerard. N-night.”

“Night, Frank.” Gerard said quietly. A few minutes passed before Gerard spoke again. “Frank… we didn’t talk about what happened earlier. We will talk about it, right?”

Frank was silent for a while longer, causing Gerard to believe he had fallen asleep. “Yeah, o-one day, Gerard. W-we will. P-promise. G-goodnight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's also on [Wattpad ](http://www.wattpad.com/story/35371003-early-sunsets-frerard)if it's easier for some people. There could be some tiny, tiny differences between here and there because I add/remove words sometimes. However, the plot will be exactly the same so!   
> As always, feel free to comment because I genuinely want to see what people think of this, and add kudos if you want.  
> Thanks for reading! xo


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Enjoy this filler chapter!

"Gerard!" a scream echoed around their small room.

It was still early, maybe four in the morning, when the cry came from the lower bunk. A confused Gerard propped himself up onto his elbows and mentally prepared himself to look down at Frank, wondering what to expect.

The scream emitted by Frank was one of pure terror and pain, Gerard thought. Around a million thoughts rushed into the older boy's brain. Small flashbacks to Frank's incident earlier came back to him. What if it was another panic attack but something more serious than before? Would he be able to help Frank like he'd managed to help him that morning? Silently praying for the best, he rested his chin on the metal bar and peered down at Frank.

When Gerard's eyes adjusted to the dim light, he clearly saw a pile of blankets bunched up in the far corner which was up against the wall. Gerard squinted his eyes and tried to get more focus on the blankets. When his eyes became accustomed to the light, he saw they we're shaking ever so slightly.

"Uh, shit, Frank?" Gerard whispered in the vague direction of the pile. Gerard waited a few moments before calling again. The second time he received a reply - a small whimper which sounded similar to lost puppy. With that, Gerard swung his legs over the bars and jumped down.

Luckily for Gerard, the fall wasn't too far and he managed to land with minimal sound.

"Frank? Are you okay under there? You, uh, you shouted my name? Did you have a nightmare?" Gerard questioned as he slowly approached the foot of the bed trying his best not to startle the obviously scared boy.

Gerard overheard another small cry which Frank tried to cover with his pillow. After that, Frank was quiet. A few minutes passed and still no other sound. Eventually, Gerard guessed that he had fallen asleep and placed the palms of his hands on the mattress, preparing himself to get up and go back to his own bed and try to sleep again.

"G-Gerard?" Frank whispered into his pillow and weakly reached out to him.

"Hey, Frank. Do you want anything? You seemed kind of... scared half an hour ago." Gerard whispered back as he sat down once again.

Frank let out an airy laugh. "Oh God," he quietly groaned, "t-this sounds s-so weak-"

Before he could finish his sentence, Gerard cut in. "It isn't 'weak', whatever it is Frank. We've only known each other for less than three days but I won't judge you, alright? I didn't judge you for your stutter, did I?"

With a small sigh, Frank responded. "N-no. You're...you're right." He was silent again for a while, thinking about how to word his next few words. "G-Gee? C-can we talk a-about what...what happened b-before? I-I can't k-keep it in a-anymore." Frank spoke up as he uncovered his face from the mass of blankets; looking Gerard dead in the eyes.

Gerard saw how puffy and red they looked. He'd obviously been crying, however, Gerard didn't know for how long and thought now wouldn't be an appropriate time to ask. _Well, not yet_ Gerard said to himself. Gerard nodded silently as Frank shifted slightly, giving him some room to sit.

Once Gerard had crawled to the furthest side of the bed, making sure he didn't hit his head on the bottom of the top bunk, he sat down beside him.

"Hey," Gerard murmured again while he tried to smile at Frank.

"H-hi. Um, I...I don't k-know where to start w-with this," Frank said in a broken voice.

"Start where you want, or not at all. Whatever you want, I won't force you,” Gerard replied in an encouraging voice. "You know I'll be here whenever you want to talk. _Or_ you could write it down. Some people find that easier than speaking because you can rephrase it as many times as you want," he suggested.

"Y-yeah, I'll do t-that. Let me g-get some paper a-and a pen," Frank said as he reached for his school bag in search of the equipment he needed. He tried to be as quiet as he could because the smallest sound may wake the nuns on late night to early morning corridor patrol. He knew if someone walked in and saw Gerard in his bed, who was now happily nestled into his blankets; they would jump to a conclusion that they were sleeping together which not the case was.

Finally, Frank found a pen and some scarp paper and started to write.

Frank wrote for a solid twenty minutes, writing, crossing out and rewriting. At some points he looked between confused and sad, making Gerard's heart ache a little more. Not wanting to rush Frank, Gerard slipped out of his blanket cocoon, walked towards the desk area, picked up his sketchbook and pencil and shuffled back to the bed, resuming his previous position. He looked ahead of him for a bit, gaining ideas and thoughts from the room which surrounded him. Usually, designs and concepts for his art came quickly, allowing him more time to sketch out his numerous comic strips.

The silence was broken with a small, almost _delicate_ cough from Frank. "I-I've written i-it down. Do, uh, do y-you want t-to read it?" he stuttered as he passed the A4 sheet of paper to Gerard.

"Of course I do if you're okay with it," he replied while he grabbed the paper gently.

He instantly recognised Frank's handwriting. It had certain characteristics which you couldn't ignore. It wasn't untidy per se, it had _character_.

Gerard smiled softly and started to read the note.

_'Gerard._ _Firstly, I'm sorry for writing, it's never been the neatest, but hopefully you can read it?_ _I don't know where to start with this, but I guess I'll start from when I started this school (yes, I know it's literally been less than three days but that isn't the point here)._

_The short story is that I got kicked out by my parents. They kicked me out and sent me here to get me away from them. My parents haven't ever been the most accepting type, but I'd never think they'd make their only son leave and live four hours away from them, but here we are._

_When I came home with my first (illegal) tattoo at 16, I tried to hide it from them, always covering my arms and wrist area. This made them both believe I had started to harm myself and they told me if I didn't show them my arms to disprove this, they'd send me off. So, naturally I showed them, not wanting them to think I had started to self-harm. Once I showed them, they sent me to my room and locked me in. I knew fully well that they'd punish me for my tattoo as they are extremely prejudiced towards any form of body modification. They thought that I'd go against society and become a rebel. But anyway, I wasn't too sure how long they'd kept me in isolation. They didn't lock the door during the day, however I knew if I left too many times the punishment would become worse and worse._

_They didn't approve of much, meaning I had to keep myself to myself most of the time. The fact that I didn't have a close friend didn't help matters... This isn't turning into a self-pity rant now. I'll move on._

_I think the thing that made them finally kick me out was when I broke up with my girlfriend. It wasn't that we'd fought or one of us had cheated, it was the fact that I wasn't romantically or sexually attracted to her at all. She was a great friend to me, but nothing more. I explained this to her as best as I could and luckily she understood. She advised me to tell my parents, feeling that they should know. But unlike her, I knew what my parents could be like._ _The day we split was the day she forced me to come out to my parents. I'd always thought my parents were slightly homophobic. They really wanted that perfect, ideal, straight son who would go on to do 'male' jobs, have a wife, a dog and a few children. I didn't fit with their criteria._ _So, I told them. My mother cried and my father yelled at me. I tried to defend myself but whenever I wanted to speak; they told it 'it was a phase' and how I'd soon grow out of this. I denied every one of their claims, causing my dad to become more furious. Eventually, he snapped and punched me right on the nose. Though, my dad didn't stop at that. He kicked and punched pretty much where he could reach, screaming homophobic slurs at me. Fuck, it hurt me so much, Gerard, both mentally and physically. He told me to not say a word about this and if anyone asked about the bruising and cuts I'd have to lie and say I had a nasty trip or something else, otherwise I'd 'get it.'_ _With that, I crawled to my room and cried. I heard my parents make arrangements for me to move to a boarding school, ideally a religious one to 'cure me' - that's how I ended up here._

_Now you know, you can't tell anyone about my parents. I don't want them to get in trouble, even though what they did; especially what my father did was inexcusable. However, I'm sure it's just because they were shocked. This goes with my sexuality as well. I've been called all those slurs before in my previous schools and by my parents and I'm hoping that if no one knows here, school will be better?_

_Can this be our secret, right?_ _xofrnk.'_

Gerard read the letter over and over again, making sure he hadn't misread or misinterpreted any section of it.

"Frank," Gerard whispered with a cracked voice, "oh God. I...I don't know what to _say_ ," he said as he felt tears well up in his eyes.

Frank had curled himself tighter into the blankets whilst Gerard read his message, hoping to avoid all possible eye contact, looked up at the other boy with tear stained eyes. Gerard recognised the look him his eyes: the one of complete hopelessness, fear and panic.

"No. No, Frank," Gerard said, as he tried to calm his friend down, edging towards him a little. "Frank, how can I help?"

"H-honestly, I c-could do with a-a hug or something," Frank managed to splutter out before he started to sob and covered his face with the palms of his hands.

The sound of Frank's desperate cries broke Gerard's heart even more. He couldn't deny someone a simple hug when they were in that much distress and had just admitted something as large as Frank had.

"Sure, yes, of course," Gerard babbled as he scooted closer to his friend. The moment Gerard was close enough; Frank threw his arms around the older boy's neck and held him close, pressing his face into Gerard's shoulder and then the crook of his neck, letting out a shaky sigh.

"T-thank you," he mumbled into his neck. "I-I know t-this probably makes y-you feel really un-uncomfortable, but it...it does help." Gerard hummed his reply, trusting that Frank would understand.

Once Frank was quiet for a while, Gerard presumed he had fallen asleep. As Gerard rested his chin on the top of his head, burying his nose slighting into his hair which smelled faintly like apples, he gently kissed the top of his head while humming a soft tune in an attempt to help Frank forget all the bad memories from his past and focus on the future.

From the moment Gerard set eyes on the small, stuttering boy, he had an overwhelming urge to protect him but Frank's recent confession added to his protective instinct. He knew he _had_ to protect him and if this meant almost adopting him into his family when the term was over, he would, as Gerard was almost certain that Frank stepping foot into his family home would not end well.

With this plan in mind and a slight smile of his face, he shifted down onto the bed to a lying position and allowed Frank's head to fall softly onto his chest. He held Frank tightly in a way to try and save him from his thoughts and other troubles.

Gerard kissed his cheek softly and lost consciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's also on [Wattpad ](http://www.wattpad.com/story/35371003-early-sunsets-frerard)if it's easier for some people. There could be some tiny, tiny differences between here and there because I add/remove words sometimes. However, the plot will be exactly the same so!   
> As always, feel free to comment because I genuinely want to see what people think of this, and add kudos if you want.  
> Thanks for reading! xo


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's the use of homophobic terms and homophobia in this chapter and I'm so, so sorry. I really hate the slurs and what happens and even typing them out made me feel horrible.
> 
> This is just a warning (and an apology) about them.
> 
> Also, there's a somewhat detailed description of abuse right at the start.

“No!” Frank screamed as he felt rough hands grab his shoulders, dragging him towards an unopened door. The mysteryperson wordlessly opened the door and shoved Frank in, before turning to face the boy.

The person glared down at Frank with pure hate flickering in his eyes. “You know why you’re in here, boy?” the man asked in a harsh voice.

“N-no,” Frank whimpered; avoiding eye contact with the man standing above him.

“Well, you know what fags like you are?” he shouted, not allowing Frank to respond to his question.

“They’re _unnatural_. We were put on this Earth to _procreate_ , to _populate._ People like you can’t do that. Two guys can’t have children. It sickens me! It’s fucking abnormal!” he spat out.

Before Frank could process the cruelty that had just been screamed at him, he was yanked up from the hard ground by his left arm and pushed into the back wall. The collision with the solid, stone wall caused Frank to sink to his knees against it.

The man walked closer to Frank until he was stood directly in front of him. The guy knelt down so he was face-to-face with Frank. His nose was almost touching the young boy’s nose. Frank could smell the alcohol on his breath which indicated that he was very intoxicated; however, this didn’t make his verbal and physical abuse hurt any less.

“I hope you understand now, boy. Perhaps this… lesson will teach you a thing or two. Being a faggot isn’t a nice life alright, Frankie? Maybe you should go and apologise to your girlfriend; say it was all a mistake. She’ll understand. You’re probably confused anyway.” The man said in a hushed tone.

“Now, you cannot tell anyone- and I mean _anyone_ about this. You wouldn’t want people to know about apparently being a fag, do ya’? Especially in school. I won’t tell them that you’re gay if you don’t tell them about our…incident. ” He threatened.

“No,” Frank sobbed. “I-I won’t t-tell anyone. ‘S-swear.”

“That’s a good boy. Tell them you fell, got beat up, anything believable. Got it?” murmured the man as he got up to leave. “Now, clean yourself up and stop fuckin’ crying like a baby.” He said in half whispered, half shouted before he exited the dark room.

Frank was left on the floor, huddled up to the wall while violently shaking; trying not to make a sound. While he sat alone, he processed what had just happened to him. The insults, threats, beatings, they were all real, every single one.

With a shaky sigh, he tried to stand up to check for cuts and any other injuries but when he tried to lift himself off the floor; he just stumbled backwards with a heavy thud on the wall, causing a single sob to escape him. Rubbing the areas that impacted with the wall gently, he started taking off his shoes, then socks and finally jeans. He wanted to make sure that if he had obtained any form wounds that they were clean and covered, hiding the evidence from the world.

Luckily he’d only received small cuts and bruising to his back. His shoulders still ached after being dragged into another room and he was sure he was going to develop a nasty bump on his head, but he reinsured himself that it would only be minor damage and nothing permanent.

“Toughen the fuck up, Frank,” he said to himself and he tried to get up for the second time. He knew he had to get out of that room before his mother came home.

He counted to three and slowly got up, trying to compress the small cries of pain as he put more pressure on his left foot.

Frank heaved himself up, biting his arm to stop himself from crying out in pain, and slowly limped towards his room, making sure there wasn’t anyone about to question the yellowing bruise forming on his cheek.

What seemed like a lifetime later, Frank managed to stumble into his room, luckily avoiding the desk chair in the middle of the room narrowly. He collapsed and held is pillow tightly, trying to find some comfort in the inanimate object. Within seconds he was crying again. Questions quickly popped into his head. Why did he deserve this? Was it his fault? Was it really that ‘wrong’ to be gay in the twenty first century? All of these questioned seemed insignificant compared to the one which would haunt him for the rest of his life.

Was it really him coming out that made his own father abuse him like he just did?

***

Gerard watched Frank roll around violently, punch the pillow and cry desperately for over ten minutes while working out what to do and if he should wake him up or not.

He had been woken up by a small wet patch on his shirt which had formed on his shirt. At first, he thought it was Frank dribbling on him, which wasn’t the nicest thought, but as Gerard looked closer, he saw they were silent tears. He carefully moved Frank’s head from his chest to a pillow opposite them and neatly tucked the covers around the younger boy.

The silent tears had progressed to small sobs and scream in a few moments of Gerard moving him. Gerard was pretty certain Frank was experiencing a nightmare of flashback as he caught small segments of the conversation Frank was having with the people or person in his dream. He distinctly heard a faint ‘no’ which turned into more silent tears running down his pale face. Gerard knew it wasn’t fair to allow Frank to keep with his bad dream and started to plan on how to wake him up without startling him.

“Frank, it’s okay. It’s only a dream. You can wake up,” Gerard quietly whispered in his ear while softly rocking him in his arms. Gerard wanted to think that if Frank woke up in someone’s arms it would be less frightening for him.

“Frank, c’mon. Wake up,” he said to himself more than anyone. Frank’s audible crying had stopped and the shaking had lessened, but tears still ran down his face, leaving little wet trails. Gerard carefully wiped his thumb over his friend’s cheeks, removing the tears and kissing where the salty water had previously been. “ _Please_ ,” Gerard begged while cradling Frank, “Wake up.”

With a short gasp, Frank’s eyes shot open. He quickly started to scan the room, making sure that this was his dorm room and not the room where his father had left him.

Gerard saw the panic and terror in Frank’s eyes and held him closer, whispering comforting words into his ear as an attempt to calm him down.

“Shhh,” Gerard hushed him. “Hey, it’s fine. You aren’t there. You’re here with me in school.” He quickly tried to think of more comforting things to say while he kept Frank close to him. “It’s okay; you’re far, far away from whoever hurt you. I’ll keep you safe from them. If they come here, I’ll beat them up.” Gerard’s final statement earned him an airy laugh from Frank.

“Y-you wouldn’t. Y-you would-wouldn’t hurt a fly,” he said quietly, trying to keep his voice steady. “I know, but if they were going to hurt you, I’d change that,” Gerard replied earnestly with a weak smile.

“I c-can’t say h-how much that me-means to me, G-Gerard. I r-really can’t,” Frank said into Gerard’s shirt.

“No, Frank. It’s whatever. Don’t mention it…Do you think you could sleep again? I could stay here if-“ Gerard started.

“Yes. Uh, p-please? If y-you don’t m-mind,” he said timidly.

“It’s not a problem, don’t worry. If you have another nightmare, do you want me to wake you up? I wasn’t sure if I should have before. I wasn’t certain how you’d react to it.” Gerard asked.

“U-uh, yeah. I-if you c-could?” Frank said as he and Gerard settled down into the single bunk bed.

“Okay, I will. Goodnight, Frank.” Gerard said as he pulled the blankets over themselves once again.

“’N-night,” Frank said as he leaned over and kissed Gerard on the forehead lightly. “T-thank you, y’know, f-for everything.”

“You’re welcome," Gerard answered mid-yawn. "But seriously, it’s nothing. Don’t, uh, worry about it,” he said as he hugged Frank tightly, trying to demonstrate his support.

Frank nodded as he scooted down the bed slightly, resting his face against Gerard’s shoulder and fell asleep, finally feeling a sense of safety which he had longed-for for so long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's also on [Wattpad ](http://www.wattpad.com/story/35371003-early-sunsets-frerard)if it's easier for some people. There could be some tiny, tiny differences between here and there because I add/remove words sometimes. However, the plot will be exactly the same so!   
> As always, feel free to comment because I genuinely want to see what people think of this, and add kudos if you want.  
> Thanks for reading! xo


	5. Chapter 5

Frank was woken up by Gerard throwing the covers off him.

He groaned as the cold air hit his previously warm skin. “I’m c-cold. Why d’you d-do that?” he whined while he searched for the blankets.

“We’re late. I must’ve fallen asleep before-“Gerard was cut off as a harsh knock came from the door and a shout from a nun.

“O-oh,” Frank whispered, instantly becoming paler.

“Oh no, don’t you panic on me now, Frank. Not now. Just breathe – in through your nose, out through your mouth. We really need to get you checked out, y’know? But not now. Go and sit on the bed and I’ll get you some water. Remember: breathe slowly like I told you.” Gerard commanded. Gerard quickly scanned the room looking for a clean glass when he saw his iPod on charge. “Here,” he said while he walked towards the device. “Listen to some music. It should help you calm down a bit. You said you liked The Misfits, right?”

Frank nodded as Gerard passed him the iPod.

“I have a few of their albums on there. Find something you like. Stay sitting down, I don’t want you fainting on me or something.”

He grabbed a clean glass from the bedside tables and walked to their small bathroom.

Once the glass was half full he made his way into the bedroom, handed it to Frank and encouraged him to drink it.

They sat in borderline awkward silence for a couple of minutes before Frank reached over and put the now empty glass down.

“What are you listening to?” Gerard asked as he looked down at his iPod in Frank’s lap.

“Scattered by G-Green Day. I-it’s one of m-my favourites,” Frank said as he looked at Gerard with a smile.

Gerard hummed in agreement. “I’d love to sit around and debate which is the best Green Day song and/or album, but we _really_ need to get ready for school. I’d ask you if you want to go, but I’ve learnt that it would be a pointless question from last time… you sure you’re okay with this? I know it’s cliché with me asking how you are, but I do worry about you even though we’ve known each other for less than a week.” He said, offering a hand to Frank.

“I’m f-fine, honestly Gerard. D-don’t worry,” Frank answered while he accepted Gerard’s hand and stood up. “W-we better get r-ready then.” He said before grabbing his school uniform and stumbling towards to bathroom.

***

Once they were both dressed; hair half brushed, they ran to school. Gerard knew that the nuns hated them being late. It didn’t matter if it was one minute or one hour, being late was being late and the nuns – especially the Head Nuns – loved giving the students detentions for the smallest things.

Frank and Gerard simultaneously burst through the large oak door, slightly out of breath but on time, nonetheless.

“Thank God,” Gerard huffed as he realised there were still pupils walking around the halls, heading towards their first lesson. “’Least we weren’t late!” He exclaimed looking at Frank who had turned a bright red after the short sprint.

“Y-yeah,” Frank stuttered. Gerard was sure it was mainly due to how out of breath he was.

“Right, we have different lessons today, but meet me outside near the steps. You know where I’m talking about?” he checked before walking to his first class.

“Uh, yeah, I d-do. See y-you then!” Frank waved goodbye as they parted ways.

***

It was Frank’s first lessons without Gerard and he couldn’t stop the fear rising through his body. He knew he didn’t have a reason to be scared or nervous; however this didn’t stop the feeling of absolute dread.

Taking a deep breath, he pushed open the door to his first class and stepped into the overly warm room.

“You must be Frank,” his teacher said from her desk as he stood at the door.

Frank nodded wordlessly and slowly entered the room.

“As it’s the first lesson, you can sit wherever you want, but I’d recommend you sitting next to someone to start the year off. You may be more comfortable and get to know people in the class. Not many people have taken History this year, so I’m almost certain you’ll fit in,” she smiled.

His teacher was probably no older than 30 years old. She had a round shaped face – not fat but… friendly. Her eyes were the feature that caught Frank’s attention first; they were green and had a distinct warm and welcoming glow to them, which reminded Frank of Gerard’s.

Smiling to himself Frank chose the seat in the far left corner, closest to the window. He liked being able to look out over the ground and beyond. It kept him calm knowing he could look out of the window every once in a while and take a deep breath.

The weather that day wasn’t the best. It was overcast, dull and kind of humid since it had barely turned half 8 in the morning.

Frank started to daydream but was brought back to reality when he saw a shadow over him. He tried to stifle a small shocked gasp. He remembered the last time someone’s shadow was over him. The last time he was in this position he was lucky to get out of it without any broken bones or internal bleeding. The thoughts flooded into his brain, making him to start to shake. He quickly remembered what Gerard had told him only an hour before. _Just breathe – in through your nose, out through your mouth._

“In through your nose, out through your mouth,” Frank chanted under his breath as he carried out the task.

“Frank?” his teacher asked, concern pouring from her voice. “Are you alright? I was just here to hand you your textbook and paper and I must have given you quite a shock because you started to shake.”

“I’m g-good, thank y-you. I was j-just… yeah,” he said, in a shy voice.

“If you’re sure. If you need to talk, come to me after school. I’m here every Monday to Friday until 5PM.” She said as she put his equipment down and went back to the desk at the front of the classroom moments before the bell went, signalling the lesson was about to begin.

The class quickly filled. As the teacher said, the class wasn’t as popular as others. There were approximately 15 people, including Frank, in the class. They all had their groups and sat down with them, discussing some homework some of them had forgotten to do.

Still concentrating on the group of people sat in front of him, Frank didn’t notice someone else approaching the desk.

“Hey. You must be Frank?” He asked in a nasally yet friendly voice.

“That’s m-me,” Frank replied, cursing under his breath as his stutter still came through no matter how hard he tried to hide it.

“I’m Ray,” Ray introduced himself. “Can I sit with you? If you don’t mind, of course.”

“S-sure. Y-yeah…” Frank said, successfully stumbling over every word as he pushed the chair next to him out a little with his foot allowing Ray to sit down.

“Thanks,” Ray whispered, flashing a small smile at Frank.

For the first time Frank got to see what Ray looked like. The best way Frank could describe Ray’s hair would be as an afro. The mass of thick, brown hair fell down around his forehead, slightly covering his eyes. The rest of his facial features didn’t feel threatening to Frank. Ray seemed like a genuinely nice person and Frank was glad that he didn’t make fun or mock his speech impediment like so many other people had before.

“Today class, we’re going to learn about Foreign Polices,” the teacher said as she got up from her seat and walked to the board. The class, including Frank, expressed their disproval in a variety of sighs and huffs as they got their pens out and started to copy down what the teacher had started to write on the board.

***

Three hours later and the lesson was finally over. Frank’s hands ached after the amount of writing he had to do. He seriously underestimated the amount of work needed in some lessons. Despite the pain in his hand, he knew he had one thing to look forward to – spending time with Gerard.

It hit him how dependent he had become on the other boy. To Frank it didn’t matter to him that they had only known each other for a week. He felt safe with Gerard, knowing that he’d never hurt him physically or emotionally like so many people had done beforehand.

Frank quickly packed his bag and headed towards the door before he heard someone call him name. It was Ray.

“Hey, hi, Frank. I was wondering where your dorm was. You seem really cool and I want to maybe get to know you more. It’s nice to meet people here who aren’t complete assholes.” Ray said with a grin spreading across his face.

“I’m in d-dorm 5. Y-you know w-where that is?” he responded while slowly putting his pens in his bag.

Ray’s eyes widened as he heard what dorm Frank was in. “You’re in dorm 5? With Gerard Way?”

“Yes, i-is that a…p-problem?” Frank asked, looking Ray in the eyes.

“No, just, hm, odd? Gerard’s never been great with company. I’ll see you later then?” Ray said as he walked out of the class, offering a small wave in Frank’s general direction.

Ray’s reaction had seemed really strange to Frank. Why did he seem so shocked that he was sharing a room with Gerard? Gerard was one of the nicest and most caring people he’d ever met. Frank didn’t see a problem or reason to be as surprised as his new acquaintance had been.

He shrugged it off and went on his way to meet Gerard for lunch.

***

As expected, Gerard was sitting on the steps, sketchbook on his lap has he looked straight in front of his, pondering his next creation. He clearly hadn’t seen Frank near him, so he let out a small cough, hoping it didn’t make Gerard jump.

“What the fu-!” Gerard said, spinning around and glaring up at Frank, instantly making the younger boy feel threatened. “Oh, _oh,_ hi Frank!” he said as his expression softened. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to act like that. I’m sorry. Here, sit.” He patted a place next to him.

Frank complied and sat down quietly next to him, trying to steady his breathing. He didn’t expect Gerard to be so _aggressive_ towards him or anyone. It was like there were two Gerard’s: the one he saw and the one other people saw. Maybe this was why Ray seemed so stunned when he found out that Frank was sharing a room with him.

Gerard gently touched Frank’s arm, rubbing little circles into his. He sensed that Frank was tense and that ended up as him panicking, as history showed. “Calm down. I’m sorry for snapping at you. You _know_ I wouldn’t if I knew it was you. I didn’t look properly before speaking. Please, please, please don’t take it personally, Frank,” he begged.

“S’fine,” Frank mumbled while he focused on his knees.

“ _Frank,_ ” Gerard whined as he edged closer to Frank and put his arm around his shoulder and pulled him closer. “Don’t be like this. I am sorry. Honestly I am,” he whispered into his ear, only allowing Frank to hear.

He exhaled and pushed into Gerard’s side, trying to gain more physical contact to calm his nerves.

“Breathe in; breathe out,” Gerard requested, squeezing Frank tightly.

“O-okay,” he nodded and followed his friend’s instructions.

Frank closed his eyes and focused on his breathing while Gerard waited patiently for him.

“That was your last lesson, yeah? We could head back to our room now. I think you need time to relax,” he said while lifting himself up from the step. “Come on, we should go,” he said in a hushed tone while he gently tapped Frank’s shoulder.

“’R-right,” Frank obeyed, walking towards their dorm room.

***

The walk to their room took longer than usual because they were both still tired from the night before and fatigue had finally caught up with them.

Pushing the door wide open, Gerard and Frank walked in, both sinking onto the bottom bunk.

Frank closed his eyes and curled up onto the bed. Gerard saw how drained Frank was and allowed him to sleep. This was the perfect time to get his plan underway.

Gerard got up from the bed and headed from the drawers opposite him. It didn’t take to find what he was looking for – his phone.

He dialled the number and waited for them to pick up.

After the first two rings, someone picked up.

“Hello?” a voice came from the phone.

“Hi, Mom. It’s Gerard. I have someone to tell you about…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's also on [Wattpad ](http://www.wattpad.com/story/35371003-early-sunsets-frerard)if it's easier for some people. There could be some tiny, tiny differences between here and there because I add/remove words sometimes. However, the plot will be exactly the same so!   
> As always, feel free to comment because I genuinely want to see what people think of this, and add kudos if you want.  
> Thanks for reading! xo


	6. Chapter 6

The September term dragged, as usual. Once they had been given their lesson plans and everyone had settled into their new classes, school was back to normal. There were no new faces to see, no new places to visit. Everything was back to how it had been before.

The days felt endless; the weekends not long enough. Everyone was back to their normal cycle: living for the weekend and school breaks.

Luckily for Frank and Gerard, their school allowed them a long weekend at the end of October, around Halloween. Little to Gerard’s knowledge, Halloween was Frank’s birthday too. Being born on October thirty first came with many pros and cons in Frank’s mind.

Firstly, it was Halloween; you were pretty much guaranteed some kind of treat, whether it was from a friend or family member. If this failed, there was always the option of going out tick-or-treating with a group of friends.

Though Frank’s parents forbid him from going out, and strongly believing that Halloween had links with the devil and Satanism, he sometimes had the chance to convince his mother to let him stay at a friend’s house, telling her that they weren’t going out and just staying in to watch some movies. Frank hated lying to his parents; however this was the only way around it.

Frank loved the whole concept of Halloween. His favourite part was seeing how everyone transformed themselves into a variety of scary monsters, vampires, mummies, and zombies. Basically anything someone could think of. He adored how everyone - young or old - could dress up for one night and walk around the streets and it being totally normal.

On top of that, it was like everyone, unknowingly, was celebrating his birthday. His parents had never really bothered making an occasion of his birth. To them he was just someone they _had_ to look after until he turned 18 and could leave.

He never had that over the top birthday party where his mother would cover his eyes while his father brought out a cake, allowing his to see as his family and friends sang happy birthday in unison and cheering when he opened the gifts from them.

He never had a pre-teen birthday with a bouncy castle, a large frosted cake and a clown that everyone was scared of but was too polite to say so. Allowing a friend to stay the night on this birthday was also a no-go. Frank’s mother didn’t want to look after another child since Frank was already too much for her. It made him feel extremely guilty thinking that his mother struggled to care for him. It wasn’t like they were necessarily poor but they didn’t have a lot of money to spend on the little luxuries. If Frank wanted something, he had to earn it, whether it was by getting a job or by another means – his parents didn’t care as long as he didn’t get caught or it was from their money.

Usually, his birthdays consisted of a card and maybe one present from his mother and father. It was never anything big or exciting or what he actually wanted. He never asked for anything for his birthday knowing that his father would shout at him and remind him of how grateful he should be that he had a roof over his head, a bed to sleep in and a family that apparently loved him. Frank couldn’t help but scoff at that remark. He thought his parents loved him for years as he knew no better, but since meeting Gerard only a month ago, he realised that his parents never loved him as they claimed. Love was being cared for, protected and actually wanted. In the short time he had known Gerard he had felt all of these a million times stronger than he had in 16 years being with his parents. Other than that, his birthday came and went without any major celebration.

Frank continued to stand in his dorm room, looking down at a half packed suitcase and sighed, trying to push out all the thought of how his birthdays could have been if his parents had cared enough.

Gerard noticed that Frank had stopped moving and stuck his head out of their bathroom door to see what had happened. Gerard opened his mouth to speak but closed it quickly, observing Frank from a distance. Gerard knew he was upset, it showed in his posture. He was kind of slumped over, intently looking down, perhaps trying to hide tears or how close he was on the verge of tears. His whole body language screamed how depressed he was, and Gerard wasn’t sure what had caused it.

Moments before they were happily packing up, preparing to go home. Gerard told Frank that he was going to get their things from the bathroom as it was too small for them both to fit in, it would be quicker if just one person did it. Frank agreed with a smile and started to fold his clothes. It all seemed fine to Gerard so his quick turn of mood came as a surprise.

Gerard had finished putting their things into their respected bags and containers and stepped out into the main part of the room. Frank didn’t notice him and carried on looking down.

Maybe he’s just in some deep thought, Gerard thought to himself as he tried to avoid disturbing his friend.

Gerard quietly packed around Frank for a minute or so before he noticed the younger boy starting to shake.

“Frank…?” Gerard spoke in a hesitant voice.

“Y-yeah?” Frank said with a small cough, clearing his throat.

Gerard didn’t know what to say. He didn’t want to say that he had been watching him but he wanted to show that he did care enough to ask.

“I was getting our toothbrushes and things from the bathroom and I didn’t hear you moving for a while so I guessed you’d finished. I looked out and you were just, well… standing there? Almost like you were in a trance. Then you started to shake again. Are you okay? Be honest with me, Frank. It’s getting serious. I know-“

“I’m f-fine. Stop going o-on about it!” Frank snapped, cutting Gerard off and looking him dead in the eye. Gerard expected to see hate, rage, and anger in Frank’s eyes but instead he saw that hopeless look again that he first saw in September. Knowing that he shouldn’t push Frank anymore he nodded and went back to collecting his possessions in awkward silence.

***

Half an hour later and they were both packed and ready to go.

A thought suddenly occurred to Frank that he had no idea where he was about to go. He knew his parents couldn’t come and get him as the only reason why he was here was because they wanted to get rid of him without illegally abandoning him. He guessed he could stay at the boarding school. It was only a long weekend off, he could cope. He knew that the nuns stayed in the school as it was a church as well, so he wouldn’t be alone. However, the thought of being without Gerard on his birthday made his heart sink.

It was still warm outside as the sun shone down on them. They stood together, clutching their bags in painful silence. Neither of them knew what to say to break it. Gerard was still thinking about how Frank had seemed to angry towards him, though deep down Gerard knew he just felt lost. It made his heart ache thinking about what Frank may have endured before meeting him.

With a quiet sigh he unlocked his phone and checked the time. It was 4:38 PM and his mother should be arriving at around twenty to five, if she wasn’t held up in traffic.

The almost unbearable silence continued for a while longer until Gerard turned the music up on his phone. The unmistakable intro to Welcome To Paradise by Green Day played from his speakers, making Frank’s lips turn into the smallest smile. Gerard saw him smile and grinned back, grateful that the tension between them had finally been broken.

Within minutes a black Volvo had pulled up in front of them making Frank jump back a bit.

“Gerard! Turn that music down. I could hear it from across the streets,” a female voice came from the car.

“Sorry, Ma. I’ll turn it down now. But you know certain songs have to be played extremely loudly. Right, Frank?”

Frank nodded in agreement. He was still unsure where he was going next and if Gerard left he would be on his own again.

The woman rolled down the car window, smiling warmly at them both. Her hair was bleached blonde hair which seemed to be either really thick or slightly backcombed, but Frank wasn’t too sure. She wore large, round black sunglasses, covering her eyes giving her a strange look, almost like she was trying to dress younger than she was. Despite this, she seemed friendly and kind; Frank prayed that she was in fact Gerard’s mother.

“Aren’t you going to introduce us, Gee?” the woman asked, leaning slightly out of the open window.

“Uh, yeah. Frank, this is my mom,” he said while he pointed at her, “Mom, this is my friend, Frank.”

“Nice to meet you,” Gerard’s mother said with another warm smile.

“S-same, to y-you, Mrs Way,” Frank replied in his most respectful voice.

“Oh please, don’t call me that. It makes me sound like _my_ mother!” she laughed. “Call me Donna.”

“O-okay,” Frank stuttered and pressed closer to Gerard, looking for some support.

“Mom, stop. You’re making him uncomfortable,” Gerard complained.

“Sorry,” his mother apologised. “Now, are you two just going to stand there or are you getting in the car? We need to get going.”

“Of course. Come on, Frank,” he said, gently pulling his arm.

“What?” Frank squeaked.

“You need to get in the car. It isn’t like I was going to leave you behind, was it?” he said with a slight laugh.

Gerard looked at Frank and saw he had the biggest smile on his face. He took him by the hand and dragged him towards the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's also on [Wattpad ](http://www.wattpad.com/story/35371003-early-sunsets-frerard)if it's easier for some people. There could be some tiny, tiny differences between here and there because I add/remove words sometimes. However, the plot will be exactly the same so!   
> As always, feel free to comment because I genuinely want to see what people think of this, and add kudos if you want.  
> Thanks for reading! xo


	7. Chapter 7

The drive to Gerard’s house too far longer than anyone had expected. According to Donna the journey took an hour on a good day, but the families brining their children home after a month away as well as multiple traffic jams only added to the time they were all cramped up in the car.

In what seemed like the seventh traffic jam, Donna turned around slightly in the driver’s seat to face the two boys in the back. Gerard had his phone out with his headphones attached. Both boys had one in each ear, smiling and giggling innocently at whatever was on the small screen. The sight made Donna smile and her heart swell a little. At times like these she wished she had a way to capture the moment in front of her. Donna was going to ask a few questions to Frank; how he was coping with the new school? If he had any friends besides Gerard, and so on, but she didn’t want to or have the heart to stop them being so happy about what they were watching. And besides, questions could wait since they did have another four days together. She turned back around and began to tap her fingers on the steering wheel along to the beat of a song playing on the radio.

***

Two and a half hours later, Donna drove up the small, pebbled driveway to their house. The house wasn’t anything impressive, just a regular two storey house with a path leading up to the front door and a few flower beds around the garden. It wasn’t much but it was home.

With a happy sigh she turned off the engine and turned around once again to tell the boys that they’d arrived. She guessed that they were still watching a video or too interested in a game to notice the lack of movement. When she looked back she was greeted with a sight that nearly melted her heart. Frank and Gerard were both peacefully asleep. Frank’s head was resting on Gerard’s shoulder and had slightly nuzzled into the crook of the old boy’s neck. In response to this, Gerard had rested his head contentedly onto of Frank’s and thrown his around him in a semi-embrace. In Donna’s opinion, the position didn’t look comfortable at all. The seatbelt was digging into Frank’s side awkwardly and she was sure Gerard’s arm would be cramped when he woke up. Though the position didn’t see the best for either of them, they both had relaxed smiles on their faces, causing Donna’s heart to warm even more.

*

Ever since they sent Gerard to boarding school he was never too fond of his family. He felt, as he said, ‘abandoned’ for being left hours away from home. No matter how many times his family told him that they didn’t do it to abandon him and that it was for his wellbeing, Gerard cut himself off. He would ignore his parents and brother for days on end by locking himself in his room and only going out to use the bathroom or to get something to eat. During this period of his life, he rarely showered, allowing his hair to become unkempt, long and greasy.

His mother and father tried to clean his room, change his sheets and bring down fresh clothes but every time they went near his bedroom door, Gerard would scream, shout and swear. As a last resort, they sent his brother, Mikey, down to try and talk to him. Mikey managed to get into his room and get him to talk.

Mikey and Gerard had always been extremely close. Many people wouldn’t believe they were brothers, partly because they didn’t look related at first glance and secondly because they acted like best friends the majority of the time.

Mikey had straightened, dark blond hair, dark rimmed glasses and was thin. Some people always thought he was too thin and began to believe he was malnourished. Even though Mikey told people, almost daily, that he really was no malnourished and ate as much as he needed, they still didn’t believe him. Mikey had always been skinny and nothing would change that.

The giveaway that Gerard and Mikey were brothers was their facial structures. Both boys had unmistakable jawlines. Mikey’s had always been ‘sharper’ per se, but if someone looked close enough; they could clearly see the similarities.

On that night that Mikey went down to Gerard’s room, things started to change and progress was made. Gerard opened up to Mikey, telling him about why he had started to act that way. His brother had never been the best as expressing his emotion to anyone, not even himself, so it showed how desperate he had become. He told Mikey how hopeless he felt all the time and how he felt like nothing would get better. Between the tears, Mikey understood and hugged his brother close while rocking him gently. He could only imagine how tough it must have been to reveal his emotions that he had held in for so long.

Mikey was only 12 years old and Gerard 15. Because of his age, Mikey didn’t know how to properly comfort his brother, all he could do was hug him and tell him that he would get better one day. However, the one think he did know was that he had to tell his mother and/or father if Gerard wanted them to know or not. He had heard about how depression just became worse, if untreated or ignored, and didn’t want his brother to follow the same route.

Donna remembered Mikey rushing into her room with tear stained eyes and confessing what he’d just been told by his older brother. The news shocked and scared her, of course. No one expected their child to become depressed. Mikey told her not to go and check on Gerard until the morning because he was still in a very fragile state.

Gerard knew that Mikey had told his mom the moment he left his room. He could sense the change in atmosphere. Usually, their house had an upbeat and happy air to it, but not this time. He tried to smile at his family but it turned out to be a grimace.

“Gerard – honey, we need to talk. Come and sit with me?” his mother side, pointing to the couch and trying to give him a reassuring smile.

He already knew where this conversation was going. They were going to take him from the school and throw him into some hospital where he would spend the rest of his days. He didn’t see his future as a bright one but he didn’t want to live in an unnaturally sterile hospital forever. He let out a breath that he didn’t realise he was holding and sat next to his mom.

“You probably know what this conversation is about, don’t you?” he mother said with a dry laugh.

Gerard looked at his feet and sigh, “yeah, I probably do.”

“Firstly, you’re probably thinking of some overdramatic situation where I leave you in a hospital for years and years. I hope you know this isn’t the case and wouldn’t want to do that unless you are seriously hurting yourself or have planned to take your own life. I want you to be honest with me, Gerard, have you thought of or done either of these?”

“N-no,” Gerard said in a panicked voice. He didn’t expect those questions to be said as bluntly as they were. He’d never harmed himself or attempted suicide; though he would be lying his he said he never considered it once or twice. He knew if he did anything as drastic as that it wouldn’t only have an impact on his mother but fuck up his little brother. He didn’t want to take Mikey’s only close male relative away from him.

“Are you being honest, Gerard? Look at me and tell me the truth. You know I won’t judge you. I just want to find the best help I can for you, alright?”

“No, mom, I haven’t.” he said, still looking down at his feet.

“Okay, love, I believe you,” she said as she held him closely. “Why did it take you so long to say it to Mikey? We could’ve given you help if you just said. I know telling people how you feel is hard, especially for teenage boys like you when you have to keep up this tough shell, but talking about how you feel won’t make you any less ‘manly’ or whatever you believe it could do. Trust me?”

“I know. I’m so sorry,” Gerard whispered while he tried to stop his voice from shaking.

“I don’t know how… serious it is, but I’ve arranged an appointment at the doctors tomorrow. It’s during school so you can miss a couple of days, maybe a week. I’ll call the school and say you aren’t feeling well enough to travel there. They don’t have to know the real reason unless you want me to tell them or you say yourself.”

Gerard had always hated the doctors. It smelled fake and alien to him and there were needles in every direction. This added to the common anxiety people get at clinics. The thought alone of needles made his stomach turn.

“Thanks, mom,” he said, still in a hushed voice.

“No need to say thank you. You really do need this. I don’t want you sitting in depression for the rest of your life when we can get you treatment or therapy – anything to make you feel better again.” She replied, hugging him tightly and kissing his forehead. “Now, go and please take a shower and clean your room. I love you but you don’t smell too good,” she said in a jokey voice, ruffling his hair.

“Okay, will do” he replied with a smile, a genuine smile.

***

Once Gerard had showered and washed off all the dirt from days of sitting in his room, he went to the kitchen where his mother and brother were. He stood outside the door as he heard voices and wanted to eavesdrop.

“Mom, will Gerard get better?” Mikey said in an innocent voice.

“He will now. He’ll get there. Don’t worry,” his mother replied, with a smile clearly in her voice.

**

Donna had booked his appointment for 8:40 AM so they could get it out of the way. This stopped the building worry for both her and her son. Gerard sat in the cold, plastic waiting room chairs while Donna told the receptionist that they had arrived and who they were seeing.

All waiting rooms were the same to Gerard. They were all dull, lifeless and eerie. The posters on the walls showed waiting patients about a dental hygiene, sex safe and the symptoms of a common cold. Nothing joyful or entertaining at all. They did try to put some amusement in the rooms. To the far left of the room was a rack of magazines and children’s toys, but Gerard could see from his seat that they were either out of date, broken or just plain boring. The only sound was a clock ticking away in the background. It didn’t do much to improve the atmosphere; in fact it did the opposite and increased the unnerving setting.

Gerard looked around the room for what seemed like hours until his mom finally appeared in front of him.

“Ready?” she asked as she nodded in the general direction of the doctor’s office.

“As I’ll ever be,” he responded in a tired voice. “But mom, you can stay out here? It would be, uh, easier? Y’know?” he said, suddenly feeling awkward.

“Sure, sweetheart. I’ll be right out here. Remember, tell the truth and don’t be embarrassed or ashamed.” She reminded him as they went their different ways.

**

Gerard was met by a young, female doctor. She smiled at Gerard and indicated to a seat opposite her desk.

“Hi, Gerard. I’m Dr Smith, but you can call me Jenna if you want. It could make this feel less formal, perhaps?” she said, still with a smile on her face.

“Um, sure?” Gerard questioned.

“Okay, I’m just going to ask you a number of questions and you _have_ to answer honestly. What’s said here it confidential and no one but I and you will know, unless you are putting yourself or someone else in serious danger or harm.” Dr Smith said as she tried to keep a light and friendly tone to her voice.

“Okay,” Gerard said, hating how he seemed so uninterested.

Soon after, the doctor started reading out the questions from a sheet in front of her.

*

“All done,” she announced as she put the papers on her desk. “Is your mother outside? I’d like to talk to her. I won’t tell her anything you said, I promise, but we need to work out a…plan, let’s say?”

“I’ll go and get her,” he muttered as he walked towards the door and called his mom.

The instant he opened the door Donna stood up and walked towards him. He couldn’t miss the worried look etched on her face. He tried to smile at her and gestured towards the door, hoping that she would get the signal that the doctor needed to speak to her.

“Mrs Way,” Dr Smith said, “may I talk to you in private for a moment, please?”

“Of course. Gerard, wait out here. I’ll only be a minute.”

 

The minutes passed painfully slowly while he waited. He knew waiting was the worst part because it allowed his thoughts to wonder and make up impossible scenarios about his future and potential treatment. He knew that he should do as he was told and take or do whatever was prescribed for him. He certainly didn’t want to live like that anymore.

“Yes, thank you so much Doc- I mean Jenna. I’ll tell him what you said. Thanks again,” Donna said as she left the room, closing the door quietly behind her. “Gerard, the doctor has given me some methods to help you cope for now until we can find you a professional. It’ll only be short term but it may help. You never know.”

Gerard groaned. He didn’t want to be seen as ‘special’ or ‘insane’. He just wanted to live and happier life. “Right, mom. Sure.” He said, trying to hide the distress in his voice.

**

The doctor had gathered that Gerard enjoyed creating, especially drawing and comic book writing. She had suggested to Donna to buy him some art supplied and allow him to draw. A recent study had shown that people suffering with mental health issues, such as depression, had been known to feel a bit more positive, though not ‘cured’ as Dr Smith had emphasised.

Donna took her advice and bought Gerard the equipment he needed. She always knew that Gerard loved to draw but his enthusiasm had lessened more and more the further into his depression he went. She silently prayed that showing him new art utensils would restart some of the motivation he once had.

They didn’t have much money so she could by the top of the range things but she bought the best she could, knowing he would appreciate it. She bought him a couple of sketchbooks, a variety of different pencils which gave different shades or effects as well as some pens. Donna didn’t know exactly what to buy as she was never artistic, but she bought a wide range of things, hoping one or more of them would catch Gerard’s attention.

 

Gerard was lying on his bed facing the ceiling with his eyes closed when she entered the room. She clearly saw his headphones in his ears so she knew it would be like talking to a brick wall if she even attempted to speak. She carefully put the things she bought on his desk and snuck out of the room, hoping that she hadn’t been stopped so it would surprise her son.

Moments later she heard Gerard give out a joyful laugh and a thanks up the stairs. Hearing her son sound happy for the first time in what felt like years made her smile and tear up.

He’s going to be okay _,_ she thought as she put the rest of the shopping in the appropriate places.

*

The memory flooded her brain as if it had only happened yesterday. She beamed down at her son and thanked God he was no longer is such a dark place like he was only two years previously. He was now opening up more to people and with less resistance as before.

As much as she enjoyed seeing the two friends be so peaceful together, Donna pondered the thought of waking one up, ideally Gerard, to ask them to move into the house as it was approaching 9 PM and so they would be more comfortable too.

She got out of the car and walked to Gerard’s door; opening it slowly to make sure he didn’t fall out or get startles.

“Gerard, darling,” she whispered, gently shaking him, “you and Frank need to wake up. We’re home now. I’ll bring in your bags but you should wake up your friend and come in when you’re ready.”

“Mmm,” he replied in a sleepy voice, rubbing his eyes with his hands. “I’ll see you in there,” he yawned.

“See you in a bit, sweetheart,” she said, still in a low voice and kissed the top of his head before she walked to the house.

“Frank. Wake up. We’re here. We need to move and it’s getting cold. Come on,” Gerard spoke as he trying to persuade him to move.

“’m c-comfortable though. D-do we have t-to?” he begged.

“Yes we do. It’s comfier and warmer inside. Let’s go,” he said while moving Frank a little, trusting that Frank would get the signal.

“Fine.”

Gerard laughed and shook his head. “You’re so grumpy when you’ve just been woken up. You know that?”

Frank groaned in response and sat up straight.

“My mom’s brought our stuff in so we can go straight back to sleep when we get changed. I have two beds in my room so we can sleep there, if that okay?” Gerard asked.

“You h-have two beds i-in your room?” Frank said, surprised.

“Bonus of having a basement as a bedroom, I guess,” Gerard said as he opened the door wide enough to get out. “ _Hurry_ , its cold out and I want to sleep again.”

Frank scoffed, “and _y-you_ said _I_ w-was the moody o-one?”

“I did, now move!” Gerard said while laughing.

The two boys walked up the short path to the front door. Luckily, it was already open so Gerard didn’t have to struggle with the keys and they walked in.

“My room’s this way,” he pointed towards a set of stairs which lead down to the basement. “It seems dodgy but my parents redid it when I was younger so it isn’t the spider infested room you’re probably imagining.”

“G-good to know. N-nice house by t-the way,” Frank complimented. Gerard’s house was nothing like his. His house was cold, dark and uninviting whereas Gerard’s was warm and felt like a _home_ and not just a building in which they lived.

“Um, thank you? I think? Can you accept a compliment that’s for your house?”

Frank laughed at him and shook his head.

“Shhh,” Gerard hushed. “I’m tired. We should sleep. The beds should be all set up and honestly, I can’t be bothered changing into my pyjamas, so I’ll just sleep in these clothes. They’re comfortable enough.”

“S-sure,” Frank agreed as they started to make their way down the steps.

 

When Gerard said that his parents had redone his room when he was younger, he wasn’t lying. Frank was fully expecting a damp and draft-y room but, to his surprise, he saw the complete opposite.

Even in the dark he could see Gerard’s walls were plastered in posters of bands, movies and comic book.

Sensing Gerard looking at him, Frank turned around and saw him smiling at him through the darkness.

“Do you like them? It took me so long to collect them,” he said, still smiling.

“L-love them. There’s s-so many!”

“Thanks. I wish they allowed us to put them up in our dorm rooms to make us feel less homesick but they seem to hate individuality there,” he sighed and Frank nodded which was quickly followed by a yawn.

Gerard flopped down on one bed with a relieved airy laugh. “Bed. Finally!” he said while he shuffled under the blankets.

“Yeah,” Frank murmured back, copying what Gerard did.

“Goodnight, Frank,” Gerard said into the darkness.

“’Night, G-Gerard. And a-also thank y-you. It m-means a lot.”

“Honestly, Frank. Don’t worry about it. I would’ve invited you to stay regardless of the…issues you have at your place right now.”

That night, both boys fell asleep with content smiles on their faces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's also on [Wattpad ](http://www.wattpad.com/story/35371003-early-sunsets-frerard)if it's easier for some people. There could be some tiny, tiny differences between here and there because I add/remove words sometimes. However, the plot will be exactly the same so!   
> As always, feel free to comment because I genuinely want to see what people think of this, and add kudos if you want.  
> Thanks for reading! xo


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't Waycest, just a misunderstanding on Frank's behalf.  
> xo

Frank couldn’t remember the last time he slept as well as he did in the Way’s house. He actually felt warm and comfortable for perhaps the first time in his life.

Due to his parents neglect and financial issues, his room was always cold. There was always a small gap between the wall and his ill-fitting window frame. This didn’t bother Frank too much in the summer, in fact it came as a blessing, allowing his room to have a constantly flow of cooling area go through it. The cool breeze stopped his bedroom from becoming unbearably humid because his parents could afford air conditioning in any room which wasn’t the main living space.

This was a different story in the winter. New Jersey was known for its famous bitterly cold winter storms. The wind rattled his window endlessly, not letting him sleep until it died down. Even when the wind did stop, the rain came through the gap, leaving little damp patching all down the wall which would eventually turn into mould if Frank didn’t wipe it up.

The weather was bad but Frank could manage them if he stayed away from the gap and nestled in the far corner of his room, wrapped in whatever blankets he could find. The storms were fine but the spiders weren’t. Frank had always had a mild case of arachnophobia when he was younger. It was trigger when a young boy in his school threw a spider at him as a joke; ever since that day, the mere thought of them cause fear to flood his body. Frank used to spend hours at night searching for spiders and other insects that may have crawled into his room. All he knew was that he wasn’t comfortable in his own bedroom until he had done a thorough search. He looked everywhere – under his bed, clothes, books, practically anywhere he could think of. He was never at ease there. He always felt like bugs were skulking on and around him, finding new places to populate. Frank hated the winter months; nothing would change this, not even being in Gerard’s house.

Frank was pulled from his thought when he heard Gerard groan and stretch from the opposite side of the room, indicating that they were both awake. It wasn’t too early, possibly eight or nine in the morning, but Frank felt like he could happily sleep forever in their spare bed.

“Frank? Are you awake yet?” Gerard said, his voice cracking slightly.

“Y-yeah, I’m up.”

“Great,” Gerard yawned. “Time for breakfast!” he said, jumping enthusiastically out of bed. Frank had never been a morning person, so his friend’s enthusiasm stunned him. “What? Don’t you want anything to eat?”

 _Mikey?_ Frank thought to himself, feeling a pang of jealousy strike through him. He didn’t want this to show so he tried to smile at Gerard. “Oh, uh, I d-do. Sorry, y-you’re just so f-full of energy in th-the mornings.” Frank spoke as he dangled his legs over the edge of the bed.

“Nah, I just like getting the best things to eat first before Mikey eats it all?” Gerard said as he walked out of the room to the staircase. “You coming?” he said as nodded towards the door.

“I a-am. I just c-can’t jump o-out of bed like y-you. I need a s-second,” Frank laughed.

“Sorry,” his friend apologised as he held his arm out for Frank to hold. “To breakfast, m’dear,” Gerard said in a fake posh accent making Frank giggle.

“Y-you’re so stupid. L-lets go.” Frank chuckled as they walked up the steps together, arms linked.

***

Frank really enjoyed the close, physical contact he got from Gerard. He couldn’t explain it well, but he felt safe next to him but couldn’t deny the fuzzy feeling he felt in his stomach every time they were near each other. Frank was sure Gerard was only being so caring was because he pitted him. Frank really didn’t want any sympathy, a few understanding looks from passing strangers or someone to tell him how he should’ve dealt with it. Frank didn’t want crippling guilt and regret added to his life. He wanted to forget his home life for a while until he had to move back over the summer. He tried to forget about that part. Many students counted down the days until their summer break, but not Frank. He dreaded it. He didn’t want to go back to his parents’ obvious neglect and disregard to his he felt, now he’d see how other people treated him. They treated him like a human; not a pile of dirt. He knew how his life _should_ be and didn’t want to trade it back.

“Frank,” Gerard whispered taking his arm slowly away from his. “We gotta go in the kitchen to get food. Why are you just standing there?” Gerard muttered as he attempted to conceal his irritated tone of voice.

As hard as he tried, Frank still heard it; ducked his head and walked into the kitchen shortly followed by Gerard.

The Way’s kitchen, like much of their house, was bigger and more impressive than Frank’s had ever been. The shelves which covered the walls were filled with a selection of dried. On the lowest shelf, food such as pasta and rice were stacked to the very top. It reminded Frank of a game of Tetris he once played with a group of school friends back when he was younger. On the middle layer, tins of all shapes and sizes were spread out. All their labels were facing forward and in a neat line. Casting his gaze up he saw the very top shelf. This level had spices, Frank presumed. Just like the tins they were tidily presented. Frank had never seen that much food in one place before. It astonished him how they could afford it. As Frank looked closer, he saw that they weren’t all the basic versions of the food – many were branded or high quality.

The next thing that caught Frank’s attention was the size of the room itself. There was space for a few people to move around the work places easily without having to squash past or exist the room to allow someone else to get to the other end. /Frank had always loved to cook. Before he was old enough to go to school, he and his mother used to bake all kinds of cakes and other baked goods. When his father returned from work, Frank would always give him a few. He used to hug his son, picking him up by the waist and spinning him around before doing the same to his wife, thanking them kindly for all the hard work they had put into their cooking. Frank missed the times when he used to live in a happy, functional family, but quickly realised there was no point in reminiscing about times gone by if they were never going to return.

“Frank, Gerard! Come in and sit with us,” Donna called from the wooden dining table in the centre of the room. “I made pancakes. I hope that’s alright, Frank.”

“P-perfect. Thank you, D-Donna,” Frank said as he took a seat next to Gerard.

“Wonderful. Mikey should be down in a second,” she said.

As if Mikey had been waiting for his cue, he entered the room.

“Morning, Mikes,” Gerard greeted him as he stood up and hugged the boy and kissed the top of his head.

Mikey looked a few years younger than both Frank and Gerard. Frank estimated he was around no more than fifteen at most.

He watched the two boys greet each other and felt the jealousy come back. Frank knew he had no reason or right to be jealous of this new person, but as selfish as it seemed he wanted most of Gerard’s attention. He had become so accustomed to being the person Gerard spent his time with that it felt foreign to him to witness his friend show affection to someone else.

Deep down, Frank knew he was developing a crush on Gerard. As much as he tried to stop it, the feeling wouldn’t go. He was the first person who showed fondness towards him in years, so naturally his emotions clung onto it.

It was really stupid, Frank thought. They had never discussed their sexuality or relationship status before – there’d never been an appropriate time or conversation topic to bring it up. Frank guessed Gerard was straight, maybe not with a significant other, but definitely straight. Unlike Frank, Gerard hadn’t showed any attraction towards someone of the same sex and his actions towards his friend were just ones of support and trust, nothing else.

However, the introduction of Mikey made Frank’s opinion change. They didn’t look similar enough to be related in any way, and their greeting seemed too…intimate for just friends. In Frank’s experience, friends rarely kissed the top of their other friend’s heads as a way to say good morning.

The thought of Gerard being with another guy bothered Frank a lot, probably too much, far more than it would have if he was with a girl. He didn’t see why it affected him like it had. He was aware that Gerard was being nice to him because that what friends did, right? It wasn’t as if he was confessing his undying love for him and they certainly weren’t in a relationship.

Frank sat there at the dinner table, feeling himself becoming more envious of Mikey as each second went by.

The next thing Frank saw was Gerard sitting down on the chair next to him, holding to plates stacked with pancakes.

“Here. We didn’t eat a lot yesterday so I guess you’re starving. I definitely am!” Gerard laughed at himself as placed one in front of Frank. “I know you’re a vegetarian so it’s just maple syrup. Is that alright?” He asked, stabbing his fork into his first pancake.

“Yeah, t-thanks,” Frank answered bluntly. Gerard looked at his from the corner of his eye, feeling like something was wrong. Gerard knew that bringing it up now wouldn’t be a success and if anything, Frank would shut down and refuse to speak. He looked down at his breakfast and continued to eat, thinking of how to tackle Frank’s sudden mood changes.

***

The rest of breakfast went without another word spoken by either friends. Mikey would sense the awkward tension mounting in the room and excused himself to sit in the other room. This allowed Frank and Gerard some privacy.

“What the fuck’s gotten into you, Frank? Why are you acting like this? You were fine before we sat down and then your mood just flipped,” Gerard said in a harsh tone, facing Frank.

“N-nothing,” he replied and started to poke the remaining syrup left on his plate with his fork.

“No. It isn’t _nothing_. Something’s up, I can tell. Why are you being all distant to us? To me? Don’t you like it here? You could always go back to your-“

“No,” Frank cut him off, “I-I do like it h-here. Your m-mom is really n-nice. It’s n-not that. It isn’t i-important anyway. I-I’m sorry,” Frank apologised, continuing to play with this food.

Gerard sighed and reached for Frank hands. He gently squeezed them, causing Frank’s stomach to flip and his heart to speed up. “Don’t say that. It has to be something and even if it seems stupid, you can tell me. I won’t judge you or tell anyone. But if you’re planning to kill yourself, or anyone else for that matter, I may have to tell someone, of course.” Gerard said in a softer voice, smiling faintly at Frank.

“It’s s-stupid,” Frank blushed.

“It isn’t.”

“C-can we n-not talk about i-it? Please. I, uh, just d-don’t feel comfortable t-talking about it n-now,” he spoke, keeping his defensive tone to a minimum. He really didn’t feel like revealing his crush on his closest friend before ten in the morning.

“Okay. I don’t want to pressure you…”

“B-but I can t-talk to you w-whenever I want. G-Gerard, I _k-know_ ,” Frank said with a smile.

“That predicable, am I?” he laughed back.

“Sorry, b-but yes.”

“Come on, let’s do something,” Gerard said as he unwound his fingers from Frank’s. “We have a whole day ahead of us and my mom’s just left with Mikey, meaning we have the whole house to ourselves today!” he cheered.

Frank returned the enthusiasm with a clap of his hands.

“I bet I can beat you to my room,” Gerard shouted as he sprinted off towards the stair case.

“You l-little _shit_ ,” Frank yelled after him as he chased his friend down the hall.

Maybe the jealousy he felt earlier wasn’t anything to dwell over. He knew that he and Gerard didn’t have a chance together, so why should he ruin a perfect friendship over it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's also on [Wattpad ](http://www.wattpad.com/story/35371003-early-sunsets-frerard)if it's easier for some people. There could be some tiny, tiny differences between here and there because I add/remove words sometimes. However, the plot will be exactly the same so!   
> As always, feel free to comment because I genuinely want to see what people think of this, and add kudos if you want.  
> Thanks for reading! xo


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another filler chapter, kind of?  
> xo

Despite nearly tripping over his own feel while running to his room, Gerard was the first person to barge through the door into his dimly lit room. The small window on the back wall never gave in a lot of natural light meaning his light had to be on pretty much constantly, whether it was day or night – to his mother’s discontent. His mother tried to maximise the amount of light in the room by paining the walls in bright colours and whites, but her attempts didn’t work. As soon as Gerard had enough money he bought as many posters as he could afford, plastering his wall with them. No matter what she said or suggested, her son wouldn’t remove them or decrease their number.

Gerard loved his room, he really did. It screamed character to him, everything his dorm room didn’t; he wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Noticing that he had been alone in his room for longer than he anticipated, he turned around to face his door, fully expecting Frank to be centimetres behind him, but he wasn’t.

With a slightly annoyed sigh, he stuck his head out of his room. There was no possible way Frank could have become lost while getting down there as they were both standing only a few meters away from the top of the staircase leading down to his room. Also, once he reached the bottom, Gerard’s door was pretty much opposite; there weren’t any other doors for his friend to get confused by.

Gerard looked up to see Frank looking down at him from the bottom step.

“You took your time,” Gerard stated.

“So?” Frank shrugged, “r-running’s never b-been my strong p-point. I wasn’t r-ready anyway.”

“Are you sure it isn’t because you’re-“

“I w-will _end_ y-you, Way, i-if you finish that s-sentence.” Frank said in a rather serious voice, surprising Gerard.

“-short.”

“ _Gerard_ ,” Frank whined.

“I’m sorry. It was too tempting,” he said as he gently poked his friend’s arm. “Come on, we can do things now. I have a load of movies we can watch. Can I convince you to watch a horror film? Please?”

Frank huffed and nodded as he entered the room. He put the clothes and other items on Gerard’s bed neatly onto the floor and sat cross-legged on the edge of his bed.

“Do you have any preference?” Gerard asked, looking at Frank while pushing his hair out of his face.

“N-not really. Whatever you w-want,” he shrugged again.

“What about _Carrie_? It’s not the scariest but it’ll do,” Gerard announced before putting the DVD into the TV and sitting down with Frank.

 

Unbeknown to Frank, the film he just agreed to watch included multiple full nudity scenes. Frank studied his friend’s face to see if he could stop any change in his expression, but it stayed the same – with or without nudity.

Gerard saw Frank looking at his through the corner of his eye. At first he tried to ignore the almost intense gaze Frank had; shaking it off and telling himself Frank wasn’t looking at him necessarily, just around him at the opposite wall, admiring the large poster of some punk band he’d put up recently. Ultimately, his friend watching at him became too uncomfortable and Gerard became curious to as why Frank had been looking at him more than the TV screen.

Gerard cleared his throat and spoke. “And exactly why have you been watching the side of my face more than the film? I don’t mean this in a horrible way but it’s kind of creeping me out and it’s rather off-putting.”

Luckily for Frank, Gerard didn’t see his face heat us as he had turned the lights off, only allowing the glow from the screen to illuminate the room.

“Oh, uh, n-no reason. I d-didn’t realise I was?” he responded. Frank swore he had been subtle about it. He knew staring was wrong and impolite but he was perplexed to why a, presumably, straight guy had no reaction to see a group of naked girls on a screen in front of him. Surely, he thought, it must be some kind of dream for them, knowing it would be for him if they were of the opposite gender.

“Frank,” Gerard said in an unconvinced voice. “You’ve been acting really weird since we arrived. What is it? Spit it out.”

“H-honestly, it’s nothing,” Frank said in a whisper, playing with the hem of his shirt anxiously.

“We won’t talk about breakfast then, but _why_ were you just looking at me? The film’s been on for over half an hour and you haven’t been watching it, you’ve been watching me. Shit, Frank, if it was too scary, you could’ve just told me and we could have put something else on.”

Frank heard Gerard’s voice becoming angrier and angrier the longer he spoke. Knowing Gerard was probably the closest friend he was ever going to have, he decided to do as Gerard asked and confessed.

“I just w-wanted to see if…if you h-had some reaction t-to the girls in the f-film,” he said, blushing harder than before.

“Wait? You wanted to see if I started to drool over them?” Gerard laughed.

“M-maybe?”

“We may have only known each other for slightly over a month but I thought you’d know that I don’t objectify women like that. Yes, I can see there are clearly naked women right in front of me, but it’s just a body, we all have them, don’t we?” he asked rhetorically. “They’re bodies aren’t for the enjoyment of men, unlike some parts of society have told us and that really sickens me. Women are seen as ‘sex on legs’ for some, and it really shouldn’t be the case.” Gerard let out a small sigh. “Like I said, bodies and just bodies, we all have them. Besides, there’s nothing erotic about this, they’re just in the showers; it isn’t porn.”

Frank was left speechless, utterly gobsmacked about the small yet powerful speech that had just left his friend’s mouth.

Noticing Frank’s silence he turned to face him, hoping that he hadn’t come across too strongly. Gerard knew how some people were towards some girls – he’d seen it in his old school. Groups of boys ganged around one girl, catcalling and wolf whistling. Gerard clearly saw how uneasy she was with the situation, but the group around her persisted. Though she tried to laugh it off and push them aside, the name-calling continued. The boys kept shouting sexist terms and such at her as she hurried off into the school building.

The people calling after her were your stereotypical jocks. They had the football uniforms, hair, the unnaturally white teeth, and the looks, pretty much everything. But with that look came the though façade they had to keep up to stay with their group. Gerard knew half of it was put on so they weren’t singled out and bullied on within the group of a number of homophobic terms to highlight how apparently ‘weak’ they were for not chasing innocent girls. From then on, Gerard witnessed how some people could act towards one another and frankly it disgusted him.

The first thing he saw was Frank’s slightly open mouth as he looked at Gerard in some kind of awe.

“I’m sorry if that seemed like an overreaction. I know you didn’t mean it like that, I honestly do, but something’s just don’t sit right with me, y’know?”

“Y-yeah, I get y-you. I’m sorry, I-I didn’t mean t-to…” Frank faded off.

They both sat in awkward, tense silence while they both wondered what to say next. In the time they spent without speaking, Gerard remembered that he actually knew very little about Frank. While he thought about it more, it came to him that he hardly knew he boy sitting next to him. They hadn’t covered the basic questions like when their birthdays where, their favourite colour and animal, all those small but weirdly important questions.

“Hey, Frank?” Gerard asked, breaking the silence first.

Frank hummed in response, indicating that he had heard him.

“I never found out when your birthday way. I know you’re turning seventeen but that’s about it.”

“It’s on O-October 31st,” Frank said slowly becoming suspicious. Not many people cared enough to ask about the smaller details like that. “Why?”

“Halloween? That’s so cool!” Gerard exclaimed.

Frank nodded bashfully, not expecting Gerard to be so enthusiastic.

“Shit. Halloween? That’s only a few days away from now. I haven’t got you anything yet.”

Frank shook his head, “It’s f-fine. D-don’t bother with i-it.” Frank had never bothered with his birthday. None of his family made an effort. To him it was just Halloween, nothing more; nothing less.

“You’re only saying that,” Gerard teased as he shuffled closer to Frank and rested his head on the younger boy’s shoulder. “What do you want?” Gerard said in a sing-song voice.

Frank fidgeted uncomfortably, feeling Gerard’s hot breath on his neck. He quickly tried to remember how to breathe before muttering how he really didn’t want anything.

“Fine. I’ll have to guess then, “Gerard said blinking up at Frank while smiling.

Frank fought the urge to grab onto Gerard face and kiss him hard. He’d fantasised about crushing his lips to Gerard’s probably far too often for comfort. He small kisses on the top of his head, forehead and cheek were nice, of course they were, but Frank wanted and craved more. He had never had anything people would class a serious relationship before. He’d seem people throughout the summer months that he’d met in parties his friends had thrown, but they only lasted a month or two. Frank dreamed of having nights in with his significant other, curled up on the sofa under a blanket as they watched old, boring films which would quickly turn into tickle fights and make out sessions. In all honesty, Frank craved the feeling of being loved and cared for – all the feelings he never received from his parents.

Just before Frank’s thought wondered any further, he heard the unmistakable voice of Donna come from upstairs calling Gerard.

Gerard grumbled as he lifted his head from Frank’s shoulder which he found was surprisingly comfortable.

“I’ll see what she needs. You can stay here if you want. I won’t be too long,” he said before opening his bedroom door and walking up the stairs to meet his mother.

***

“What?” Was the first thing that left his mouth when he saw his mother.

“Attitude,” she warned him. “I just want to ask you something about Frank, that’s all. Stop being so grumpy. Go and sit in there while I make Mikey do something so he won’t interrupt us.”

Gerard sighed again and sat down at the dining table.

“Mikey. You need to be a good host and also get to know Frank better. He may be with us for a while, okay?” she asked her youngest son.

Much like Gerard, Mikey groaned in annoyance and made his way down to his older brother’s room.

“Okay, what do you want to know then?” Gerard asked, tapping his fingertips on the hardwood surface.

“I want to know all you know, really. But firstly, why were you so adamant that he came here? What’s wrong with his family? He doesn’t look neglected.” She said, showing Gerard how ignorant she could be.

In his head, Gerard added up all the potential pros and cons of telling his mother some of Frank’s biggest secrets. He knew it was morally wrong to confess them; however, telling an adult may help him in the long term. Gerard wasn’t sure how poor his friend’s circumstances were but he knew they weren’t ideal and with this limited knowledge, he knew it could be an offense.

On top of that, Frank was still classed as a minor, meaning the charge could be more serious. He didn’t know what could come after he told his mom. In his mind there were a few potential scenarios: nothing happened, Frank’s parents were fined or imprisoned or Frank was put up for foster care. If anything, Gerard hoped the second option to come true. He cared enough for Frank that he didn’t want his parents to walk free but the thought of him being sent off to live with a group of people he didn’t know in an area he was unfamiliar with wouldn’t help anyone.

“Tell me, Gerard. You were so determined to let him stay here when he could be with his family. Why?” his mother pressed him.

Silently saying sorry to him, he started to tell his mother everything Frank had told him only a few weeks before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's also on [Wattpad ](http://www.wattpad.com/story/35371003-early-sunsets-frerard)if it's easier for some people. There could be some tiny, tiny differences between here and there because I add/remove words sometimes. However, the plot will be exactly the same so!   
> As always, feel free to comment because I genuinely want to see what people think of this, and add kudos if you want.  
> Thanks for reading! xo


	10. Chapter 10

Describing Frank’s parents and his treatment at home proved a lot harder than Gerard had first anticipated. He knew it would be difficult to retell the story to his mother. He tried his best not to get facts and details wrong as he was fully aware of the significance of them. He feared understating his friend’s abuse or exaggerating; making his situation a lot worse. Gerard knew he had the option of showing his mother the letter Frank wrote that night but decided against it as he felt it was too personal. He owed Frank some privacy, at least.

It wasn’t just getting the details correct which made it complicated, his emotions got in the way too. He felt himself become chocked up while he explained how his parents treated him once he was _forced_ to come out and how his father beat him. Gerard had to blink tears away from his eyes; he couldn’t show his mother how much it affected him. It was stupid really keeping up a tough, unbreakable appearance. Gerard felt Frank slowly tearing down the walls his spent building up throughout the years of depression he faced, yet he couldn’t get himself to care or stop him. He quickly stopped his mind from wondering and continued with retelling why he was so determined not to let Frank return home.

Donna mostly stayed quiet while Gerard talked, only letting out small gasps, disapproving sounds and shakes of her head at appropriate times.

Donna sat in silence while she got her head around what her son had just told her. Frank seemed like such a sweet kid; she didn’t see why anyone would want to hurt him, especially his own parents. She knew how some Christians were not in favour of to same-sex relationships and rejection and isolation in families were not uncommon due to it, but it never occurred to her that anyone could physically hurt their child because of who they found attractive and loved.

The longer his mother didn’t speak, the guiltier and guiltier Gerard began to feel. Deep down he knew he had to tell someone. He couldn’t keep it a secret knowing that Frank’s well-being, and potentially, life were at risk. He knew many people weren’t trustworthy or would just pass it off as nothing, but and his trusted his mom and believed she would do her best to help. Some of the pressure he felt weighing him down could be lifted if he confided in someone, or so he thought.

The guilt hit him in three massive waves. The first wave was when he started to tell her. He tried to shake it off, telling himself that it was for Frank’s benefit and the pros did outweigh the cons, but the underlying feeling stayed at the back of his head.

The second wave was when he was telling his mother about how Frank’s dad had thrown him into the empty room and hit after trying to tell him how ‘unnatural’ he was as well as being called a fag and numerous other homophobic slurs.

The final wave hit him the hardest – when he released he couldn’t unsay what he had just said and now Donna was in on Frank secret.

He chanted all the benefits this could bring Frank in his head whenever he felt the doubt creep up on him, trying to get rid of them, but it didn’t completely kill the feeling that he was perhaps not doing the best thing for his friend.

“Where is he?” Donna said, as she stood up from her seat. “I need to talk to him, Gerard.”

“No!” Gerard exclaimed, grabbing onto his mother’s arm, stopping her from moving. “Please don’t. No now, please?” He began to beg, becoming increasingly desperate.

“Gerard...”

“No, mom, please. Let me tell him. He doesn’t know you enough yet and I think I could try and explain it to him. Maybe he’d see why I told you?”

“Fine, but this can’t go unnoticed. I’ll call the police, social services, anything. As long as he’s safe and doesn’t go back to that _vile_ house ever again. I’ve hardly known the kid for two days but I will protect him like he’s my own son.” She said in a serious tone which poured with concern and anger.

“Sure, whatever you want to do. I have on request. It’s probably out of our control, but if he does have to be put into care can he stay near us? I don’t think it would be fair to send him to a different state or miles away. Not now, mom. He’s nearly seventeen; he wouldn’t cope well at all. I can almost feel it.”

Donna sadly smiled at Gerard. “You really care for this boy, don’t you?”

“I do, so much...”

“You know I won’t have a big say in what happens to him, however, I will fight for him. He deserves love now. It’s better late than never.”

Gerard nodded, agreeing more than ever. Frank had nearly gone his entire life without feeling the compassion and unconditional love from a family and it made Gerard heart ache.

“Go and talk to him and bring Mikey up here. I’ll ask him to go to his room or out for a bit. I have some calls to make,” his mother said as she got up and walked towards the phone.

He nodded again and slowly walked towards the staircase; thinking of where to start his confession.

***

Gerard stood outside his door, his heart racing. On his way down to his room he had thought of various ways to break the news to Frank. Every possible path he considered either seemed to blunt and to the point or too vague – he couldn’t get the balance right.

Taking a deep breath to steady his heart, he pushed the door open with a long creek.

Both Mikey and Frank were sitting on the bedroom floor, looking down at a magazine. Both boys were blankly gazing down at the glossy pictures and print, clearly not taking any of it in. Gerard could feel the awkward vibes coming off them.

Gerard cleared his throat causing Frank to look in his direction with a fearful expression etched across his face.

“Mikey, mom wants to talk to you. She asked me to come and get you.”

“Gerard, don’t lie. I know this is an excuse so you and Frank can make out in private,” Gerard younger brother scoffed.

Neither Frank nor Gerard expected that assumption, leaving them both silent, mouths slightly open in shock.

“See. You aren’t denying it,” Mikey said smugly. To this Frank’s cheek instantly started to heat up until they felt like they could combust at any second.

“That is _not_ the reason, Michael,” Gerard spat. “This is _my_ room and I need to speak to Frank alone anyway. It doesn’t concern you.”

“You don’t seem so bothered that Frank’s here though. Seems suspicious to me,” the younger of the Way brothers laughed.

“I’ll give you three seconds to get out of here before I make you rethink your birth, Mikey,” Gerard said in a threatening voice.

“I’m going. Have fun sharing spit with my brother, Frankie,” Mikey teased as he left the room; Gerard slamming the door after him.

Once he heard Mikey walk upstairs, Gerard turned to Frank who was still bright red and looking up at him with wide eyes.

“Sharing spit,” Gerard mumbled to himself and rolled his eyes. Mikey lived to make himself and his friends uncomfortable. “Ignore him. He’s only doing it to wind me up. It worked, obviously,” he said, rolling his eyes and offering a small smile to Frank as he sat down facing him.

He still hadn’t come up with the best way to tackle what he had to say. Tiptoeing around the topic wouldn’t help as it would stretch it out too long but he needed to put it in a sensitive way, knowing how thin-skinned Frank was.

Frank edged closer to Gerard so their knees touched before letting out a short sigh and focusing on his knees.

“Y-you said we n-needed to t-talk?” He questioned, lifting his gaze to look his friend in the eye.

“Yeah, we do. I don’t know how to say this,” Gerard squirmed.

“Y-you told someone, d-didn’t you, Gerard?”

Gerard stayed quiet, not wanting to admit it. Maybe he didn’t make the best choice.

“Didn’t you, G-Gerard?” Frank repeated, plainly becoming angrier.

Gerard remained silent, confirming Frank’s thoughts.

“Gerard, I _t-trusted_ you! I t-thought you c-could keep it a s-secret! You’re t-the first person I-I told. I d-don’t just t-tell whoever I m-meet these things, y-you know that! F-fuck, I trusted y-you!” Frank screamed as tears welled up in his eyes.

“Let me explain, please,” his pleaded. Gerard knew Frank wouldn’t take it well. All he had to do what explain himself.

“N-no, fuck off, G-Gerard. I tell y-you these t-things because friends d-don’t go a-and shout out their f-friends’ secrets t-to the rest o-of the world. D-do you know w-what the d-definition of a f-friend is, Gerard? Do you?” Frank shouted, allowing the tears to spill out from his eyes.

“If you just let me-“ Gerard cried.

“Look,” Frank said, showing Gerard the definition of ‘a friend’ which he had found on his phone.

It read: ‘ _Friend (noun): A person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection_.’

“S-see, ‘mutual affection,’ I don’t f-feel any o-of that n-now,” Frank stated, pointing at the exact phrase on the small screen, looking at Gerard right in his red, puffy, tear stained eyes. “F-fuck. Gerard, y-you... you _betrayed_ me!” Frank sobbed lifting his hands to his face and covering his eyes. Frank muttered something under his breath that Gerard didn’t catch, and probably didn’t want to.

Gerard looked at his friend hopelessly while trying to form words. He opened his mouth multiple times but no words came out. He thought Frank was overacting slightly, but he let the other boy scream at him as he tried to figure out how to tell Frank what he needed to know.

Frank wiped away the tears from his eyes and let out a shaky sigh.

“Frank, listen to me,” he whispered and approached Frank before he could protest.

Gerard gently gripped Frank’s arms and moved his hands down to hold his hands, removing them from covering his face, and intertwines their fingers.

“You probably hate me right now. You probably think I’m an asshole, a back stabber, a dick and almost certainly a lot worse, but _please_ let me say my side of the story. Please?” he spoke softly, trying to resort the calm atmosphere that his room usually had.

Frank looked down at their linked fingers; then at Gerard and nodded, allowing him to continue.

“Promise me not to speak while I do. It’ll make it easier. You can punch me and do whatever else afterwards. I deserve it, I guess,” he said.

Frank exhaled and nodded once again.

“You know I care for you, right? Like, a lot? I didn’t do this in a malicious or spiteful way, I wouldn’t do that and certainly not to you,” Gerard said, quietly. “When you told me about what happened, I knew you couldn’t go back there because God knows what else they could do to you. I didn’t want to see you get hurt even more. Then it was punches and insults, but what about next time, if there’s a next time? Broken bones? Worse? I didn’t want you going through that, not again.”

“You d-didn’t have t-to-“

Gerard ignored his friend, and continued talking. “I called my mom while you weren’t in the room as asked if you could stay here for the break,” he confessed, smiling weakly when he saw Frank looking at him in shock. “They sent you here to pretty much get rid of you. I know that sounds harsh, but honestly, Frank, that’s what they did.”

Frank shook his head, not wanting to believe that Gerard was saying. His parents _loved_ him, he was sure of it. How could they hate their own son, anyway?

“You came out, granted you were forced, and they sent you off to a boarding school miles away from your home. You turning up at their door only a month after leaving may not have gone well. Besides, it isn’t like they’d come and get you? I’m not trying to talk shit about your parents, but it’s just how I see things.” He stopped talking for a while, trying to prevent himself from imaging in what would have happened to Frank if he did turn up at his parents’ door.

“I noticed how down you’d been the days before leaving. Usually people are so eager to leave that hellhole and would go at every opportunity. You, however, you seemed less... enthusiastic, let’s say. I didn’t think of why for a bit, I just thought you were tired of school like we all were. It took me far too long to realise that you were dreading to go back to your home. Thinking about it now, it was so _obvious_. Understanding that made me call my mom and make these arrangements,” Gerard asked as softly as he could.

“Y-you can’t guess w-what’s happening at my h-house,” Frank snapped, although he sounded anything by angry at Gerard.

“You do prefer it here than at home?” Gerard asked, rhetorically. “The reason why I had to tell someone was because you need to know you don’t have to live like that. You don’t have to live in fear of your parents. You don’t have to be put last. You can be cared for by people who love you. You just need to accept help from people who offer it to you – that’s why I told her,” he explained, making it a little simpler so Frank could understand him.

“She’s trustworthy, really. She helped me get through my darker stages of my life by finding me the right people. She’ll bend over backwards for someone she cares for. Though you literally met her less than forty-eight hours ago, I can tell she cares for you. She cared before I told her, so don’t think she cares out of sympathy or pities you.”

Frank made an unhappy sound. He didn’t like Gerard going behind his back and telling strangers what he had been through. He thought he told Gerard – and only Gerard – and didn’t expect him to start spreading what his parents did to him.

“We’ll find you the help you need and _deserve_ , Frank,” Gerard said, emphasising his words. “In all honestly, I’m not sure what will happen, if anything, but it’s worth a shot. It’s better to try, fail and try again than not try at all.”

Frank shrugged a little, giving Gerard a lopsided smile. It was sweet that someone was trying to help him, he guessed.

Gerard smiled back once he realised Frank was no longer scowling at him. He took a deep breath, collecting his thoughts before continuing. “Like, shit, if you have to be fostered or whatever the fuck it is, I could see if my mom could foster you. I’m sure they have some policies about moving children around a lot and at certain ages. You are practically seventeen, so they may see it as an option. Besides, we spend months at boarding school so it won’t add too much strain onto my mom.” He was just throwing ideas out, but he hoped that his mother would agree to letting Frank stay with them for a while. Gerard wasn’t sure about what legal implications it had with it, but he was willing to try anything.

“Like I said at the start, I care for you, so much. As you can guess I’m not the most caring or loving person. You’ve spoken to Ray, haven’t you? He was probably shocked that you didn’t see me as the giant asshole I am. Tyler certainly did.” Gerard laughed, feebly.

“I hope this reason makes you despise me less. I am sorry, so sorry. I’ll probably feel guilty forever but I couldn’t live knowing that you’d eventually go back to that house. It was eating me alive, Frank. Do you understand where I’m coming from?” Frank nodded a little, looking down at the space between their two bodies.

“You deserve love for once in your life,” Gerard ended his heartfelt speech and averted his eyes from Frank. He hoped he hadn’t overstepped the mark when he told his mom, but he prayed to himself that Frank would see that he had good intentions.

Moments later, he felt the pressure on his fingertips as Frank squeezed them tighter.

Gerard plucked up the courage to look at him, praying that some of his expiation had got to Frank and made him seem less of a backstabbing asshole.

To Gerard’s initial horror, he saw fresh tears run down Frank’s pale face and onto his shirt. Gerard started to wonder if his words had been too insensitive and cruel for Frank.

“Frank, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry. Don’t- don’t hate me, please,” he started to beg again, feeling his chest tighten.

“S-shut up, Gerard. You know w-well enough that I c-couldn’t hate you. E-ever. What I s-said earlier w-was just me o-overacting. It was a s-shock. I didn’t e-expect anyone e-else to know. I s-should be the o-one apologising,” Frank said with a tiny chuckle.

“We’re both sorry, then? Can we move on?”

“Y-yes, please.”

“Guess this was our first official fight. Can we not make this a regular thing? I hate it.”

“N-never again?” Frank asked.

“Never again,” Gerard agreed.

They both sat in silence, but this time it wasn’t awkward like it had been when Mikey was with Frank or tense like it was before they started to argue. This time they were sitting opposite each other, fingers still linked and shyly smiling at one another.

“Y-you said you c-cared about...me?” Frank said, breaking the blissful silence.

Gerard pondered denying for half a second before deciding it was useless to hide his feeling from Frank since it was blindingly obvious to anyone. No one, not even Donna, had seen Gerard smile as much as he did when Frank was around.

“Yes, I did,” he said, blushing faintly.

Frank nodded, “good,” he hummed and the peaceful silence resumed.

While no one talked verbally, they exchanged looks and glances, causing each other to grin and giggle.

“Gerard?” Frank said in a low voice.

“Frank?” Gerard responded, squeezing the other boy’s fingertips again.

“C-can I, uh, k-kiss you?”

“Wha-?“ Gerard managed before Frank’s chapped lips were pressed to Gerard’s.

It was clear that this was Frank’s first time he’d kissed anyone in a while as he seemed somewhat inexperienced, but Gerard didn’t hesitate in kissing back.

Gerard opened his legs allowing himself to wrap them around Frank’s back, pushing him forward, deepening the kiss. Frank unlocked his fingers from Gerard’s grasp and ran them through Gerard’s greasy, unkempt hair, pulling it a little causing Gerard to moan into Frank’s mouth.

Gerard moved his hands slowly up Frank arms, rubbing them in random places before holding his face gently.

Gerard couldn’t help but smile into the kiss. Barely half an hour ago, Frank wanted Gerard dead and now they were making out on his bedroom floor. If someone predicted his future and told him this would’ve happened, he would’ve laughed at them.

The two boys were so caught up in their kissing that they didn’t hear someone open the door.

“Gerard, mom wants to- oh,” Mikey’s surprised voice came from the door way as he saw Frank and Gerard tangled up together.

Gerard’s eyes sprung open in shock. “Mikey,” he basically squeaked. “Mikey...t-this...” Gerard stuttered, glancing at Frank awkwardly while trying to think of a reason why he was kissing his friend as passionately as he was. Mikey was used to see Gerard kiss Frank’s forehead, cheek and the top of his head, but this was a new level.

Mikey looked down at them both and smirked.

“ _Mikey_ ,” Gerard groaned, knowing exactly what was coming next.

“I knew it. Fucking knew it!” Mikey howled. “Mom owes me twenty dollars!” he laughed and ran upstairs.

Frank stared at the now empty doorway and then at Gerard, looking even paler than before.

“Well,” Gerard coughed. “I guess we won’t have to tell them.”

“I g-guess. B-but did your m-mom and Mikey p-put a _bet_ o-on us?” he cried out, half in embarrassment; half in disbelief.

“It really wouldn’t surprise me, Frankie,” Gerard said as he stood up, offering to help Frank up.

“D-don’t call me t-that,” Frank protested while blushing.

“What? Don’t you want me to call you ‘Frankie’? It’s cute,” he laughed, only coughing Frank to turn a deeper red.

Frank gave a resigned sigh and stood up, holding hands with Gerard once again.

“Come on, love. We should go and face them. It’s better sooner than later.” Gerard huffed, giving Frank a quick peck on the lips before they walked up the stairs, hand-in-hand.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter made me cry and I'm not sure why.  
> xo

“I’ll try and talk to him soon,” was the first thing the boys heard once they reached the top of the staircase, stopping them both in their tracks to eavesdrop. Clearly Donna was on the phone to someone as they didn’t hear a reply coming from the kitchen.

  
“I know. I’m not too clear on his situation,” she whispered into the phone, trying to make sure she wasn’t overheard. She became silent for a minute, probably listening to whoever was on the other end of the phone.

  
“No. No, I haven’t seen any bruising or marks on the boy, but then again, I haven’t looked. He is nearly seventeen and I personally don’t believe it would be…appropriate to ask since I’ve only known his for a short time. Maybe I could bring it up to my son because they’re very close…” she thought aloud.

With that response, it finally clicked with both Frank and Gerard. Gerard had heard his mother say he needed to call someone before he rushed down to see Frank.

Gerard quickly looked at Frank from the corner of his eye to see if he seemed distressed in anyway. Frank saw him looking at him and gave a weak smiling while gently squeezing his hand, indicating that he wasn’t too comfortable with the situation at hand, because someone else had just told another stranger how Frank’s parents were towards him. Frank left out a heavy sigh as they continued to listen in.

“I don’t know how long it’s been going on for. All I know is what my son told me and that’s all he told him. I do not want to pressure him to speak about it. Him telling my son was probably stressful enough for him. He could shut down if we all start to pester him about his past,” Donna spoke into the phone, evidently becoming more annoyed with the other person.

Gerard’s mom went quiet for a longer time now. Minutes, which felt years for the two boys who had now pressed themselves as close to the wall as possible, allowing them to hear every word, passed before she spoke again.

Eventually Donnas spoke again, “I can call the school and ask if they both have the next week off. When will someone be able to come and visit Frank? I want to get this sorted out as soon as possible, and preferable before Christmas.”

She hummed her responses and Gerard heard her grab her diary and pen from the kitchen work surface. “Tuesday, 2nd November? Sounds good. Thank you so much, Mrs Jones,” she said as she put the phone down.

“Pretend we didn’t hear a thing, okay?” Gerard whispered in Frank’s here who nodded quickly. “Also, I guess Mikey isn’t in here so we doesn’t know about…” he gestured between themselves, “should we tell her or keep it quiet? Though, she’ll find out sooner or later knowing about the bet they put on us,” he sighed.

“I, uh,” Frank stammered.

“We’ll wait then?” Gerard suggested and gently pulled his hand away from Frank; trying his best to overlook his obvious mood change. He lightly kissed the other boy’s cheek, making him smile again as they stepped into the other room.

“Hey,” Gerard said, greeting his mother.

“Oh, boys! I was just about to come and find you. Gerard, can you go and find your brother and tell him to actually start his homework? I’ve had another letter off his school saying that he’s underachieving in his core subjects and needs to put more work in.” Gerard knew it was just a decoy to get him out of the room so she could talk to Frank alone. Nevertheless, Gerard agreed and walked in the direction of his brother’s room; smiling slightly at Frank before he turned the corner.

Frank wasn’t stupid, he picked up on the reason why she wanted Gerard out of the room. He could tell by the atmosphere in the kitchen. On a normal day it would feel warm and welcoming, but that morning it felt sombre, solemn and pretty fucking serious.

He didn’t want to talk about it. He vowed never to tell a living soul as the thought of what could happen to him stuck fear right into his very being. He only confided in Gerard because he cracked. Gerard managed to make him open up. Perhaps it was the kind words, hugs and friendship that broke down the walls he had built. Maybe it was the way Gerard was and how he’d never judge him for not telling anyone sooner? Frank wasn’t sure, but whatever had happened then had consequently brought more and more people into his dilemma.

He’d managed to keep it to himself to years without anyone expecting a thing. He knew he shouldn’t have been so proud about this, but keeping it under wraps and off the radar made him feel like he was good at something albeit lying, but it made him as happy as it could. To add onto this, no one would imagine the kid from next-door, the shy, quiet boy from the back of the English class would be abused by the people who were meant to care for him the most. He just didn’t seem like a victim to the world.

Besides, who would believe him? There were no clear marking on him, nor broken bones, nothing obvious. People saw the Iero family as a nice, friendly, Christian household. Both of his parents were respected highly in their church because both did endless charity work and fundraisers. They seemed like an ideal family to a passer-by, why should he bother getting himself in more shit?

“Frank, are you there?” Donna said, waving her hand in front of his face, snapping Frank out of his thoughts.

“O-oh, yeah. S-sorry.”

Donna sighed heavily and smiled sadly at Frank, motioning towards to chairs. “Come and sit with me?”

As hard as he tried, he couldn’t get his voice to come out, he felt like he was choking on the air around him. Frank knew this was the start of a panic attack. No matter what he did the shortness of breath, heart palpitations, chest pain and trembling still happened. He didn’t want to panic in front of Gerard’s mom; he wanted to show her that he didn’t feel like this at the prospect of having to talk about what happened.

Closing his eyes, he tried to recall what Gerard had told him. _Just breathe. In through your nose, out through your mouth_.

Donna called for him again and patted the seat opposite her. Frank nodded and took a seat, still mumbling the line Gerard told him.

“Listen to me, Frank. This is very, very important. You have to tell me the truth. No one will judge you, say you’re lying or making anything up. Understand?” she said seriously.

“I u-understand,” he replied, lowering his head.

“How long has it been going on, darling? When did they start hurting you – physically or emotionally?”

He couldn’t pinpoint an exact time or age when his parents had turned on him. He guessed it was when he was around thirteen. Like every young teenager he went through a rebellious phase – taking back to his parents, not completely concentrating in school. Little rebellious things, nothing too serious. However, his parents didn’t see it this way.

“W-when I was thirteen?” Frank shrugged.

“Are you sure?”

“Y-yes.”

“What did they do? Can you remember?” she asked bluntly.

“No,” Frank replied instantly. He was being truthful, he truly couldn’t remember.

“Okay, that’s fine,” Donna smiled at him. “Have they ever… hit you? Anything physical like that?” she questioned while leaning over, rubbing his upper arm to try and comfort him. “I know it’s hard to tell people, but it’s important we know.”

He shut his eyes again and took a deep breath. He remembered the times he was dragged around the house by his father, being yelled at and eventually kicked in the stomach. He usually got off lightly and that was it, but things we’re so much worse when his mother was out. His mother never protected him by trying to pull his father off him but he never went too far knowing that his wife could remove him from the house all together.

Thinking about it, both of his parents feared one another. They were never sure who would snap first. His mother never shouted at her husband, but she could give looks that could make boiling water freeze within second. His father, however, was aggressive. He took his rage out on Frank and anyone who crossed him. They were both as unpredictable, like bombs ready to go off.

Luckily for him, she hardly went out when his dad was home so the time they had alone together was limited, and those occurrences were few and far between. When they did happen they were hundreds of times worse. His dad always aimed for places he could cover – his arms, legs, stomach but never anywhere visible. His dad was aggressive but he wasn’t an idiot. The kicks seemed endless to a fifteen year old Frank, curled up on the floor of whichever room he happened to be in, covering his stomach and sobbing for him to stop. It didn’t take long for him to realise that begging for the older man to stop wouldn’t help anyone, in fact it did the exact opposite; it made him even more violent. Usually, if he stayed quiet his father would get bored and leave him alone. Usually…

He felt himself feel dizzy and faint suddenly. The breathing techniques weren’t helping anymore and Frank believed that nothing else would.

Before he knew it tears were pouring from his eyes. They came so quickly he couldn’t hide them from Donna.

“Fr-“ she started before Gerard walked in.

“Mikey said he was-“ Gerard stopped the moment he saw Frank’s tear stained cheek. He looked at his mother, who looked increasingly guilty, and back to his friend trying to piece together what he’d just walked into.

“Mom? What have you said to him?” He asked, walking towards Frank and wrapping a protective arm around him.

“I was just asking him a few questions, Gerard,” she replied coldly.

“Asking questions about- _oh_. Mom!” Gerard yelled at his mother. He knew he shouldn’t, he did respect his mother a lot but sometimes that respect was lost.

“We need to know, Ger-“

“Not now. I told you. It’s too soon. What the fuck, mom?!”

“Language,” she warned.

“No. I don’t give a _shit_ right now,” he shouted, staring his mother straight in the eyes.

“Listen-“

“No. We’re going, come on Frank,” he said, holding a hand out to the crying boy. Frank quickly took Gerard’s hand and allowed to be lead down to Gerard’s room.

“We’re going to have to talk about it one day, you know?” Donna called after them.

“I don’t care,” Gerard shouted back as he angrily kicked his door open.

The moment the door was open, Frank collapsed down on the nearest bed. He didn’t care whose bed it was. It was a bed covered in blankets and that’s all that mattered to him then.

He felt a dip in the mattress when Gerard sat next to him. Subconsciously, Frank sat up and clung onto Gerard. He knew that Gerard would comfort him. He knew that Gerard knew the right words to say and when to stay silent. Gerard just knew and Frank loved it.

Gerard started to stroke Frank’s hair as the younger boy cried into his t-shirt, grabbing bunches of it like a baby would do.

“Shhh, Frank,” Gerard hushed him, “what happened there? What did my mom make you say?”

Frank shook his head and let out a heart wrenching cry. “I-I don’t w-want to talk a-about it,” he spoke into Gerard’s chest.

“It’s okay,” he replied, kissing the top of his head like he always used to. Gerard could feel Frank’s uneven breaths on his chest as well as his heart racing. “Frank, you’re having another panic attack. Do you-?”

“Y-yes, yes, in th-through my n-nose, o-out through m-my mouth. I haven’t for-forgotten.”

“Good,” he praised. “Do it for me, Frankie? Please?”

Frank blushed at the pet name but agreed and tried to calm his breathing and steady is heart rate.

Gerard started to absentmindedly play with Frank’s hair. He got a few strands and wove them between his fingers gently. Gerard thought it would calm him because he knew everyone liked getting their hair played with, so in theory, it should help Frank.

They sat together, neither of them speaking while Frank focussed on his breathing. Frank could feel himself becoming calmer. Gerard felt like a beacon of tranquillity to Frank. Whenever he felt panicked, Gerard would help him no matter how many times it had happened. He never became irritated with them, he just helped and never asked about them if Frank didn’t want to talk about it.

“Frank?” Gerard said in a low voice, blinking down at him in the dark.

“Y-yeah?”

“Are you feeling any better? Do you need any water? Anything?”

Frank had to stop himself saying ‘you’, because one, it’s cheesy as fuck and two, because he didn’t want to see clingy. He wasn’t sure what they were, all he knew was that they were certainly more than ‘just friends.’

“I’m f-fine, thank y-you, Gee,” he whispered in a voice ruined from crying and sighed..

Frank was in such a sorry state. He’d just spent however long crying into another person’s shirt after being asked a few questions about his parents. Important questions at that.

“I’m s-so pathetic,” Frank said under his breath thinking that Gerard couldn’t hear him wallow in self-pity.

Gerard’s body stiffened when he overheard Frank’s small confession. It was said so quietly that Gerard was certain that he wasn’t meant to have heard it. Instead of speaking, he held Frank closer to his body, trying to hug the bad thoughts away from his deepest thoughts.

Frank responded to the embrace by cuddling into Gerard’s chest and trying to curl up next to him.

The sun was still high in the sky meaning it was around midday. Even though it was still the middle of the day it felt like it would never be over.

“We need to sleep,” Gerard spoke and Frank let out a little groan.

“It’s n-not two in the a-afternoon, Gerard? W-what are y-you on about?”

“You need to sleep. Sleeping makes things slightly better. It may be early but you’ve had a tough morning.”

“No-“ Frank started to complain.

“I’ll sing to you if you sleep?” Gerard proposed.

Frank was eager to heard Gerard sing properly and not scream lyrics like they did for fun. And Gerard was right, he did need to sleep things off. A nap had never harmed anyone.

“F-fine, b-but I’m staying i-in your bed. C-comfy,” he agreed as he nestled down in the blankets. “W-what will you s-sing to m-me?” he asked, looking up at Gerard through his hair that had fallen in front of his eyes. Gerard had to confess that it was the most adorable thing he’d seen.

“I’ll think of something. Close your eyes.”

“Hmm. K-kiss me?” Frank asked, fluttering his eyelashes making Gerard laugh.

“Sure,” he said as he leaned down to kiss Frank quickly on the lips. “Happy?”

“Yeah,” Frank said with a smile on his face. “S-sing?”

Gerard took a short breath before quietly singing to him, ”You say you never wanna be saved. Well that's okay cause I wouldn't know how. Just know that the best that I'll ever be is whatever you make me and wherever you are. You're on my mind..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's also on [Wattpad ](http://www.wattpad.com/story/35371003-early-sunsets-frerard)if it's easier for some people. There could be some tiny, tiny differences between here and there because I add/remove words sometimes. However, the plot will be exactly the same so!   
> As always, feel free to comments because I genuinely want to see what people think of this, and add kudos if you want.  
> Thanks for reading! xo


	12. Chaper 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I split these chapters into little bits because then I could update today. The other bit will probably be up on Sunday. Sorry it's really short! xo

Almost an hour had passed since the incident with Frank and Gerard. She waited up in the kitchen, racking her brain about how she could ask him what had happened without interrogating him. She knew there was a very fine line between them both and had to get it right.

It was clear that her first attempt had been too straight to the point and very blunt, which didn’t get her anywhere. She knew this would happen as Gerard had hinted it to her multiple times beforehand. Donna just wanted to understand the basics of Frank’s prior abuse and neglect because the social worker came and asked him identical questions.

“I should probably tell him about her coming to visit him,” she thought out loud, walking slowly towards the stairs.

Donna noticed that the door was slightly ajar. Nine out of ten times, Gerard’s bedroom door was shut. He kept it as his safe place – a place he could relax in without being harassed by his family, especially Mikey. He’d never let anyone in willingly expect Frank. Except Frank...

She walked down a few steps and heard a single voice coming from the room opposite her. At first she thought Gerard was speaking to Frank but the longer she listened the quicker this idea went from her head. Within seconds, she knew he was singing.

Against her better judgment, she sat on the second step down and listened in.

“You're on my mind. And the things that you say hurt me most of the time, but I'm on your side, ‘cause I know I'm not easy to deal with sometimes...” Gerard sung under his breath. Donna could tell he was suppressing tears. Her mothering instincts kicked in, telling her to rush in and comfort her child but she knew if she did that I would be obvious that she was listening into this personal moment between the two boys.

She heard Gerard take in a shaky break and continue to sing even quieter than before, making it harder for Donna to hear him sing the heart wrenching lyrics. “But once in a while I wish you would tell me if you even care, ‘cause I'm sinking fast, I'm sinking fast.”

Donna decided that eavesdropping anymore would only make the situation worse. She knew about Gerard depression, everyone in the family did, you couldn’t ignore it. She thought he was improving if not getting better. The art therapy had helped him greatly, restoring that sparkle in his hazel eyes which he lost. Donna shook her head, trying to remove the thoughts from the past from her head and quietly made her way back up stairs.

The lyrics were getting harder for Gerard to sing. He felt like he was opening up too quickly to Frank and it scared him. He shut himself away from his family, refusing their help and support. Deep down, Gerard knew it was a bad idea then but something inside him to him to keep it to himself and that he would eventually get better. He’d heard the phrase ‘there’s always a rainbow after a storm’ and various other cliché term for how much better life would be once he past the...rough spot.

He sighed heavily and tried to regain his posture before choking out, “I need you to know that I'm alright,” covering his face, feeling the tears start to sting in his eyes.

He was almost certain that Frank was fast asleep as he didn’t have the most sleep before. He didn’t want him to wake up and him like this. Gerard was meant to be the strong one, supporting Frank, not on crying next to him into the palm of his hands. Instead, he felt like he was suffocating.

He tried to keep the shaking to a minimal because Frank was peacefully sleeping on his chest. Seeing his friend crying hopelessly wouldn’t help Frank. The thought of Frank having more to deal with or to feel guilty about would kill Gerard, he didn’t want to cause this.

“Toughen up, Gerard,” he scolded himself under his breath, shaking his head while trying to get his back to normal.

He looked down at Frank - who was luckily still oblivious to his shaking. Gerard hadn’t seen anyone look so perfect and angelic while resting. Frank’s eyes were closed while his eyelashes gently caressed the bottom of his eyelids. His mouth was slightly open, as he breathed steadily letting out small snores and grunts in his sleep.

Watching Frank sleep helped Gerard focus on the present. Frank reminded him that he wasn’t fifteen anymore and that he was no longer that severely depressed teenager. He now saw himself with a future, ambitions, and a goal in life. The realization made the air rush back into his lungs, killing off the choking feeling.

He kissed the top of Frank’s head and felt him snuggle into his chest and smile. Frank warm breath on his skin kept Gerard anchored to earth, not allowing him to drift off into his thoughts.

Gerard considered sleeping as well, but moving without waking Frank would have been next to impossible. Plus, it was just approaching half past two in the afternoon, meaning he would have to wake Frank eventually.

Gerard’s phone lit up, eliminating the corner of the bedside table. He shielded his eyes from the bright light and looked down at the text he had received.

“Tell me when its ok for me to come down x” followed shortly by “when is franks birthday? x” Both messages were off his mom.

His eyes quickly wondered to the calendar app on his phone and gasped when he saw that date. It was Saturday 30th October and Frank’s birthday was tomorrow.

Gerard opened the messages and typed, “we’ll come up and its tomorrow,” before pressing send, hoping that he could distract Frank long enough for him to buy or make him a present.

They’d only known each other barely a month so Gerard was unsure about what he wanted. Gerard had heard him mention his love for dogs numerous times as well as punk bands and, surprisingly, skeletons.

Gerard wanted his birthday to be a good one – one he deserved. He’d mentioned that no one made an effort for his last sixteen birthdays; Gerard wanted to change this. He wanted to give him a memorable birthday and make his seventeenth birthday the equivalent to his sweet sixteen, if not better. To Gerard’s knowledge, Frank didn’t have many friends. He mentioned Ray once or twice but he was visiting family in another state as he usually did on every break. The guest list for Frank’s birthday would probably just consist of himself, Gerard, Mikey and Donna but that was okay. A small crowd of people he knew would make it less stressful for him, reducing the risk of any panic attacks.

Gerard was too busy planning Frank’s birthday to notice that the younger boy had curled up, facing the wall, allowing Gerard to move again.

Seizing the opportunity to move, he stood up and grabbed his money from the desk. He opened his door as quietly as possible before climbing the stairs.

“Oh, Gerard, I wanted- where are you going?” his mother asked, eyeing the money in his hand. “You better not be running away,” she laughed.

“No, ma’. I’m getting Frank his present. I think I know what he likes and since he’s still asleep I could get it without him knowing.” He blabbed before walking towards the front door.

“And if he wakes up and asks me where you are?” she questioned, raising an eyebrow.

“Tell him I’m in the bath or something, I don’t care. Just don’t tell him where I’ve gone. I want it to be a surprise.”

“What if-“

“Bye, Mom. Love you,” Gerard shouted as he ran out of the house, heading towards the closest shop.


	13. Chapter 13

Gerard didn’t stop running until he reached the store. He barged through the doors, causing a few customers to gasp in surprise at his urgency. A member of staff looked up from the celebrity orientated magazine they were flicking through with a bemused expression on their face, catching Gerard’s eye.

“You look like you’re on the run, kid,” the employee laughed. “What did you do? Kill a man?” they laughed again.

“N-no?” Gerard coughed, trying to catch his breath. He’d never been amazing at running, or any sport come to think of it, and it showed.

They raised one eyebrow and snorted, “whatever,” before going back to half-reading their magazine behind the counter.

Gerard rolled his eyes discreetly before walking further into the store. It wasn’t a big store but it had the essentials and other small items. He strolled past the canned food; pastas and other convince food until he reached the back of the building. This was where they kept the other products. They weren’t on many peoples’ lists so putting them right at the rare of the store made sense.

He looked up at the shelves which were precariously stacked. Boxes were stack on one another; packets were place haphazardly over the surfaces. It was amazing that they didn’t fall down on unsuspecting people as they walked by. Heavy boxes falling on someone wasn’t a problem as hardly anyone went this far into the store so the staff didn’t bother keeping it tidy. If the front was presentable, nothing else mattered in their view.

Nothing caught Gerard’s attention as he picked up different DVDs and old video tapes from the reduced bin. They were all old, unsurprisingly, and outdated. Nothing instantly made him think of Frank. He sighed. He really wanted to make this birthday special for him in a small attempt to make up for the others. Frank would be over the moon with anything he got, Gerard knew that, but he didn’t want to get him an ancient version of some low-budget, knockoff version of _Jaws_ or _Jurassic Park_.

Gerard rubbed his temple and moved his search to the piles of clothes stacked in another clearance bin. Even though they were in clearance, they were more often than not really good quality. As Frank’s birthday was on Halloween they had the last minute Halloween accessories there. Gerard didn’t fancy buying Frank a plastic zombie mask or Halloween themed chocolates, but he was definitely in search for.

He dug through the broken and unsold Halloween costumes, throwing them to the side in his search. He picked up a pink, glittery vampire costume for a six to seven year old girl. The thought of giving it to Frank made me laugh to himself while he kept looking through the bin. Underneath the costume he saw a pair of seemingly plain, black fingerless gloves. He reached deeper down into the bin to grab them. He held them in the palm of his hand and turned them over, inspecting the other side. Gerard looked down and them and smiled. On the top side of the gloves there was a basic skeleton pattern, showing the basic bones of the hands up the middle of each finger. They were simple, nothing too extravagant, over the top or gory. Frank could wear them on a day to day basis without getting strange looks of passing strangers. They were perfect.

Gerard kept the gloves in his hands, gripping them tightly and wondered around the offers. $1.99 pair of gloves wouldn’t cut it. He continued idly walking towards the middle section of the store before he reached his favorite part – the art section. The range they had hasn’t extensive but there was the basics; ink pens, pencils, some cheap paints and sketchbooks. Gerard used to go there a lot when he ran out of supplies late in the evening and couldn’t wait until the following day to go into town to get more. He knew this part of the store like the back of his hand. The familiarity was welcoming to him; it almost felt like his second home.

While Gerard was trying to compress a small smile as he remembered the summer nights where he used to stay up until four or five in the morning drawing stupid little comic strips for Mikey about slightly humorous superheroes fighting off equally as funny super villains, an idea struck him. He knew Frank loved animals, dogs in particular, and drawing him a picture of one would be free and more personal than anything he could purchase. Gerard could get the drawing done in the time Frank was asleep before his birthday. Gerard grinned widely and walked towards the counter.

In the time he’d been looking at potential gifts for Frank, he had completely forgotten about the slightly rude employee at the register.

Gerard cleared his throat to get the person’s attention who was still reading the same magazine.

“You’re back? Didn’t get caught by the cops, I see,” he laughed. The employee wasn’t that much older than Gerard. He looked around twenty and the way he acted in work definitely showed a lack of maturity. He was slumped in his seat, legs resting on the countertop. His face was average, overall. He had dark brown hair and some strands curled around his strong jaw line while the remaining hair rested gently around the base of his neck. He wasn’t anything extraordinary but Gerard couldn’t deny that he certainly wasn’t ugly. The cashier’s eyes were the feature that made Gerard look at the young man in front of him. They were piercingly bright blue but gleamed in the mid-afternoon light coming in from the large display windows at the front of the shop, balancing out the icy glare he was now giving Gerard.

“Hello?” the man said as he clicked his fingers in front of Gerard’s face. “Earth to kid?”

Gerard jumped back in shock, blushing deeply. “Oh. Sorry...” he spoke, placing his items next to the register quickly.

The other person hummed and scanned his one item, reciting the price that had come up on the screen. “Only spending $1.99? You spent a long time back there. What were you doing?” he asked, raising his eyebrow again.

“Looking at things,” Gerard answered bluntly while handing over two dollars and grabbing the gloves. “You can keep the change,” he called back as he walked out of the store, earning a small huff from the employee.

***

Once he was home, Gerard pushed open the front door and walked into the hall, dropping off his wallet and keys on the small table next to the door. He continued to walk towards the kitchen until he was stopped dead in his tracks just outside the kitchen. He pressed himself as close as he could to the wall, trying to hear as much of the conversation between his mom and who he presumed was Frank due to the minor stutter.

“He’ll be back soon. He just went out to get some things,” Donna soothed Frank. “He hasn’t left. You know that, Frank.”

“B-but...” Frank spluttered before sniffing loudly.

 _Oh,_ Gerard thought to himself. Perhaps he should’ve left a note before he left. He really didn’t expect to be out so long and that Frank would have still been asleep by the time he came back.

“I just heard the door open. That’s probably him. _Please_ stop crying,” she begged. His mom had always been a good mother to Gerard and his brother but she had lost her natural instinct to stop someone from crying hopelessly, especially for someone who was in their latter teenage years. She couldn’t pick him up and cradle Frank like you would do to a baby or small child, it just wouldn’t work. Also, they hadn’t known each other for a long time, making it inappropriate.

“Frank,” Donna sighed. “He really hasn’t abandoned us. And if he did-“

Frank audibly gasped and Gerard heard him cover his mouth.

“Hypothetically, Frank. _If_ he did leave, he would have packed his things. You didn’t see anything missing, did you?” she said, trying her hardest to keep a friendly tone of voice.

A few seconds of silence followed her question where Gerard guessed that Frank had either nodded or shook his head.

“See, I told you. He isn’t going anywhere. He just went to the store a few blocks down to pick some things up and didn’t want to wake you up.”

Gerard thought it was best if he went into the kitchen to try and comfort him. It was worrying that Frank had become so dependent of Frank, though it wasn’t in a controlling way. Frank was in a new home, a new environment and with people he barely knew. Naturally he would feel uneasy there.

“He’ll be home-“ Donna started again in hope that her words would reach Frank as Gerard walked around the corner.

“Look, there he is. Why were you so worried?” Donna asked Frank while rubbing little circles on his back between his shoulder blades.

Frank’s eyes snapped up, looking at Gerard. His eyes were puffy and red, a clear sign that he had probably been crying for a while.

“Hi, honey,” his mom greeted him.

“Hi mom...?” Gerard said looking at her trying to determine what had caused Frank’s distress. His mother looked at Frank and shrugged in response.

Gerard slowly walked towards Frank and kneed down in front of him so they were both eyelevel with one another.

Donna sensed it was her time to leave and silently walked out of the kitchen to speak to Mikey, leaving the two boys alone.

“Frank, what’s up? Why are you-?” Gerard managed to ask before Frank threw himself onto the older boy in a tight embrace. The sudden display of affection caught Gerard off guard, causing him to lose his balance and fall backwards onto the hard wood floor beneath him, but this was before Frank managed to wrap his legs around Gerard’s waist before he hit the floor.

Gerard felt all the breath leave his lungs as he collided with the floor.

“Fuck, Frank,” Gerard whined as he tried to rub his head where it had hit the floor, but it didn’t prove successful with someone else attached onto him.

“M-missed you,” Frank murmured into Gerard’s chest.

“I missed you too but I was only gone for an hour and you were asleep for a lot of that,” he replied irritably.

“B-but I w-woke up an-and you weren’t t-there,” Frank whispered and started to cry again.

“I know. I’m sorry, baby, I am. I should have left a note. I didn’t think I would be out that long. Stop crying? I’m here now. I wasn’t in any danger. I just went to get something,” he hushed him, kissing his head gently.

Frank looked up at Gerard, resting his chin on the other boy’s chest. “W-what did y-you get?” Frank hiccupped.

“Just...things,” Gerard said vaguely. He quickly looked behind him seeing the gloves in the far corner of the room. He didn’t have time to hide them, like he planned. Hopefully Frank wouldn’t notice them before he hid his gift.

“Like what?” Frank pressed.

“It’s not important.”

“But-“

“But nothing,” Gerard laughed and kissed Frank’s lips quickly finally making him stop looking so sad. “Come on, I think my mom needs to use the kitchen,” he said while rolling over, making Frank fall softly onto the ground.

“I d-don’t wanna m-move,” Frank complained.

Gerard gave out an exasperated sigh before picking up Frank. In response, Frank squeaked making Gerard chuckle at him.

“Did you just _squeak_?” Gerard teased him.

“No,” Frank said shyly.

“Whatever, it was cute.”

“I’m n-not-“

“You are.”

“A-am not,” Frank argued.

“Frank,” Gerard said in a mock threatening voice. “I’ll never put you down if you don’t just shut up and agree with me.”

Gerard’s ‘threat’ didn’t concern Frank. If he was honest, saying in Gerard’s arms would be anything but a punishment. He felt safe being so close to someone without the constant fear of rejection. However, Frank just shook his head and let out an airy laugh.

“You go downstairs first and pick a film while I make some snacks,” Gerard said as he put Frank back down.

Frank eagerly agreed before making his way out of the kitchen and down the flight of stairs towards their room.

Gerard was in the process of putting snacks into a large bowl when he heard someone else come into the room. He fully expected it to be Frank waiting for him but was surprised when he turned to face his mother.

Donna managed to hide her emotions well nine out of ten times, but this time was different. Worry was written all over her face, confusing and also worrying Gerard simultaneously.

“Can I speak to you about someone?” she asked.

“About Frank?” he asked.

“No, not Frank. I want to talk to you about Obama and his life after being the president. What will he do? Will he have a normal job?” she said, trying to keep a serious tone. “Yes. I want to talk about Frank. You seem to know him better than I, or anyone for that matter, does.”

“Can this wait? I told him I’d be down in a minute.”

“I’ll be quick. It’s about his birthday.”

Gerard sighed. “Fine. What do you want to know?”

“What’s his favorite cake? I have plans,” she smiled before she took out a pen and small notepad.

***

His mom made him talk for longer than he first thought. The conversation went from Frank’s favorite flavor of cake to color. Gerard tried to answer the best he could but they hadn’t been through the small talk phase of their relationship, they’d completely skipped it.

It hit Gerard that maybe they didn’t know each other as well as they thought.

Gerard gently tapped the door, signaling that he was coming in. When he pushed the door open he saw Frank hadn’t only chosen a film to watch, he’d built some kind of pillow and blanket fort with the ones they had in the room.

Gerard was stunned. He’d never have thought of making one but it made his room look hundreds of times more inviting.

He walked in slowly, trying to avoid knocking over Frank’s creation.

He saw Frank sitting cross legged in the center of the pillows and blankets staring into the middle-distance.

Gerard let a small smile come onto his lips before sitting down next to Frank, copying his sitting position and put the snacks on the floor in front of them.

“Hey,” Gerard greeted him, placing a kiss on his cheek.

“H-hey, Gee,” Frank said, resting his head on Gerard’s shoulder, letting Gerard play with his hair.

“I like what you made here. It’s so nice. I didn’t think we had this many blankets in the house never mind our room,” he laughed.

“T-thanks,” Frank beamed. “It d-didn’t take t-too long. I p-put a movie o-on, you j-just need to p-press play.”

Gerard nodded before pressing ‘play’.

***

Half way through the film, Frank had drifted off to sleep again. Frank’s head a slipped off Gerard’s shoulder and had landed in his crotch. Gerard was fine with Frank peacefully sleep on him until the film had ended but once the credits had rolled, Gerard found himself becoming increasingly bored and uncomfortable. Frank’s head had successfully managed to block blood from getting to the lower half of his body, making his legs feel tingly and ever so slightly painful.

Gerard gently carefully cupped Frank’s head, moving him to rest his head on a pillow. Frank let out a content sigh before snuggling into the pillow beneath him.

Frank was so sweet and innocent when he slept. His entire body relaxed and all the pervious anxieties of the day were washed away from him.

Gerard smiled down at Frank, realized that it could come across as strange if he ever realized how often he watched him sleep.

Gerard stood up and made his way towards his sketchbook and art supplies. Since Frank was asleep, it was a perfect opportunity to start drawing his picture. It wasn’t too late either, meaning there still was plenty of time to produce something worthy of giving to someone.

Gerard had already had some ideas which revolved around a small do, maybe a pug, dressed up in a Halloween costume. It was something cute and nothing bloody which involved death. Hopefully, there was nothing that could possible upset Frank in it. Gerard couldn’t ruin Frank’s birthday by including zombie styled dogs which he had first planned to do. Keeping it family friendly would avoid all the potential triggers for Frank.

Gerard looked back at him, ensuring that he was sound asleep before he sat down at his desk and started to sketch out a rough outline.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Birthday chapter next? Probably more of Mikey too because I feel like I've left him out here a lot (sorry).  
> xo
> 
> Next update will either be on Saturday or Sunday.


	14. Chapter 14

Gerard was good at staying up all night. Years of honing his insomniac tendencies had finally come in useful like he knew they would. On top of his rather specific talent, his house was always stocked with various caffeinated drinks that he could have to keep his energy up, even though he knew the crash he’d have later on that day would hit him like a tidal wave. He convinced himself that drawing something for Frank’s seventeenth was more important than sleep - sleep could happen whenever, Frank only had one birthday a year.

Gerard finished the quick sketch in under an hour while checking behind him to make sure Frank was still fast asleep. Luckily, every time he turned around, Frank was still peacefully snoring and mouth open a little. Gerard swore he saw Frank smile every once in a while when he was in his unconscious state.

He’d decided he’d draw a pug for him. They were a simple shape and consisted mainly of curves – nothing too hard to do while in semi-darkness. As well as being pretty easy to draw pugs had always been the cutest in Gerard’s opinion. There was something endearing and comical about the squashed up faces that made him think of them running into a wall, face first which never failed to make Gerard chuckle.

Frank rolled over onto a cold spot of the bed where he expected Gerard to be. He opened his eyes, rubbing them slightly to get rid of his sleep clouded vision. He groaned when he saw Gerard hunched over his desk, scribbling almost frantically.

“W-what are you d-doing?” Frank whispered, putting his legs over the side of the bed. He stood up, grabbing two blankets as he walked, wrapping one around his shoulders. He tip-toed towards Gerard and draped the over blanket over the boy, guessing he would be cold, too.

Gerard jumped at Frank’s touch, quickly covering the half finished drawing. “Frank,” Gerard exhaled and tried to get his heart rate to lower, “you gave me a shock. And I’m not doing anything. Why are you awake? It’s around four in the morning.” He said as he peered at the little clock sitting in the far right corner of his desk.

“I c-could ask you t-the same question,” Frank said, raising an eyebrow. “W-why are _y-you_ awake?”

“You can’t reply to my question with another question.”

“You d-did to me.”

“Touché.”

“Why are y-you-,” Frank started to ask as he looked down at what Gerard was trying to cover, “what’s t-that?” he said, pointing down at the sheet of paper.

“That? Oh, it’s nothing. I’m just drawing. I couldn’t sleep,” Gerard blabbed and turned away from Frank, hoping he couldn’t see how blatantly obvious his lie was.

Frank didn’t press the subject anymore and resorted to rolling his eyes at the back of Gerard’s head before walking back to the bed. “H-hurry up then. I’m t-tired and l-lonely,” he whined.

Gerard smiled to himself. “I’ll be there soon, baby,” he replied.

Frank hummed and curled back up into bed. He didn’t realise how tired he was. It was still early – too early for him, and the moment his head hit the pillow his eyelids became heavier. “M-miss you,” he whispered into the darkness.

“I’m just here,” Gerard laughed softly.

“You k-know what I m-mean, asshole.”

“I’ll be there soon. I guarantee I’ll be there when you wake up again,” Gerard whispered as he started to draw again.

“Promise?” Frank yawned.

“Yes, I promise. Oh, and Frank?”

“Hm?” Frank responded.

“Happy birthday,” Gerard half sung to Frank.

Frank blushed and groaned, throwing a pillow at Gerard’s back before turning over and drifting off to sleep with a smile on his face.

Gerard waited for Frank’s quiet snores to come back before he continued to sketch again. He’d hoped to finish it by 6AM at the very latest, allowing himself a few hours of sleep before he was inevitably woken up by Frank or his mother.

***

Gerard wasn’t sure when he had finished Frank’s drawing but the sun was rising, casting a pink/orange hue into the basement room. He estimated that it had to be around six, if not later. He cracked his fingers, removed the knot from his neck and stretching. He hid the drawing under a pile of random papers before wrapping the blanket Frank had previously put on him around his shoulders and made his way to the bed in the furthest side of the room.

Frank was sleeping soundly on the side closest to the wall. He’d pressed himself close to it, allowing Gerard enough space to lay down next to him.

Gerard sat on the edge of the bed, undoing his belt and pulling down his jeans. He leaned over a bit, looking under the space of his bed in search of some pyjama bottom, not caring if they were clean or not.

He reached under the bed, moving the mound of blankets and grabbed a pair of grey sweatpants from the floor before quickly slipping them on. He chose to sleep with his shirt on due to how old his room had become over the passing hours and also because he couldn’t muster up the energy to remove it.

Half asleep, Frank sensed the dip in the bed when Gerard lay next to him. He rolled over and limply placed his arms over the other boy’s waist, holing him near and buried his face into the back of his neck while gently nuzzling him. He heard Gerard give out a content sigh before moving his body backwards to gain as much physical contact as possible.

Gerard felt Frank’s hot breath hit the back of his neck every time be breathed out. Though at first it felt uncomfortable because the extra heat in one isolated area made his skin crawl, he quickly became accustomed to the sensation. Soon enough, the feeling started to feel relaxing, as if it was lulling him into a deep sleep.

“I love you,” Gerard whispered in a barely audible voice before falling sound asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another filler chapter. However, it's before the weekend and if I did the chapter I intended to do all in one, it would've been too long and kind of messy. Plus, this came to a natural end.
> 
> Next update will definitely be Saturday or Sunday depending on how much revision I want/need to get done.  
> xo


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a lot longer than expected so I've split it into two (again, sorry)  
> xo
> 
> PS: Mikey's mentioned in here. He's still very much part of this fic.

A breeze hit Frank’s face, startling him awake. He slowly opened his eyes to see what caused the cool air flooding in the room. At first he presumed Gerard had opened the small window a bit as it regularly got too warm in his room, but to his surprise the window was closed and it wasn’t Gerard’s room.

He looked around the room and tried to come to terms as to exactly where he was. The room around his must’ve been some attempt at a bedroom. He was laying on a single bed with an old blanket wrapped around his waist and a rather flat pillow under his head. He could distinctly feel the springs of the mattress poking through, suggesting it must have been at least ten years old.

Frank’s eyes focused more as they became accustomed to the sunlight streaming into the small, square room. It looked familiar to him but he couldn’t put his finger on why he remembered it.

He stayed in the bed, becoming increasingly more confused about his new environment. He didn’t go out before and get drunk, so this wasn’t some person’s house he’d slept with before.

Frank propped himself on his elbows and rested his back against the headboard, rubbing his eyes. He didn’t know where he was but he felt like he’d been there before a lot.

And then it hit him.

He was in _his_ room in his parents’ house.

His eye widened in panic as his breathing started to become shallower and his vision was being blurred by tears welling up in his eyes.

Donna wouldn’t have taken him back to his parents? Would she? Maybe Frank had done something to offend her? Perhaps the random periods of crying or spending too much time with Gerard and not Mikey? A million and one situations flooded Frank’s mind, only adding to his panic.

He stayed quiet, though. If he stayed silent he could sneak out and go back to Gerard’s house. He knew he was safe there.

He gripped the old blanket and covered his face, trying to control his breathing. He breathed slowly, allowing air to get into his lungs, lessening the tightening sensation which was quickly forming in his chest.

The overwhelming musky smell coming from the blanket made Frank gag and then splutter loudly.

“F-fuck,” he swore under his breath, covering his face in the limp pillow to try and stifle the sound.

When Frank’s coughing had calmed down, he heard someone climbing the staircase. The sounds they made while going up them gave him the impression that they were trying to be quiet enough not to wake him. When he first heard someone walking, his first impression was that there was only one person but this theory soon died as he heard both a male and female voice arguing.

“You go and wake _it_ up,” the male voice said in a hushed shout. The way which the man spoke sent fear down Frank’s spine. He could almost feel the hate and anger dripping from it, which was probably due to him.

“Fine,” the woman sighed before pushing open the door, allowing it to hit the wall behind it with a loud bang. “Up,” the woman spoke in a stern voice.

Frank didn’t say a word. His whole body was paralysed with terror. If he’d thought that the man sounded angry, it was nothing compared to the woman who’d just stormed into his room.

“Don’t ignore me, Frank,” she said, her voice increasing. “If I have to get your father to come in here to get you up, God save you,” she threatened.

It finally clicked that the people who were in his house were his _parents_ and that the person shouting at him was his mother.

Frank opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out, all he could do was look at the woman – his mother – and try not to cry in front of her.

“Well?” she asked, tapping her foot impatiently on the floor.

He continued to remain speechless, gasping hopelessly at his mother who was becoming more and more enraged the longer he stayed quiet.

She sighed angrily and turned around, her back turned to Frank. She stepped out of Frank’s room in search of her husband. “I warned you, Frank. I’ll go and-“

“No!” Frank shrieked as he regained control of his vocal chords.

His mother spun around, glaring down at his – rage burning in her eyes. “’No’ what?” she growled.

“No, m-mother,” he said in a half cry. “I’m s-sorry, I wasn’t ignoring y-you. D-don’t…don’t get h-him. I’m sorry,” he sobbed, unwrapping himself from the blanket and standing up.

“Stop crying like a fucking baby. You’re seventeen not seven,” his mother scolded him.

Frank paused, looking at his mother with a confused look on his face. “I’m six-sixteen…” he murmured, hoping his mother wouldn’t catch him talking back.

His mother laughed at him while shaking her head. “You don’t know the date, do you? It’s October 31st also known as the day you were forced upon us.”

It was true, Frank didn’t know what date it was, he hadn’t known for weeks. While they were in school, they followed a strict routine, so every weekday was the same. Once he fell into the same, boring pattern, knowing the date become useless to him. If he knew the difference between the weekdays and weekends, the specific day didn’t matter.

Frank ducked his head and gazed down at his feet while trying to come up with a good way to explain himself.

His mother gave out a deliberate cough, making Frank look at her. In her hand, she held a single envelope with ‘Frank’ written across the top in messy handwriting.

“Here,” she said, thrusting it towards him. “Happy birthday, son,” she spat before quickly leaving the room.

Frank turned the envelope over in his hands a few times, trying to think about what he was about to open. His parents obviously didn’t care about him because if they did, they would have repaired the broken window or replaced the mattress or washed his blankets. If they didn’t care, why did they gave him a card to show that they remembered the day his was ‘forced upon’ them?

He wiped his eyes, removing the now dried tears from around them before cautiously opening the letter.

Inside there was a generic birthday card. Big, bold letters saying ‘happy birthday’ covered the plain white card with a few cartoon-styled balloons in the right-hand corner. If Frank was honest, it was probably aimed for children under the age of ten years old, but he wouldn’t complain, at least it was something.

A small smiled spread across Frank’s lips as he opened the card to read the message inside. He was half expecting another generic message written in it, but to his surprise, there was a lengthy message scribbled there instead, covering both side of the card.

He walked back to his bed, sitting cross legged before starting to read the letter.

As he quickly read what was written, his smile slowly deteriorated. The writing, though untidy, seemed to look very feminine and curved, suggesting that Frank’s mother had written it.

The message explicitly highlighted how ‘worthless’ he was as well as that he was a mistake. The two sides letter was just a stream of insults, all aimed at Frank. They criticised his speak, appearance, grades and most of all, his sexuality. His mother wrote on and on about how it was a ‘sin’ and ‘unholy’ as well as bringing his family shame. She pointed out that when he died, he’d go straight to Hell and rot there for all eternity.

The written abuse hurt a lot. He didn’t want to shame his family or be a disappointment to them, but nothing he did was right. He was confused about the statements about his poor grades because he was one of the best students in his former school. He just about managed to shrug off the other insults, but the ones about his sexuality plagued him.

Frank was an atheist despite being raised in a heavily Catholic household and going to a Catholic boarding school. He’d never grasped onto the idea of a superior being looking down on them, controlling how they lived their lives. If God was real, Frank thought, he’d been an alright person. Howecer, Frank believed strongly in the ‘seeing is believing’ theory and was a sceptic until proved otherwise.

This meant the idea of Heaven and Hell didn’t bother him in the slightest. The threats and various shock tactics people used to scare him into becoming attracted to the opposite gender never worked. Besides, if every queer person went to Hell, then he’d see no probably with being surrounded by other gay men in his afterlife. Frank thought it was the most ideal way to spend the rest of eternity.

He didn’t notice he was crying until small wet patches started to appear on the card below him. He’d become immune to the verbal insults by just shaking them off or downright ignoring them, but seeing them written down was a different experience all together. Someone had taken the time to write the curliest things about him and disguised it in a seemingly innocent birthday card.

Frank shook his head and dried his eyes again while putting the card back into its envelope and shoving it under his bed. If he was lucky, the card would get lost and he’d never have to see it again.

“I thought your mother told you to get up,” came a voice from the entrance to Frank’s room.

Frank snapped his head up to see who was speaking to him. When he saw who it was, he felt his heart drop to the floor. It was his father, and like his mother he could see the anger in his eyes. This time, Frank forced himself to speak, knowing staying quiet this time would result in a lot worse than just threats.

“I… I’m… I w-was just r-reading t-the card m-mother gave to m-me,” Frank stuttered, trying to prevent his father from hitting him.

“Were you now?” His father said, not believing a word he said. “We raised you well, son. Why did you have to repay us and become a fag,” he whispered, glaring down at Frank who was slowly shuffling backwards against the wall. He knew how abusive his father could be towards him on a good day, he dread to think about what could happen if he was already furious.

“It’s not my f-fault,” Frank said, looking his father in the eyes.

“Not your fault, is it? Then whose fault is it?” he said, still in a threating whisper as he approached Frank’s bed. “We raised you right, if not _perfectly_. We raised you how God taught us and you turned out like this,” he said, gesturing at Frank.

“I-I thought t-the Bible told y-you to l-love everyone a-and be accepting?” Frank said. The random burst of confidence spurred him on. He was sick of being walked over and if his father killed him, so be it.

“What did you say, boy?” his father spoke, kneeling down so he was at eye level with his son.

“I s-said that y-you’re meant to c-care for e-everyone and n-not treat them like d-dirt.”

“Don’t you _dare_ talk back to me like that,” he shouted and raised his fist, aiming for Frank’s face.

Frank closed his eyes tightly, bracing himself for the excruciating pain that was about to happen.

***

“Frank,” Gerard said for the millionth time. Nothing he did woke Frank up from the nightmare he was having. Shaking him didn’t work and only caused him to groan and tears to form behind his eyelids. “Frank, come on. Wake up,” he said in a louder voice, hoping not to wake up anyone else.

It was still early and Gerard had just managed to get to sleep. Luckily, for both Frank and Gerard, he had only been drifting off, allowing him to respond to Frank’s quiet sounds of distress.

Gerard kicked off the covers, praying that the cold air hitting Frank’s warm body would be enough to wake him up or at least stop the nightmare which was going on.

Once he had successfully thrown the blankets onto the floor, he sat up and attempted to get Frank’s unconscious state to sit on his lap, allowing Gerard to cradle him. Also, the movement may have woken up Frank, too.

Fortunately, Frank wasn’t heavy so moving him proved no problems for the older boy. Gerard rocked him gently while whispering nonsense into his ear.

Frank let out a gasp and then a shrill scream, backing away from Gerard and falling with a thud to the floor. Gerard was glad he’d put the blankets on the floor only moments before as it somewhat softened Frank’s fall.

“Finally,” Gerard whispered to himself, getting off the bed to join Frank on the floor.

Frank had already started burying himself on the multiple blankets on the floor, attempting to cover his face, stomach and crotch area – all the places where it would hurt the most to be hit or punched, with his eyes still closed. It seemed like a natural reaction, but Gerard hadn’t seen Frank behave that way before.

Seeing Frank panic was never anything Gerard wanted to see. All he wanted to do was to go up to Frank and hug him until he calmed down, but he was still in the first stage of a panic attack as well as coming out of his nightmare, meaning that Gerard touching him in any way could trigger a worse one. With this in mind, they sat with a respectable distance between them while Gerard waited for Frank to calm.

Gerard decided to move a couple of centimetres closer to Frank in a vague attempt to comfort him.

Frank felt the blanket shift under someone else weight. In Frank’s mind, he was still in his parents’ house and his father was looming over him, fist still raised. It was hard for Frank to distinguish between reality and what his brain made up on some nights because the images were so clear; sometimes he could feel the punches being inflicted on him, too.

He let out a short gasped again, curling into a ball before opening his eyes warily and looked around the room.

Gerard saw Frank’s eyes opening and jumped at the opportunity to comfort him.

“You’re finally awake. I was so _worried_ ,” he whispered and held Frank close to his chest.

“I d-don’t feel g-good,” Frank said meekly. Gerard looked at Frank and saw how pale he was.

Gerard grabbed Frank’s hand and gently pulled him to his feet, “Bathroom. Now.”

Frank allowed himself to be pulled into the other, smaller room before falling to his knees in front of the toilet. Gerard walked forwards, kneeling down next to Frank while rubbing his back as he dry heaved into the toilet bowl.

“It’s okay,” Gerard said in the calmest tone he could manage.

Frank lifted his head from the toilet, and turned to look at Gerard. Gerard hadn’t seen how sick Frank was. In the dim light of Gerard’s bedroom, he could tell that Frank was paler than usual, but under the bright lights in the bathroom, he almost glowed a sickly white. His eyes, usually a beautiful, shining hazel colour, were red around the edges and swollen from crying. He looked like a lost cause, and Gerard felt his heart snap.

Frank let out a small sob, falling backwards onto Gerard and hiding his face in the crook of his neck.

Gerard let Frank cry as he rocked him in his arms, humming a random tune to him.

He eventually let out a small sigh and pulled away from Gerard.

“G-great way t-to start my seventeenth b-birthday, right?” Frank laughed sadly.

“Shhh, it’s not even eight in the morning yet, you still have time to make it a good birthday. Besides, I haven’t given you your presents,” he announced, helping Frank up and pushing him gently towards the door.

“Presents? W-what? No, y-you shouldn’t have,” Frank blushed.

“Well, I did. Sorry to disappoint you,” Gerard chuckled. “Go and sit on the bed and I’ll go and get them for you.”

While Frank was asleep, Gerard managed to gift wrap and sign the presents he bought and made for Frank. He wasn’t the best at wrapping when he wasn’t sleep deprived, so with a lack of sleep his minmum skill decreased dramatically.

Gerard retrieved the gifts from under the pile of paper on his desk and walked back to Frank, hiding them behind his back.

Considering Frank was dry heaving into the toilet merely fifteen minutes ago, he seemed to glow with excitement and happiness. The sheer joy coming from him mildly surprised Gerard, but then he remembered that this was probably the first proper birthday that Frank could remember.

He nervously handed Frank the two small parcels, “It’s not much but…” he said, shyly smiling at him.

Frank just grinned at him, carefully feeling the gift in front of him. He knew it was soft and narrowed it down to an item of clothing. He eagerly opened the first present to reveal a pair of fingerless skeleton gloves underneath the wrapping paper.

“Like I said, it isn’t much, but I made you something?” Gerard said with a small laugh.

Frank looked at Gerard, still with a massive grin on his face. He took off the tiny bit of plastic holing them together and slipped them on his hands.

The black contrasted perfectly with his ever so slightly tanned skin. Frank wiggled his fingers, testing the gloves out.

“I l-love them!” Frank exclaimed, “H-how did y-you know I liked s-skeleton things?”

“You may have mentioned it once,” Gerard shrugged as he handed Frank his other gift – the drawing. “It’s probably not good; I didn’t finish it until six in the morning…”

“6AM?” Frank asked in a shocked voice, staring up at Gerard.

“Yeah. Why?”

“T-that means y-you only had…” Frank counted the number of hours on his glove clad hands, “two h-hours sleep.”

“More like one and a half, but it doesn’t matter. Your birthday is more important. I could sleep at any time and you’re birthday only comes once a year,” Gerard said, giving him the same reason as he had told himself. “Oh, open this one _really_ carefully. I don’t want you ripping it.”

Frank blushed a deep shade of red at Gerard’s kind words and nodded, opening the final gift extremely cautiously.

When he peeled back the glossy paper, he saw an average, A4 sheet of paper looking back at him. Trying to hide the confused expression on his face, he smiled.

“Turn it over, you idiot,” Gerard laughed, making Frank swear under his breath and blush even more.

Frank did what he was told and flipped over the paper. When he saw what was on the other side, is jaw dropped. Gerard had drawn him a pug, but not just a normal pug, this one almost looked like it was half zombie, half dog. It wasn’t a gory zombie, of course. Gerard had kept the zombie-pug very cute and innocent, without blood, guts or any form of death surrounding it. The pug itself was fat and looked extremely huggable which the addition of the costumes only increased its appeal to Frank.

“It’s…it’s…” Frank stammered, unable to get his words out.

“If you don’t like it, I get it. Not many people like what I draw. It’s not for-“

“S-shut up,” Frank chuckled.

“It’s not for everyone,” Gerard continued, “but I get-“ this time Gerard was forced to shut up when Frank started to kiss him forcefully.

Gerard let out a surprised squeak when Frank started to bite and pull Gerard’s bottom lip. Kissing Frank as intimately as they had been was still a new experience to Gerard, but he wasn’t going to complain.

“Frank,” Gerard moaned into Frank’s mouth, grabbing fistfuls of Frank’s shirt and pulling him closer.

Frank pushed Gerard back, making him lose his balance and trip over his desk’s chair, landing on the floor. Before he could react or get the air back into his lungs, Frank was straddling his legs, preventing him from moving.

Gerard lifted his head up, leaving butterfly kisses all down Frank’s neck, making the other boy form goose bumps where his lips once were. He smirked, loving the small amount of power he had over Frank at that moment.

They started to kiss again with only the sound of panting and the occasional moan filling the room.

They were too preoccupied to hear someone walk down the steps towards their room and open the door.

“Happy birth-“ Mikey sang as he pushed the door open, instantly stopping the moment he saw them both on the floor. “Ugh, fuck. Do you really have to be having sex every time I come down here?” he groaned, covering his eyes and added a fake gagging sound for the effect.

Frank and Gerard shot up from their position, starting wide-eyed at Gerard’s younger brother who was casual standing in the door frame.

“We weren’t- Mikey, why don’t you knock?!” Gerard shouted, trying to cover his embarrassment.

“I shouldn’t have to. It’s a free world,” Mikey replied with a smug smile on his face.

“Yes, for some it is. But this is our- I mean _my_ room, and I deserve my privacy. Doesn’t that come under the ‘free world’ category?”

Mikey shrugged, “Probably. But it’s 9AM and mom has things for Frank and wanted me to come and get you two.”

“T-things for m-me?” Frank asked.

“Yeah, it’s your birthday, isn’t it? Of course she’s bought you things. It’s what people do,” Mikey said, matter-of-factly. “Be quick. I’m hungry and she isn’t make breakfast until everyone get there,” he said as he walked back upstairs.

“I can’t believe he’s walked into us twice. _Twice_ ,” Gerard groaned, covering his face.

Frank laughed and kissed Gerard’s lips gently. “Add a l-lock onto your d-door?” he suggested while getting off the other boy’s legs and lifting them both up to their feet.

“Good idea. I’ll definitely think about that,” he sighed. “We should probably go before Mikey starves to death.”

Frank nodded and made his way to the bedroom door.

“Oh, and Frank?” Gerard spoke.

Frank hummed and turned to face him.

“Happy birthday,” he smiled and hugged him, making Frank grin widely at him.

“T-thanks.”

Gerard held Frank’s hand, squeezing it gently, pulling him out of the room and up to the bright kitchen where Donna and Mikey were waiting.


	16. Chapter 16

They were both hit with a chorus of ‘happy birthdays’ coming from Gerard’s mom and brother the moment they walked into the kitchen. Donna had already prepared stacks of pancakes, shoving two plates in Frank’s and Gerard’s direction. All the pancakes were identical; expect Frank’s had one single, blue candle stuck in the middle, ready to be lit.

Gerard grabbed a fork for them both from the kitchen work surface and handed one to Frank. He took it eagerly, of course, and poised his fork, pointing at the pile of pancakes.

“Wait,” Donna said suddenly. She walked to the draws under a worktop, opening it swiftly and started rummaging around. Moments later she let out a quick cheer before taking out a box of matches. “I need to light the candle. I didn’t want to do it while you weren’t here in case it got candle wax all over them,” she said as she tried to light a match, walking towards them both.

Frank’s hands started to shake with the pure joy of people bothering with his birthday. Noticing this, Gerard decided that Frank not being able to keep still and a naked flame would only end one way; badly. He put his significantly less extravagant pancakes on the table and walked around Frank. He stood behind him and reached around him, holding his wrists to keep them steady. He saw Frank’s ears turn red and resisted the urge to keep them by gently resting his chin on the younger boy’s shoulder, causing a small sigh to leave his lips.

Mikey didn’t try to hide the smirk that spread across his face when he caught Gerard’s eye. Gerard narrowed his eyes and mouthed a string of swears, hoping his mother wouldn’t notice.

“Ah-ha!” Donna laughed as the familiar sound of a match successfully lighting filled the room for half a second. She looked up and did a not-so-subtle double take at Gerard’s new position behind Frank. Against her better judgment she said nothing, smiling sweetly at them both. She took another step forwards and lit the thin candle on top of the pancakes.

“Happy birthday, Frank,” she said and kiss the top of his head gently before retreating to the chairs around the table.

Realising Gerard hadn’t moved from wrapping his body around Frank’s; she let out of small but very fake cough.

“Oh,” Gerard whispered, stumbling back from Frank. He felt his cheeks burn white hot. He looked at Frank, hoping he wouldn’t feel as embarrassed as he did. He let out a small sigh of relief when he saw Frank wasn’t embarrassed at all, in fact he was laughing helplessly at Gerard’s over the top reaction. “What?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Y-you...” he wheezed before trailing off.

Gerard uncomfortably laughed and shrugged, still unsure about what Frank meant.

Frank continued to laugh hysterically until small blue dots of wax hit his breakfast which he was still gripping on to.

“I know it’s your birthday, Frank, but you need to stop laughing and eat your breakfast before it’s covered in wax,” Donna spoke from the other side of the kitchen, pointing at Frank’s plate. The wax had started to drip faster now, leaving small pools of blue liquid streaming down the sides of the pancakes.

The shock of Gerard’s mom speaking to him made Frank lose his tight hold on the plate, causing it to drop to the floor. The plate smashed, leaving tiny bits of porcelain scattered on the floor. The pancakes, which were once in a neat stack, were spread out on the ground with a mix of wax and maple syrup surrounding them in a puddle. Luckily, the small flame from the candle was put out on impact meaning there wasn’t a potential fire hazard on top of the mess Frank had created.

Mikey spluttered in shock before quickly covering his mouth with his hand, blocking the comments which he so wanted to make about what Frank had done. He turned to look at his mom who was sitting opposite him to gauge her anger. He saw the clear flash of rage in her eyes as one of her favourite plates fell to the floor as well as annoyance. Finally, she settled upon a clam facade, but it was too calm, almost threatening.

“Frank,” she said in a slow, low voice. “I think you need to go and calm down in Gerard’s room for a bit. You’re obviously too excited now.”

Frank turned on his heels and walked towards Gerard’s room. Donna, Mikey and Gerard could distinctly hear Frank’s unmistakable giggle as he walked downstairs.

All of them stood and sat in silence, still trying to process what had happened. It seemed like Frank had an entire personality flip between the time he was panicking on Gerard’s bedroom floor to acting extremely rudely towards Gerard.

“I’ll start cleaning this up,” Gerard muttered, bending down to pick up the mess in front of him.

Donna shook her head and stood up. “We’ll clean up, won’t we Mikey?” she said, facing her youngest son.

“But what if I don’t-“ Mikey started to complain.

“Mikey.” His mother said in a stern voice, “you’re going to help me clean up and your brother is going to talk to Frank and find out what happened to make him act like that.”

“Fine, whatever,” he said, slouching in the chair.

Donna turned to her other son with an overly fake smile. “You go down and find out why Frank was acting like that.”

Gerard nodded and walked towards the door before Mikey spoke up.

“Yeah, Gee. Go and see what made your boyfr-“

“ _Mikey_ ,” Gerard whined. “He isn’t my... he isn’t.”

“Go,” Donna commanded, glaring at Mikey. “We’ll talk about that bit later, in private.”

***

Gerard kicked open the door, not caring when it hit the wall hard and made a loud bang.

Frank yelped and jumped up from Gerard’s bed where he had been lying on his back, staring up at the ceiling above. He swiftly turned to see who had entered the room and felt a smile come onto his face when he saw Gerard standing in the dimly lit doorway.

“Hi,” Frank said, still smiling, and walked towards him. He opened his arms for a hug but Gerard didn’t copy. He kept his arms crossed over his body. “G-gee?” he spoke again, feeling his smile flatter.

“Sit,” Gerard said in a tone Frank had never heard him use towards him before. He was furious. Frank nodded, seeing that asking questions now wouldn’t add to Gerard’s current mood.

Frank obeyed and sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for Gerard to sit next to him, but he didn’t. Gerard stayed standing up and walked to stand directly in front of Frank. This only gave Frank one option: to look up at Gerard.

Gerard let out a shaky breath as he tried to keep his anger under control. “What... what the _fuck_ made you act like- like that?” Gerard started, in a low growl, leaving Frank looking up at him with a confused look. “You were so deep in a nightmare only hours before that you _kicked_ me.”

“I d-didn’t mean t-too,” Frank cried in distress.

“Once you calmed down, I have you your presents. Remember that?” Gerard asked rhetorically. “You were fine then. You were happy but you weren’t hysterically laughing at everything without any explanation. What made you do that?” he said, pointing to the doorway.

“I, uh, I’m...” Frank stuttered. Gerard’s words were still ringing in his ears. He didn’t know the way he had acted was inappropriate. He dropped a plate but it was an honest mistake, Donna’s voice has taken him by surprise, that’s all.

Gerard huffed and sat down next to Frank but left a few inches of space between them. “Come on,” he urged. “Why did you act like that?” Gerard felt like he was telling off a misbehaving five year old, not asking a seventeen year old why he’d been acting differently.

Frank didn’t respond. He looked down at his lap and tried to fight back the tears in his eyes.

“What made you behave like that?” Gerard asked again, closing the space and resting his chin on Frank’s shoulder. Frank flinched as the touch but quickly relaxed. “Tell me, please, baby?” Gerard begged, hoping that the pet name would make Frank crack.

A shy smile crept onto Frank’s face at the pet name and rested his cheek on the top of Gerard’s head before figuring out what he was going to say. “I g-got overexcited, I g-guess,” Frank whispered. “L-like I said b-before, no one’s b-bothered with my birth-birthday. It’s n-new to me,” he shrugged.

Gerard hummed, allowing Frank to keep on talking.

“Y-yeah, it’s n-new f-for people t-to _care_ , y’know? It’s n-nice,” he smiled sadly. “I’m s-so sorry. I d-don’t have a g-good explanation. S-sorry,” he apologised.

Gerard added more pressure to Frank’s shoulder before nodding. “I should be sorry, too. I should have been more considerate about it all. I forget sometimes. Sorry for yelling at you on your birthday. I’ve probably ruined it for you,” he groaned in an apologetic way.

“You haven’t r-ruined it,” he laughed. “I should g-go and apologise t-to your mom a-and pay her b-back for that plate...” Frank sighed, lifting his cheek from Gerard’s head and standing up slowly.

Gerard sat up properly and watched Frank fix his shirt. He flashed Gerard a small smile before heading towards the stairway.

“Wait,” Gerard called and jumped up to get to him, stopping Frank in his tracks. “We’re good?” he asked.

“We’re g-good,” Frank confirmed with a slight nod.

“Good,” Gerard said airily. He swung his arms awkwardly, unsure if it was okay to hug Frank or not.

Frank rolled his eyes, “a-are you going to h-hug me or n-not, asshole?”

They both smiled and wrapped their arms around each other in a protective manner, holding one another close. Frank placed his head on Gerard’s shoulder which the other boy copied quickly.

“I’m so sorry, Frank,” Gerard said apologetically again.

“Shhh, I d-don’t want to hear i-it,” Frank replied, kissing the skin under Gerard ear. Gerard’s breath got caught in his throat when Frank cold, and slightly dry, lips touched his warm skin. “I’ll go and a-apologise to your-“

“I’ll come with you,” Gerard spoke over him.

“- mom, a-alone,” Frank finished. He gave Gerard another smile, trying to mask his nerves.

“Are you sure?”

“V-very,” Frank replied before leaving the room.

***

Donna was sat in her usual seat and reading a news paper when Frank shyly walked into the room. He noticed that the kitchen floor was clean again with no evidence of what had previously happened. The shame washed over Frank when he remembered exactly how he’d acted. He was meant to be mature and able to contain his excitement and not become hyperactive at the kind gestures people naturally did.

He slowly walked towards Donna, stepping in the sticky patch where the syrup had gone into the floorboard. He cringed. Gerard’s mom must have noticed someone else in the room as she looked up from that paper she was reading and looked at Frank.

“Hello,” she greeted him. “Has Gerard talked to you yet?” she asked bluntly.

Frank nodded silently.

“Good,” she hummed to herself, mainly.

Frank let out a long breath from his mouth, collecting his thoughts before starting to make an apology. “I’m s-so sorry. I d-didn’t mean to a-act like... l-like _that_. I’ve n-never been g-given such a n-nice birthday s-surprise b-before,” he blushed and started to play with his thumbs. “I’ll c-clean the floor a-and the w-whole house, if you w-want. I’ll p-pay you b-back for that plate, too,” he said quietly.

Donna folded up her paper and put it down on her lap. She looked at the younger boy who had started to pull at the skin around his thumbs out of a nervous habit. “I don’t want you to do any of that, as nice as the offer is,” she smiled. “I just want you to promise me that you’ll never do it again and try to keep yourself calmer. If you can’t calm down where you may happen to be, try and find somewhere where you can take a few deep breaths,” she suggested.

Frank nodded and agreed. Her suggestions were reasonable. He counted his blessings in his head. If he’d been at home, his parents would have yelled at him, sent him to his room and the he’d be lucky to get away with minor punches from his father.

“Go and get changed into something more formal. If you don’t have anything, I’m sure you can borrow something of Gerard’s. Mind you, it could be slightly too long, but we can tuck them in.”

“Formal?” Frank asked.

“Yes. We’re going out for your birthday lunch and showing up in casual baggy jeans probably won’t cut it there,” she smiled again.

“O-okay,” Frank agreed before walking back to Gerard’s room.

***

Gerard had his ear pressed to the door, trying to hear signs of his mother shouting or Frank’s cries, but he didn’t hear any evidence of it. Their conversation had been to quiet for Gerard to eavesdrop into, so he presumed it went well. He heard Donna dismiss Frank and the instantly recognizable sound of someone descending the stairs. Gerard threw himself onto his bed and tried to fake a natural position to hide the fact that he had been trying to listen into their discussion.

Frank pushed the door open slightly and strolled in. Gerard looked up and saw Frank didn’t look like he’d been crying, which was a positive. He also looked...happy, or as happy as he could be - there was definitely a smile on his face.

“How did it go?” Gerard questioned and sat up, letting Frank slump down next to him.

“It w-went okay. I d-don’t have to p-pay her back, w-which is good,” Frank said before turning to face him, “and we’re g-going out. G-get dressed.”

“Going out? Where? No one mentioned this to me,” Gerard grinned, trying to hide that he was lying. He and his mom had planned Frank’s birthday lunch a few days before. They picked the nicest restaurant that they could afford and booked a table so it would go as smoothly as possible.

“Y-you knew, didn’t y-you?” Frank giggled, poking Gerard’s sides softly.

“Me? No?” Gerard scoffed as Frank laughed. “What does it matter, anyway? We’re going and we should change. Do you have any clothes,” he asked, “you could borrow mine if you want...”

Frank considered the amount of clothes he had and came to the conclusion that none fitted under the category of ‘formal’. He owned a handful of faded band shirt and jeans but they were the items of clothing that Donna told him not to wear. “D-do you mind i-if I borrow y-yours?” Frank flushed.

“Pick whatever,” Gerard said, opening his wardrobe and picking out a handful of semi-formal shirts and newer jeans and dumped them on the bed, letting Frank pick.

He gazed down at the selection of clothes in front of him. They ranged from dress shirt, plain white t-shirts, jeans and suit trousers. Frank ran his hand along the fabric of the clothes while trying to decide.

“I’ll go and change in the bathroom,” Gerard whispered, kissing the side of Frank’s mouth before dragging some clothes with him into the smaller room.

Frank carried on picking what he wanted to wear until he came across an Iron Madden shirt and some pretty new black skinny jeans. It suited his style as well as being somewhat formal. He gathered up the other items of clothing and placed that back into the wardrobe and closed the door securely.

He went back and sat on the, now tidy, bed while he waited for Gerard to be finished in the bathroom. He hadn’t seen what Gerard had chosen, so the wait was even longer. He’d never seen Gerard in anything by his school uniform, pyjamas and casual clothes. Seeing him in anything vaguely formal would be a new experience for Frank.

He heard the little click of the door opening and looked towards the door. Gerard had chosen to wear a black shirt and black jeans. The dark material as well as his black hair made his skin seem like it was glowing and even paler than usual. However, it wasn’t a sick or unattractive pale; it made his eyes shine an even brighter hazel/green which Frank adored.

“Are you done gawking at me?” he chuckled.

 _Oh_ , Frank thought to himself. Had he been gazing at Gerard for that long? “Oh, uh, s-sorry. I’ll change n-now,” he said before briskly walking to the bathroom and locking the door behind him.

***

They arrived at the restaurant shortly after Frank had changed. Frank didn’t know what to expect when Donna had told him where they were going as he’d never been to any kind of restaurant before –posh or not.

The four of them, Donna, Frank, Gerard and Mikey all stood outside the building and looked up, admiring the extravagant structure before them.

The building was clearly a new one but designed in a classic mock-Victorian style. The build itself was white but the dark woodwork, lacing the walls contrasted well and made the restaurant look even grander.

“Stop gawking at it and let’s go in. We can’t miss our reservation,” Donna said to the three boys and nodded towards the large oak doors which lead into the building. She started to walk slowly towards it while holding the bottom of her shirt down to stop it blowing up in the wind.

Mikey obediently followed his mother, dragging his feet along the road’s surface, scuffing his shoes and letting out annoyed sighs.

“He doesn’t want to be here,” Gerard said to Frank with a small shit eating grin.

Frank looked over Gerard’s shoulder to roughly were Mikey would be. He could hear the noticeable sounds of someone scraping their shoes across the ground and guessed it was him. “W-why?” he asked and focused his attention back on Gerard.

“He’s been talking to this girl. I think her name’s Kristin,” he said dismissively. “They started talking in class a few months back and he’s pretty much head-over-heels in love with her.”

Frank cooed at his knew knowledge of Mikey’s love interested. Frank, being a hopeless romantic, started to think of possible ways that Mikey could ask her out. “W-what if he b-buys her some f-flowers and w-writes her a message o-on it and asks her t-that way?” he suggested.

It was a sweet idea but Gerard knew Mikey and he knew that his younger brother would keep his feelings towards her undetected while continuing his emotionless facade. Gerard laughed, shaking his head. “It’s a nice thought but Mikey won’t do that, trust me.”

They kept on talking and laughing about Gerard’s younger brother whilst still standing outside the restaurant.

“Boys,” Gerard’s mom shouted from the doorway. “You need to actually come into the building to have food. They don’t do alfresco dining here, sorry.”

“Oops,” Frank said with a small smile as he dragged Gerard through the double doors.

***

The exterior of the building looked fancy enough but it had nothing on the décor inside. The whole room was filled with plush seats with high backs and long wooden tables. From the high ceiling there hung chandlers which would have originally held candles in their holders, but had been replaced with fairy lights winding their way around the metal bars, making them glisten.

“Wow,” Frank whispered. When he first thought about where they were going to go, he fully anticipated a classier diner or something more basic than it was. He suddenly started to feel incredibly underdressed in this new environment. It gave the impression of somewhere where you had to be in a suit and tie to even enter the premises, but Frank was dressed in a band shirt and jean. He looked extremely out of place.

Gerard felt Frank’s body language change and leaned closer to him, whispering words of encouragement into his ear to calm his nerves.

Mikey looked around the overly decorated room in search of his brother. He’d seem them both walk in but had quickly become lost in the mass of people trying to get to get to their seats. He propped himself up, peering over the heads of the other customers. It took him a matter of seconds to spot Frank and Gerard standing together, both looking equally out of place and uncomfortable. He snorted out a laugh before extending his arm and waving in their direction.

Gerard noticed Mikey waving. He gently shoved Frank’s shoulder, directing him toward the small bar where Mikey was sitting.

“Hey,” Gerard greeted him. He pulled out a chair for both him and Frank to sit down next to Mikey. “Where’s mom?” he asked, noticing the absence of Donna.

“Getting the table?” Mikey suggested before checking his phone for messages.

Frank raised his eyebrow in a knowing way and nudged Gerard. Gerard laughed and spluttered as he tried to turn it into a vaguely natural cough

“What?” Mikey asked, looking up from his phone.

“Nothing, just a tickly cough,” his brother wheezed and shoved Frank back. “Look, mom’s coming back,” he noted, as he saw his mom walking towards them.

“Okay,” she said once she’d reached the three boys, “we’re at table number 34 in the far left near that back, but they’re still cleaning it right now. We’ll have to wait a few minutes,” she announced.

“O-okay,” Frank spoke as the other nodded.

As the other diners took their seats, the noise level dropped letting the smooth classical music play around the bar area. It was something Frank hadn’t heard before because classical music didn’t interest him, but it sounded relaxing. He let his vision blur and become unfocused as he sat in the chair, letting the atmosphere sink into him.

He wasn’t paying attention to the people around him and didn’t notice two people looking at him from a distance and pointing. He also didn’t see them walk up to him until he heard a different voice call his name.

“Frank?” called a slightly familiar female voice. “Why are you here?”

He opened his eyes and turned to face the new voice. He full expected someone from school to be standing there or a neighbour, but he felt his heart leap when his eyes focused on the woman standing in front of him.

She had her hands firmly placed on her hips with a look of pure disgusted written all over her face. Frank could tell that she wanted to hit him if they were in public.

“Answer me,” she spat.

“Frank, who... who’s this?” Gerard spoke softly, placing a hand on the boy’s shoulder.

Frank lowered his gaze, looking down at his lap and tried to get his words out.

Gerard looked up at the woman looming over them. His mother hadn’t noticed the new person standing before them because she was too busy trying to get Mikey away from his phone.

“Who are you?” Gerard questioned, making eye contact with the woman.

“I should be asking _you_ that question and show a little more respect,” she hissed.

“I’m sorry. Who are you, _ma’am?_ ” he replied with sarcasm dripping from every syllable.

Frank whispered something under his breath that Gerard didn’t catch. He looked from his former position and sat up straight. He tried to look the woman in the eyes but fear flashed through his body. “G-Gerard,” he gulped, “This... i-is my m-mom.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These updates will become even worse because my exams are starting on the 12th May (ahh!) and I need to have time to revise. They only last until the 21st of the same month so the hiatus/irregular updates won't last long. On top of that I have study leave and a week off so I could get this entire fic done by mid June.  
> However, saying that I don't have a plan on when/how this is going to end so we'll just see!
> 
> Also, I love Kristin but she'll only be mentioned in this fic and won't have any main role (sorry).
> 
> Until next time!  
> xo


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to leave this until next week but I got bored and Frank's birthday has spanned around 2 chapters now. Basically, it was time for it to come to an end. ~~sorry not sorry~~  
>  xo

Both Way brothers look one another, then to Frank and finally to the woman – Frank’s mother - standing near them with their eyes wide with utter shock. They’d heard about Frank’s parents, of course they had, but they never thought they would actual meet them in person and certainly not like this.

Frank glanced up at them and hoped that neither of his friends would express their disgust at his treatment while in their care.

Frank saw Mikey’s expression change from his usual expressionless face to shock to pure hate and anger in a split second.

“I can’t believe you-“ Mikey started in a furious tone. He started to get off the chair and had planned to walk toward Mrs Iero before Gerard’s arm held him back.

“- are here,” Gerard interrupted with a nervous laugh. “It’s so nice to meet you in person. Frank has mentioned you quite a bit.” He wasn’t telling Frank’s mom a complete lie as her son had talked about her a lot, however it wasn’t necessarily in a positive way.

“Is that so?” Mrs Iero said raising her eyebrow ever so slightly. “Please enlighten me on what my _darling_ son has said about me?” Gerard heard the hate seeping from her words.

Gerard cleared his throat to buy himself more time before opening his mouth. “Well, Frank has said any things like...” he stalled.

Mrs Iero let out an annoyed huff before she faced her son. “What have you been telling your friends about me, honey,” she said in a clearly fake sickly sweet tone accompanied with a fake smile.

“Uhh...” Frank stammered. Gerard saw the all too familiar look in his eyes. Frank was panicking badly and Gerard couldn’t do the usual strategy to calm him down as two seventeen year boys basically cuddling in a semi-formal restaurant may not have been appropriate.

Before Frank’s mother could press him for answers, Donna strolled up beside them. “The table is ready,” she spoke happily brushing her hair from in front of her eyes, not noticing the stranger standing with the three boys. “Come – oh, who is this?” she said, taking a step back in surprise.

Frank, Gerard and Mikey all stayed silent, slowly eyeing up one another to see who would introduce Donna to one of the two people who had neglected Frank for so many years.

“Mrs Iero,” she introduced herself, offering Donna a hand to shake. “I am Frank’s mother.”

Donna shook Mrs Iero’s hand warily and gave her the best false smile she could muster. She knew better than to start to shout at her, accusing her of the entire disregard she had taken upon Frank’s wellbeing and safety. She also knew in some situations it was better to play the ignorant role and pretend that Frank hadn’t mentioned what was happening at home. Sometimes it was better to lie.

Going by stereotypes Mrs Iero didn’t strike anyone as someone who would be so cruel and cold-hearted as she was. She had long, black hair which went down to her shoulders, curling a little at the end; hazel eyes which were identical to Frank’s in colour and shape and paper white skin. Minus the fact that her lips were in a thin line and she was throwing appalled looks at her son, at first glance you’d expect her to be a nice person. Nonetheless, you are never meant to judge a book by its cover, as the saying goes.

“I’m Donna Way, Gerard’s and Mikey’s mother,” she said while pointing vaguely at her sons who gave an over polite wave. “I hope it was okay that Frank has come to stay with us over the break. Gerard seemed so eager to have someone over, I couldn’t say no.”

Mrs Iero’s eyes lit up and the mention of her son not being home for the long weekend of. “He was meant to come home?” she asked, “I thought we sent _it_ off for good.”

Donna felt a pool of rage inside her as she listened to Frank’s mother speak about how nice it was of her to take her son out of her hands over the vacation. Frank’s mom seemed delighted – if not ecstatic – that the Way’s had taken in her son.

“And you’re not in any way happy to see him? Not on his birthday?” Donna asked in a cold voice.

“Him? No, of course not, don’t be stupid. I never want to see that sinning excuse of a life form ever again. We didn’t expect him to be here as these establishments usually don’t let in scum,” she spat.

“’We’?”

“Yes, ‘we’. My husband and I are here trying to forget about this lowlife’s existence. Seventeen years ago today I birthed him, that evil child.”

Frank wasn’t affected by the insults pouring from his mother’s mouth as he had heard them thousands of times before. He’d heard about how ‘sinful’ he was as well as being ‘evil’ and being ‘forced upon’ them by the Devil, as his parents had claimed. But when Frank’s mother mentioned her husband – his father – he cringed. The physical wounds he had gained from his father may have healed over time, but the emotional and psychological ones were still cut wide open.

Gerard saw Frank wince and places a comforting hand on his thigh. Frank instinctively places the palm of his hand on top of Gerard and laced their fingers together. Gerard squeezed his fingers in an attempt to show support but not draw attention to themselves. Frank let out an unsteady breath before progressing to listen in to the two mothers talking.

“Oh, right, your husband. Frank’s father I presume?”

Mrs Iero nodded before turning around in search of him.

Donna’s heart rate picked up at the thought of Frank’s father coming anywhere near them. If he was half as aggressive as he seemed to be towards his son, then she didn’t trust him to be around Frank, regardless if they were in public or not.

“You don’t have to call him over, it’s okay,” Donna tried to reassure Mrs Iero who was still looking around the room. “In fact, we were just about to leave, weren’t we?” she said, nodding towards the three boys. “It was nice meeting you, Mrs Iero,” she said in an over courteous manner.

Gerard and Mikey stood up simultaneously without complaint, and grabbed one of Frank’s arms each, dragging him of the chair. They made sure that he was in between them both so the two brothers looked more like body guards than friends.

“Let’s go,” Gerard encouraged Frank in a low voice and started to walk in time with Mikey.

Frank said nothing but nodded weakly as they made their way out of the building, avoiding the gleeful gaze of his mother as they walked out together. They took an alternative route: one around the back of the tables and chairs. This made the likelihood of them walking into Frank’s father as slim as possible.

Donna was already sat in the driver’s seat, tapping her nails on the steering wheel as the three boys piled into the back of the car.

“That was unexpected,” Mikey mused whilst buckling himself in.

Donna gave out a little snort in disgust before starting the engine and reversing out of the car park.

They sat in silence while Gerard’s mom drove them all home again. Gerard couldn’t help but think about how Frank’s supposedly ‘best birthday ever’ had gone to absolute shit. He thought that the morning was bad enough with Frank’s acting up, but no one could have seen them bumping into the people who made Frank’s life complete Hell in the restaurant where they had planned to eat.

“We’ll order a takeout,” Donna said to break the silence. “Do you want anything in particular, Frank? You can pick because it’s your birthday,” she said, looking in the mirror and smiling back at them.

Frank felt a wave of guilt wash over him, again. Both Donna and Gerard seemed to have work hard on getting an appropriate table for his birthday lunch, which he had ruined. Because of one small inconvenience, they had to leave and Donna was willing to spend more money on him.

He shook his head timidly. Mikey started to suggest places they could go, but Frank politely declined all of his proposals. Besides, even if he was hungry before the mere sight of his mother’s loathing expression as she laid eyes on him. It made him feel disgusting, unloved and unwanted. He quickly shut his eyes and hoped that the tears forming in his tear ducts wouldn’t show until he was out of the car and in private.

“Mikey, stop pestering him,” Gerard snapped after his brother had suggested the ninth takeaway they could stop at. “You can see he’s not hungry and we can phone up somewhere.”

The younger brother puffed and took out his phone from his pocket. He unlocked it and started to text quickly to someone – probably Kristin – and ignored everyone in the car for the rest of the journey.

Without Mikey’s persistent talking, the car was plunged into a semi-awkward silence again. Donna switched on the radio to fill the silence but the generic pop song did nothing to stop the tension in the car.

Donna turned a corner and pulled up on the curb before turning around in the driver’s seat, “out,” she said simply. Gerard poked Mikey’s side, making him jump in fright, and gestured towards the door. Mikey quickly opened the car door and climbed out. He wanted to be far, far away from the underlying tension in the car.

Gerard noticed that Frank hadn’t made an attempt to move. He looked over at the younger boy to check if he had fallen asleep in the short trip, but he hadn’t. He was wide awake and gazing emotionlessly out of the car window.

Gerard waved his hand in front of Frank’s eyes to get his attention back. Frank blinked and rolled his neck, removing all the knots in it with a series of small clicks.

“Ew,” Gerard said with a small laugh. “We’re here and my mom needs to park up, so we need to get out.”

Frank hummed and allowed Gerard to get out first. Though this was not convenient for Gerard since he had to physically climb over Frank to reach the door, Frank enjoyed the tiny amount of physical contact this gave him.

Gerard jumped out of the car with a light thud. He turned around to get Frank out of the car, fully expecting him to still be sat down, but to his surprise, Frank was already standing a few inches behind him. He slammed the door and walked out of the way of the car onto the sidewalk, giving Donna enough space to properly park.

Without a word, Gerard took Frank’s hand in his own and walked him to the front door that Mikey had left open for them.

They walked through the hallway and instantly turned towards the staircase which lead them down to Gerard’s room. They walked down the stairs, still hand-in-hand, until they reached the bottom. Gerard kicked the door open with his foot and heaved a heavy sigh of relief.

“ _Finally_ ,” he half groaned, half sang when he hit the soft fabric of blankets on his bed. He let his eyes flutter shut, feeling the relaxed air around them absorb into his body.

Seconds later he felt a dip in the mattress and another content sigh as Frank lay down next to him. “Hey,” he whispered. Frank started to wiggle and successfully kicked off his shoes and cuddled up to Gerard.

“Hi,” he replied and copied Frank by taking off his shoes. “So much for having a great birthday, right?” he huffed.

Frank rested his chin on Gerard’s shoulder and shook his head, “i-it was g-good, despite t-the, uh...unseen t-things,” he said in a quiet yet reassuring voice.

“But still...” he sighed, “I should’ve been _perfect_.”

“It w-was perfect for m-me. Besides, i-it was _so_ much better t-than my o-others.”

Gerard groaned again and tiled his head so his cheek was resting on the top of Frank’s. Frank comparing his birthday to his previous ones didn’t console him in the slightest. Anything would’ve been better than those ones, in his opinion.

They lay in comfortable silence for a while. Gerard started to wonder what they could do. It was October 31st or more commonly known as Halloween meaning there had to be some god-awful horror films on. Even though Frank had said how much he hated them, Gerard was sure there was a so-bad-it’s-good kind of movie on somewhere.

“Come on,” Gerard spoke and stood up. He walked towards the TV in the corner of the room, dragging some blankets with him. He put the blankets on the floor, bunching some up in places to give them somewhere softer to sit.

Frank started to feel the cold air hit a part of his stomach where his shirt had rolled up. Without Gerard there, acting as he personal heater, he started to feel the cold air hit every part of his body. A few minutes passed before Frank gave out a resigned sigh and shuffled off the bed.

In the minutes the younger boy was stubbornly laying on the bed, Gerard had set up the TV and the blankets like they’d been before. He made his room into another cave-like area and plugged in the fairy lights which were still up from before.

“Done,” he said triumphantly with a grin as he inspected his quick DIY den. “What do you think?” he asked Frank, a smile still evident on his lips.

“L-love it,” Frank replied, smiling back. He sat down next to Gerard at but then started to put more pressure on Gerard’s shoulders, forcing him to lie down.

“What?” Gerard said dumbly.

“L-lie down,” Frank laughed.

“Oh?”

Once Gerard was lying down, Frank resumed his previous position with his head on Gerard’s shoulder comfortably. He started to play with his shirt; picking at the hem and scrunching up little parts of the fabric, feeling it under his fingertips.

“W-what are we w-watching?” Frank asked, blinking up at Gerard in the weak lighting.

“Not sure,” he shrugged, “ _Carrie_ or something like that?”

“Cool,” the younger boy whispered. He’d never seen it before so I couldn’t form any opinion on it. “What’s i-it about?”

“A girl is brought up in a religious family, doesn’t know what a period is and freaks out. Uh, she gets bullied and then kills everyone at her prom with her freaky mind powers? That’s the basic plot. It’s not too scary, honestly,” he smiled down at Frank. He heard Frank mumble before the title scene started to play.

***

Frank managed to stay awake for half of the film before drifting off to sleep on Gerard’s shoulder. It wasn’t that uncomfortable at first, but Frank’s head started to feel heavier and heavier as the film went on. Eventually, the uncomfortable sensation he felt turned into a weird numb/pins and needles feeling, which was no improvement.

Once Frank was in a deep enough sleep, he started to dribble. It was horrible, especially on Gerard’s shoulder, but he couldn’t wake him without feeling guilty as he always looked so calm while he was sound asleep.

Gerard stayed still while he slept. He kept himself entertained by making up different ideas and plots for a comic or singing a made up tune to himself.

Sooner or later, he heard someone walk downstairs and open the door an inch.

“Are you two ready to have something to eat?” his mother asked.

“Yeah, sure,” Gerard responded softly in an attempt not to wake Frank up just yet. “I don’t mind what it is as long as it’s vegetarian.”

“Vegetarian. Got it,” his mother said before closing the door behind her and walking back upstairs.

It was probably around six or seven in the evening and Frank had been asleep for a good few hours. He didn’t want him to sleep through the majority of his birthday, so Gerard decided to try and wake Frank, who was still flat out but now was using his chest as a pillow.

“Wake up,” his whispered into Frank’s ear. “You need to get up. Mom’s gone to get us something to eat...”

Frank didn’t wake up. Instead he bunched more of Gerard’s shirt up in his fits and rubbed his face into his chest softly.

Strategy One: whispering, didn’t work. He attempted Strategy Two: kissing.

As Frank was now on his chest, actually reaching him became an issue. Gerard leaned down in an awkward position and started to kiss the top of Frank’s head. Frank subconsciously pushed his head up into the kiss. Gerard took the opportunity to apply small, butterfly kisses down the side of Frank’s face which made him giggle in his sleep.

Gerard saw Frank’s eyes move behind his eyelid – a sure sign that he would wake up any minute and let him move again. The position they had been in was comfy for an hour or so, but Gerard got cramp in his neck muscles pretty soon after the movie had ended.

Frank stretched letting all his joints click prior to him yawning. He looked around him in a dazed expression whilst he tried to get a sense on where he was. Usually after a nap he was disoriented for a couple of seconds.

“Hi, sleepyhead,” Gerard cooed while absentmindedly stroked his hair, gently pulling on individual strands.

Frank groaned. “C-call me that a-again, and you’re d-dead to me, Way,” he threaten, making Gerard laugh hopelessly.

“Cute.”

“I am n-not,” Frank whined.

“Cute and grumpy, then?”

“I’m n-not.”

“Are.”

“N-not.”

“Are.”

“N-“ Frank started before someone interrupted their argument.

“You sound like _girls_ ,” Mikey laughed from the entrance of their room. “We could hear you two bitching from upstairs. Oh, Frank, apparently you’re a sleepyhead, cute and also grumpy. Who’d have thought it?”

Frank blushed and hid his face in Gerard’s shirt with a grunt of embarrassment.

“Don’t be sexist, Mikes,” Gerard warned.

Mikey shrugged, “Mom told me to get you. Food’s here. Be quick.”

“What a-are we h-having?” Frank yawned.

“Pizza, I think. Meat-free, obviously,” he said and lifted Frank up. “Let’s go, birthday boy,” he laughed, winking at Frank.

“Don’t-“

“I know, I know. Don’t call you that or I’ll be dead to you. It’s just nice to see you blush. It’s-“

“I-if you say ‘cute’ I’ll s-skin you alive,” Frank cautioned him.

“-Cute,” Gerard laughed before running out of the room in case Frank did carry out his various threats.

***

Donna had ordered them all large pizzas. All three boys proved to her that they had eyes bigger than their stomachs because the three of them managed to eat everything in sight before collapsing on the sofa with satisfied groans.

“I’m so full,” Mikey complained, rubbing his very bloated stomach.

“That’s what you get when you eat one and a half large pizzas, Mikey,” Gerard chuckled.

Mikey rolled onto his side, clutching his stomach, “but they were _so_ good.”

Gerard leaned over Frank to check the time on the radio. He squinted in an attempt to get his eyes to focus on the blue/green light of the digital clock. It was 11:29PM and they were all shattered.

“I think I’m going to bed,” Mikey said in the middle of a yawn.

“That’s the best idea you’ve ever had,” he gave out a weak laugh as his brother flipped him off.

“Goodnight, then,” he mumbled, “and happy birthday, again, Frank.”

“T-thanks,” he said sleepily before giving a small wave at Mikey.

Gerard pulled at Frank’s arm, forcing him to sit up despite his complaints. “We should sleep, too.” Gerard ignored the other boy’s protests whilst he pulled him up from the sofa.

Frank was stubborn by nature, and if he didn’t want to move, he wouldn’t. He stayed seated, crossing his arms and pouted like a moody five year old.

“Are you going to move or am I going to have to carry you down there?” he asked with a smirk evident in his tone of voice.

“Carry m-me,” the younger of the two whinged.

“Unbelievable,” he muttered, “un-fucking-believable.” Gerard bent down and picked him up the way a newlywed groom picks up his wife to carry her over the threshold of their new house. Luckily, Frank wasn’t heavy, so Gerard minimal strength wasn’t put under strain. Frank nuzzled into Gerard’s neck and sighed.

“Go,” Frank commanded and pointing in the general direction of the bedroom.

“What I do for you,” he commented as he tried to walk down the stairs without tripping. “If I fall it’s your fault, just saying.”

***

The walk down the stairs wasn’t as treacherous as Gerard had first anticipated. He pushed open the door and put Frank on the bed. He instinctively buried his face into the softest thing he could find – a pillow, in this case.

Gerard picked up some blankets which were still dotted around the room from their movie. He threw them on the bed, making Frank jump a bit.

“Ugh,” Frank grumbled, “w-what was that f-for?”

Gerard shrugged and sat down next to him. “Aren’t you going to get changed?” he asked.

“No. T-too comfy,” Frank replied in a childlike voice.

Gerard lifted his legs onto the bed and lay next to Frank, draping one arm over the boy’s waist.

“Did you have an alright birthday?” he asked.

Frank rolled over so they were face-to-face. “Loved i-it,” he smiled delicately and placed a quick kiss on Gerard’s lips. “Gee?”

Frank took in a deep breath and tried to control his heart rate. “I... I,” he stumbled.

“You?”

“I, uh, I l-love you,” Frank said in a breath.

Gerard’s eyes snapped open and looked directly at Frank. “You _what_?” Gerard said in disbelief, fully believing he’d misheard Frank.

“N-nothing. It wasn’t a-anything. Forget it,” Frank said hastily and tried to turn around. He didn’t want to let Gerard see him close to tears. Gerard gripped Frank arm, preventing him from turning away.

“No, say it again. I... I didn’t hear you.”

Frank felt his heart race again and a familiar sick feeling started in the pit of his stomach. But this time he wasn’t scared that he’d get hit, punched or kicked, he was scared of rejection and Gerard not feeling the same way. Frank let out a trembling breath and closed his eyes tightly, mentally preparing himself for Gerard to laugh in his face. “I l-love you.”

With his eyes tightly closed he didn’t see Gerard face light up or see him grin like an idiot. He certainly didn’t see Gerard close the gap between them and kiss his passionately until he started. Gerard kept the kiss innocent as he could before moving from Frank and allowing them both to catch their breaths.

“Wow, okay,” Gerard laughed lightly. “I guess I should say the same back, right?”

“O-only if you feel....that w-way.”

“I love you too, Frankie,” Gerard blushed and entwined their fingers together. The whole concept of ‘love’ seemed so foreign to him for years and year, but everything changed when a shy boy with a speech impediment and a dark past entered his dorm room only a month and a half ago.

The two of them smiled like idiots until they both fell asleep on top of each other, their hands still locked together.


	18. Chapter 18

“Good morning, love,” his mother said with a yawn. She was sat in her usual seat in the kitchen and her hands were wrapped around an old, stained mug which was once white but now was tinted a slight off-yellow due to the years of use. “You’re up early. Didn’t you sleep?” she asked, peering over the steaming cup of what Gerard presumed was coffee.

Gerard walked into the main part of the kitchen and reached for a box of cereal on one of the higher shelves before getting a bowl from the cupboard underneath one of the work surfaces. “Morning,” he replied, placing the bowl and cereal down and facing his mother. “I did sleep, why do you ask?”

Donna shrugged, continued to sip her drink thoughtfully and watched her son pour some cereal into the bowl. “How’s Frank doing, then?”

“He’s... doing better,” he replied cautiously, narrowing his eyes a little.

“That’s good. We really need to sort out something with his parents. I don’t want him going back there. I’ve talked to social services-“

“I know,” Gerard interrupted shyly.

“- and someone is coming over tomorrow to talk to him about his home life, parents and so on. Since you know, I’m guessing he does, too?” she asked. Gerard nodded and allowed her to carry on speaking. “He needs to be honest, you understand that? He needs to tell the person from social services _everything_ that’s ever happened to him so they can form a solid case; the bruising and other physical injuries won’t seal the deal, per se.”

Gerard hummed to show that he understood what his mother had told him and started to eat his breakfast slowly.

“The people there will understand his situation better and will know what to ask better than I did,” she said in an airy laugh. “Come and sit next to me so I don’t have to shout over the kitchen. I don’t want to wake up Mikey or Frank.”

Gerard agreed and pulled out a chair opposite his mother. “We need to talk about something else, Gerard,” his mother said in a serious tone.

He could tell where this was going just by the way she said it. She rarely used that tone of voice with them. On the rare occasions she did it was either because he or Mikey were in trouble for fighting or breaking something. “Mom,” he groaned, “do we have to? Like you said, it’s still early.”

“I don’t care what time it is. We’re having this conversation and we’re having it now,” she snapped. “Would you prefer to have this talk in front of Mikey?” Gerard stayed silent. “Thought so,” she said smugly. “We need to talk about Frank and you,” she started.

“I figured that, Mom. Don’t make it long-winded.”

“Because of Frank’s past, he probably hasn’t had many friends, right? You’re probably the first person whose showed care and compassion towards him and haven’t hurt him in any way in years and that really affects a person. If his parents did look after him and love him unconditionally – like they should have – he may not have attached himself emotionally to the first person who did.”

“What are you saying?” Gerard laughed uncomfortably. He felt his heart sink the longer his mother talked. He knew what he was saying, he’d thought about it sometimes, too, but didn’t want to believe it until he and her theories was proved right or wrong.

“I’m not saying anything, just suggesting it. He’s been neglected and denied all the love he deserves, of course he’d throw himself at the first person who showed a small amount of kindness towards him.”

“So, what you’re saying is that Frank’s desperate for attention and only likes me because I didn’t beat him up?” he said slowly. “But that doesn’t make any sense. You’ve shown him compassion and all of that too. Why are you singling me out?”

“Well, you are is age and also a boy so he can relate to you more, plus I’m around four times older than his, and also your mom, so he could find it weird. Plus, he’s with you all the time. You two are practically joined by the hip. It was cute, at first, but now he may be becoming too clingy...”

Gerard shook his head. He enjoyed having Frank around him a lot because he made him happy and they could talk about anything at any time. “He isn’t ‘clingy’. He just needs more attention, that’s all,” he said with a shrug.

“Gerard, at least try and see it from someone else’s opinion, please? Try and be careful, alright?”

“I am being careful,” he spat before quickly standing up.

“I don’t want him misleading you, okay?” his mother said back in a harsh tone.

“Why would the person I love mislead me?” Gerard hissed.

Donna’s head sapped up and looked Gerard in the eye. “Say that again,” she requested with a raised eyebrow.

“Frank loves me,” Gerard said with a fake calmness to his voice, “and I love him.”

Donna continued to stare up at Gerard with a disbelieving look etched onto her face. “Gerard, talk to me about this. Now.” She commanded.

He shook his head and started to walk towards the staircase. “I’m going to wake up Frank.”

“Ger-“

“Bye, mom,” he said casually before quickly walking down the stairs to his room.

***

Despite the anger boiling in the pit of Gerard’s stomach he managed to open the door as quietly as possible to avoid waking Frank. He tiptoed into the room, ensuring that the door was closed, and sat on the floor with this back pressed against the side of the bed and rested his head on the wooden frame.

“It’s too early for this,” he whispered to himself. Gerard rubbed his eyes in frustration and let out a small groan. He and his mother usually had a good relationship, some would say it was perfect, but at points she could find certain nerves to hit which would tip Gerard over the edge.

He knew she was only trying to look out for him and the possibility of Frank only being with him because he had no one else was a concern but to him, none of those potential scenarios mattered. They were happen together and had a lot in common. Why would anyone pick out faults?

Gerard sat on the floor for a while longer, pondering what his mother had said. The longer he thought about it, the more reasonable it seemed. His mother was right; he was the first person to show any internet in the younger boy. Perhaps it was only human nature to latch onto something good and not let go, he understood that.

The longer he sat in the semi-darkness of his room and thought, the more irrational they became. He started to doubt whether their friendship, never mind they’re relationship, was secure enough. Whenever Frank became more confident, would he find new and better people to hang around with other than Gerard? Would he be forgotten?

Gerard never thought he had a fear of being forgotten until that moment.

He felt his breathing become shallower and quicker as tears started to prick in the back of his eyes. Crying over something which was probably untrue was stupid, he thought. He tried to blink them away, but nothing worked. The pricking sensation turned into a slight sting just before a tear fell from his eye.

“Shit,” he said in a quiet voice. He tried to wipe away the tears which were now rolling down his face quicker than ever. “Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit,” he chanted under his breath.

Seconds after his tears started he heard Frank start to move more, indicating that he was waking up. Knowing that he didn’t want Frank to see him crying, he furiously started to wipe away the tears, most likely leaving red patched where he’d wiped too vigorously.

The bed creaked as Frank rolled onto his side to look down at Gerard who was sitting on the floor with his knees huddled to his chest.

“G-gee, what’s u-up?” Frank asked softly. He bunched the blankets up in his arms and slid off the bed to sit next to Gerard. He swiftly threw the covers over his shoulders and shuffled next to him. “Tell m-me what’s w-wrong,” he spoke softly again and started to stroke the other boy’s hair.

“N-nothing,” Gerard stammered, “just over thinking, that’s all.”

Frank gave him an unconvinced look through the dimly lit room that made Gerard crack.

“I was talking to my mom before you woke up. She told me about someone coming to see you on the 2nd, which we knew about, and,” he gulped as he tried to hold back a sob, “how you only like me because you don’t know anyone else and you were never show any compassion when you were younger... she said that you just attached yourself onto me because I didn’t abuse you.”

Frank looked at Gerard and stayed silent while he tried to understand what he’d just told him.

“I know it’s stupid and I just let my thoughts get the better of me, but what if you do make more friends and forget about me?” Gerard cringed the moment the words lefts his mouth because they sounded so needy and possessive. Of course he wanted Frank to make more friends, it would be good for him, but sometimes he wanted to be the only person in Frank’s life to allow his paranoid thoughts to rest.

The realisation of what Donna had told her son finally dawned upon him. He stopped playing with Gerard’s hair and looked at him with a horrified expression. “I’d n-never... No, w-why would s-she think that?! I’m n-not _desperate_.”

“I know, Frank! That’s what I said. Don’t... don’t get angry,” Gerard begged and curled up into a ball on his side.

“I’m n-not angry, just...c-confused,” he hushed the older boy, “I’ll n-never be mad. Well, n-not at you at l-least,” he quietly laughed.

Gerard took in a breath and waited for his nerves to calm down before speaking again. “I’m sorry. It’s early and my mom made me start to doubt everything really. Crying about it was stupid, right?”

“C-crying is n-never stupid,” Frank said firmly. He wrapped his arms around Gerard waist and pulled him up from his side, successfully making him squash up next to Frank.

Gerard instinctively pushed backwards to get as close as possible to Frank and he felt him nuzzle the top of his head with his nose. Gerard sighed. “We’re a mess but somehow this all works.”

Frank chuckled. He had to agree with what Gerard had said. They were a mess. One neglected and abused seventeen year old meets an insecure boy of the same age and they fall in love. It sounded like a plot to a bad chick flick.

“As nice as it is cuddling up to you, we should probably move. I need to shower,” Gerard announced as if he hadn’t been hopelessly crying minutes before.

Frank raised an eyebrow and smirked. “C-can I join y-you, baby?” he asked with an over flirtatious tone.

“You cannot,” Gerard laughed at him as he struggled to get out from Frank’s vicelike grip. “Let me go, I need to shower,” he whinged.

“Nope,” Frank replied, purposely popping the ‘p’.

“Remember that time when we watched _Gremlins_?” Frank nodded. “It would be a shame if people found out you started to cry when you saw that mogwai, Gizmo, because he was, and I quote, ‘too cute.’”

“You w-wouldn’t _dare_!” Frank gasped in (fake) horror.

Gerard also raised an eyebrow, “Oh, but I _so_ would,” he teased. “Now, let me go and have a shower and we’ll never speak of it again. Agreed?”

“Okay,” Frank huffed before releasing Gerard from his grip. “A-agreed. Be back soon t-though.”

“I will,” Gerard said whilst turning around and chastely kissed him on the lips before staggering up from the floor and walking towards the small en suit in his room. “Oh, Frank?” Gerard spoke as he stood in the doorway of the bathroom.

“What?”

“Love you,” he grinned. Frank instantly turned a deep red colour and timidly smiled back.

“Love you, t-too.” He said before Gerard closed the door behind him and turned on the shower.

Frank stayed sat on the floor, listening to the water steadily hit the procaine of the bath in the other room. He started to think about what Gerard had told what Donna had said to him. He hoped he didn’t come across as desperate, needy or clingy to others, especially to Gerard. Granted, Gerard was the first person in years that showed him any form of consideration of how he felt, but that wouldn’t have made him anymore even though that’s what it could look like.

He decided that he’d make more friends to prove Donna wrong. He wasn’t fully depended on Gerard. He wasn’t. He’d talked briefly to someone named Ray in his first History class back in school, perhaps they could become friends. It was the same with Mikey, Frank thought to himself. If he talked to Gerard’s brother more as well as Ray, he could double the amount of friends he had. Simple.

He was brought out of his thoughts when he heard Gerard turn off the shower and the low hum stopped. Frank heard Gerard fumble with the door handle for half a second before opening the door. A stream of warm, almost humid, steam emerged from the room in a single gust.

“You’re still in the floor,” Gerard stated as he tried to flatten down his hair, still in his towel wrapped securely around his waist. His hair was sticking up in every possible angle and nothing he did would make it lay flat like before. “This is why I don’t wash it often,” he huffed before sitting down next to Frank again.

Frank felt the warmth radiating off Gerard’s body and pressed against his soft skin unconsciously. He started to twist small strands of Gerard’s wet hair into tight curls, allowing them to stay curled for a few seconds before unwinding them again. He kept on doing up until Gerard’s skin started to have goose bumps form all up his arms.

“I need to put actual clothes on, Frank,” he said, gently pushing Frank away from him while whispering a quick apology so he didn’t feel hurt by the gesture. “Once I’m dressed we could go out and get breakfast. It could be a late birthday present since yesterday didn’t go to plan,” he suggested while standing up.

“L-like a date?” Frank blurted out before he could stop himself.

Gerard laughed and nodded. “Sure, whatever you want to call it, sugar. Let’s say it’s our first ‘official’ date, then?” he said with a wink, making Frank’s cheeks turn a shade of deep red.

***

Luckily, Donna didn’t bother questions them about where they were going when the two boys hastily walked out of the basement, giggling to themselves quietly. Frank gave a shy wave and Gerard said a quick goodbye to his mother before grabbing his money and keys from the little table and nearly pushing the other boy out of the front door.

She realised that her advice didn’t sink in. Gerard was blinded by his new love interest and couldn’t see the warning signs for Frank hanging onto him because he had no one else he was comfortable with.

“Have fun,” she said in a huff to the closed door.

***

Both of them ran, laughing, down the street together, the cool early November breeze flowing through their hair. While running, Gerard reached out for Frank’s closest hand and held it tightly, squeezing his fingers lightly. Frank grinned at Gerard when he felt the other person’s hand touch his. He shook his head, getting the hair that had fallen in front of his face out of his eyes, just before he started to slow down their pace.

“W-where are w-we going?” Frank asked. At this point they’d both stopped sprinting to wherever Gerard had planned. Frank rested his hands on his knees and bent over slightly, trying to get air into his lungs.

“A cafe-come-bookstore,” Gerard said simply. “It’s one of my favourites, actually. It’s just around the corner now.”

Frank nodded and allowed himself to be pulled by Gerard to the small cafe which, as Gerard said, was just around the corner of the street they were standing on.

The cafe was obviously a privately run business. It was small and had exposed red bricks decorating the exterior of the building. Outside of the building there was a selection of mismatching wooden chair and tables, scattered with the morning’s news papers, random books, mugs and china plates from the morning rush. It was cute and had a very Paris vibe coming from it, which looked out of place in urban, built-up m New Jersey, but somehow it fitted into the building around it.

“Come on, let’s go inside,” Gerard said excitedly, bouncing on the balls of his feet and continue to drag Frank along by the hand.

***

As Frank thought, the inside of the cafe slash bookstore was similar to the outside. The exposed brick theme carried on inside with a few shelves with colourful potted plants, books, news papers and magazines placed decoratively on them, which broke up the plain look. Most of the walls were decorated this way expect one wall. This wall was one, huge bookcase filled with every book imaginable. The bookcase filled the wall, side to side, floor to ceiling. Frank had never seen anything so impressive, not even in libraries.

He was in awe.

“Wow,” he whispered in a stunned silence. He turned to Gerard with wide eyes and saw Gerard smirking at him.

“I know. Impressive, right?” Gerard replied in the same tone as Frank. “Go and sit over there then. I'll order us breakfast.”

Frank walked over to the nearest empty table with two plush, blue armchair style seats and sat down in one of them.

Even though it was past the usual time people went out to have breakfast, there were still small groups of people sitting around circular tables with their laptops placed on the surfaces and talking in hushed tones to one another. Occasionally, Frank heard one group give out a few laughs and agreeing noises in their conversation. They looked like college students, or people just out of education, and as much as Frank hated stereotyping, they did fit under the ‘hipster’ category almost too well.

Within a few minutes of sitting down Gerard approached Frank, carrying too mugs of steaming coffee while balancing two plates of pastries on his forearms precariously.

Frank jumped up, causing the chair to make a shrill scrapping sound on the hardwood floor which made a few people cringe and look up from their books. Frank ducked his head and muttered a string of quick apologies before walking towards Gerard and getting the two plates that had started to tilt a bit too many for Frank’s liking.

“Y-you could’ve called m-me,” Frank laughed quietly whilst putting the plates onto the table behind him.

“You looked comfy there. And, besides, I didn’t want anyone else taking our seats,” he spoke while walking around Frank to the opposite blue hair and sitting down.

“There’s o-only nine people here, in-including us,” Frank pointed out.

“You looked comfy,” Gerard repeated with a shrug and smiled at Frank. He passed him a plate and the coffee from the other side of the table. “So, what do you think?” he asked while ripping a chunk out of his breakfast before stuffing it in his mouth.

“I l-love it. It’s s-so nice an-and peaceful,” Frank gushed. “H-how did you f-find it?”

“I used to come here a lot with my grandma and Mikey we were younger. She loved it here and I guess it was passed on to me,” he said with a sad smile. “Mikey doesn’t like it here, though. He prefers louder places. This isn’t his scene, really.”

Frank reached across the table between then and put his hands on the top of Gerard’s to show some kind of support. He gave Gerard a weak smile which he returned before taking his hands from underneath Frank’s. “S-she must’ve been a g-great woman,” Frank said low enough that only Gerard could hear, even though the cafe was more or less silent.

Gerard gave a happier smile this time. “She definitely was,” he nodded. “But she didn’t want us to be sad when she passed, so we shan’t.”

Their conversations flowed easily, as they knew it would. They talked about comics, art, music and anything else that came into their minds at the time. As they hadn’t been away from each other, unless one was asleep or showering, they didn’t have many stories to share. Gerard dominated the conversations with back stories about when he and Mikey were younger and exposing some of Mikey’s more embarrassing secrets.

“When Mikey was either three or four, he started to cry in a restaurant because the toy he received in a kids’ meal was one he already had and my mom refused to get it changed,” Gerard said, laughing at the memory. “He cried for ages, but my mom, stubborn as ever, said no and told him if he wanted another one so badly he had to ask the person at the registers. I was either five or six at the time, so I had an identical meal and got a different toy. Mikey saw and nearly threw himself over the table to get it,” he said while laughing.

“No,” Frank wheezed, “w-what toy was i-it?”

“Probably one of those spin-tops – every one had a different superhero or super villain on it and Mikey happened to want, or _need_ , the one I had. But as an equally stubborn child, I refused and he kept on screaming and crying.”

“Didn’t y-you get kicked o-out?”

“Yes, we did. I think we were banned, too. They manager said we were ‘distressing the other customers’ or some shit like that. They didn’t tell us how long we were banned but I don’t think we’d be welcomed back, although it’s been over ten years now.”

Frank tried to hold in his laughter by clamping his mouth shut. He felt the pressure rise and his cheeks began to turn a faint pink. Eventually, the pressure of holding in his laughter became too much and he spluttered, allowing himself to laugh. “No,” Frank said again, with tears running down his face. “R-really?!”

“Yes, really,” Gerard laughed back. “It sounds so stupid now, looking back on it. Thinking about it, I don’t think I have that toy anymore and I doubt Mikey remembers it anymore.”

“W-we should ask when we g-get back.”

“I wouldn’t say a word about it if you like your life,” Gerard joked. In spite of that, Frank continued to laugh. The once irregular tears had become a waterfall of them. The younger boy wrapped his arms around his stomach and leaning over, resting his head on the table.

“S-sorry,” Frank apologised, tears still running down his face. All Gerard could do was smile fondly at Frank and shake his head in dismay. At least Frank was crying with laughter which was miles better than crying due to fear, Gerard thought to himself.

Frank let out a few calming breaths and wiped the tears from his cheeks before looking back at Gerard with a wide grin on his face – his eyes and face still red from the laughing.

After Frank had ceased giggling, the door to the small cafe was flung open with a small _ding_ from the bell placed just above the door. Gerard turned around to get a better view of who had just walked in with such force. He saw all three of them standing in a tight group near the door as they scanned the room. No one else seemed to notice them as the majority of the customers had their headphones in, meaning they couldn’t hear them enter.

Gerard felt his heart sink when the boy in the middle, perhaps the leader of the group, pointed both him and Frank out and smirked.

The group consisted of three well built, stereotypical jocks – the people you’d instantly link with homophobia and other close-minded opinions. They were also tall, really tall. Neither Frank nor Gerard were the tallest for their age group, especially not Frank, but in their school everyone was a similar height. Things were very different in the local high schools in their area, apparently.

The group made their way over to the table they were sitting, expertly dodging chairs and walking around the tightly packed tables.

“Here on a date, are we, lover boy?” the boy – who Gerard had labelled the leader – jeered down at them both. The other two of his gang let out loud, obnoxious laughs like it was the funniest thing they’d ever heard.

In a split second, Gerard felt a mix between anger, adrenaline and confidence rush through his veins. He thought up an apology for Frank as he decided to speak back. Besides, they were in a public area, they couldn’t get beaten up.

“We actually are,” Gerard said with confidence, cocking an eyebrow. Frank paled. “Have a problem with that?”

“Ha, fags,” he spat.

“I prefer the term ‘gay’, myself. However, if your tiny, pea sized brain can’t cope with that word, then I understand.” He said coolly. The two other boys stopped their obnoxious laugher and glared down at them both.

Gerard saw the fiery anger in the leader’s eyes as he looked him straight in the eye. Gerard kept his best calm façade, unwilling to show them how scared he was.

“Whatever, faggots. The words from your cock sucking little mouth don’t mean shit to me.”

“Oh, darling,” Gerard said with fake sympathy. “There’s no need to be jealous. I’m sure these two lovely boys behind you will like you to give them a blowjob if you ask nicely,” he said in a sickly-sweet voice while gesturing to the two people stood behind him.

He heard one of the other boys gag behind him. “Don’t worry, sugar. Your gag reflexes will stop being as strong soon. You’ll get better,” he said and winked overdramatically at the person who made the sound. “Come on,” he said to Frank, “we should go before they start getting too jealous.” He grabbed Frank’s hand and quickly pulled him up.

They walked together, hand in hand, passed the three jocks without looking at them. They kept their walk as natural as possible, even though Frank was shaking violently.

Gerard leaned close to Frank’s ear and whispered, “When we get outside, we run, okay?” Frank nodded quickly.

Gerard turned to face the group behind them and said in his ever so sickly-sweet voice, “Bye, guys. Nice meeting you,” he said with a small wave before pushing open the door and walking out with Frank. “We run. Now,” Gerard commanded as he dragged Frank along with him, running towards his house, adrenaline still pumping through his veins.

***

Gerard reached the front door first as Frank locked the garden gate behind them. He fumbled with the house keys for a few seconds before he heard the, more than welcome, click of the lock sliding open and flung the door open.

“In,” Gerard panted and pushed Frank through the front door, not allowing him time to react. Frank stumbled, but caught his balance and walked a couple of steps into the hallway which gave Gerard space to come in.

Gerard staggered in and pushed the door closed. He pressed his back against it and sank slowly to the floor with a soft sigh. “You don’t think they followed us, do you?” he asked.

Frank looked through the peephole and saw no one except an elderly lady walking by with her shopping. “I-I don’t think so,” he replied. He walked backwards and sat down opposite Gerard and crossed his legs. “W-why?” he asked.

“’Why’ what?”

“W-why did you s-say that to them? T-they could have h-hurt us. T-they could’ve hurt _you_.”

Gerard didn’t have a proper reason for the way he acted, he truly didn’t, but it showed them that they couldn’t push him around and insult him. Also, he didn’t give them the reaction they wanted: him getting angry or crying about it.

“Just felt like it. Didn’t you find it funny?” Gerard asked rather defensively.

Frank sighed and nodded. Admittedly, it was one of the funniest things anyone had ever done while defending themselves from the abuse. He wished he had done the same with his parents, but he knew that it would just anger them, specially his father, more.

“Don’t worry about it, sweetheart. They don’t know where we live. We’re safe,” he said with a smile that Frank returned. “We should probably move from the door and start our homework.”

Frank groaned in annoyance and pouted like a spoiled child.

“Frank,” Gerard said in a mock annoyed voice and raised his eyebrow. “We have to do it otherwise the nuns will make us stay in detention for every lunch that week. And believe me, you do not want a detention with them.”

With another groan, Frank lifted himself up from the floor and offered to lift Gerard up, like he had done so many times before. “Let’s g-go, then,” he said with a sad sigh before the two of them slowly walked down to Gerard’s bedroom.

***

Typically, when Frank did his homework, he did it in complete silence as that was what his parents wanted him to do it. They believed anything but dead silence would be a distraction for him, but this proved to not be the case.

Gerard chose an armful of CDs to play quietly while they opened their geography textbooks to start with the questions the nun had set them weeks before.

After five minutes, Gerard let out an annoyed grunt and Frank looked up at him with a confused look. “I don’t understand tectonic plates. It makes no sense!” he exclaimed before he threw his book onto his bed.

“W-what’s the question? I could h-help,” Frank suggested.

Gerard begrudgingly crawled to his bed to retrieve the textbook he had just thrown. He grabbed it and flicked through the pages before finding the section he needed and showed it to Frank.

The other boy skim read the information in front of him before nodding knowingly. “O-okay, do you have t-three different type of p-plate margins: con-constructive, destructive a-and conservative ones, r-right?” he started. “If y-you think about i-it logically, ‘constructive’ is l-like ‘construct’ w-which means ‘build’. B-because the p-plates move a-away from each o-other, the m-magma rises t-to the surface – m-making a n-new crust or l-land mass.

Destructive o-ones are t-the ones which m-move towards e-each other. There are t-three of these b-but the main o-one is oceanic-continental. The f-first two o-of these is when o-one plate goes under t-the other. Continental p-plates are less dense t-than oceanic ones,” he said and looked at Gerard to make sure that he was still following on. Gerard nodded again, “t-this means that the oceanic o-one g-goes under the c-continental ones. Got it?

Finally, c-conservative margins are w-where your earthquakes m-mainly come from. There’s n-no volcanic eruptions b-because they just s-slide past o-one another. Y-you know w-where San Francisco and LA a-are, yeah?” Frank asked, “t-there’s where the San Andreas Fault i-is, and t-that’s why they s-seem to have so m-many earthquakes. Once y-you understand t-the basics, it’s s-simple,” he concluded.

Gerard started at Frank with his mouth open in shock. “How did... how did you know that?” he asked in amazement.

Frank shrugged and blushed. He didn’t like talking about things he knew in depth because it could look like he was showing off. “N-not sure, Gee. Did i-it help?”

“It did a lot, thank you.” He smiled as he quickly wrote down what Frank had just dictated to him.

They started to do the work set out of them in silence again, with only the sound of Gerard’s music playing softly in the background.

 

What seemed like an eternity later, they both finished the questions set. Both boys stretched their aching back muscles and groaned in sync.

“What time is it?” Gerard asked as he stretched out over Frank crossed legs.

Frank looked over at the small digital clock on Gerard’s and squinted his eyes to get a better focus on the time. “T-ten to seven,” Frank read.

“Ugh, it’s late. Why did that take us so long?” The older boy whined before wriggling around on Frank folded legs.

“I d-don’t know,” Frank laughed. He started to run his hands through Gerard’s hair, removing any knots. “You s-should wash your h-hair more,” he said without thinking.

“Why? So you can run your hands through it more without them getting covered in grease?”

“That a-and it’s so _soft_.”

“Soft?”

“Y-yeah. Keep on w-washing it. I like i-it.”

“Okay, anything for you, love,” Gerard smiled. “As comfy as this is and all, we should probably go and eat something. We haven’t eaten since this afternoon.”

As if on cue, Frank’s stomach rumbled and they both chuckled. Together they stood up, using one another as a balance because they’d been sitting for far too long in one position, meaning their legs had lost all feeling.

“Ow,” Frank whined as the pins and needles took over his right foot, shortly followed by the rest of that leg.

“We’ll have to walk it off. No pain no gain, right?” Gerard said, putting quotation marks around it as they hobbled up the stairs.

***

Donna had cooked them a basic meal which was just pasta in some vegetable sauce, but Frank appreciated it all the same. Unlike his birthday, they didn’t eat until they felt physically sick, so he didn’t have an excuse for Gerard to carry him bridal-style down the stairs anymore.

Gerard’s mom had insisted on them both saying in the kitchen and talking to them about school and how they were coping in their new classes. Overall, both Frank and Gerard had settled in and felt able to do the work, but Donna wanted more.

Not wanting to be rude, as always, Frank answered the questions which were directed at him in the most detail he could give without overselling himself.

Eventually Donna got all the information she wanted of the two boys and dismissed them with a quick wave of the hand and a smile. She told them not to stay up too late as the person from social services would arrive between nine and ten in the morning, and she wanted them both, especially Frank to look, as she put it, presentable and not looking like they’d both been pulled through a hedge backwards in a category five hurricane.

Although they laughed, they knew how serious tomorrow was going to be for Frank. Depending on the judgment of the person interviewing Frank, it would make his life considerable better or considerable worse.

They just had to wait until the morning.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to revise for my Geography AS exam but I also wanted to update this, so that's why Frank went on a long, and pretty boring speech about plate margins. (I really hope it's accurate as I had to cut it down a bit because otherwise it would've turned into a Geography essay rather than a fic.)  
> But now you've maybe learned something you didn't know before.
> 
> This chapter is just under 5.9k words, (I could have easily split this up into two chapters, but I didn't), but this could make up for how infrequently I'm updating. 
> 
> Also, I have a rough idea about how this is going to end, and there's potential for a sequel, too.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!  
> xo
> 
>  
> 
> (Also, I haven't reread this yet, so if you do spot typos/grammatical errors or me just using the wrong words in places, tell me so I can correct it ASAP)


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updating every Saturday/Sunday will start soon. 
> 
> Enjoy this kind of rushed chapter as it's a really long filler but more good things should be happening to Frank soon (a hint for you all).
> 
> Anyway, enjoy.  
> xo

“Frank, Gerard,” Donna called from the top of that staircase, “you need to get up and change. The person from social services will be over in two hours and both of you need to look presentable.”

The younger of the two let out a sleepy groan and rolled over, hoping to sleep some more as they did have two hours before the person came over to talk to Frank. Besides, getting ready wouldn’t take _that_ long, he thought to himself.

Gerard poked his side gently, making Frank curled up into the foetal position. Gerard laughed. “I know it’s early, but you need to get up, shower and change into something that isn’t old pyjamas or jeans. Today’s really important.” He tried to persuade Frank who was still curled up and pretending to sleep. “I’ll throw the covers of the bed, then,” Gerard threatened, cocking an eyebrow.

Frank protested by gripping onto the covers tightly, wrapping them around him more, and making Gerard’s job of taking them off him that little bit harder.

“Frank,” Gerard said in an exasperated voice. “Come on.” Gerard stood up and started tugging on the sheets in an attempt to get Frank out of them, but they didn’t budge. Frank rolled on the bit of the covers that was under his body, making Gerard fall on top of him. Gerard felt off of the air quickly escape his lungs with the impact.

Frank giggled and continued to roll, bringing Gerard with him despite the other boy’s sounds of protest.

“Don’t w-want to get up yet,” Frank said with a small whine.

Gerard huffed with irritation and regained the footing he once had on his bedroom floor. He straightened his pyjama top and looked down at Frank, still in bed. “You have no choice, Frank. Do you want to go back to your parents’ house?” he threatened – a real threat.

Frank snapped his head around, staring up at Gerard in utter shock. His eyes widened and his heart rate picked up, shortly followed by a small stinging sensation in his eyes. He was going to cry. “N-no,” he managed to say.

He clambered out of bed as quickly as he could, grabbed any clothes he could find that weren’t in the pile designated for dirty clothes and rushed into the bathroom opposite. He locked the door behind him.

Gerard rolled his eyes as he walked towards the bathroom door. He sat down in front of it, legs crossed, and knocked a few times. “Frank, you know I didn’t mean that. Don’t be sad. It’s early – I’m tired. You know I wouldn’t let you go back there, my mom certainly wouldn’t know she’s actually met your mom.” Gerard’s apology was received with silence from Frank. The only sound that came from behind the closed door was Frank’s light footsteps on the tile floor and the occasional rustle of clothes as he changed.

Gerard sat in silence for a while longer until he heard Frank approach and unlock the door. He scooted backwards, allowing the door to swing open and to let the other boy out of the bathroom. He looked at Frank who’d changed into some relatively new black, tight jeans and a white button up shirt. This was a formal look, in Frank’s opinion.

Frank looked down to meet Gerard’s gaze. “W-what?” he asked with a small sigh.

“Sorry about what I said,” Gerard said, dropping Frank’s gaze and fiddling with his thumbnail.

“S’fine,” the other boy said with a shrug. “Y-you didn’t mean it. Now, _y-you_ need to change.”

Gerard laughed and picked himself up from the floor. He walked the couple of steps towards Frank and snaked his arms around his waist, pulling him into an embrace. Frank copied; draping his arms over the old boy’s neck and resting his cheek on his shoulder.

Gerard’s hair still had a faint smell of strawberry from the day before. Whenever the light caught it right, his jet black hair glistened every so slightly, making Frank smile. “You s-should wash your h-hair more. I-it’s nice,” he compliment, running his fingers through a few strands and twisting it around his fingers.

“Yeah? Do you like it?” Gerard asked as he unlaced his hands from Frank’s back, stepped back from the hug and placing a quick kiss on his lips.

Frank smiled softly and nodded with a blush rising on his cheeks.

“I’ll go and get changed. Then, we can both wait upstairs for whoever’s going to come. When they come, do you want me to stay with you or wait here?”

Frank had already thought about whether he wanted anyone else in the room or not while the social worker was asking him questions. He quickly ruled out both Donna and Mikey; believing that they weren’t close enough or untrustworthy, especially Mikey.

He didn’t have to tell Donna what happened at his family’s home as Gerard had cracked, telling her everything he’d told him. It still hurt him a bit knowing that the person who he trusted more than anything confessed his deepest secrets. However, he did see in the long run how it could make his left better. For example, he was seeing someone about it and, as Donna has put it once, get justice.

He wasn’t sure how these cases worked in court. He’d seen small snippets of TV programmes of trials. But these ones were of high profile murder cases in overdramatized shows, so it probably wasn’t a realistic interpretation. The one thing he did know was that it wasn’t cheap at all. They had to get some kind of lawyer involved, getting a date set for the trial and so on. The most important part was getting his parents there to try and defend their side. That was the difficult bit.

A pang of guilt washed over Frank. Donna had taken him under her wing, into her house and now was going to pay for him to stand up for himself in court. How much money had she spent on him in the time he’d been there? – Which worryingly, wasn’t long at all.

“Oh, um... C-can I be a-alone? It would b-be easier,” Frank said, however it came out more like a question.

“Whatever makes you comfortable, darling,” Gerard said with a smile, leaning down to kiss him again before he grabbed an armful of clothes and made his way into the bathroom.

***

Once they were both dressed appropriately they made their way up the stairs and into the kitchen to say good morning to Gerard’s mom.

Donna looked up from the usual local newspaper with a mug of coffee in her hand and smiled at the two boys stood in front of her. “You did dress suitably for once,” she laughed. “Go and sit in the living room until person comes. You still have a good hour to wait. Keep yourselves entertained by watching TV, but when I call you, Frank, you need to come quickly because I don’t want whoever waiting for too long,” she spoke with a slight firm tone. “Besides, you know I can’t do small talk,” she chuckled.

Both boys nodded in unison at her request and walked into the other room, flopping down onto the sofa.

Gerard turned to face Frank with a smirk spreading on his lips. “So,” he said in a slow, seductive voice, “what do you want to do to keep ourselves ‘entertained’?”

Frank played along, copying Gerard’s smirk and raising an eyebrow. “Well...” Frank replied in a low voice which made Gerard’s pupils dilate, covering the majority of his hazel/green irises.

The older boy started to crawl up the sofa on his hands and knees. Frank saw him moving and started to move back when he saw Gerard inch forwards. Eventually, Frank was sitting on the armrest of the seat and looked down at Gerard lazily and giggled.

Gerard looked up and tilted his head in a confused manner.

“This...this p-position. It’s s-so... compromising,” he explained, trying to hold back another high-pitched giggle.

“Oh, is it now?” Gerard asked flirtatiously and Frank nodded, still laughing. Gerard continued to edge closer to Frank, but now Frank didn’t have anywhere to go and falling off the armrest didn’t seem like a good option to him.

“S-stop,” he laughed, pushing Gerard back gently. “You m-mom is in t-the _other_ room,” he said, empathising the close proximity they were from Donna. “S-she doesn’t like u-us together, so her h-here...that w-wouldn’t be the b-best.”

Gerard sighed and feigned a rejected expression, clutching his heart overdramatically. His hurt facade didn’t last long, though. Seconds later he grinned and pulled Frank onto his lap. “You have a point...” he admitted before attaching his lips onto the other boy’s neck and sucking ever so slightly.

“ _Gerard_ ,” Frank gasped in shock at the new sensation on his sensitive spot just under his earlobe.

Gerard ignored him and carried on sucking and nibbling on the same spot, making Frank squirm and try to compress small moans of pleasure by shoving his fits in his mouth and biting hard. It was a weird sensation that Frank hadn’t felt before and never thought it would feel as nice as it did at that moment.

“Don’t be quiet,” Gerard begged in a hoarse voice.

“Your m-mom,” Frank reminded him between extremely quiet moans. However, Gerard ignored his concern and started so suck harder, probably making a dark purple/blue bruise where his mouth had been. Next he moved to Frank’s earlobe, licking it painfully slowly. Frank fidgeted and let a throaty moan slip past his lips. It was getting too much and Donna was less than two hundred meters away from them, with a thin wall and door separating them from one another.

“Stop,” Frank panted, pushing him away with more force.

Gerard mumbled something under his breath before moving away from Frank’s neck and inspecting the mark he’d more than likely just made. He saw that newly forming bruise on his neck and let a mischievous smile plaster his face.

“W-what?” Frank asked, rubbing the sore area on his throat.

Gerard laughed. “Go and have a look.”

Frank cautiously walked over to the long mirror and moved his hair to the side, examining the area where Gerard’s mouth had been. At first he didn’t see any difference, he skin was still pale and blemish-free.

“Look closer,” Gerard called from the other side of the room.

Frank leaned closer to the mirror, and sure enough, there was a small bruise forming over that exact spot. He knew it would just grow from there. He groaned. “H-how am I going t-to hide _that_?”

Gerard shrugged, giving Frank a sly smiled. Frank rolled his eyes and sat back down next to him. “Idiot,” he muttered under his breath.

“You didn’t seem too bothered when you were moaning and wriggling in my lap. You were nearly begging for more, weren’t you, Frank-“

“Shut u-up,” Frank said, punching Gerard’s arm, blushing a dark red shade.

They argued for a few minutes, Frank unwilling to accept what Gerard was telling him. He blocked his ears, making random noises to cover Gerard’s voice in the most childlike way possible. All this achieved was Gerard laughing at him and kissing the side of his mouth. But their argument was interrupted by Donna calling for Frank from the kitchen.

Gerard squeezed Frank’s hand and whispered some encouraging words into his ear before he stood up to walk down to his bedroom, allowing Frank to talk to the social worker in peace.

***

Frank walked anxiously into the kitchen, fiddling with his fingers awkwardly, to face Donna and a women he didn’t recognise – probably the social worker.

Once Frank was in the room, the two women stopped their hushed conversation and smiled in unison at his. Their smiles looked as fake as possible but he let it slide and uncomfortably waved at them both.

“I’ll get going. I need to drop Mikey off at school before work,” Donna said as she stood up and exited the room, living Frank and the new woman alone in the kitchen.

“So, you must be Frank,” the woman said with another smile, but genuine this time. Frank had been expecting an older woman with grey, curled hair and glasses around her neck on a beaded chain, basically a stereotypical old woman. However, the woman sat in one of the dining chairs was young – perhaps in her early twenties. She had long brown/blonde hair which reached her shoulders, dark brown eyes and pale skin. She wore red lipstick which enhanced her pale complexion. “I’m Miss Smith, but you can call me Chrissy if you’re more comfortable with that.” She pushed a chair out opposite her for Frank to sit down on.

“T-thanks,” Frank mumbled shyly as he made his way over to the dining table. He sat down quickly and instantly started looking down on the table surface, avoiding Chrissy’s gaze. Maybe he should’ve asked Gerard to come.

“Do you know why I’m here and what we need to talk about?” she asked calmly. Frank nodded his response. “Okay, good. You have to be honest and tell me everything-“

Frank interrupted her, “I k-know. Donna’s been t-through this.”

“Great!” she said slightly too enthusiastically. “Shall we start?”

Frank nodded again and took in a deep breath.

“We’re going to start from the beginning – the very beginning. Do you remember how it all started?”

He squeezed shut his eyes and started to confess everything his parents had done to him over the years. He didn’t spare detail on the punches, kicks, beatings, insults, and neglect. He realised there was no point; she’d find out one way or another. Whether he, Donna or Gerard told her, she’d know eventually.

Throughout the questioning, Frank had to wipe a couple of tears from his eyes. Chrissy had tissues ready for him as well as a supportive smile and a few words of encouragement before he started to speak again.

Half way through the questions, he heard Donna shout a quick goodbye to both boys and Mikey groan as they headed out to work and school. Frank listened closely to what Gerard was listening to on his CD player downstairs and he swore he the distinct chorus of _Starman_ by David Bowie playing softly. He smiled to himself but managed to hide it as a cough so Chrissy didn’t think he was smiling about how he was treated. He didn’t want to seem psychotic.

“Last question, finally,” Chrissy announced with an airy laugh. “I see you’ve been living with the Way’s for a few days, correct?”

“Y-yes.”

“How would you feel about living with them permanently?” she asked casually, tapping the pen on her bottom lip.

Frank’s started at her, wide-eyed. “I…” he managed to spit out before going quiet again.

“Donna and I have already discussed it and she’s fine with it. She can see you’re a nice kid, Mikey seems to like you and Gerard, too,” she said, “Especially Gerard, come to think of it,” she said and quirked her eyebrow.

Frank suddenly remembered what was on his neck and tried to cover the darkening bruise. Chrissy laughed at his attempt to hide it.

“D-don’t tell Donna,” he begged.

The woman shook her head and promised she wouldn’t. “Why? Is she bothered about it? She doesn’t strike me as the homophobic type.”

“N-no, it’s not t-that,” Frank admitted guiltily. “She d-don’t like us – G-Gerard and I.”

Chrissy put the pen on the table and rested her elbows on it. She leaned forwards a bit and looked at Frank with a genuinely interested expression. “Do you know why she doesn’t like you and Gerard being together if she isn’t homophobic?”

“S-she says I’m only w-with him because he was t-the first person who c-cared enough about me. And t-that I’m using him…”

“Are you using him?”

“No!” Frank said in a defiant voice.

“Then why are you letting it affect you if it’s not true?”

“She t-thinks I just lo- I mean _like_ h-him because I’m desperate and have n-no other friends,” he said sadly.

“Has she ever said this to your face?”

“No, but-“

“Then you shouldn’t think about it, okay? I’m sure she doesn’t think this. Anyway, you’ve only been in your school for a short time – you can’t make friends instantly, it doesn’t work like that. Try and speak to other people in your classes,” she suggested.

“I h-have…”

“Good! That’s a start. Keep with it, got it?”

Frank agreed and looked up at her. He smiled as a ‘thanks’ and she smiled back.

“I need to get going, but someone will phone Donna within a week or so about,” she said, nodding towards the notebook that Frank had forgotten about, “this.”

“Uh... I’ll s-show you out,” Frank offered and stood up, walking towards the front door and opening it.

She collected her things and followed Frank to the door. When she got there, she turned around to face Frank. She offered him a small smile before saying, “Good luck, Frank. We’ll be in touch soon. Stay safe,” and walking out of the house towards her car.

Frank locked the door behind him and sighed. He turned around to walk downstairs to tell Gerard it was okay to come back up.

“So, how did it go?” a voice came from the stop of the stairwell, making Frank’s heart skip a beat. Gerard notice Frank’s startled expression and laughed, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I got bored. You two were talking for hours. It’s almost eleven now and we haven’t eaten.”

“Oops, sorry,” Frank blushed. “Let’s g-go and get s-something to eat, then.”

“Wait,” Gerard said, grabbing Frank’s hand before he could walk into the kitchen again and turning the younger boy to face him. “We should eat outside. Maybe we should have a picnic?”

“It’s November,” Frank said, grinning nonetheless.

“So? It’ll be like before but a bit colder and without a river,” Gerard shrugged. “Should we do it like we did before where you got the blankets and I made the food?”

“Yeah,” Frank nodded eagerly before rushing off to their room to collect the blankets.

Gerard idly walked into the kitchen, pulling out the ingredients for sandwiches and other small snacks. He opened the refrigerator and grabbed a few bottles of lemonade and the special gluten Jell-O his mom bought before Frank came over.

He heard Frank run upstairs, missing a step and landing with a heavy _oomph_ and a groan of pain. Gerard tried to hold in his laughter, but failed when Frank turned the corner with his hair sticking up in every direction.

Gerard tried to hide his amused expression. “Have a nice-“

“Don’t” Frank groaning, knowing what was going to come next.

“-tip?” Gerard laughed triumphantly. Frank groaned, again, rolling his eyes at the older boy who nearly doubled over laughing.

Frank ignored him. “H-have you finished? I w-want to go,” he said, clutching onto the blankets he’d grabbed from the bedroom.

Gerard shook his head, still smiling, and walked to the work surfaces to make the food. Frank came up behind him, wrapping his arms around Gerard’s waist and started to rub small circles on the skin above his hipbones.

“If you want me to make food, you need to let me concentrate,” he said, turning his neck to kiss Frank on the cheek gently, before continuing to finish their early lunch. “Get a bag so we can put the blankets in food in and meet me in the living room in ten minutes.”

Frank made an incomprehensible sound as a reply and walked into the opposite room. He sat down on the old couch and hummed a random tune while Gerard finished making the sandwiches.

***

Frank and Gerard walked, like usual, hand-in-hand to the closest park. They did live in New Jersey, so the park wasn’t the picturesque, family-friendly park with children running around and playing. No, this park had seen better days; the swings were damaged as well as the slide and the attempt at a jungle gym probably didn’t meet any health and safety regulations, but it was a park. An open space.

“We’ll go over here,” Gerard nodded towards a clearing under two large trees. Their leaves were turning the typical autumnal colour – oranges, reds and browns, but it still looked perfect to them.

Frank dumped the blankets down and Gerard shortly followed by putting the bag of food down too.

Together they set out the blankets; spreading them neatly on the thinning grass of the park. It was still early – only around half past eleven in the morning – and the majority of people were in school or work, so it was pretty much empty if they excluded themselves.

“This is nice,” Gerard commented as he put the food out in front of them. “No homophobic asshole to ruin it like before,” he said with a small grin.

Frank, who had already started eating the food in front of his, nodded and tried to smile through his mouthful of bread.

“Oh my god,” Gerard giggled, “I love you so fucking much, you idiot.”

Frank mumbled something similar to ‘love you, too’, making Gerard splutter and cough at Frank’s attempt.

Gerard reached into the small bag beside him and pulled out his iPod, pressed shuffle and waited to see what would come on first. This time it was _Starman_ by David Bowie, again.

“I h-heard this when I w-was talking to Chrissy!” Frank said happily.

“Chris- Oh, the person from social services?” Gerard asked, facing the other boy. Frank nodded. “You haven’t told me what you were talking about. They already knew what was happening because we heard my mom talking about it.”

“S-she needed me to talk a-about it to here – f-for notes and references, I think. I j-just retold her w-what I told you,” he shrugged a little. “And then s-she asked me if I w-wanted to move-“

Gerard's heart dropped. He forgot that Frank would eventually have to _leave_ his house. Of course they’d still share a dorm in school, but over the vacations it could be harder to meet up depending on where Frank moved. What if he moved across the state? To a different-

“- in w-with you guys,” Frank finished, putting a halt to Gerard’s internal breakdown.

“What?” Gerard said, not trusting his hearing.

“S-she said that I c-could move in w-with you… forever?”

Gerard’s face broke into a massive smile; he felt like his face would physically break if he smiled any wider. “Really?” he squeaked in excitement and Frank nodded, copying Gerard’s smile. “Shit, you have to. There’s no way you’d not win this case. Your mom pretty much admitted it to my mom. Since they want to get rid of you so badly – sorry – they won’t argue, right?” Gerard blabbed.

“T-they wouldn’t want to g-get sent away. T-they’re respected w-where I’m from,” Frank sighed.

“We’ll find a way around this. When’s the court date? Shit, we need to get good enough clothes. They wouldn’t be happy if two punk kids walked in wearing jeans and a faded top. We need to-“

“Gerard,” Frank laughed over Gerard’s endless wittering, “t-they haven’t said a-anything. I only t-talked to her two h-hours ago. Calm down, w-we have time.”

“Sorry. I just want to get this right,” Gerard said, waving his hands in the air.

“We w-well,” Frank said, kissing the side of Gerard’s face. “C-can we just r-relax now and l-listen to Bowie?”

“I thought you’d never ask,” Gerard cooed in an effeminate voice, clasping his hands over his check over his heart.

***

It was a lot later than they first expected when they got back. They spent the majority of their day laying on the blanket, cloud watching, making out and going through all of Gerard’s songs. Though it wasn’t an official date, small trips out with just them together made Frank’s heart flutter, still.

When they got home, Donna had just gotten off the phone to Chrissy. Because of Frank’s circumstances, they’d hurried up the process and sorted through his papers quicker than usual.

“Yes, I’ll tell them when they get in – Oh, actually, that could be them now. Thank you so much, Chrissy, you’ve been a life saver. Literally,” Gerard’s mom said before hanging up.

Frank and Gerard tried to tiptoe down to the basement before Donna caught them. “Uh-huh, not too fast. Frank, I need to talk to you,” Gerard didn’t move. “Alone. Gerard, do you mind?”

Gerard let out an annoyed sound before moodily walking down a few steps hoping to fool his mother.

“What part of ‘alone’ don’t you understand, Gerard? I’m not stupid, I know you’ve only walked down three steps. Go.”

Frank laughed at Donna’s quips at Gerard before trying to put his best serious face on as he knew where this was going.

“The person who talk to you today – Chrissy – was just on the phone, and they’ve got some dates for court set up. They’re next weekend because the sooner this is over with, the better, right? They just need to get your parents into there too, which will be the most difficult part, other than that it should be fine,” Donna smiled to reassure Frank. “Did Chrissy tell you about the plan about living here?”

Frank heard Gerard let out a _whoop_ and could imagine him punching the air. Frank nodded eagerly and smiled.

Donna’s eyes flicked momentarily to Frank’s neck and her eyes narrowed a bit. “Oh, and Frank. Be careful with Gerard,” she warned.

“Y-yes. I, uh, will,” Frank stuttered before exiting the room.

***

“I h-heard you whoop, by t-the way,” Frank laughed the second he entered the room.

Gerard saw sat cross-legged on the floor, a sketchbook in his resting on his right thigh and his tongue poking out of the side of his mouth as he concentrated on the drawing.

“W-what are you doing?” Frank asked quietly, not wanting to shock Gerard, and sat down with him, copying his sitting position.

“Drawing.”

Frank looked down at the outline Gerard had started and tried to figure it out himself. He squinted his eyes and tilted his head to the side.

“You look so stupid. What are you doing?” Gerard laughed and _finally_ looked at Frank.

“T-trying to work it out.”

“You’ll have to wait until tomorrow,” he said with a wink.

“But-“

“Nope, no buts, sorry. You have to wait,” he said, tapping Frank on the nose with the pencil lightly, like someone would to do a dog. Frank groaned and went to sit on the bed.

“I want t-to know,” Frank started to whine.

“I’m not saying. You have to wait,” the other boy teased.

“But-“

Gerard lifted an eyebrow and looked up at Frank, “what did I say about buts?”

“W-what if-?”

“No.”

“T-tomorrow is so _f-far_ away.”

“If you sleep, tomorrow will come faster. Try and nap , baby, and I’ll join you in a second. I need to finish up the outline of this.” Gerard suggested.

Frank huffed out a sigh and silently kicked off his shoes and lay down on the bed. He pulled the fresh covers up to his chin and pouted.

Gerard saw Frank’s expression from the corner of his eye and smiled down at his sketchbook.

Soon enough, Frank had drifted off into a light sleep. Gerard checked he was fast asleep before crawling into bed, which was only just larger than a single bed but somehow fit them both perfectly.

Gerard positioned himself so that his chest was pushed up against Frank’s back and his knees were bent in a way that corresponded with the back on Frank’s comfortably. Gerard rested his forehead on the lower part of the back of Frank’s neck and let out a content sigh.

It only took him a few minutes until he fell into a peaceful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ps: I still need to check for spelling/grammatical errors in this so it'll probably be edited throughout the week if I find any.  
> xo


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A really bad, short filler chapter. However, I should be able to update today or tomorrow with a longer and better one.  
> xo

Frank jolted awake when he felt a small wet patch growing on the lower part of his neck as well as a small there, too. Frank let out a sleepy groan and stretched before turning around to face the cause of the dampness of the back of his shirt.

He heard another identical groan coming from the culprit who was making an uncomfortable sensation spread through his body.

“Gerard?” Frank said, sleep still evident on his voice.

The older boy murmured somewhat of a reply before sliding down the bed ever so slightly and pushing is head into Frank’s chest to shield his eyes from the sunlight. “’S early,” he slurred.

“I k-know,” Frank quietly laughed, “You were d-drooling on me,” he said whilst smoothing Gerard’s hair.

Gerard nuzzled gently on Frank’s chest. “Hm? Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

Frank laughed again, “Its f-fine. Let’s sleep a-again. I’m tired.” He wrapped his right arm around Gerard’s middling, pulling him closer. Gerard let out a content sound and smiled, pushing his face into Frank’s shirt more. It was still his usual day clothes, so it was kind of rough on his face, but it didn’t bother him.

They both quickly fell asleep again.

***

This time Gerard was the first to wake up because Mikey was notorious for leaving the house in the noisiest way possible.

“But why I do have to go to school and Frank and Gerard don’t have to go? How is that fair?” Mikey shouted, mid temper tantrum.

“Because they don’t go back until next week,” Donna said the annoyance clear in her voice. “Now, get out of the house before we’re both late.”

“But-“

“Mikey, now,” Donna shouted before Mikey stormed out of the house.

Gerard rolled his eyes. He didn’t see why Mikey made such a fuss about going to school. Yes, of course school wasn’t everyone favourite place. Yes, it was dull as fuck, but it was compulsory, unfortunately.

He decided that he should get up since he was already away. He gently moved Frank arm, which was still snaked around his waist, off him and sat up slowly and moved the strands of hair from his face.

Placing the palms of his hands on the mattress and his feet on the floor, he lifted himself from the bed. As he stood up, the weight made every joint click, making him cringe. He must’ve slept in an awkward position the night before as he neck felt stiff.

“Ugh,” Gerard complained to himself, massaging his neck a little to try and loosen muscles while walking around the room.

They were both still in their day clothes since they were only meant to nap but it turned out they both slept for over twelve hours.

Gerard walked towards the sketch he was doing and picked it up. He looked at the half-drawn picture of two people - him and Frank. The two half-finished figures were lying down in a close embrace. The first person, who happened to be Frank in the case, had his leg draped loosely on the other figure – Gerard – and both arms wrapped around his neck. Frank’s figure’s face was pressed up to Gerard’s, implying that he was pressing a soft kiss onto his cheek.

Gerard smile at the pictures. He walked to his desk, pushed some other paper’s aside and grabbed his pencils. He closed his eyes, envisioning the finished drawing, before putting pencil to paper and adding more detail to each person.

He drew them in the middle of a pile of fluffy blankets with some of them covering their lower halves. Gerard shaded in parts darker to imply that the lighting was dim, which gave the drawing a cosy, almost wintery, feel.

Gerard was so engrossed in his drawing that he didn’t notice the younger boy peering over his shoulder.

“W-what’s? – _oh_ ,” Frank said as he placed his hands on Gerard’s shoulders, staring down at the drawing on the piece of A4 paper on the desk.

“Frank!” Gerard yelped, covering the paper with both his hands. “It’s not ready yet. What are you..? Now it won’t be a surprise,” he sighed in defeat.

“Shhh,” Frank hushed him. “Y-you know I couldn’t w-wait. Plus, it i-is ‘tomorrow’.” He said, quoting Gerard with air quotation marks around ‘tomorrow’.

Gerard uncovered the picture, blushed and handed up to Frank. “It’s, uh, kind of rushed,” he said in an apologetic tone.

Frank took the drawing from Gerard’s outstretched arm and looked down at it. It took him a second to work out that it was them on one of their usual nights in watching a film.

“You’re so t-talented,” Frank said in awe. “H-have you thought a-about going to Art College?”

Gerard shrugged, “thought about going to SVA a few times, but it’s expensive.”

“Hm, yeah. T-true,” he said, kissing Gerard’s head before walking back to the bed, the drawing still in his hand. “Do you h-have any tape?”

“Why?”

“Want t-to stick this up.”

“Oh, yeah. Second draw down over there,” Gerard pointed vaguely to the chest of drawers next to the bed.

It only took Frank a few seconds to find the tape and stick up the drawing at the foot of the bed. He smiled fondly at it before getting off the bed. “Perfect,” he said to himself.

“Come on,” Gerard said, standing up from his chair. “Let’s go and do nothing for the rest of the day since no one’s going to be home for a bit.”

“L-like every day?” Frank laughed.

Gerard laughed with him, “No, shhh,” he said before taking Frank’s hand and walking to the living room.

***

The rest of the day they spent laying around on the couch, watching films and seeing how many pieces of popcorn they could get in their mouths if one of them threw it from the opposite side of the sofa. It turned out that Frank had a talent for it, catching ten in his mouth compared to Gerard’s pathetic three.

“We’re going to be finding bit of popcorn all over this room for months,” Gerard giggled.

“Oops?” Frank said, showing as much fake concern as possible, making Gerard giggle harder.

“My mom’s gonna be so pissed,“ Gerard laughed, just as Donna walked into the room.

“You’re right, Gerard. I will be so pissed. Clean up this mess before dinner, alright,” she said with a tut as she walked into the kitchen.

Frank and Gerard sighed in unison before shuffling off the couch and onto the floor to pick up ninety percent of the popcorn that had landed on the floor and between the gaps in the cushions, rather than their mouths.

***

Once Donna had finished cooking, she called the two boys to into the kitchen/dining area, she set three plates down.

“Where’s Mikey?” Gerard asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“With that girl,” she shrugged, “Kristin, I think her name is.”

Frank let out a high-pitched giggle at the mention of her name.

“What’s so funny, Frank?” Donna asked, looking perplexed.

“Nothing,” Gerard said quickly before Frank could speak. “Nothing,” he reassured her with a hasty smile.

***

Both of them were lying on Gerard’s bed with Frank angled awkwardly so his head is resting on Gerard’s chest. Gerard started to play with Frank’s hair, massaging his scalp lightly. Both of them sat in silence, looking up at the ceiling.

“Do you think Mikey will ever ask Kirstin out?” Gerard said, breaking the silence.

“Maybe? W-why?”

“Don’t know. Guess it would be nice for him not to be alone.”

“Aw,” Frank cooed, “sweet.”

“Shut up,” Gerard said, gently punching Frank’s arm. “Enough about him, we need to sleep anyways.”

Frank started to move but Gerard grabbed his arm before he could leave. “Don’t go. You’re warm,” he said, meekly, with a small grin.

Frank gave a sigh of defeat, “fine, whatever,” he muttered, lying back down with him.

“Love you,” Gerard whispered in the younger boy’s ear.

“L-love you more,” he hummed before closing his eyes a drifting off to sleep.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not too sure how courts and trail work, so I've based all my limited knowledge on How To Get Away With Murder and quick research via Google. Don't shout at me if this is all wrong because it's all my interpretation of a court scenario, I guess.  
> xo

It was finally the day of the court case. The few days previous to it seemed to fly by and no one seemed to be totally prepared for it, not even Donna.

“Okay, you need to be dressed formally. It’s a court. Jeans will not do – even your newest one, okay Gerard?” she said, facing her son.

“Yes, mom,” he sighed. “Why are you so worked up about this? We’ve got it, don’t be so fussed. There’s no way they’d let Frank go back. Besides, the social worker has seen how well Frank is treated here and I’m sure they’d be perfectly happy letting him live with us, even if it is temporary.”

“I know, I know,” she said irritably. “We just have to be ready. I bought you two some new clothes and they’re on the beds downstairs. Go and shower and then put them on. I expect you two to be up here, both dressed, by no later than 1PM. The case started at three and we need to be early,” Donna rushed through before half walking, half running into the living room to get Mikey ready.

“She’s so stressed,” Gerard whispered to Frank who was stood next to him.

“I c-can see,” he said with an airy laugh. “We s-should change before s-she has a breakdown.”

***

As promised, all of them (including Mikey) were ready and standing in the kitchen before one o’clock.

“Okay, good. You all look fine. We need to go now. I have directions,” she said, pacing around a bit. “Frank, Gerard, Mikey, get in the car. I’ll get the final things.”

“Mom,” Mikey laughed, “Breath, Jesus Christ. Like Gerard said, we’ll be fine. The people there have common sense; they’ll see that his biological parents won’t look after him. His mother almost cried with joy when you said that he was saying at ours, remember?”

“Yes, I know that, Mikey. I’m just anxious about this. A lot’s riding on today, that’s all.”

“We know,” Gerard and Mikey said in unison.

“Come on,” Frank said quietly, tugging on the sleeve of Gerard’s shirt, “We n-need to get into the car.”

***

The drive to the courtroom was fairly short. As they lived in New Jersey, one was practically in every town due to the high crime rates in some areas.

The building was a vast, concrete structure with barely any windows. Large fences with spicks adorning the top of them surrounded the court, equally as big gates, stopping anyone entering or existed without permission and an escort.

To normal people, the look alone of the building would strike fear straight into someone’s core, but not Frank. As intimidating as it looked, didn’t scare Frank at all. The thing, or rather people, that scared Frank were the people inside it, his parents.

Today was the day he was going to face them, but this time they would be separated with juries, police and any other forms of security they had in place. It was meant to be reassuring, safe, stable, but Frank didn’t feel this.

He didn’t want to see them, he didn’t want to send them to jail or make them face severe fines. Although they neglected him as well as physically and emotionally abused him, they were still his parents – the people who brought him into this world – and he loved them in some sick, twisted way. He didn’t want them to hate him even more, but this time with a genuine reason.

“Are you okay?” Gerard whispered softly into Frank’s ear, lacing their fingers together. He squeezed Frank’s hand to try and show some attempt of support.

“I’m f-fine,” Frank whispered, squeezing the other boy’s hand back.

“You’ll do fine. Just... don’t panic, okay? Try and breathe steadily throughout it.”

Frank tightly shut his eyes and nodded subtly.

“You three ready?” Donna asked, stopping the car in the parking area at the front of the court.

“Yeah, I am,” Mikey said. “Let’s go and kick some parents’ asses!” he shouted in a semi-battle cry and jumped out of the car.

Frank let out an airy laugh at Mikey’s enthusiasm which wasn’t shared by anyone else in the car.

“Okay, let’s get going there,” Donna said in a breath and got out of the car.

***

The walk up to where the case was being held took longer than expected. Firstly, they had to get past the guards, which was harder than anyone initially thought. All four of them had to give the woman standing at the little booth their full names, dates of birth and purpose of being there.

Secondly, they had to walk to the building. It was a long drive-like pathway up to the large double doors. However, they took their time. They spent the time going over what they would and wouldn’t say, and how to act and not to act in the courtroom.

Donna had done a bit of research into how to behave in front of the Judge. The main tip was to be extremely, if not overly, polite, and always say Your Honour while addressing them – it showed respect.

Once they reached the doors, they were checked for any dangerous weapons or anything that could be used to inflict harm. Gerard thought they were being slightly over the top, but when he showed signs of protest, the policeman, a big, well-built guy, told him about how someone nearly got murdered when one person didn’t check them for potential weapons properly. Gerard quickly agreed to the search after the shock of the story settled into his mind.

Finally, the checks were over and they were allowed into the main building. They were escorted to the reception desk were a young woman sat behind a computer.

“Hello, how may I help you all today?” she asked with a smile.

“Hello,” Donna greeted her. “I’m Donna Way and we’re here for a case for Frank Iero.”

The receptionist nodded and started to type. “I’m sorry, how do you spell his surname?” she asked.

“I-E-R-O,” Gerard spelled out for her, which she nodded again and typed in his last name.

“You were referred by Miss C. Smith,” she said, double checking.

“Yes, Chrissy Smith,” Donna confirmed.

“She’s set you all up a meeting with your lawyer. He’s in the other room, right now. Please, come with me,” she said, standing up from behind the desk and leading them into a small room

The room was a conventional office style with a desk and a couple of plush chairs around the room. A small potted plant was placed on the dark wood desk. Behind the desk, there was a large, leather padded chair which looked out of place in the mainly white and other light shaded room.

“Hello, Mr Roberts. Your clients are here,” the receptionist called from the door before ushering Donna, Frank, Gerard and Mikey into the room.

“Great, thank you,” the other man – Mr Roberts – said, and turned to face them. “Please, take a seat,” he gestured towards the four seats set out in front of the desk. “As you probably know, I’m your lawyer for today, and I’ll try my very best to win the case for you,” he smiled at Frank.

Donna nodded, “what will we have to do in there? Will we have to give our statements?”

“You don’t have to usually, no, but it depends. Every case is very, very different. I’ll do the majority of the talking, if you don’t mind. Miss Smith has sent me her notes from her talk with Frank from earlier this week and I’ve worked on a strong case for him. This, one top of the evidence, will make his case very plausible and we should get a positive result from this.”

“Uh, I have a question,” Mikey spoke up from the furthest chair.

“Sure, what is it?”

“Will I have to be there? I know that my mom and Frank have to be there, and probably Gerard, but do I?”

Mr Roberts looked up at Mikey with a small smile, “do you want to be in the courtroom?”

“No... Not really. Sorry, Frank,” he quickly apologised. Frank shrugged it off.

“We can’t force you, or anyone, to attend it if you aren’t directly affected. So, I guess, no you don’t. However, you’ll have to stay here. You could wait in my office if you don’t want to go. No one will be using it until the case is over with.”

“That’d be good, thanks!” Mikey said, smiling.

Their mother let out an exasperated laugh and shook her head. “If you didn’t want to come, why didn’t you say you? You could’ve stayed at home.”

“Didn’t know I was allowed to,” Mikey said offhandedly.

“Teenagers,” Mr Roberts laughed.

“Tell me about it,” Donna said with a smile.

A small clock in the corner chimed, informing everyone that it was now three in the afternoon – the time of the court case.

“It’s time,” the lawyer said, rubbing his hands together.

***

The court room was huge – bigger than anyone had expected. Along the right side of the room, there was a block of empty seats where the jurors would sit. Frank tried to count the empty seats and counted over fifteen.

Opposite the jury box there was a single table and chair. “What’s that for?” Donnas asked, pointing towards it.

“That’s where the clerk sits. They just report what’s going on,” the lawyer replied in a hushed tone.

There were two other tables with three chairs tucked neatly behind them, both parallel to one another. The one closest to the jury box was for the prosecutors, so this is where Donna and Frank’s lawyer would sit to defend him. The other table was for his parents and their lawyer.

“You usually have a prosecution attorney, but I will be acting as that today as well as your lawyer,” Mr Roberts said to Donna.

At the very front of the room there were two blocks. One was higher up – the Judges’ block, and one was lower down – the witness stand.

“Frank, you’ll be on the witness stand, over there,” his lawyer addressed him. Frank nodded silently.

At the back of the room there were rows of seats. Frank read a small sign which said ‘Visitors’ Gallery’ in fancy gold writing.

“Oh, and Gerard, you’ll be sitting in the visitors’ gallery because you aren’t eighteen, so cannot give any input into this. Sorry.”

Gerard nodded. “Good luck,” he said to Frank, kissing his cheek gently before sitting down in the chairs which were the closest to the prosecution table.

Frank gulped.

Moments later, people started to file into the room. He saw Mr Roberts wave at him and nod towards the witness stand, indicating that he should sit there and wait for the trial to start.

He made his way to the stand, looking behind him occasionally to see who was now filling the Visitors’ Gallery. He didn’t recognise any of them. Of course none of his family turned up, nor friends. They didn’t know about this, and they would never have guessed it.

Eventually, Frank made it to the small flight of steps up to the stand. He gripped the stair banisters and slowly walked up the couple of steps up to the seat.

He took in a deep breath and remembered to try and breathe steadily like Gerard had told him. He closed his eyes tightly and counted to ten slowly.

Frank had always hated being looked at or watched, so sitting in the very front of a packed room did nothing to help his nerves.

He glanced around the room, taking in his surroundings. The room was large when he was standing at the back, but now he was at the front, it seemed to have doubled. The walls were covered in a dark wood material which happened to match the stools and Jury box. If Frank was honest, the room was awfully dull.

Before he knew it, the jurors had filled the area designated from them. They all look stern and straight-faced and as impartial as ever.

Frank cast his gaze up to where Gerard was sitting. Even from the distance he was sitting from his, he could see him picking at his thumb nail – a nervous habit. He also looked pale and scared. Frank tried to catch his attention without drawing any attention to himself but waving his hand ever so slightly, but it didn’t work. Gerard continued to stare at his thumb, slowly removing parts of his nail.

The next people Frank saw enter the room came from the large, heavily guarded doors at the back where they’d entered.

Two people walked in, followed closely by two policemen. Frank tried to get a better look at the new faces. They both seemed too familiar but he couldn’t be sure who they were because they were still far away.

Once they came closer, he suddenly realised why they looked so familiar.

They were his parents.

He felt his breath catch in his throat and hopelessly looked up at Gerard. He begged that he’d get his attention this time.

Gerard looked up to see who’d entered the room, and paled even more. He looked at Mr and Mrs Iero and then at Frank, who looked like he could be sick at any second.

He desperately tried to signal that Frank had to breathe, but nothing was getting to him.

“What are you doing?” a man, probably in his mid fifties, hissed to him.

“My friend,” Gerard cringed at not telling people straight up that Frank was in fact his boyfriend, but didn’t think it would be appropriate to confess it in that circumstance, “he suffers from panic attacks and forgets how so breathe normally, sometimes,” Gerard explained. “I was just trying to remind him.”

The man rolled his eyes at him before continuing with looking in front of him.

Frank saw Gerard’s attempts to remind him to stay calm, but nothing worked. The breathing techniques failed him and his own strategies were becoming weaker and weaker. He was either going to cry or vomit on the spot if he wasn’t quick about calming himself down.

“Are you okay, darling?” A voice came from the Jury box.

Frank felt short of breath and close to passing out, making replying to the voice – a woman – next to impossible.

“You need to try and calm down,” she said, sweetly. “Try and take deep breaths, and slow ones at that, too.”

Frank tried to follow her instructions, and breathed deeply, holding the breath in for a few seconds, and exhaling.

“Good,” the woman said. “Now, do that a few times until you feel calmer. It’ll help. And don’t worry, I know these all seems really scary right at the moment, but it’ll be over before you know it.”

“T-thanks,” Frank said, shakily.

“No problem, honey,” she said before walking back to her seat.

Frank didn’t look at his parents even though he could feel their eyes looking right at him. He didn’t want to trigger a panic attack. No, not now.

Suddenly, the atmosphere changed. He looked towards the door to the left of him and saw another person enter. They had a white wig on – it was clearly the Judge.

Everyone, including his parents and their lawyer stood up until the Judge told them to sit.

“Today’s case is about Frank Anthony Iero and the neglect and abuse obtained by him by his parents while in their care. We will hear statements from the prosecutors and defendants, as well as Mr Iero himself,” the Judge stated. “Frank Iero’s lawyer, Mr Roberts, please come and state his case.”

“My pleasure, Your Honour,” Mr Roberts said, standing up from his seat and made his way to the area between the jury and judge. “My client, Mr Iero, was neglected and abused by the people who were meant to care for him and love him regardless of what he did. Think about it as a parent, if you will. Would _you_ beat your child until you leave visible marks, make them lie and say they did it themselves? Starve them until they became too weak to fully participate in schoolwork? Leave them in below standard rooms to freeze in the winter months with no change to their sleeping conditions?” he asked rhetorically, walking around the small space, making occasional eye contact with the jurors. “No, of course you wouldn’t. Why would you treat your own flesh and blood with such disregard to how they felt and to their needs? It’s against their human rights, I’m sure.” Frank lawyer made his way towards Frank’s parents. “You see your son over there? Do you see how much happier and healthier he is now? You could’ve achieved this if you _cared_ for him.”

“Your Honour,” Frank’s parents’ lawyer spoke up, “May I ask where Mr Roberts collected all this evidence from?”

“You may,” replied the Judge, allowing him to speak.

“So, please do tell me, Mr Roberts, where is the solid proof about this apparent neglect?”

“Well, I have had many reports about bruising and cuts on his body, which would only be caused by someone else’s wrongdoing.”

“And you didn’t factor in the potential of self-harm or any deliberate self-inflicted injury to make his case look more believable?”

“These cuts and bruises couldn’t have been done by Mr Iero. Many of them were on unreachable areas, for example on his chest and back area. How would one manage to cause bruising there?” Mr Roberts asked. Frank’s parents’ lawyer stayed silent. “Exactly. I hope I have now disproved your theory about my client harming himself. And about the cuts, they weren’t made by Mr Iero as they too were also in unreachable places, such as his back and behind his knees.” And with that, Mr Roberts walked swiftly back to his table.

“Mr and Mrs Iero’s lawyer, Mr Francis, please state your case as to why his parents are not to blame here,” the Judge spoke.

“Gladly, Your Honour. As Mr Roberts just said, why would anyone harm their son? They love him, it’s obvious. They raised him, housed him, clothed him – like every parent should and does. Their actions were nothing less than caring. It was in fact Frank Iero who caused this bodily harm to himself.”

“I object!” Donna shouted from across the room. “If I may?” She added, before starting to speak. “Frank came to my house months after meeting my son, Gerard Way, in boarding school. He confessed to him about how his parents neglected him and, I quote, want to ‘get rid of him’ by sending him to this school. Does that sound like caring parents to you?” she asked, facing Mr Francis.

“I don’t see any proof here. If his parents did send him away, then why did they send him to an expensive boarding school?”

“Because it was the furthest they could make him go without crossing the state boarder,” Donna said firmly, hate dripping from every syllable.

Donna and Frank’s parents’ lawyer shouted and screamed about how them sending Frank miles away from them to school was a valid point for a few minutes before the Judge called attention back to the case in hand.

“May we please hear Frank Iero’s statement, thank you,” the Judge said.

Frank swallowed and closed his eyes tightly again. He arranged his thoughts so when he spoke they didn’t come out in a jumbled mess, like they were currently in his mind.

“Take your time,” the Judge said in a soft voice, “We have time.”

“T-they hit me, h-hard,” Frank started, trying to keep his voice from shaking. “T-they didn’t feed m-me a lot.”

“And please can you describe where they hit you and who was the person who did it the most?” The Judge asked, looking down at Frank through his thin rimmed glasses.

“Um, it was m-mainly my f-father,” he spoke quietly, directing his gaze to the floor of the stand. “He used t-to punch me, m-mostly my stomach b-because he knew i-it hurt the most.”

“Did your mother try to stop him or intervene in anyway?”

“S-she encouraged it, some-sometimes,” Frank sobbed, feeling hot tears run down his face. A low murmur of shock came from the Visitors’ Gallery.

“ _Encouraged_ it?” The Judge said, disbelievingly.

Frank nodded, “yes.” He looked to his side and saw the reported scribbling down everything he was saying. He looked up and finally met the gaze of his mother. He looked closer and saw that she was crying, delicate tears running down her face with her not trying to dap them away, allowing her make-up to run, too. Her husband – Frank’s dad – had a supportive arm wrapped around her shoulder, holding her close. Frank felt his chest tighten at the sight of it. He didn’t want to get his parents sent away. Not really, anyway.

“You mentioned that they didn’t feed you a lot – a clear indication of neglect to a child. Did they do, or not do, anything else?”

Frank looked away from his parents and kept his mouth closed. He shook his head, not wanting to expend on the case more.

“Mrs Way, can you add anymore onto Mr Iero’s case?” The Judge asked, addressing Donna.

“He told me that his parents didn’t keep up with the upkeep of his bedroom and allowed gaps to appear between the wall and window frame. They denied him any form of heating, too, meaning that his bedroom was below freezing at some points during the winters,” Donna said, anger rising in her voice. “They didn’t supply him with the correct amount of blankets to counteract the temperature of his room. I believe that sometimes he had to sleep on the floor because his bed was close to the cold air coming into his room.”

“Is this true?” The Judge asked. All Frank could do was nod timidly. “I see. This is a severe case on neglect, and may have resulted in death if someone didn’t act as soon as they did.”

“My son told him to come to our house over the small break they have. He knew something wasn’t exactly right at Frank’s home,” Donna spoke up.

“Gerard?”

“Yes, Gerard.”

“I commend him on his quick thinking. He may have saved Mr Iero’s life,” the Judge said very seriously.

Frank felt his breathing stop. Saved his life? It wasn’t that bad at his parents’ house. Yes, they didn’t care for him, but they wouldn’t kill him, would they? He felt sick.

“We have enough evidence for the case to be brought to a close. We will discuss what happens to Mr and Mrs Iero at a later date.”

“But, Your Honour, why would his-“

“Mr Francis, we have enough solid evidence for this case to be pushed further. Everyone has the same story about Frank’s treatment at his parents’ home.” The Judge faced Donna who was sat behind the table with their lawyer. “We’ll be in touch about what happens next, Mrs Way. Thank you for your time. Case dismissed.” And with that, the Judge stood up and exited the Judges’ block.

Frank saw his parents stand up from behind their table; they didn’t even give Frank a second glance before they were guided out of the court room by three policemen.

The woman who talked to Frank before the trial started came up to where he was sitting and opened to small gate, allowing him to get out.

“You did well,” she said with an encouraging smile. “I’m sure you’ll win this one. The Judge certainly seemed to see that you weren’t lying.”

Frank gave the woman a weak smile and thanked her for talking to him before the case to calm him down. She dismissed him with a wave of her hand and a small laugh.

“Good luck, Frank,” she said before they parted ways.

Frank, who was now in the small square area of the courtroom, look around for Donna. She was talking to Mr Roberts in hushed tones with a serious face, obviously not wanting to be disturbed. Next, he looked for Gerard. He looked towards the Visitors’ Gallery and saw the older boy walking towards him.

Once Gerard was close enough, he pulled Frank into a close embrace. Frank wrapped his arms around Gerard’s neckline and put his face into the crook of Gerard’s neck.

“You’re shaking,” Gerard said, low enough that only Frank would hear him in the silent room.

“I k-know. Can we go y-yet? I don’t w-want to be here,” he cried quietly.

“We can go and sit with Mikey. He’s probably bored out of his mind by now. We’ve been in there for over three hours. Let’s go.”

***

Mikey, as Gerard predicted, was bored out of his mind. He didn’t think that the case would take over three hours to come to some kind of conclusion. While he was sitting in Mr Roberts’ office he tried to find things to entertain himself. He looked at the things visible on his desk, picking up papers of old cases and reading them through. Most of them were pretty mundane, just small thefts and unpaid rent. Mikey was expecting high profile murders, muggings and assaults, but he guessed that no one in their right mind would leave them lying about where anyone could take a quick look at them.

When Mikey had looked at the case reports on the desk, he sat in the high-backed leather chair, placing his feet on the desk, pretending that it was his office and that he was in charge for once.

Before he could react and put his feet down, the door swung open. “What are you doing, Mikey?” Gerard asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Got bored,” he shrugged and put his feet back on the floor. “How did it-“

Gerard quickly shook his head, implying that Mikey shouldn’t ask just yet. “Mom should be done in a bit,” he said, trying to change the subject.

“Good, I’m bored. I didn’t think it would take over _three_ hours.”

“Nor did we, Mikey,” Gerard said in a sigh. He reached out for Frank’s hand, who took it quickly. “We should sit,” he said quietly. Frank nodded and followed Gerard to the empty seats in front of the desk.

Frank let go of Gerard’s hand and covered his face with his own. “Oh God,” he cried under his breath.

“What’s up? – Sorry, stupid question,” Gerard said. He took both of Frank’s hands from covering his face. “Don’t cry, sweetheart,” he comforted Frank.

“S-sorry,” he cried.

Gerard hushed him again, using his thumb to wipe away the tears from Frank’s cheeks. “It’s okay. I know that was stressful, but it’s over now. You won’t have to do it again,” he reassured the other boy.

“Promise?” Frank asked, looking up at Gerard with wide, tear stained, eyes.

“Promise,” he said scenery, and leaned in to kiss him softly, earning them a disgusted sound by Mikey. “I think we can go now,” he half whispered, half laughed, still inches from Frank’s lips.

“I’m leaving,” Mikey huffed and stormed out of the door.

“Do y-you think we made h-him uncomfortable?” Frank laughed, still a bit sadly.

“Probably, but it’s fun,” he smiled and stood up too. Frank copied and both of them walked out of the small office into the reception area.

The receptionist was still at her desk, typing away on her computer with one hand and a phone in the other. She smiled at the two boys and gave a small wave, which they both returned before they left the building.

***

“Never again,” was the first thing Mikey said when he heavily sat down in the seat next to Gerard in the car. “Never a- _fucking_ -gain.”

“We won’t have to do all of that again, will we Ma?” Gerard asked Donna when she slid into the driver’s seat.

“No, not again,” she confirmed. “Mr Roberts will tell us what happens and if any further action will be taken. He said it could take anywhere between a few weeks to a month, depending on how complex they make it. He’s pretty confident it’ll be a positive result for us, though,” she said, reversing the car out of the car park.

***

The drive home was spent in silence. No one knew what the right thing to say was. They all knew ‘are you okay?’ and ‘how was it?’ questions were inappropriate. They knew that Frank wasn’t fine at all and asking him to retell it to Mikey so soon after it wasn’t the best idea, either.

Once Donna had stopped the car, the three boys tumbled out of the vehicle, glad to be away from the semi-awkward atmosphere of the confined space.

“I’m going to my room. It’s kind of late,” Mikey announced as he shuffled towards the house.

“I’ll p-probably go an l-lie down, too. It’s b-been a long day,” Frank said while stretching and clicking the lower half of his back.

“Sounds like a good idea,” Gerard agreed before taking Frank’s hand in his and walking into the house.

***

Gerard’s bedroom was pitch black when they reached the door. The sun had gone down hours ago, leaving no natural light in the room. Gerard blindly walked towards where his light switch was, tapping the wall until he found the switch and pressing it, making the slightly orange light flood the room.

Frank threw some of the blankets from the bed onto the floor and curled up on the mattress with a small sigh. “T-that was horrible.”

“What to talk about it? You’ve been really quiet since we left,” Gerard said, sitting on the bed next to Frank’s feet.

“I s-saw her crying. She l-looked so hurt t-that I got t-them both in t-trouble. They’re g-going to be hated by _everyone_. I’ve ruined t-their reputation. Oh, god,” he groaned, burying his head into the soft mattress.

“You haven’t ruined anything. Their whole positive reputation was a lie. They wouldn’t have a positive one now people know how they treated you behind closed door.”

“But t-they’re my _parents_ a-and I love t-them, despite what t-they did to me.”

“I know, but that isn’t how parents are meant to treat you, you know that. And, if all goes to plan, you can live here with us permanently,” Gerard grinned in an attempt to lighten the atmosphere. “Here,” he said, lifting up Frank so he sat beside the older boy, “You’ll be fine. You parents don’t know where you are, so you’re safe. They won’t come looking for you for revenge, or some shit like that.”

Frank laughed an airy chuckle and nodded. “True, b-but what do you t-think will happen to t-them? Will t-they go to prison?”

“I don’t know. Let the police and Judge decide on that. They’ll do what’s best,” Gerard replied honestly. He kissed the side of Frank’s mouth and the lips. Gerard felt Frank smile into the kiss, causing him to copy. “We should sleep. It’s late and today’s been stressful. We’ll talk about it more in the morning, okay?”

Frank wriggled until he got off the bed and grabbed a pair of semi-clean pyjamas. “I’m going t-to change in t-the bathroom,” Frank said and gestured towards the door.

“Why don’t just change in front of me?” Gerard asked with an over-the-top wink.

“B-because I’m n-not giving you a free s-strip tease,” he shook his head and laughed at him. Gerard faked a disappointed look before grinning up at Frank.

“How will I ever live?” Gerard whined, melodramatically.

“You’ll l-live,” Frank reassured him before walking into the bathroom.

***

Frank wake in the darkness, looking up at the ceiling above him. His mind wouldn’t rest. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw the courtroom, his mother crying and his father glaring at him while he tried to stop his wife from crying.

The guilt was eating away at Frank, making him feel ill.

He stood up from the bed as gently as possible, trying not to wake up Gerard who was peacefully asleep next to him. He padded carefully to the bathroom and flicked on the light.

The lights were old in the basement so they let out a low humming sound when they were on, but this was amplified due to the dead silence of the room.

Frank swore under his breath and walked into the room. He sat on the edge of the old bath, which was cold compared to his warm skin, and took a deep breath.

He tried to calm down his thoughts to try and make him sleep. He tried to think of the happier thoughts – the ones he shared with Gerard. He thought about when they first met and he told Gerard about his parents and how the other boy comforted him even though they’d only known each other for a relatively small time. He smiled to himself.

Next, he thought about the picnic they took while they were still in school. Frank as so oblivious then, but looking back at it was a date of sorts.

“What are you laughing about?” Gerard asked, sleep making his voice slurred. He rubbed his eyes and tried to look at Frank through the bright light.

“N-nothing, it’s not i-important,” Frank said with a small smile.

Gerard let out a soft laugh. “No, tell me. It’s half two in the morning and you’re laughing to yourself in the bathroom. It looks creepy.”

“I w-was just thinking,” Frank answered dismissively.

“Thinking that involved you sitting on the edge of a bath in some ungodly hour of the morning?”

“Y-yeah?” Frank said, laughing.

“Can you think in bed? I’m cold and tired,” Gerard complained.

“Aw, baby.”

“Shut up,” Gerard chuckled. He walked towards Frank and picked him up, earning several sounds of complaint from him.

“P-put me down!” Frank whispered as loud as he could while struggling in Gerard’s arms. All Gerard did was laugh and hold him tighter.

“You’re going to fall if you don’t keep still.”

“Don’t care. I d-don’t want to be c-carried like a b-baby,” Frank continued to complain.

“Fine,” the other boy said, putting Frank gently onto the bed. “Now you can sleep,” he spoke, mid-yawn.

“Ngh,” Frank grumbled, but still nuzzled down on Gerard’s pillow.

“Have you slept?” Gerard asked, wrapping an arm over Frank’s waist. Frank shook his head. “Then sleep, okay. You’ll be shattered in the morning if you don’t.”

Frank mumbled a reply and, finally, letting sleep overcome him.

 

 


	22. Chapter 22

"You can’t make me go out there. I don’t want to go back!”

“Gerard,” Donna sighed for the umpteenth time and turned around in the driver’s seat to face Gerard and Frank. “You _need_ to go back to school. I know you hate it – believe me, everyone does – but you need to finish this year, and then you’ll be done with it until you get to college. Besides, you have less than two months until you come home for Christmas. The time will fly by,” Donna said, trying to reason with her son.

“But-“

“Your m-mom is right, Gerard. W-we need to g-go. We n-need to unpack,” Frank cut in, in an attempt to get the other boy to move from the car which was parked outside the school’s gates.

Gerard rolled his eyes and huffed, “fine. But tell me what they say about-“

“Yes – yes about the whole situation going on at home. I’ll worry about that, you two get you’re things from the back and into the building now.”

Gerard’s muscles ached after sitting down for so long. He stretched, cracked his knuckles – which Frank still found absolutely disgusting – and unhappily pushed open the car door closest to him. However, he made no attempt to move from the car and slouched down lower in the upholstered seats.

Clearly, Gerard wasn’t going to move so Frank took it upon himself to make the other boy move. He carefully placed the palms of his hands on Gerard’s lower back and pushed, causing him to slip forward and out of the car.

Luckily for Gerard, he landed on his feet. He spun around to see both his mother and Frank trying to hide their laughter. “What?” he said with fake annoyance. “I was just about to move.”

“You weren’t, Gerard,” his mother spoke from the car. “Get your things and _go_. I’ll see you in a couple of months. Remember to call me if you need anything, or just to say hi.”

“Yes, mom,” Gerard said, half heartily. Both he and Frank walked around to the back of the car and pulled their various cases out of the boot, each landing with a loud thump.

Once all their bags were out of the car, Gerard closed the boot and took a few steps away from the vehicle.

When Donna heard the boot close, she stuck her head out of the open window on the driver’s side of the car and said, “See you two at Christmas. Work hard and love you.” She waved at them both before driving down the long road to the main highway.

“Two more months until we get to go back,” Gerard muttered, bitterly.

Frank rolled his eyes at Gerard, and took the other boy’s hand in his. “Let’s g-go,” Frank said in a low voice, pulling at Gerard’s hand to make him walk towards the towering building in front of them.

***

Frank hated school as much as the next person, he honestly did, but he felt safe.

In school, he was hours away from his family, meaning he was as far away as possible from the memories of the abuse. While he was in school, there was nothing to make him remember his parents or past life. Nothing.

The only memories he had in the school building and his small shared dorm room were good ones, ones of Gerard and laughter, not his parents and beatings.

School, to Frank, was a safe place.

“Ah, home sweet home,” Gerard said, sarcastically, dumping his bags on Frank’s lower bunk. “As plain as ever, I see.”

“At l-lets it’s not cold,” Frank muttered under his breath.

Although Frank intended Gerard not to hear his side comment, he did. Gerard gave a small, guilty smile. “Sorry.”

“S’fine,” Frank said, waving his hand to dismiss Gerard’s weak apology. “W-we need to unpack, a-anyway.” He said, walking towards his bag and opening it up.

“Oh, right. Yeah – yeah, let’s put this stuff away,” Gerard said, unenthusiastically, and copying Frank’s actions.

Like before, they didn’t bring a lot with them away from the school, especially Frank. With the addition of his new skeleton gloves, his drawings from Gerard and a few other presents from Mikey and Donna, Frank still had only the essentials.

Gerard busied himself in the bathroom, putting the assortment of shampoos his mother insisted on him bringing, soaps, tooth pastes and tooth brushes in their correct places. He made sure that they were in roughly the place they were before. Though Gerard wasn’t the tidiest of people, he was a creature of habit and preferred everything to be where it was beforehand.

Meanwhile, Frank started unpacking both of their clothes. He opened the top draw, stuffing his pyjamas in haphazardly and quickly moved on to putting his socks and underwear into another draw at random. Unlike Gerard, Frank didn’t care where things went. He believed that if he could find them eventually, it was a good enough place.

“Almost done?” Gerard asked, walking out of their bathroom and looking down at the mess of clothes and other bits of bobs Frank had made on the floor.

Frank looked up at Gerard, his hair falling in front of his face and smiled. “Yeah, a-almost.”

“You’ve made such a mess,” Gerard chuckled. He bent down and picked up his clothes. He neatly folded the shirt he picked up and put it into the top, right-hand draw of his sets of draws.

“It’s n-not a m-mess,” Frank gasped dramatically.

Gerard, who’d picked up another item of clothing from the floor – a sock –, took the opportunity to throw it at Frank, who still wasn’t looking properly at him.

When the soft fabric first hit Frank, he flinched, expecting something worse to come. “What?” Frank said, dumbly, looking down at the pair of neatly folded socks next to his feet.

Frank looked up at Gerard with a confused look on his face. He noticed that Gerard was trying to hide a smile, badly, causing his face to form an almost pained expression.

“What?” Frank asked again, cautiously, cocking an eyebrow.

“Nothing,” Gerard’s spluttered, unable to keep the laughter from seeping into his voice.

Frank kneeled down, keeping a close eye on Gerard while he retrieved the sock from the floor. He bounced it from one hand to another, deciding what to do with it. He had two options: one, to be mature about it and put it away, or two, to throw it back at Gerard who was still stood there, smirking at him.

Of course, he chose the first option, being as immature as ever.

He threw the sock at Gerard, as hard as he could. The sock flew through the air, hitting Gerard right under the ribs which made him take a few steps back in surprise.

“Fuck, Iero. Where did you learn how to throw that hard?” the older boy said, breathlessly but nonetheless, impressed by his strength.

Frank blushed and shrugged, muttering “I d-don’t know,” under his breath before putting the other clothes in the right places, finally.

He didn’t hear Gerard picking his way through the piles of clothes which were still flung on the floor, and making his way over to Frank’s side.

“You must know how you’ve got such a strong throw,” he pressed.

Frank, who was still folding and putting away his clothes, closed it eyes tightly and looked up at Gerard who was looking down at him curiously. “Sometime y-you have to d-defend yourself,” he replied, dismissively, acting like it didn’t make him feel scared or panicked, or that memories flashed before his eyes.

_Oh_ , Gerard thought. “Oh, Frank... I didn’t think about that. I’m so sorry,” Gerard said, horrified at his stupidity.

“It’s o-okay, just drop it,” Frank muttered. He continued to put his clothes away and kicked his bag under the bed, making sure it was out of the way.

“No, Frank. Please, I didn’t mean it like that. I didn’t know, if I did, I wouldn’t have said anything like that. I’m sorry,” Gerard said, his voice breaking in parts of the sentence. He didn’t want to have an argument over something so small. They’d only been away from the Way’s house for a couple of hours, and Gerard didn’t want to start the second part of the school term on a low.

“D-drop it, Gerard,” Frank snapped, looking directly at Gerard. “I k-know you’re sorry, and t-that you didn’t know. I wish y-you’d just _think_ sometimes. N-not all of us h-have had a perfect u-upbringing like others h-have,” he spat.

Gerard stared at Frank, speechless. He couldn’t find the words to defend himself from the speech given by the younger boy, who was stood opposite him, his fits in balls and practically radiating hostility.

“Frank,” Gerard spoke in a low voice, trying to stop his it from shaking. “You know I don’t think before I speak sometimes, and it’s bad. I should think logically about how you were treated beforehand. It’s just...” he faded out, still unsure about what he was going to say.

“Just w-what?” Frank asked, visibly getting angrier and angrier.

“I’m sorry,” Gerard weakly apologised for the hundredth time.

Frank rolled his eyes and shoved past Gerard to get to the door which was still unlocked. “I’m g-going out,” Frank announced before slamming the door behind him, making Gerard jump.

Gerard walked to the door just before his legs gave out. He pushed his back to the door sank to the floor. He lifted his knees and buried his face into them. “I’m no good without you,” he said to himself in a broken voice before the tears started to roll down his face.

***

Frank walked and walked, allowing his legs to take him wherever they wanted. He didn’t know where he was going or when he was going back, all he knew was that he needed time away from Gerard and that small room. And besides, he could stay out as long as he could until it was dark, which it wouldn’t be for a bit.

Eventually, he found himself in the small clearing where they’d gone for a picnic in the early weeks of their friendship back in September. It looked a bit different now; the trees had lost their golden brown leaves, leaving them scattered on the floor. And the grass was unkempt from the lack of use. It looked miserable – a perfect place for Frank to sit and think for a while.

He made his way over to the small stream and sat down near it. The running water produced little gargling and whooshing sounds, forming a relaxing soundtrack for Frank to calm his anger.

Frank kicked off his shoes and socks, putting them next to him, and dipped his feet into the freezing water.

“F-fuck,” he swore to himself as the cold water lapped around his ankles. He wiggled his toes around a bit, getting used to the temperature of the stream water around his feet. Finally, the cold sensation was quickly replaced by a strange numb feeling, telling him that he had probably kept his feet in there for slightly too long. However, he ignored it and kept them in.

He thought back to his argument with Gerard. He knew he overacted slightly, and he shouldn’t have yelled at Gerard like that. But he was sick of people being so inconsiderate towards him. It was like they didn’t realise that the simplest thing could bring back memories. They said that time heals wounds, but not enough time had passed for this to be true to him. The memories were still raw in his mind; it was still like he had experienced it the day before.

On top of that, the flashbacks and nightmares only made it worse for him. Gerard had always told him how it would be okay, that he understood. But could he? Could be put himself in Frank’s shoes and imagine what it was like to be _hated_ by his own parents? No, probably not. Who would want to think about that? It was all hypothetical to him, but not to Frank. It was far too real for him.

He’d heard Donna mention therapy sessions to Gerard once. Gerard had told her that it wasn’t a good time then, which he was right, but would it ever be? Frank found it hard enough telling Gerard about it, never mind a stranger who would pretend to be sympathetic and gauge if he was insane or not.

Perhaps he was over thinking this, but sometimes he felt like the whole world was against him. No matter how many people told him that they cared he wouldn’t, no, couldn’t believe them. He was brought up to believe that no one loved him, not even his own parents – the people who brought him into the world. To them, he was evil, nothing more and nothing less.

Gerard had told him on multiple occasions about how much he loved him and that he cared, but how could he? Frank treated him like shit; shouting at him for saying things that he didn’t think would cause a reaction. Like Gerard had said, he didn’t know...

Frank felt tears pricking at the back of his eyes. He wiped his eyes with the back of his index finger, trying to stop the tears from flooding his vision.

He thought about the nice things Donna, Gerard and even Mikey had done for him. Firstly, Gerard had suggested that he went to his for the short break, which Donna said was fine. Secondly, they celebrated his birthday and given him a whole range of gifts which he loved. Mikey didn’t react badly when he walked into them, twice, he just groaned in disgust because it was his older brother and left. He could’ve done much, much worse. He could have taken pictures, started rumours, anything.

Frank’s anger dispersed when he thought about what Gerard had given him for his birthday. As well as the gloves, he had drawn him a picture. He’d stayed up all that pervious night sketching something for him. It was more than a way of showing how much he cared; it was a sign of how much he _loved_ him. He thought back to how nervous he had been when giving it to Frank and how he instantly relaxed when Frank showed him how much he liked it.

How could anyone like him, never mind love him, with the way he treated others?

Frank was being stupid. He lifted his feet from the ice-cold water as they had started to turn a concerting grey/purple colour. He dried them off, and tried to get some circulation back into them, before putting his socks and shoes back on.

He lifted himself up from the grassy bank and looked up. It must have been later than he first thought as the sun was setting in the distance. The sky had turned every shade of pink, yellow and orange imaginable and the clouds almost glowed a similar colour. It was breathtaking. Frank now understood why Gerard was so pissed that he’d miss it once.

With a sad smile, he made his way back to his block of dorms and tried to figure out an acceptable apology to say to Gerard.

***

Gerard had crawled from the door to Frank’s lower bunk, as he didn’t trust himself getting to the higher one. He was unsure if he’d fall backwards while climbing up the small ladder or throw himself off once he reached his bed. He wrapped himself up in the blankets and curled up into the foetal position.

All he could do was cry. He tried not to worry about Frank and his mood swings. He tried not thinking about where his boyfriend, if not ex, may have gone. He tried calling him, but he heard Frank’s cell ring from his bag.

As much as he tried, he was worried about him, and nothing could calm the horrible twisting feeling in his stomach, which was intensified by the ache he felt in his chest. Gerard hadn’t gone through a break-up before, so he presumed this is what it felt like to have your heart broken.

He knew his eyes were red and puffy from the crying, but he didn’t care anymore. He wanted to apologize to Frank again but felt that would make him even angrier. He’d read somewhere that children from abusive backgrounds often became abusive themselves later in life. Gerard hoped and prayed that Frank would be the acceptation, but lately it had become more likely than not that he was also becoming another fact in some psychology textbook.

There was a faint knock on the door. Gerard presumed it was one of the Sisters who were walking around the dorms to check if everyone was now unpacked and ready for the next school days.

Gerard cleared his throat and wiped his eyes before calling out, “I’m coming,” and walking towards the door.

Fully expecting a nun to be standing in front of him, he forced the best fake smile he could, smoothed out his clothes and fixed his hair before opening the door. To his shock and surprise, he saw Frank.

Frank looked as bad as he did. There were obvious tear stains running down his cheeks as he gazed down at the floor space between them.

“Frank,” Gerard said, fear dripping from his voice. “Where did you-? Are – are you okay?”

He heard the fear in Gerard’s voice and it made his heart want to give out. He didn’t want to scare anyone. He didn’t want to be like his parents in any way.

“I’m f-fine,” he replied, sadly. “C-can I come in?” he asked, looking into their room.

“Oh – oh yeah, sure,” the older boy replied, stepping to the side and letting him come in.

Frank walked past him, and Gerard couldn’t but flinch when the other person came too close to him. He walked into the room and sat on his bed.

“Sit w-with me?” Frank requested, and patted a space next to him, giving Gerard a less than reassuring smile.

Gerard nodded without speaking, closing the door and walking the short distance to Frank. He ducked his head, and sat down next to him, trying to ignore how his heart rate picked up.

“Where did you go?” Gerard asked quietly, looking at his knees.

“I, uh, needed t-to think,” Frank gulped. “I’m s-so sorry. I s-shouldn’t have said a-all of that before. Y-you didn’t k-know.” Gerard opened his mouth to speak, but Frank shook his head. “Y-you say you love m-me but I treat you l-like that. How c-could anyone love s-someone like me?” he asked with a painfully sad laugh.

Gerard looked up and saw fresh tears making their way down Frank’s face. Out of habit, he brushed them away with his thumb, and whispered, “I know you didn’t meant what you said. We’re both tired and have had a long day. Besides, I need to be more careful about some things because it can hurt people. And, you’ve been through a lot. I don’t blame you for snapping at me.”

“But-“

“But nothing, okay? I won’t lie to you, your words did hurt, a lot, but we’ve all had bad days and said things we don’t mean, right?” he said with an airy laugh. “As long as you didn’t mean what you said, then I think we could be okay?”

“N-no, I’d never mean a-any of that. I just o-overacted. Sorry,” Frank murmured.

“It’s fine,” Gerard said, dismissively. “We need to sleep, anyway. We have school tomorrow.” He stood up from Frank’s bed and made his way to the small ladder leading up to his bunk.

Frank watched him, confused. They’d spent the last few weeks squashed into the single lower bunk. “Aren’t y-you...?”

“Not tonight, Frank. We probably need some space,” Gerard said and looked down at Frank with a fake smile, before going up to his bed.

Gerard tried to ignore the heartbreaking sounds made by Frank as he settled down in his bed, alone.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well done if you spot my really obvious twenty one pilots reference in here.  
> xo


	23. Chapter 23

If going to bed alone wasn’t bad enough for Frank, waking up alone to remember it wasn’t all a bad dream, was hundreds of times worse.

The sun was just rising, so it was still early, and he could hear Gerard peacefully snoring on the top bunk. He sighed, rubbed his eyes to get rid of his sleep blurred vision and shuffled to the edge of his bed to put his feet firmly on the floor.

He sleepily walked over to where his phone was, and unlocked it, shielding his eyes from the bright light produced by it. He squinted down at the screen and, to his surprise; he had four missed messages from someone.

He dimed the brightness, allowing him to read who the messages were from. Three were off Mikey and one was off Donna.

The first was the generic ‘how are you? How is school?’ messages from Donna. Frank made a mental note to reply to them at a more appropriate time.

The other three were off Mikey. Frank felt his stomach drop and he gulped. Mikey never messaged Frank. Never. He slowly pressed Mikey’s name and read the messages.

They read: ‘ _what did you say to gee?!_ ’ followed by a few minute gap before, ‘ _frank what did u do??_ ’ and finally a number of, what Frank guessed, were angry faces.

Frank groaned and covered his face with his hands. He knew Gerard would’ve told Mikey all of it, he probably did it when he was out of the room. He didn’t want Mikey to hate him, of course not, but the thought of Mikey telling Donna about what he’d said to his older brother made fear rush down his spine.

Donna had done so much for him. She’d given him a place to stay, organised someone to speak to him as well as a court case. They all ran smoothly, and it was all help to her. He didn’t want to disrespect her and her kindness but treating her oldest son like shit, and shouting at him when he was just trying to show support.

He groaned again and tried to push the sickening feeling from his stomach. He tried not to think about how much Mikey, as well as Gerard, hated him right now. He tried, but it didn’t work.

Frank snuck back to his bed and buried under the blankets, trying to ignore the undying feeling on dread that had made itself very comfortable in the pit of his stomach.

He felt his breathing increase and become shallower. “Not a-again,” he whispered to himself in a shaky voice. “Fuck.”

Realising that staying in bed wasn’t the best option, he made his way slowly to the bathroom, gripping onto the poles of the bunk bed to keep himself upright, and stumbled into the other room.

He managed to close the door behind him before sinking to the floor. He brought his knees to his face and let out a pathetic sob as quietly as he could.

In the adjacent room, the sound of someone closing the bathroom door woke Gerard up. He stretched and whispered down to the lower bunk, “Frank?” When he didn’t get a reply, he kicked off his blankets, slid down the ladder.

When he reached the floor, Gerard stood still. “Frank?” he whispered, again. “Where are you?”

He didn’t receive a reply but he heard a distance crying sound coming from behind the bathroom door.

“Not again,” Gerard said to himself, and walked towards the door. “Frank, open the door. Please?” he begged. Frank didn’t move. “Please, baby, let me in.”

Frank didn’t reply again, but he did move from the door, allowing it to swing open. Gerard pushed the door open an inch more to make the gap big enough for him to get into the smaller room.

Gerard looked down at Frank and sighed. It was an all too common sight for the younger boy to look up at his with puffy red eyes, tear stained cheeks and an almost painfully sad expression on his face. As many times as Gerard saw him like this, it still made his heart ache.

He didn’t need to ask what was wrong, he knew. Gerard made a mental note to ask his mom to organise some kind of doctors’ appointment for him to try to reduce the amount and intensity of Frank’s anxiety.

Gerard knelt down next to Frank and wrapped a protective arm around him and held him close. When he felt Frank started to shake in his arms, he rocked the other boy gently. He murmured comforting words, hoping to get him to stop panicking and to be calm enough to tell him what had caused it.

“What caused this?” Gerard asked, softly, rubbing little circles on Frank’s back in an attempt to soothe him.

Frank shook his head, “N-nothing,” he whispered. “I-it doesn’t matter.” Frank started to move closer to Gerard in search of comfort, and pressed his face into the crook of Gerard’s neck.

Gerard started to stroke Frank’s hair instead of drawing circles in his back. “This isn’t _nothing_ , Frank. What made you panic before six in the morning?”

He considered tell Gerard, but the longer he thought about it, the stupider and stupider it sounded. How could he tell him that his younger brother caused him to panic when he was just asking what he said to Gerard? The message weren’t even aggressive in any way. “It’s... It d-doesn’t matter. It’s nothing, r-really” Frank repeated weakly into Gerard’s neck and wrapped his arms around the other boy’s back, holding him close.

“Hey, it’s okay. Try and breathe. Nothing will hurt you,” Gerard started on his usual speech. “You’re fine, and with me. It’s okay.”

Frank let out a shaky breath and nodded slowly. Gerard gave him a fond smile and held out a hand for Frank, which he gratefully took. “It’s cold and we still have an hour or so before we have to go to school. We can lie around for a bit,” Gerard said softly.

Frank agreed and let Gerard gently drag him into their bedroom.

“Go and sit on the bed. I’ll bring you back something to drink,” Gerard spoke and let go of Frank’s hand, allowing him to curl up onto the lowest bunk.

Gerard picked up a glass from the side from a few nights ago and walked back into the bathroom. He turned on the tap, ran the cool water over the glass to clean it out and filled it half way to the top. Once it was full enough, he turned off the tap and wiped the glass, making sure that water didn’t drip while he went back to Frank.

To anyone who didn’t know Frank well, it looked like he’d fallen asleep. His head was resting peacefully on the pillow and he’d curled up into a ball on top of the covers with his eyes closed. However, Gerard knew Frank couldn’t sleep after that. He looked closer and noticed that Frank was still breathing unsteadily – certainly not asleep.

Gerard padded over to Frank and knelt down next to the bed. “I have some water for you,” he announced, quietly. He used his free hand to gently roll over Frank so he was facing him. The younger boy’s eyes were still closed tightly, in an attempt to fool Gerard that he was asleep.

Gerard sighed. “I know you’re not asleep, Frank,” he said kindly. “Come on, sit up.”

Frank wearily opened his eyes and blinked a few times to remove the clouded look in his eyes. He sat up against the metal headboard of his bed and reached out of the water in Gerard’s hand. “T-thanks,” he whispered, taking small mouthfuls of the drink.

Gerard got up from the floor and sat at the opposite end of the bed from Frank. He crossed his legs and looked up at him, trying to figure out how to ask the questions he wanted (needed) answering.

“So...” Gerard said, awkwardly, “What – how did that happen?”

“It’s n-nothing,” Frank shrugged, avoiding Gerard’s question. He leaned over the edge of the bed, placing the glass on the floor and looked back at Gerard, holding his gaze.

“It’s not nothing,” Gerard spoke firmly, adding air quotes around ‘nothing’.

Frank shook his head and laugh sadly. “D-don’t worry about i-it. It’s s-stupid anyway.”

_Stupid?_ Gerard thought to himself. “It’s not...” He trailed off and looked up at Frank, pleading with his eyes for an answer.

Frank shook his head, again, and opened his mouth to speak before Gerard beat him to it.

“It’s not stupid, dumb, irrelevant or whatever else you’re thinking it could be,” he whispered, crawling up the single bed to sit a few centimetres from Frank’s feet and sat down again. “Just tell me. _Please_ ,” Gerard was begging now. “If you tell me, I can try and help. You know I won’t judge you or tell anyone.”

Frank admitted defeat to himself and tried to find a way to word it. I could lie, telling Gerard that he just started to think about his parents or past life, but that could have worse consequences than the truth. He breathed out of his noise heavily and spoke, faintly. “I g-got a message o-off Mikey. He a-asked me what I s-said to y-you yesterday. I just – I thought h-he’d tell your mom a-and they’d b-both hate me, as w-well as you,” he whispered. Frank started to pick at the skin around his thumb nail anxiously. Gerard didn’t respond, he just stared with his mouth open in shock. “See, i-it’s stupid,” Frank started before Gerard cut him off.

“No – no, that’s not stupid. I understand. I didn’t tell Mikey anything, I guess he must’ve noticed something different when I spoke to him on the phone. He doesn’t mean anything by it, he’s just overprotective sometimes, and that’s all,” he said quickly and took one of Frank’s hands in his to stop him drawing blood from around his thumb. “My mom wouldn’t hate you for that, nor Mikey, and I definitely don’t.”

“But-“

“We’ve argued, but so does everyone. We were tried yesterday; we’d just been in the car for hours. We overacted – we both did,” he sighed. “I need to think more before I talk, and I’m sorry. I can’t say it enough.”

Frank stayed silent, processing what Gerard had said. He had to agree, they were both tired and annoyed about going back to school, so yeah, and that probably made them slightly more on edge than they would’ve been otherwise. “Y-you’re right,” Frank agreed with a small nod.

“Right,” Gerard said with a smile. He leaned forward, placing a small kiss on Frank’s forehead, which made them both grin happily. “We should get ready for school now.”

***

School dragged. The first day back was _always_ the worst. They had to get back into the monotonous routine of walking to each lesson, getting their books out and pretending to pay attention to what the nuns were saying.

Gerard didn’t care for the life cycle of a plant or algebra. He knew he didn’t have a future in those subjects and didn’t see why he had to keep learning them when all he wanted to do was draw comic strips and cartoons. He didn’t want to study English literature from the 17th century in some prestigious college; he wanted to go to SVA and he was set on it.

Although he didn’t fail every class, he excelled in Art.

He loved art in every form, whether it was fine arts, architecture or even body art – which reminded him of Frank’s tattoos. He made a note of asking about them later on. Basically, if it looked stunning and had a meaning behind it, he liked it.

Eventually, the final bell rang and the students quickly packed up and made their way over to the door and into the corridor. Gerard was going to do the same, until his Art teacher called out his name.

“Gerard,” his teacher – Sister Rachel – called after him.

“Yeah?” Gerard asked, turning to face her. Usually, the teachers would demand more respect from his, shouting at him for not looking up to them, but not Sister Rachel. She was a lot younger than the other, perhaps in her mid twenties; with an even younger looking face to match and emerald green eyes which shone under some lighting.

“It’s nearly the end of your time in school, and you should be thinking about where you want to go after, whether it’s to college or to get a job. Have you got any ideas?” she asked with genuine curiosity.

“Oh, yeah. I was thinking about going to SVA, in New York,” he replied, smiling widely.

“SVA?” the nun thought aloud, “Oh, School of Visual Arts! That would be wonderful,” she said, clapping her hands excitedly. “Well, if you need a recommendation or something, come to me. I’ll give you _glowing_ recommendation, don’t you worry.”

“Really?” he grinned. “That would be great. Thank you so much.” He had to control himself from hugging her.

“You’re welcome, Gerard. You deserve it. All you ever do in this class it work, and you’re clearly a very talent individual,” she said, patting him lightly on the back. “Now, go back to your room. I’m sure you have a lot of work to do.”

“Uh, yeah –yeah I do. Thank you, again, Sister,” he said, still smiling madly before rushing out of the class and towards the building where his dorm was.

***

When Gerard swung open the door, he wanted to tell Frank about his conversation with his Art teacher, and try to find a way to express his pure excitement, but when he saw Frank, he was hunched over a textbook, a pen between his teeth and a concentrated expression etched onto his face. Now probably wasn’t a good idea to distract him as it looked like he was trying to solve a complex math problem.

Gerard edged around the room until he was sitting at the small desk area. He retrieved his sketchbook and his one sharp pencil and started to draw random things until Frank was finished with whatever he was doing.

***

It was late when Frank finally threw the book down with an exasperated sigh.

“I h-hate math,” Frank said with a groan. He stood up from his sitting position and tried to fight the pain which shot through his left leg thanks to pins and needles. “W-what are y-you drawing?” he asked Gerard, lamely limping towards the desk.

“Nothing much, just doodling,” he replied, not looking from the paper in front of him.

Frank peered down at the pencil sketch in front of him. Clearly, his definition to ‘nothing much’ was very different to Gerard’s. Gerard had drawn the outline of a man’s face. He’d shaded in the top half of his head, roughly, leaving blank patches for eyebrows and the eyes. Even though it was only the start of the drawing, Frank knew it would turn out brilliantly once it was finished.

“T-this is amazing,” Frank complimented in awe. “D-does he have a n-name?”

Gerard thought for a few seconds, tapping the rubber end of the pencil against his bottom lip for a few seconds. He looked up at Frank, for the first time since the other boy had come near him, and smiled. “No, not yet, I’m still thinking of one.”

Frank nodded and turned to walk towards his bed. Before he could walk away, Gerard grabbed his arm and turned him to face him again.

“I have news!” Gerard said, practically radiating sheer excitement. He spoke before Frank had a time to reply. “You know my Art teacher, Sister Rachel? She said she’d give me a good recommendation for SVA. It’ll make them more likely to accept me,” he whooped.

Frank stared at him. SVA? In New York? That was so far away from his family – from _him_. He didn’t let himself dwell on it, though. He smiled back, trying to copy Gerard’s exhilaration. “N-no way? Really?”

“Yes!” Gerard shouted, jumping up from the seat and wrapping arms tightly around Frank’s neck and pulling him into a less than graceful kiss.

Frank could feel his lips becoming swollen and bruised, but couldn’t care any less. He bit down on Gerard’s lower lip, causing him to gasp with pain for half a second until his eyelids fluttered closed and he let out a low moan.

“Oh God,” Gerard managed to spit out. Frank took his chance and moved his focus to the sensitive skin under Gerard’s ear. Frank nibbled on the skin, making Gerard feel weak at the knees.

“C’mon,” Gerard panted, dragging Frank to the floor with a thump. Before Frank could register the pain, Gerard had crawled onto his lap and started to copy what Frank had been doing – making small dark purple marks under his left ear.

Frank shuddered and looked at Gerard. The other boy’s eyes were dark, almost none of the hazel colour of his eyes showed. He looked at Frank with, what could be best described as a hungry, lustful look. Frank’s breath got caught in his throat.

He pushed Frank back, making his lie flat on the floor. He straddled his hips and wriggled around, smirking when Frank emitted a few shrill gasps and gripped Gerard’s hipbone. The grip was tight, probably enough to leave little finger marks, but Gerard didn’t care. He did the same movement again, taking pride in how much the boy beneath him squirmed and moaned with every move.

Frank let out a high pitched gasp and moaned Gerard’s name before his facial features relaxed and a blissful expression flooded his face.

“Oh,” was all he could manage to say, his voice breaking half way through.

Gerard smirked, again, and cocked an eyebrow. “Oh?” He copied.

Frank didn’t continue with their little game for a second. Instead he quickly rolled Gerard off him and straddled his hips, holding the other boy’s wrists down above his head, successfully pinning him down. Gerard’s eye darted up to meet Frank’s, and Frank tried to hide a laugh, “oh.”

Gerard bucked his hip awkwardly, trying to get some friction. He knew he wouldn’t last long as the fuzzy feeling in the pit of his stomach tripled once Frank pinned him down.

Frank put more pressure on Gerard’s crotch copied what he did to him. Gerard moaned and tried to sit up, but Frank held his wrists down tighter, making sure he couldn’t move an inch.

“Frank,” Gerard sighed, “Oh – oh my _God_ ,” he managed to groan out before little white dots invaded his vision and his eyelids fluttered shut.

Gerard kept his eyes closed for longer than he needed, letting his body glow in the aftershock.

He felt Frank’s weight shift as he moved off Gerard’s hips and straightened his shirt, and announced he was going to shower.

Gerard listened to the hum of the shower and the water splashing the bottom of the bath for a few minutes until he decided to get up from the floor. Trying to ignore the uncomfortable sticky feeling in his pants, he threw himself onto Frank’s bunk and huddled down in the blankets. It only took him a few minutes to be lulled to sleep by the constant sound coming from the bathroom.

***

Frank stepped out of the bathroom, hair still wet and water dripping down his face. He shook the small strands out of his face and put some bits of hair behind his ear.

He noticed that Gerard was fast asleep, curled in the blankets, clutching them to his chest. He looked closer and saw that he was still in his uniform. Frank thought about awaking him up and asking him if he wanted to change into his pyjamas, which would’ve been hundreds of times more comfortable than their stiff blazers and trousers. However, he decided against it when he saw how peaceful he looked.

Frank smiled to himself and shuffled next to Gerard, loosely putting one arm over his middle. He pulled him closer; fitting his knees behind the joints of Gerard’s and buried his face in the soft hair which covered the back on the older boy’s neck.

Still smiling, Frank fell asleep, thinking about how different it was less than twenty-four hours ago.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pathetically short chapter but chapter 25 is half done and should be up by tomorrow at the very latest!  
> xo

The first few weeks of school flew by in a rush of balancing schoolwork and keeping themselves sane. The teachers decided to pile on the homework and extracurricular subjects to bulk out their college applications, well, that’s what they said, anyway. They barely got a few hours to themselves to relax.

Gerard didn’t have enough time to call his mom, like he said he would. At first, he felt guilty, but when he saw the pile of essays he had to write, the guilt quickly left him.

With a sigh, he walked to the books he’d piled neatly on the floor near the bottom of their bunk bed. He picked the first one he saw. Unfortunately, it was English. He found the paper he had to write and made himself comfortable on the floor, dragging another book from the heap and set it down on his lap, forming a makeshift desk.

He looked down at the blank piece of lined paper in front of him and tried to think where to start. Frank had always helped him with English and Maths, and any other subject that he was stuck on, but his Music teacher had asked him to stay behind so they could talk about possible colleges he could attend next year.

Gerard groaned, rubbing his eyes. It wasn’t too late yet as the sun only setting, casting an orange glow through the small window, flooding the room and making him feel even sleepier. He considered giving up with his essay and sleeping, but decided against it. He’d already asked his teacher to extend the deadline until the following so he could finish it properly. If he didn’t give it in then, he’d be in detention for certain.

He picked up a pen and started writing a long winded introduction.

***

Frank sat awkwardly across from his Music teacher. They brought in a teacher from the local school to teach the lesson once a week as none of the nuns had an extensive music repertoire; it was easier to bring someone else in.

His teacher – Mr Hughes – smiled at him from across the table. He was in his late forties with greying hair and a receding hairline, which he tried to hide the best he could. He had small wrinkles around his eyes and mouth, giving him a friendly look, most of the time.

“So, Frank,” Mr Hughes started, “I see you’re interested in music. Have you considered taking it in college? I hear that there are some good courses out there.”

Frank nodded. He loved music. When he was younger, his father brought his guitar down from the attic and Frank took an instant like to it. He loved how the strings felt under his fingers, the sound it made when he changed chords and how relaxed he felt hearing small melodies coming from the instruments. “I p-played the guitar,” Frank said, shyly.

“The guitar?” His music teacher repeated with a nod. “When was the last time you played?” he asked.

Frank blushed, ashamed of how long it had been. “Over t-ten years ago,” he whispered, looking down to his hands.

Mr Hughes made a small sound, nodding once again. “I’m sure you’ll be able to pick it up again. It’s like riding a bike, you can’t forget it.” He looked around the small music room and spotted the cupboard was still open, and smiled. “I’m not sure how the other teachers feel about me giving you a guitar to practise with over the weekend, but I’m sure they won’t mind. Music has always been your strongest subject,” he spoke, thinking out loud. “Your roommate won’t mind, will they?” he asked, turning to face Frank again.

“N-no,” Frank stuttered in shock. “He w-wouldn’t mind, at all. T-thanks,” he said, grinning at his teacher.

“Great!” Mr Hughes exclaimed. He walked over to the small room and started to look for the best kept guitar there. It only took him a few minutes to let out a triumphant ‘ha’ and emerged with an acoustic guitar in his hands. “Here you go. Don’t break it,” he said in a mock warning voice, handing the instrument to Frank.

“T-thank you so m-much,” Frank beamed up at his teacher and greatly accepted the guitar from him.

Frank decided that Mr Hughes was his favourite teacher. Ever.

***

It was a little past five in the evening when Frank walked into their dorm room, closing the door behind him gently. Gerard had given up with his essay a while ago, and had taken to finishing the sketch he started a few days ago. He didn’t bother to sit at the desk, though. He set up a mini art space on the floor, spreading sheets of paper, pencils and erasers across the old carpet. It gave him more space, too.

Frank felt like a little kid, trying to hide something from his parents. He less than conspicuously hid the guitar behind his back until Gerard lifted one eyebrow at him.

“What’s that?” he asked, pointing at Frank who smiled widely at him.

“My M-music teacher g-gave it to me for t-the week,” Frank said, hopping from one foot to another in excitement.

Gerard smiled fondly at his boyfriend’s excitement. “I didn’t know you played,” he said, shading in his sketch.

“Used to,” he replied, walking towards Gerard and sat down, putting the guitar down next to him gently as if it was a newborn baby. “W-what are you d-drawing?” he asked, moving Gerard’s hand to the side, allowing him to look at the drawing.

“Some superhero character. I’m not sure what their power is yet, they just look cool right now,” Gerard said, laughing slightly.

“L-looks good,” Frank complimented, squeezing the other boy’s hand. Gerard put the pencil down, intertwining their fingers together.

They both smiled and sat in silence for a bit, taking steady breaths and tried to gets rid of some of the stress of the ending school year.

“Will you play for me?” Gerard asked, suddenly. “Please?”

Frank ducked his head, blushing. He hadn’t played in the best part of ten years, so he knew full well that he’d be bad and miss chords, and probably embarrass himself. He shook his head, ignoring the disappointment that flashed in Gerard’s eyes. “O-one day,” he promised, leaning over and kissing his forehead gently.

“Promise me?” Gerard asked, a smile clear in his voice.

Frank backed away from the older boy and caught his gaze. He nodded – a silent promise.

***

The weekend finally came. Although they had a mound of homework to complete, they both decided to take the Friday night off, of once. Gerard called it a mental health day, which Frank eagerly agreed with.

It had been a few weeks since Gerard had called his mom. He’d messaged Mikey a couple of times throughout the weeks, asking how he was and how he was coping in school, but he didn’t get any update on how Frank’s case was going. He didn’t want to ask him mom constantly, but he needed to know. He wanted to tell Frank that it was going fine confidently and not talk hypothetically,

He typed in his mom’s number and she picked up on the second ring.

“About time you called,” she commended, laughing.

“I know – I know, I’ve been busy. School and all of that,” Gerard sighed. He walked to Frank’s bunk where the other boy was lying on his back, plucking at random strings on his (borrowed) guitar happily.

“I know, darling. It’s tough, but it’s nearly over with, right? You have some tests before Christmas and then you get t come home for two weeks,” his mom said.

“Yeah, I know. I want these weeks to be over with,” he sighed into the phone. He didn’t know how to bring up the topic he really wanted to talk about. It was nice that his mom showed interest in his school work, but that could wait.

“You’re probably phoning about Frank and his parents, aren’t you?” his mom said, quieter this time, and he heard her walk into another room.

“How did you-? Yeah, I did,” Gerard said, rolling his eyes a little. It was like mothers had a special ability to read the minds of their children.

“They haven’t come back with anything to confirm it because the process is very, very slow, and can’t rush this like they did for his case. They need to cross examine each person’s view and try and work whether Frank is lying or making it up.”

“He _wasn’t_ making it up,” Gerard hissed down the phone, narrowing his eyes.

“Yes, _we_ know that, but they don’t. These trials are hard to prove or disprove, you know? It just takes a while. I’m sorry I don’t have any more news about it,” Donna said.

Gerard felt a small amount of guilt rest in his stomach. He sighed, “Sorry. I know you can’t do anything about it. I just want his parents out of his life,” he whispered, facing away from Frank to try and hide what he was saying. However, he doubted that Frank was paying any attention because he was so engrossed in his guitar.

“We know, sweetheart,” Donna spoke softly. “We’ll get there, one day. We just need to wait a bit. Good things come to those who wait.”

Gerard hummed and nodded, which was stupid since his mom couldn’t see him. It was getting late and the sun was setting. “I need to go. Tell Mikey I say hi and that I miss him, too. See you soon, mom.”

“See you soon. Love you,” his mother said, just before hanging up. When the phone went dead, Gerard stayed sat on the edge of the bunk, the phone still in his hand. He bounced it on the palm of his hands for a few seconds before lifting himself from the bed, walking towards the plug sockets in the walls and putting it on charge.

He took the couple of steps back to the bed, flopping down onto the mattress. He positioned himself so his head and half of his back was resting on Frank’s legs which was acting like a backrest for him.

“W-who was that?” Frank asked. He stopped plucking at the guitar strings and put it on the floor to give Gerard his full attention.

“Just my mom. She was asking about how we were, and school. The usual,” he replied with a shrug. He shuffled up the bed to squash next to Frank on the narrow bed. Frank instinctively wrapped an arm around Gerard’s waist and buried his nose in the crook of his neck. He sighed, contently.

“H-how is she? And M-Mikey?” he asked, his face still pressed to his boyfriend’s neck.

“They’re good,” he responded. He turned on his side, still letting Frank rest on his shoulder, but giving him access to his hair. Gerard absentmindedly stroked his hair and smiled when Frank pushed up to his touch.

They were silent for a bit, Frank still breathing steadily onto Gerard’s skin, causing little goose bumps to appear due to the hot breath.

“You’ll definitely play something for me on your guitar, one day, right?” Gerard asked again, trying to remind Frank.

Frank smiled into Gerard’s neck, nodded and murmured something which he hoped sound like an agreeing sound.


	25. Chapter 25

There were only a few weeks left of school until the Christmas break, and Gerard or Frank couldn’t wait to get away from the cramped and smelly room. They couldn’t wait to get to Gerard’s house, have space to walk around normal sized rooms and eat actual food, not the quick sandwiches prepared by the school’s cooks.

However, before they had their two weeks free time, they had to struggle through mock tests. Although they didn’t count for anything, the pressure was still on. Somehow, they’d managed to make a bet between themselves and Ray (the person who sat next to Frank on his first English class) that they’d do best in certain subjects. It was stupid, really. It added unnecessary pressure to all three of them, but none of them wanted to admit it, not to one another.

They’d crossed out the subjects which they were all clearly best at. For Frank it was Music, for Gerard it was Art and for Ray it was English. They all agreed that there was no way they could come anywhere close to the nearly full marks achieved by each of them. They were all pretty much level in the sciences – Biology, Chemistry and Physics, as well as Math. So, their bet was on.

Ray didn’t have a very positive opinion on Gerard before. He’d always seen him as the one who ignored the instructions given by the nuns and muttering curses under his breath when they told him to do anything he didn’t want to. He’d always been quiet, probably _too_ quiet, and always drawing in his sketchbook, ignoring the world.

However, once they’d started talking early in December, they realised they had a lot in common. All of them, including Frank, had a deep love for punk rock bands. They spent hours arguing whether newer versions of the same songs were better than the older, or vice versa. More often than not, the older versions of the songs won, making Gerard slightly too happy.

It was late one December weekend and they’d invited Ray over to and hang out as well as trying and fit in some last minute revision. He’d brought over his collection of Green Day CDs and portable CD player, as Frank requested, and set them down on the bed.

“You should play _Dookie_ first,” Gerard suggested, picking up the album and turning it over in his hands to look at the back. “ _Longview_ is my favourite, and clearly their best song.”

Ray scoffed, pushing his curly hair from his face and shook his head. “You can’t be serious. _Scattered_ is the best, and _Nimrod_ is a great album.”

Frank laughed from his position on the floor, comfortable squashed next to Gerard as they had to make room for another person to sit cross legged with them.

“Okay, fine. If we can’t pick, Frank will,” he said, turning to face him. “Frank, which one, _Dookie_ or _Nimrod_?”

Frank pretended to be in deep thought by looking up at the ceiling and narrowing his eyes. He did this for a few long seconds before coming to a conclusion. “I d-don’t mind,” he said, laughing at the exasperated groans coming from the two boys around him.

“ _Nimrod_ it is, then!” Ray said, happily. He took the CD from Gerard’s hands and put it back in the small stack of plastic cases. He picked out the one he wanted, turned on the CD player and seconds later, Billie-Joe’s voice filled the room with the first couple of lines of _Nice Guys Finish_ _Last_.

“Fuck you, Toro,” Gerard laughed, flipping Ray off.

“Sorry, Way. My music, my rules. You know how it goes,” Ray said seriously at first before breaking out into a smile. “We should start revising. We only have a week before we actually have to do them. We can’t forget our bet, can we?” Ray smirked.

“No,” Frank and Gerard said together. Frank rested against Gerard’s left arm, pushing his legs up to rest the book he had to read for English. He flicked through a couple of pages, looking over the notes he had scribbled down on the sides in pencil and sighed.

Gerard had started looking through a History textbook. He rubbed his temple with the hand which wasn’t being restricted by Frank and reread the important dates he needed to know off by heart. Although, he couldn’t make himself care enough, but he had no choice. He let Billie-Joe’s voice fill his ears and flood his mind before looking back down at the book in front of him.

***

 _Seventeen and strung out on confusion_.

Frank couldn’t help but snort out a laugh. He couldn’t agree more. It was getting later and later, he was tired and nothing was making any sense. The notes he quickly wrote down in class may as well have been written in Greek, they made no sense.

He would have asked Ray if he could have copied his notes but they were all given different books to prevent this.

He rubbed his eyes and let out an annoyed huffing sound. He moved and rested his head sleepily on Gerard’s thigh. Gerard automatically started to play with Frank’s hair, doing the familiar thing of wrapping a few strands around his fingers gently and curling them up, before letting them go back to it pervious straight look.

Gerard still had his eyes on the book in front of him and Frank was half asleep, so neither of them noticed Ray look up and smile at the scene in front of him. He opened his mouth to say something, but decided against it when he saw Frank’s eyelids flutter shut and the completely relax against Gerard.

“I should get going,” Ray whispered as he stood up. He tiptoed over to the bottom bunk, stepping over Frank’s legs and reached over for his stuff. He gathered them up in his arms and nodded at Gerard. “I’ll see myself out. Thanks for having me over. It was fun.”

Gerard gave Ray a tired smile and a small wave as he left their room, closing the door quietly behind him.

It was far too late for him to be still sitting on the floor with his head in a history book. He closed the book and put in on the floor next to him. Next, he looked down at Frank, who had decided that his thigh was the most comfortable pillow in the world the moment he drifted off to sleep.

Gerard sighed, not wanting to wake him up but knowing he had to if he didn’t want to sit on the cold floor all night.

He started off nudging Frank’s arm gently, hoping that he wasn’t in a deep sleep. But, unfortunately, that didn’t work. All Frank did was produce a sleepy noise and snuggle down on Gerard more, which made a warm feeling shoot around his body.

“Frank,” Gerard whispered, using his second tactic. “You need to wake up, sweetheart. Come on.” He urged. Frank didn’t stir. Gerard felt kind of stupid, it was like he was talking to himself or a brick wall, but he didn’t give up trying.

He said Frank’s name a handful of times again, poking his arm gently and trying to wake him up in the nicest way possible.

Eventually, Frank’s eyes started to move under his eyelids and he let out a drowsy whimper and opened his eyes, squinting slightly due to the dim light above them. He smiled groggily when he saw Gerard looking down at him.

“Finally,” Gerard whispered and pulled Frank up onto his feet. “We need to sleep. It’s late.”

“S’not,” Frank said, his speech slurred by sleep.

“Believe me, it is.” Gerard laughed. He pushed Frank towards the lower bunk and made me lie down. “Sleep,” he managed to say before he yawned.

Once Gerard and lay down, too, Frank wrapped himself around him in some kind of human blanket. Luckily for him, it was cold in their room as December had finally hit, brining in the freezing storms and rain.

Gerard felt Frank’s body loosen and his breathes became even once again, implying that he fell asleep once more.

He lay in bed silently, listening to the wind howl through the trees, making the braches hit against one another which made a rattling sound. The sound alone could lull him into the deepest sleep, but the remaining leaves on the trees and other plants rustled as the gale whipped through them every once in a while, keeping him awake.

The rain hit the window, forming little rivers of single water droplets to run down the glass. The moon illuminated the pane of glass, making it easier for Gerard to see the paths of water being produced by them.

Following the patterns and streaks of water steadily with his eyes, he felt them become heavier and heavier until he drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These chapters are getting really short lately (sorry). I'm currently painting my room, meaning I can only comfortably write from 11PM onwards. Once my room is done, the chapters will get back to their usual 3k-4k words again.  
> xo


	26. Chapter 26

It was finally time for the mock tests they’d all be revising for and their first exam was English.

They were all asked to line up in their classes stand and outside main hall to wait for someone to show them inside.

Frank peered through a window to see what it was like inside. He saw the hall was lined with individual desks and had a paper on each. He gripped onto his pens, which he’d checked multiple times that they all worked in their room, despite Gerard’s warnings about how they’d run out if he kept on checking them and how that he didn’t need to worry about pen – the people supervising the exam would give him a new one if the ink ran out. However, Frank ignored him and continued scribbling random lines on scarp bits of paper.

“Do your pens work?” Gerard asked, poking his side playfully, smiling at him.

“Shhh,” Frank laughed. “O-of course they do.” Gerard laughed again, quietly with a shake of his head.

He subtly walked towards Frank and linked their fingers together. He squeezed his hand and gave him a weak smile. “Good luck,” Gerard managed whisper into Frank’s ear before they were called into the hall.

They unlinked their fingers from one another and walked slowly towards the hall, going over small key quotes and points they had to make in their heads before they made their way into the building.

***

Frank sat down at his designated desk, placing his thoroughly checked pens down and took a deep breath, exhaling steadily from his mouth. He had to wait a few minutes for everyone to slowly file into the hall from outside, giving him some time to calm the sickening nerves in his stomach.

Obviously, they weren’t allowed to open the paper in front of them until everyone was seated. Frank looked down at the test paper in front of him, reading over the instructions about which questions he had to answer and all the other general rules of the exam.

It felt like hours had passed by the time the last person took their seat and the door closed swiftly behind them, stopping the draft that Frank hadn’t noticed was there. The exam invigilator – a short woman, probably in her late fifties, with grey hair which curled at the end, stood at the front of the hall, facing the students. She read out the rules on the front of the paper and stated the current time with the time to exam would end. Once she finished speaking, the people around Frank reached for their pens, messily writing their names on the front, so he copied.

Being fairly new to the school, Frank wasn’t sure how the exam would start. In his previous school, someone had told them to start, but every school was different. Apparently, in this school, when the students had written their names down, the exam started.

Frank quickly snapped out of this trance of looking around the hall, checking what everyone was doing and opened the paper.

He gazed down at the questions in front of him. They were set out in one two mark question, one four marks, one ten marks and two twenty-five marks questions. He gulped. He read over the questions again.

He felt his stomach tighten and the sickening feeling rise.

Everyone felt some kind of anxiety in exams, it was natural, but for something that didn’t have any impact on his grade, Frank felt a little too anxious. Thoughts about getting anything lower than a Pass haunted him as he tried to write down suitable answers. If he got lower than a C, would Donna be disappointed? Would Gerard be, too? He thought about if for longer. He thought about his parents and how they’d yell at him if he didn’t get the straight A’s they wanted him to get. He thought about how he was locked in his room for hours, with nothing to do, when he came home with his report card with a B in one class. It taught him that he _had_ to be the best, otherwise there were consequences.

He’d let his mind wonder but he was still scribbling down words furiously. He stopped for a second, checking over what he had written and making sure that it was relevant to the question. They were already twenty minutes into the exam, leaving them a mere forty minutes left to complete the two long essay questions.

Frank was better at the longer questions. It allowed him to expand his answers, giving them more depth and understanding, which would hopefully gain him some marks.

He clicked his fingers, inwardly cringing at the sound and put his head down to finish the test before time ran out.

***

“I _hated_ that,” was the first thing Gerard said as he collapsed onto the bed, throwing his pen somewhere in the room. “I’m one hundred percent sure everything I studied for didn’t come up, and everything I didn’t do did. What’s up with that?”

Both Frank and Ray laughed at Gerard’s despair. Frank walked into the room and placed his hands on Gerard’s shoulders, squeezing them a little. “You know how it is. If you don’t revise it, it _will_ be in the exam. It’s as if the people who write them know,” Ray said, leaning against the door frame.

“Yeah, but – whatever. How did you feel about it, Frankie?” he asked, turning his head slightly to look at him.

Frank’s cheeks turned crimson at the nickname and shrugged, “answered a-all the q-questions.”

“Good, good,” Ray said, still standing in the doorway. “Do you two want to come to my dorm for a bit? It’s just up the hallway.”

Gerard stood up eagerly, just missing his head on the metal beams holing the upper bunk up. “Sure,” he grinned, tugging at Frank’s hand.

Ray laughed and led the way to his room.

***

Much like Frank's and Gerard’s dorm, it was small, square and impersonal but somehow it seemed so much bigger.

“It’s only me in this room,” Ray explained, dumping his bag on the floor near the desk and kicking it underneath. “That’s why the other bunk is covered in papers. No one uses it.”

Ray walked over to the bunk bed and pushed the books and other papers onto the floor and kicked them all (untidily) under the bed and made a space for them to sit.

“There’s not much to do in my room, but I have all my music here,” he spoke, gesturing towards a pile of plastic cases in the far corner of the room next to the CD player.

Frank crouched down near Ray’s music and looked through them. Gerard looked over at him and smiled at how happy he looked while looking at the album covers.

Ray pulled the chair from under his desk and placed it opposite Gerard who was sitting on the bottom bunk. He lifted an eyebrow at Ray with a curious expression.

“What?” he laughed uneasily.

“When did you become so soft, Way? You used to be a little shit last year, but now you’re actually talking to people. What gotten into you?” Ray asked quietly with a small smile.

Gerard was taken aback with Ray’s bluntness and opened his mouth a few times to answer, but nothing came out. Eventually he managed to say, “I was never – you thought that?”

Ray shrugged, “everyone did, believe me. You didn’t answer my question. What made you change so quickly? Was it...?” he asked, discreetly pointing to Frank who was still too busy examining the disks inside the cases to hear, or care, what they were saying.

Gerard considered denying it, but knowing his attempts would be pointless he gave a quick nod and gave Ray a weak smile. “You’re not bothered by it, right?” he asked, biting his thumb nail nervously.

“No, of course not. I’m not an asshole. If he makes you happy then that’s fine by me.”

Gerard beamed at him and whispered, “Thanks.”

Ray waved his hand in the air, dismissing the gratitude. “I didn’t think love could change someone so much,” he said, rather dramatically.

Gerard leaned over and punched Ray’s arm gently. “Shut up, Toro. You’re just jealous.”

“Maybe I am, maybe I am,” he said just before Frank crawled up to them both, gripping _Evilive_ in his hands.

“Misfits, good choice,” Gerard commented as Frank got up off the floor and made himself comfortable pressed up to him. Ray reached over, took the album from Frank’s hand and slotted it into the stereo.

Gerard relaxed against Frank as the first few notes of _20 Eyes_ played out from the speakers.

***

It was getting close to nine in the night when Ray reached over to his desk and retrieved a laptop from the surface. He turned it on, typing in his passwords and opening up _Netflix_ once the internet browser had come up.

“Any suggestions?” he asked, turning towards Gerard who was lying across the floor with Frank peacefully resting his cheek on the older boy’s chest.

“Don’t mind,” he replied to Ray. “Do you have anything you want to watch, baby?” he asked Frank, petting his hair softly. Frank shrugged against him. “Whatever you want, Ray.”

Ray nodded and searched through the library of films until he came across a film which made him snort out a laugh. “They have fucking _Sharknado_ on here. It’s so shit, I love it,” he laughed, clicking on the film.

“W-what’s it about?” Frank asked, trying to hide a yawn and sat up from his lying position, dragging Gerard with him.

Ray scooted back to his two friends and brought the laptop so it was in front of him. “You’ll see,” he chuckled as the title screen came up.

***

When the film finally ended, all three were sitting in stunned silence, staring down at the small computer screen.

“What was...? Well – “ Gerard said, still unsure what to make of what he’d just seen. Ray let out a laugh and spluttered, trying to hide it. “When you said it was shit, you really weren’t kidding. How many stars did it get? – Did it get any?” he laughed.

“Um, I’ll have a look,” Ray said, quickly typing in the film into Google. Once he found the right site, he scanned down the page until it got to the star rating. “It got just over three stars on IMDb,” he said, turning to face the others.

“More than I expected,” Gerard giggled and rested his cheek on the top of Frank’s head, who had fallen asleep within twenty minutes of the film starting.

“Must’ve been tired,” Ray said in a soft voice and walked to sit on the desk chair which they’d pushed to the side of the room.

Gerard hummed, “Yeah, he gets tired when he’s stressed out.”

“The exams stressed him out that much? They didn’t count for anything.”

Gerard let out a humourless laugh. “You don’t know him like I do. Believe me; these tests will stress him out far too much. Probably more than what the actual ones will do to us.”

“Why’s that?” Ray asked, quietly. He abandoned the desk chair he was getting and sat on the floor with Frank and Gerard, crossing his legs.

He couldn’t tell Ray the details. Mainly because he couldn’t do what he did to him when he told his mom. The pure hurt and betrayal in his eyes from that night still stayed with Gerard. No, he could do that. Secondly, the court case was still ongoing. Although Frank had already spoken and given his evidence, his parents were still being questioned and the judge and other members of the court were still looking over Frank’s trail and working out what the best option would be for him. Even though their lawyer, Mr Roberts, said it would be fine, and there was a very high chance of them wining the case, it was still hypothetical. Nothing was official. Yet.

“Family pressure?” Gerard suggested, trying to sound like he didn’t know what Frank’s parents were like to him. He could only imagine what they’d do to him if he wasn’t the perfect straight A student. It was ridiculous. Parents should be proud of their children if they tried their best, but Frank’s parents were your ordinary couple.

However, Ray seemed to buy Gerard’s lame suggestion and gave an understanding nod. “I know how that feels.”

_No, you don’t_ , Gerard thought to himself, but he didn’t say anything, he just smiled.

Frank let out a sleepy mumble and nuzzled into Gerard’s neck as if he was reminding them that he was there.

“We should get going. It’s probably really late,” Gerard yawned, and rolled his neck, clicking the muscles. Frank groaned, but this time it was more annoyed than anything else. “Sorry,” he whispered to him, petting his hair again. “Thanks for the movie, even though it was fucking awful, but it was fun.”

Ray smiled and stretched, “You’re welcome. You two can come back whenever you want, know you know where I am.”

“We will,” Gerard promised and started to wake Frank up gently.

***

Gerard ended up carrying Frank to their room because every time he tried to lift him up, Frank whined and refused to move. Luckily, it was only down the hall, so carrying him the short distance to their dorm wasn’t too bad.

“You’re so grumpy when you’re tired,” he said with a laugh as he put Frank down on the mattress.

Frank grumbled something incoherent and pulled the covers over his head. Gerard sighed and pulled them off him.

“You need to change. You can’t sleep in your uniform again. It’ll get untidy.”

Frank groaned and rolled towards the edge of the bed. He placed his feet on the floor and unsteadily stood up. Once he tried to remove the blurry vision from his eyes, he made his way slowly to the bathroom, collecting his crumpled pyjamas from the bottom of his bed.

“Thank you,” Gerard sang, sweetly, ignoring Frank’s sound of disgust as he closed the door behind him.

Gerard stretched and decided to follow his own advice and change into more comfortable clothing, too. He slipped off his school trousers, neatly folding them into a pile and putting it on top of the draws. He rummaged through them to find some old sweatpants and put them on quickly. Next, he took of his blazer and shirt, and folded them up neatly. He put them on top of his trousers and made sure they didn’t fall over. He quickly found a hoodie he brought from home and put it on, sighing slightly as he felt the soft fabric touch his skin. It was such a nice feeling compared to his stiff uniform.

Frank emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later. His hair was sticking up everywhere and he had his uniform in a ball under his arm. He threw it near the bed, not caring where it landed or how untidily it was and walked back to the bed. He raised an eyebrow at Gerard as if to say ‘ _there?_ ’ and got back under the covers with a smirk.

“See, it wasn’t that hard,” Gerard said, walking towards Frank. Frank instantly moved towards the wall, giving Gerard space to squash next to him.

“I c-can’t wait to go back t-to yours,” Frank yawned. “T-there’s space t-to lie next to y-you there.”

“I know, sweetheart,” Gerard replied, wrapping an arm around Frank’s waist and pulling him closer. Frank put his head under Gerard’s chin, who pressed against the crown on his head softly. “Only a week or so left and then we’ll be home.”

Frank nodded slightly and yawned. “N-night, Gerard. Love y-you.”

“I love you, too, Frank.” Gerard whispered, placing small kissing on the top of his head until Frank quickly looked upwards, crashed their lips together. It was ungraceful; teeth hitting teeth, messy and probably with enough force to bruise their lips, but Frank couldn’t help but pull away and laugh.

“What?” Gerard asked, smiling down at Frank who continued to laugh uncontrollably. “What?” Gerard repeated.

“I – I l-love you, so mu – much,” he said between fits of giggles.

Gerard rolled his eyes, still smiling, “Love you, too, but you’re so fucking tired. Sleep.”

“Asshole,” Frank muttered before curling up next to Gerard, letting sleep over take him at last.

 


	27. Chapter 27

Both Donna and various Sisters in the school told Gerard that his time in school would go in a blink of an eye. Of course, like many of the other students, he didn’t believe them. He thought that he’d die in school, still following the same tedious routine with the same small room which he loathed so much. He believed that the last year would go the slowest and never reach the end of his school career. He couldn’t wait to leave and get to college, and to study what he wanted to without the constant pressure from the nuns teaching the subjects he couldn’t make himself care about.

But, like many things, they were right. Before he or Frank knew it, they’d finally reached the end of the winter term and were packing their clothes and books into random bags and suitcases to go back to the Way’s house for Christmas.

Gerard bent down, opening a drawer and taking out his non-school uniform clothes. He folded them neatly into the bag behind him. They had both previously changed out of their nightclothes, in time for Donna to pick them up from the front of the school. All they had to do was make sure they didn’t leave anything behind.

Like before, they didn’t have much to take with them other than the essentials. They didn’t have any time to fit in shopping trips in due to the hectic study sessions with Ray and the piles of homework and essays which the Sisters insisted on giving them regardless of the upcoming tests.

Gerard heard Frank shout ‘ _fuck_ ’, to no one in particular, from the bathroom when the bottle he was haphazardly throwing into a plastic bag hit the floor with a bang.

Laughing at Frank’s sudden outburst, he abandoned his packing to check what had happened. He stood up and walked to the bathroom. The first thing he saw when he poked his head around the corner was Frank who was looking furiously down at a bottle of shampoo that had fallen to the floor, spilling its contents everywhere.

The floor was covered in a thin layer of nicely scented shampoo, making it have a shiny pink tinge, and probably extremely slippery.

Unaware that Gerard was watching him from the doorway; Frank grabbed a handful of toilet paper, knelt on the floor and started to mop up the mess. The toilet paper quickly became covered in the shampoo, making them unusable. Grumbling to himself, Frank turned around, throwing the used paper in the toilet. When he turned around again, he looked up and saw Gerard looking down at him, trying his best not to laugh. Frank raised an eyebrow, Gerard lost his composure.

Frank shook his head and made low sounds of complaint at Gerard who was still blatantly laughing at him.

“Sorry,” Gerard gasped, wrapping his arms around his stomach to try and stop himself giggling, again. “I’ll help you,” he said, quickly walked out of the room to grab a pile of towels that were folded on the bed, ready to be packed, but he hadn’t put into the bags yet.

Gerard re-entered the bathroom and saw that Frank was now sitting down, staring hopelessly at the puddle of hair products in front of him. Evidently, the tissues didn’t absorb much of it, and just left smaller bits of paper among the shampoo instead of removing the mess from the floor. Frank heard Gerard open the more, allowing himself in without knocking the towels from his arms, and looked up. He smiled when he saw them in the older boy’s arms, and reached up for one. Gerard responded by throwing one down at him, with a quick smile.

They cleaned in up in moderate silence, with only Gerard breaking it by humming a tune he heard on the radio a while back under his breath.

It wasn’t too hard to get rid of it, really. Compared to Frank’s endless struggle with the tissues, the towels managed to clean it up in less than ten minutes. Gerard threw them into the small bath, reminding himself to quickly put them through the wash once they were home.

Frank was the first to stand up, clicking his back and stretching. He smiled apologetically at Gerard who smiled back, shaking his head.

“We have to finishing packing,” Gerard said, standing up and walking to their bedroom together.

***

Jersey winters were usually cold, but that day decided to be especially cold with a freezing breeze to add. Luckily, it wasn’t raining, but the clouds above them were turning darker as every minute went by.

Frank and Gerard were huddled together outside the school gates, clutching their bags while waiting for Donna to pull up in her car. It was much like before in the autumn months, but this time it was in silence as Gerard’s iPod had ran out of charge just before they left the warmth of their dorm room, much to their irritation.

They stood outside school, watching the other students being picked up by smiling parents, greeting them fondly before they’re hurried into various cars and busses and sped off down the road to spend Christmas together.

Frank tried to control the jealousy bubbling in the bottom of his stomach when he saw the happy scenes in front of him. He couldn’t remember the last time his parents showed any affection towards him, never mind hugged him. Although Donna gave him the occasional hug and loving smile, it wasn’t the same as a hug from his own parents.

He put his bag on the floor, keeping it upright between his legs, and shoved his hands in his coat pockets. He huffed. It wasn’t fair. Gerard went home to his family, even though Frank tagged along and was welcomed into their household, but it wasn’t like going home to his family. He still thought about the idyllic family setting; two loving parents and him, laughing together and doing the typical things families did over the holiday period.

But it wasn’t like that. There were no happy Christmases sitting on the couch, opening presents, Christmas music playing quietly in the background, and smiling gleefully when his parents handed him to biggest box with a massive bow adorning the top.

There wasn’t a gathering of both sides of the family coming together and, somehow, fitting into their house, crushing around their dining room table to feast on the food prepared by him mom and brought in by the others.

Come to think of it, Frank hadn’t seen his extended family since he came out.

His usual Christmas included being dragged off to Mass in the early morning, praying, saying a forced Merry Christmas to his parents and then being sent off to his room. There was no present giving, no cards, and no laughing along to the overplayed Christmas tunes on the radio.

Once he was old enough, his parents left the house without him, presumably off celebrating in the holiday cheer. This left Frank alone in the house. His house didn’t wasn’t decorated like most. Usually, his mom put up a fake tree, which was probably years older than Frank. The branches were thinning of their plastic spines and some branches were missing all together. As well as that, the majority of the branches drooped, and there were only some old lights snaking between them and an angel on the very top of it. There was no excessive decorations, his father said they were unneeded and a waste of money whenever Frank used to bring it up when he was younger.

So, he was stuck in his room, alone, with the never ending draft coming from the window. He tried to fill in the small cracks with his blankets and clothes, but the cold air always managed to get around his barriers, replacing the barely warm air in his room.

To Frank, Christmas was just another day.

This time was ever so slightly different. Gerard didn’t have to ask Donna if Frank could stay with them. He had no choice. Donna was instructed to keep him away from his parents; they said it was for his safety. Of course, Gerard’s mom happily agreed and was more than happy to have someone else sharing their Christmas festivities.

It wasn’t like Frank wanted to go back to his parents’ house for Christmas. He couldn’t think of anything worse.

Perhaps this upcoming Christmas could be the best one he’d had in years.

Still lost in thought, Frank started to pick at the loose threads which joined the fleecy fabric to his coat, in his pockets, and bit his lip. He knew that the coat was getting old now, and he probably needed to buy a new one sooner or later.

He needed a job.

The cold wind picked up, finally brining Frank out of his thoughts, and making them both shiver in unison.

Most of the people had left by now and it was getting darker, and colder. Although it was only approaching four in the afternoon, but the storm clouds were rolling in, making it seem later than it was.

Gerard looked up at the clouds and sighed, “It’ll probably rain in a bit, but my mom should be here soon.”

As if on cue, Donna’s car sped around the corner, coming to an abrupt halt directly in front of them. She lowered the window closest to them and stuck her head of it. She smiled brightly when she saw them. “Sorry I was late. The traffic was awful. Get in.”

Frank picked up his bag from the floor and stumbled slightly when Gerard started to pull him towards the car door. He opened it, allowing Frank to shuffle in first and to throw his bag behind him, into the boot. He quickly followed, sitting down next to Frank and grinning widely.

“Home. Finally,” Gerard said, yawning, and rested his cheek on the younger boy’s shoulder as Donna drove away from the school gates.

***

The drive back to Gerard’s managed to take even longer than before. The last minute Christmas shoppers were out in force, picking up decorations and a variety of food for the upcoming celebrations as Christmas was only a few days away.

The roads were lined with parked cars outside jolly looking stores with bright colourful lights sparkling in their windows, in an attempt to attract as many people as possible. Some stores had massive inflatable Father Christmas’ and snowmen, singing and dancing in time to a Christmas tune behind the glass.

It suddenly dawned upon Frank that he hadn’t bought any gifts for anyone, not even Gerard. He’d probably have to take his small amount of money and try and stretch it as far as possible. He had no idea what to get Donna and Mikey, and guessed that Gerard would like anything related to art.

Donna tapped her fingernails on the steering wheel along to a song quietly playing on the radio as they were stuck in the fifth traffic jam of the journey home.

It was almost pitch black, too. The clouds had covered any remaining light coming from the winter sun and the wind had picked up. It howled past the car, through the trees and against the people walking outside. They pulled their hoods down, protected themselves from the harsh gusts of freezing wind as they walked between buildings, shopping bags in hand.

Gerard’s mom turned around in the front seat, facing the two boys in the back. Gerard had fallen asleep against Frank’s upper arm a while ago, peacefully snoring and seemingly obvious to the storm raging outside the car. Donna smiled softly at Frank, who returned the gesture. “We should be home in under an hour. Try and sleep, you look shattered.”

Frank smiled, again, and agreed. He was tired. He never slept well in school. The beds were too small for one person, never mind two, and they always seemed too stiff and hospital-like.

He put his cheek on the top of Gerard’s head. Luckily, Gerard was a deep sleeper and didn’t notice the extra weight added, and Frank closed his eyes.

Just as Frank’s eyes started to feel too heavy to open, the first pitter-patters of rain hit the car’s roof, and before long, the downpour started. He was quickly fast asleep despite the uncomfortable angle of his neck.

***

Donna thought the storm would’ve passed by the time they reached home, but it had only become worse as the journey progressed. The wind had increased from a strong breeze to a board line hurricane and she considered boarding up the windows to protect them, but as she looked down the street and noticed that no one, not even their over cautious neighbour, Mr. McKenzie, had done anything, she decided against the hassle of finding the wooden panels.

The storm would go in due time.

Just as she was about to open the car door, the wind increased, making it harder to get out. She struggled to open the door for a few moments, before the winds finally weakened. Winter air rushed into the car, making Frank and Gerard shiver simultaneously in their sleep, and curl up to one another more.

Donna was convinced that the cold air hitting them would be enough to awaken them both, but as they were both teenagers, she guessed they could sleep through an ice age without noticing a slight temperate change.

Sighing to herself, Donna got off from the seat and bowed her head against the winds as she walked to the rear of the car. She opened the boot, grabbed Frank’s and Gerard’s luggage and shut the door before walking into the house.

She didn’t need to bother unlocking it as Mikey had stayed home. He knew the weather would only get worse, and didn’t see why he had any need to join his mother for the four hour journey. Donna didn’t need any extra stress as Christmas was around the corner, and she’d just managed to get everyone’s presents hidden under the tree the previous night. So, Mikey stayed home, playing videogames on one condition: the he helped bring in the bags as all three would be too tired to unpack much.

Compared to outside, the house was a little piece of heaven. There was no wind or no rain, just warmth, the smell of pine needles from the Christmas tree in the far corner of the living room, and the overwhelming scene of _home_ – a blessing after the hectic drive back.

Donna neatly put the bags onto the couch, making sure they weren’t going to fall over when she went back outside to the car to wake up her son and Frank.

Bracing herself, she opened the front and tried to ignore the slight stinging feeling on her face as her warm skin hit the cool air.

She jogged to the car, keys in hand, and swung the closest door open, not realising that Frank was using it as a backrest. Frank awoke with a yelp, gripping onto the headrests to stop himself from tumbling out of the car backwards, onto the hard ground. He looked up at Donna, shocked.

“Sorry.” she quickly apologised, supporting his back so he didn’t fall out. “We’re home, and it’s nearly 11PM. I’ve put your bags in the house; all you have to do is lock the car. I’ll see you in a bit.” Gerard’s mom put her car keys on Frank’s lap, shutting the door behind her and quickly walked back to the house.

The streetlight above them cast a hazy orange colour through the car, making Frank’s eyelids feel heavy, but he had to wake up Gerard. They couldn’t sleep in the car all night. All he had to do was wake up Gerard, but this was easier said than done.

At first, he moved a little, lifting the arm Gerard was sleeping on, but instead of waking up, he just nuzzled into the younger boy’s arm more. Once that didn’t work, he tried moving his legs and sitting up straighter against the car door. It was uncomfortable – the old-fashioned handles to wind down the windows jabbed into his back – but Gerard slid off his arm and onto his thigh.

Frank saw Gerard eyes started to move beneath his eyelids, showing that he was finally waking up. It didn’t take long for a sleep dazed Gerard to open his eyes and stretch, nearly punching Frank in the nose. He mumbled an apology to Frank while yawing. Gerard then blinked a handful of times, and smiled sleepily up at him.

He wriggled around before he was sat up against Frank’s side happily, and rubbed his eyes a few times. “We’re home, then?” Gerard asked, groggily. Frank nodded. And with that, both of them got out of the car in the least gracious way possible and made their way to the comfort of Gerard’s house and, eventually, his room.

***

They didn’t spend much time greeting Donna or Mikey properly; they just mumbled some form of ‘hello’ and stumbled towards the stairs to Gerard’s room, half asleep and unaware to the Christmas decorations hanging all around them.

Gerard’s mom had already been down there before she went to pick them up. She’d changed the sheets, tucking them in nicely, and placed two pairs of pyjamas on each bed. Gerard laughed to himself, causing Frank to look at him with a confused expression.

“She thinks we’ll sleep in separate beds,” he said, still laughing softly.

Shaking his head and laughing lightly, Frank walked over to the other single bed where a pair of grey sweatpants and an old t-shirt with a faded band logo were folded neatly on top of the duvet. He picked them up and draped them over his arm. He thought about changing in the bathroom, but he was too tired and couldn’t be bothered walking into the bathroom, especially not onto the cold tiles.

Removing any doubts from his mind, he sat down on the edge of what was supposed to be his bed, which he’d never slept on, well, alone at least, and untied the laces of his shoes. Once they were loose enough, he kicked them off, pushing them closer to the bed and started to take off his coat. It was still wet from the rain outside, so he walked over to Gerard’s desk chair, barefooted, and put it over the back of it.

As he walked back to the bed, he started to unzip his hoodie. A cold shiver ran down his spine when the cool air reached his bare neck. Why was Gerard’s room so cold? He swiftly took off his t-shirt and stood in the room, semi-naked, while he unfolded his pyjama top. He could help but hear a stiffened gasp from the corner.

He forgot Gerard was still in the room and a deep shade of red spread across his face. He shouldn’t have been shy, he was his boyfriend, but there was something about standing in full view of someone else who was still fully clothed that make Frank feel increasingly more uncomfortable.

Gerard walked towards him, reaching out and stopping him putting on his other shirt, not taking his eyes off him. Goose bumps started to appear all over Frank’s skin, partly due to the temperature and partly to do with the way Gerard was looking at him.

The way Gerard was looking – staring – at him made Frank shift uncomfortably under his gaze. It was late and he was tired, but his boyfriend looked like he had other ideas.

Gerard’s eye traced Frank’s arm, looking at his small star tattoo with interest. His eyes flickered to his chest, just above his nipple, where he had a flame tattooed with ‘Hope’ written underneath it.

His expression quickly changed from one of pure lust to interest. He took another step towards Frank. He held his wrists with both of his hands and wrapped Frank’s hands around his waist. Frank clasped his hands together, holding Gerard close to him. Gerard gently wrapped his arms around the younger boy’s neck, but didn’t pull him close to him.

“What?” He whispered, looking Gerard in the eyes.

“Talk to me about your tattoos. I’ve always wanted to know about them,” Gerard explained, simply.

Frank let out an airy laugh and unlinked his hands from Gerard back, stepped back from him. “C-can I get c-changed first? I’m cold.”

Gerard laughed, “Of course.”

***

It was approaching one in the morning when both of them flopped down on Gerard’s bed. They squashed together, throwing the fresh covers over themselves and huddling down together. They listened to the wind and rain hitting the small window for a few minutes until Frank broke the peacefully silence.

“Remember t-that letter I wrote f-for you when we f-first met?” he asked, whispering.

Gerard thought back to it. It was months ago now, in early September when Frank confessed everything to him one night. He stayed silent but nodded.

“I’ve a-always liked, no, _loved_ tattoos – they’re a w-work of art, literally. There’s j-just something a-about them... art on y-your body _forever._ Well, when I w-was sixteen, I w-went to someplace w-which a few of the p-people in my school r-recommended. They usually w-want a p-parent with you when y-you get a tattoo under eighteen – t-the law and shit, b-but they didn’t ask a-any questions. Plus, t-they were cheap. I got t-the star.” He pointed awkwardly to the black star tattooed in on the inner elbow. “I g-got two that day, w-which was stupid. Being a t-tattoo virgin, I t-totally underestimated the _pain_ , b-but I couldn’t back down then, i-it was too late. Then I g-got ‘I wish I were a ghost’ tattooed i-in red around my w-wrist.”

Gerard cut in, “Why did you get that? The ‘I wish I were a ghost’ one?”

Frank blushed. “I, uh, I w-write lyrics, sometimes. I j-just liked those ones. T-they stood out t-to me a lot,” he shrugged. “Wrist t-tattoos hurt l-like a bitch. T-they warned me, b-but I ignored the t-tattoo artists.” Frank added, changing the subject.

Gerard wanted to ask what the lyrics meant, if they had any meaning at all, but kept his questions to himself. They sounded too personal for now. Instead he said, “I’d never get a tattoo. I’m petrified of needles.”

Frank nodded, understandingly. He took a deep breath before finishing up his little back-story on his tattoos. “A-and I’m not s-sure what this one m-means. I don’t think it h-has one.” He said, looking down at his chest area where his ‘Hope’ tattoo was. “J-just really w-wanted it, I guess.”

Gerard loved how Frank knew how conservative his parents were and how they hated anything out of the ordinary, and getting tattoos – never mind illegal ones – was certainly out there. He admired Frank on how he went out and did something that he knew he’d be reprimanded for, but did it nonetheless.

“Do you think you’ll get any more?” he asked, rolling them both over so they could face one another properly.

“Maybe,” Frank replied, thoughtfully. He buried his hands under the covers and found Gerard’s. They held hands under the warmth of the blankets and smiled.

The storm had died down by now. The intensity of the wind was no longer a strong, and the panes of glass didn’t wattle in their frames. It was peaceful, but not eerie like it would be before a bigger gale hit New Jersey.

The raindrops were still trickling down the glass, forming their own little rivers which were illuminated by the Christmas lights twinkling from their neighbour’s house.

They were quiet for a while, and Gerard stayed quiet, listening to the distant sound of rain hitting the saturated ground outside. He thought back to their earlier conversation and how Frank mentioned he wrote lyrics. Suddenly, Gerard had an idea.

“Frank?” Gerard whispered into the darkness. He fully expected to be greeted with silence as Frank appeared to be asleep, but luckily for him, Frank mumbled something into Gerard’s pillow which sounded like a reply. “Would you ever sing for me? With your lyrics?” he asked, trying to keep his excitement low.

Frank hummed and opened his eyes an inch. “One d-day I will,” he replied, and that was good enough for Gerard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter it'll be Christmas in fic-time, and I'm fucking excited. I love this holiday a lot, so it'll probably be quite long.
> 
> I'm back at school now for the next five/six weeks, so update won't be at regular times. I'll try to make them once a week, but I'm making no promises.
> 
> If this fic isn't updated frequently, it isn't dead or that I've just left it; it's probably because I'll be up to my neck with A Level homework and research.
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter!  
> xo


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, a Christmas chapter!

Donna’s alarm went off with a loud and incessant beeping noise. She groaned at an ungodly hour of the morning she had to wake up on to prepare for the festivities ahead. As much as she wanted to ignore it and go back to sleep – much like a teenager would do when their alarm went off for school – she sleepily sat up, resting against the headboard of her bed and turned off the alarm.

Christmas was finally upon them, and she had to wake up hours in advance to add the finishing touches to the decorations, start prepared the food – in addition to Frank’s vegetarian options which she’d never attempted before – as well as wrap the presents for the boys.

She sat in bed for a while longer and made a plan of action for the day in her head. It was approaching six in the morning, hours before anyone else would wake up. Luckily for her, once Gerard and Mikey had reached their teenage years, they slept in instead of waking up at the crack of dawn and insisting on opening the small gifts in their Christmas stockings.

She got out of bed and instantly felt the cold air in the room hit her skin. She shivered and walked towards the wardrobe where her warmest dressing gown was. Donna quickly put it on, tying the cord around her waist to hold the two sides on the fluffy material together. With a sigh, she left her room and into the even colder main part of the house.

***

With a cup of coffee in her hand, she sat down at the dimly lit kitchen at the table. She hadn’t bothered putting on the main light; the only source of light was from the white fairy lights which were bordering the window frames. It gave the room a cosy feel, allowing her to forget the freezing cold temperature.

In front of here was an array of Christmas wrapping paper, gift tags, and bows to adorn the presents and, of course, the gifts themselves all across the table, covering every inch of the wooden surface.

She took advantage of her oldest son and Frank being away from home and did all their Christmas shopping first. Gerard had asked for mainly art supplies, comic books and a handful of albums – a typical request for him. They were easy to get and she knew where to get them. It was the same for Mikey. He usually wanted similar presents to Gerard, with the exception of art supplies which she substituted with money. Frank, however, was a problem. She was stuck with what to get him. She looked around various stores, full of Christmas shoppers walked the aisles in search of the perfect gifts to give to their loved ones. After strolling around for hours, she ended up calling Gerard to get some hints to what he would want. Gerard was more than happy to give some suggestions.

To make the time pass quicker, Donna walked over to the small stereo system and pressed the ‘play’ button. Instantly, the room was filled with the voice of Frank Sinatra singing about white Christmas. She lowered the volume, ensuring that it was loud enough for her to hear but not too loud to wake up the rest of the household.

She made her way back to the table and sat down on the chair. Donna took a small mouthful of her coffee and set it down beside her. She picked up the first gift, looked at it for a few seconds, and started to wrap it in snowflake decorated paper as quietly as possible, even though she knew the slight rustling of paper wouldn’t wake anyone up if the music didn’t.

***

The sky had started to turn from an ink black to a pinkish orange, colouring the clouds in similar shades when she _finally_ stuck the last bow on top of a neatly wrapped box. Although there were only a few presents that needed to be wrapped and a handful of Christmas cards to write, she underestimated the amount of time needed to have them perfectly presented.

She bundled them under her arms and placed them around the tree in the living room among the smaller presents off friends and family. She put them at the front – pride of place – and walked back into the kitchen.

Donna reached the bookcase and flipped through some cookbooks until she found the ones she needed. While she walked to the countertops, she leafed through some pages of the books, picking out recipes for both meat eaters and vegetarians.

Over the last few weeks or so, she’d been looking through recipes – both in books and online – for Frank. Most of the recipes she found seemed bland, just a pile of seasonal roasted vegetables and maybe some meat substitute. She spent a while searching the internet, looking on vegetarian forums and a multitude of sources before she came across something that was too hard, full of preservatives or needed a lot of preparation. It was perfect.

However, it was only early and the mere thought of starting to cook this soon made Donna feel a sense of unhappiness spread through her. Instead, she walked from the kitchen and into the living room where most of the Christmas decorations were.

The room was never too large to start off with, but Mikey had insisted on them getting the biggest tree from the Christmas market. The tree towered above them when they stood in front of the selection of trees which were all different heights and types. Donna’s suspicions about it not actually fitting in the room were ignored by Mikey as he eagerly pointed out the one he wanted to the stall owner who laughed at Donna’s exasperated expression.

If getting into the house wasn’t hard enough, getting it _to_ the house was. They looked like a Christmas stenotype – a tree happily strapped onto the roof of their car with rope that could keep an elephant virtually motionless. It all seemed unnecessary to Donna, but the owner was adamant about it – apparently it was all needed in case the tree happened to come off while they were driving along the motorway.

When they got home, tree still in place, Mikey ran indoors and collected the scissors and other sharp objects to get the tree into the correct place. As well as this, he opened the door as wide as it could go, cleaning a small path between the front door all the way to the stand where the it would live for the next two week.

He quickly retuned, scissors and knives in hand, and started to cut away at the ropes. It didn’t take long to free it, and for Donna to walk around the front, dragging it over the bonnet of the car. She called for Mikey to grab the middle as they hauled it inside.

They struggled for a bit. The pine needles stabbing their hands occasionally as well as having a face full of foliage didn’t help. It was hard for Mikey to see over or around the tree, so his mom called out when the steps and other obstacles were coming so he didn’t trip.

Donna walked backwards, looking behind her every once in a while to make sure she didn’t walk into anything herself.

Turning the corner into the kitchen from the hallway was the hardest part. The very tip of the tree knocked into anything which wasn’t significantly hidden on the surfaces, making them crash to the floor with long thuds and bangs. Praying nothing had broken, Donna continued, pushing the debris on the floor to the side, and making sure she remembered to inspect it later on.

Eventually, they made in into the room where the tree was intended to be. Together they pushed the tree up, securing it into the stand. They stood back and admired the gigantic tree which they’d just dragged in from outside and smiled to one another.

Mikey had decorated the tree. There were metres of tinsel shining in the midst of the dark green leaves, Christmas baubles reflecting light from the small bulbs snaking through, and a mound of other (more sentimental) decorations. Donna looked up lovingly at the ‘First Christmas’ decorations her friends had bought both Mikey and Gerard for their very first Christmas. They were old now being fifteen and seventeen years old, but they still looked brand new if the small bumps and scratches were overlooked. They were both a pale cream colour with brown teddies embellishing them in Santa hats, candy canes and with a delicate red loop of ribbon to hold them in the branches. The only difference was the name and the date of birth written in red at the back of each.

Both of her sons complained when they were on the tree, facing the front so everyone could see them. Donna wasn’t sure whether they were embarrassed or just utterly sick of them, but they were going to stay there no matter what.

Other than that, the rest of the decorations were common ones with classic Christmas colours: red, green, gold and silver which complimented each other perfectly.

Donna had also bought deep red poinsettias in golden pots to dot around the house, bringing Christmas cheer to every room even if there weren’t any conventional decorations. Overall, she was happy with the outcome and hoped it lived up to everyone’s exacting standards.

She smiled, letting the pine scent fill the room and sat on the couch to watch an old festive film until everyone woke up.

***

Meanwhile, downstairs, Frank woke up with a jolt. He’d been dreaming about a Christmas with his parents and dreamed about being late for Mass which followed a beating by his dad.

He sat up quickly, his heart racing and desperately looked for a clock or phone to check the time. He couldn’t be late or not turn up to Mass. He just _couldn’t._ He stood up from the bed, ignoring the dizzy feeling in his head and searched for a phone. He walked around in the dark, picking up his jeans and shook them, hoping a phone would fall from a pocket. Luckily, one did. He unlocked it, and to his horror saw the time. It was just before nine in the morning and he was going to be late.

Frantically, he put on the jeans in his hand and threw on a semi clean shirt. It would have to do, he thought to himself as he ran his hands through his hair to try and tame the parts standing up on end.

Still in the dark, he made his way to the bedroom door, but he before he made it to the handle, he hit his foot painfully into a solid surface. With an automatic yelp of pain, he sank to the floor, tears welling up in his eyes and held the area of his foot which he’d just knocked.

A tired and confused groan came from the bed followed by the squeaking sound of some springs and someone looking down at him on the floor, pathetically hugging the three smallest toes on his left foot.

“What are you doing?” A voice – Gerard – said, groggily, sitting up in the bed and turning on the night on the bedside table.

The light blinded Frank for half a second and he had to squint to regain focus. And then he remembered. He wasn’t in his parents’ house, he was in Gerard’s. Although they went to a religious school, Gerard had once told him how he used to follow Catholicism closely because it was what he grandma wanted, until he realised he’d be lying to everyone, and more importantly himself, if he carried on praying to a God he didn’t believe in. The news went down okay with his family; they were all liberal with their beliefs and didn’t reject or kick Gerard out, which he feared the most.

Frank heard Gerard move from the bed and walk towards him. He bowed his head and refused to look at his boyfriend who was looking at him with concern. He didn’t want to see him still flushed with panic, which was slowly turning into pure embarrassment, and tear filled eyes.

He felt a single, gentle, finger run along his jaw line and reach his chin where Gerard pushed up a bit, making their eyes meet.

“What’s wrong?” Gerard asked, his eyes flooding with worry.

Frank tried to duck away from Gerard’s gaze, but Gerard brought his other hand to Frank’s face and cupped his face. He looked at him earnestly in the dim light, “What’s wrong?” he repeated. “Don’t say it’s nothing, Frank. Something’s wrong,” he added quickly, making sure he didn’t back away from the question.

“I h-had a bad dream,” Frank shrugged, “And I t-thought I was in my p-parents’ house and t-that I was late f-for Mass.” He decided to leave out the more violent parts, determined not to ruin Gerard’s Christmas with his stupid worries.

“You go to Mass? You should’ve said, we could have taken you,” Gerard said softly with a smile which was on the cusp of being sad.

Again, Frank shrugged. “J-just tradition. I don’t c-care for it, don’t worry.”

Gerard nodded and leaned in, giving Frank and quick kiss on the mouth and hugged him close. “Merry Christmas,” he whispered into the younger boy’s ear.

Frank gave Gerard a small smile, trying to hide the panicked feeling which was still sitting in his gut. He replied to his boyfriend with the same phrase and was lifted to his feet.

“C’mon, let’s go. It’s Christmas and I think Mikey would be up by now. If we don’t start to open presents soon, he may die.” Gerard laughed and dragged Frank towards the door.

***

As Gerard and predicted, Mikey was practically vibrating with excitement when he saw the two older boys reach the doorway of the living room. He grinned at them, and wordlessly pointed at the pile of wrapped objects under the tree. Donna gave a quick nod, implying that he could start looking for something for him and beckoned the others into the room.

The first thing that hit Frank was the smell of pine. In his house, they’d always had a fake tree, so there was no traditional scent. Secondly, it was the tree itself. It was huge and he didn’t expect it would fit in the room as well as it did. His looked up and down the tree and took in the lights which twinkled and how some of the baubles glowed when the sunlight streaming into the room from the sun, as well as the fairy lights hit them at a certain angle.

It was stunning.

Whilst he was admiring the tree, Donna must have walked over to the radio and put on a Christmas station because Christmas tunes filled the room, singing about snow, bells and reindeer.

Frank stood there, in front of the tree and felt overwhelmed with emotions. This was the Christmas he’d always dreamed of when he was younger. He was spending it with the people he loved, wasn’t being forced off to Mass and then left alone for hours on end, and everyone was happy and smiling, not shouting and yelling at him.

He felt a tug on his hand and looked at Gerard who was grinning widely at him. They walked towards the empty bit of floor between the tree and the couches and sat down, both crossed legged.

Mikey walked on his knees back from the heap of presents with a few in his hands. He sat down with his brother and Frank and passed them around. Without waiting for anyone or reading who it was from, he ripped into the paper to reveal some guitar picks in a see-through box. He threw the paper aside and opened the box, inspecting every pick to ‘make sure they were up to his standard’, he told everyone when they gave him weird looks for inspecting them so closely. Once Mikey confirmed that they were good enough for him, the other three gave him a fake round of applause, laughing at him.

Next, it was Gerard’s turn. He read the little gift tag and smiled at the message inside before carefully taking off the paper. His smile got even bigger when he saw that he was given the expensive set of pencils he had been hinting at for the best part of a year. He put it beside him and turned to look at Frank.

The package was similar to Mikey’s in size and shape, but was wrapped in a deep blue paper with white stars dotted on it. He turned it over in shaking hands in search of the little folded down parts which he could open without tearing the paper. He peeled off the sticky tape on both ends and let the box inside it slip out onto his palm. It was the same as Mikey’s – a set of basic guitar picks. He looked up at Donna with a confused expression. Donna smiled down at him and turned to Gerard, asking him to bring the bigger gifts to the centre of the room. Gerard agreed without question, and picked up every one individually.

There were three and they were spread out in front of Frank. Fully expecting to see Gerard’s, Mikey’s and Donna’s names written on the tags, he looked down and smiled politely. To his shock, and horror, he saw they were for Gerard, Mikey and _him_.

“Open them. Go on,” Gerard’s mom laughed, gesturing at the wrapped parcels in front of them.

Naturally, Mikey didn’t care for the message inside the tag and ripped it off. He started tearing away at the wrapping paper. When he uncovered the box beneath he let out a gasp. “No way,” he said, disbelievingly as he looked down at a brand new laptop and an assortment of games for it. “Thanks!” he said to his mom, running over to her and hugging her.

Donna waved him off and said something about how he’d been complaining about his other laptop, and that it was time for an upgrade anyway.

Knowing Mikey wanted to go upstairs to set up his new computer, Gerard quickly started to open the larger box in front of him. He already had a vague idea what it could have been, but it didn’t stop the excitement rise in his chest. When the box was finally out of the paper, he turned it over to see what it was. Much like Mikey, he gasped. His mom had bought him an electronic drawing pad, one which linked up to a computer to make drawing thousands of times easier. He beamed up at his mom, showing his gratitude. He probably couldn’t thank her enough.

Gerard clapped his hands together and looked expectantly at Frank. “Your turn,” he said, still with a big smile plastered across his face.

Frank smiled and nodded. His hands had started to shake even more as he reached for the rectangular box in front of him. It was impossible to guess what was inside it, but it was fairly heavy. He took a deep breath, trying to calm the cocktail of nerves and excitement pumping through his veins.

He rapidly removed the paper and felt his heart stop when he saw the shape of the box he instantly recognized from spending hours looking in music stores. They bought him an acoustic guitar.

He stared at it, not believing what he saw. He looked from Gerard to Mikey and to Donna, completely speechless. He opened his mouth a few times, but couldn’t form any words. All he could do was sit and look at it.

“Do you like it?” Gerard asked shuffling closer to him so their legs touched.

Frank couldn’t speak, he just nodded incredulously and waved his arms to true and indicate how thankful he was.

“I’m taking that as a yes, then?” he laughed at Frank’s excitement and places a discreet kiss in his hair.

Donna stood up from the sofa an announced that she was going to start preparing food for them all as it would take a while. She also mentioned that some of their family from other parts of the country would be coming up to visit them later in the day, and asked them to be dressed nicely for them. All three boys agreed with a nod of their heads before they picked up their respective gifts and half ran half walked to their rooms.

***

Before Frank had time to close the door, Gerard had already rushed to his laptop and was waiting for it to load up, tapping his fingers on the desk top impatiently and muttering under his breath about how slow it could be when he needed it. While he waited, he reached down to the drawing pad on the floor and took it out of the box, very, very gently. He made space for it by pushing off pens and papers from the desk, leaving them on the floor and putting his new gift in their place.

Once it had finally loaded up, he typed in his password and started to fiddle with the wires to connect his gift to his laptop. Frank, who was still standing in the doorway, looked on with an amused expression as Gerard huffed in annoyance when the cords didn’t come apart.

He walked over to the bed and placed his guitar down. When he was sure there was no possible way it could fall off the bed, he made his way over to Gerard and took the wires from his hands. Within seconds, the seemingly impossible knot of cables came undone.

“I loosened them for you.” Gerard said lamely, but Frank just rolled his eyes and handed it back to him. Gerard smiled gratefully up at Frank and plugged it into his laptop. Immediately, another window opened showing the various options and step-by-step set ups that Gerard could do if he wanted. He clicked the ‘How to Use’ option and quickly read through the text about how you could do different styles, effects, et cetera.

Frank shook his head and smiled at the pure joy Gerard was having flicking through the different kinds of styles he could do on the drawing pad. He laughed when the older boy tried to suppress a joyous yelp when he put the pen designed with the pad onto it, seeing his rough scribbles turn up on the computer screen as if he was drawing it on a piece of paper.

He walked back to the bed, leaving Gerard to play around with his present and trusting that he wouldn’t notice if Frank left him alone for an hour or so. He picked up his guitar and made his way towards the bedroom door. He knew Mikey played the guitar and bass, and they’d both got the same picks for Christmas. He decided that Christmas was for family, and he hadn’t been spending any time with Mikey recently – or at all – and went find him.

***

Stupidly, Frank thought it would be difficult to find Gerard’s brother as he always managed to slip out of the house without anyone noticing. However, he had just received a new laptop, so Frank presumed that he would be hunched over it in his room.

Frank knocked on his bedroom door a few times and waited for a reply – his mother always demanded on him being the politest person he could be towards anyone, whether they were close or not. From the room he heard a mumble which Frank hoped was a reply. He pushed the door open a few inches and looked inside.

The room was a lot different to Gerard’s. For starters, it was on the second floor and not the basement. There were two large windows with dark blue curtains either side, letting the late morning sun flood into it, keeping the room well lit. Secondly, it was smaller, just a conventional square single room. Mikey’s bed was pushed to the furthest poster covered wall, with a desk and chair put up against the bottom of the bed frame. The walls which weren’t plastered in various posters of rock bands and horror movies were painted black, making it seem darker than it should have been.

As predicted, Mikey was sitting on the floor with his laptop resting on his crossed legs. He was looking down at his laptop, concentrating, as he flicked through the instruction manual and pressing the mouse after he finished reading a section.

Without looking up, Mikey snapped, “What?”

Taken aback by the slight hostility in his voice, Frank stuttered for a few seconds until he managed to say “Hi” and take another step into the room, his guitar behind his back.

Upon hearing Frank’s voice, Mikey looked up and smiled at him. He moved over and made space for the other boy to sit by him. “Sorry,” he apologised to Frank. “Getting this set up is taking a while.” He went back to reading little parts from the instruction book next to him and pressing the correct keys and pop-ups until he laughed triumphantly, putting the laptop next to him.

Frank giggled at the fifteen year old’s happiness at the fact that he’d managed to figure out how to set up his computer without any help. It was sweet, Frank thought to himself but didn’t dare to stay it out loud as they had barely spend any time together before.

“How’s your Christmas going so far?” Mikey asked, turning towards Frank with a grin.

“It r-really good,” he answered honestly and sat down next to Gerard’s younger brother. He placed the guitar down next to him and looked at it fondly. “I love the g-guitar. W-who – where did y-your mom find i-it?”

Mikey shrugged, which was the usual reply for someone of his age. “Maybe where she got mine before? I’m not sure. I didn’t know you played, though. When did you learn?”

Frank quickly went over the back story about how, when he was younger, his father always encouraged him to play an instrument as he used to play the drums in this youth. He told Mikey about his farfetched dreams of being in a punk band, touring the country in a small van and being squashed up with your band mates as you drove from small venue to small venue. He laughed a little when he thought about it more. It was so unrealistic. No wonder his parents completely disregarded it as an option when he brought it up to them. It was a nice dream, though. He thought about it a lot and how he would escape from his prison-like house and join a band – much like people dream about running away with the circus.

Throughout his story, Mikey nodded and made agreeing sounds at appropriate times. He also mentioned how it was a dream of his to be in a band and being a world-famous bass player. He told Frank about how he went to a concert of a local Jersey band and how the singer told the crowd about how his parents didn’t believe in him, and how he finally achieved it to some extent. While telling Frank, he cringed a bit, realising how cheesy the lead singer sounded to everyone but Mikey.

They talked for a while longer, discussing music and bands they had seen live. Frank confessed to Mikey that he’d never seen anyone live, not even new bands. Mikey looked horrified for a split second, and promised him that if anyone came near them when they were all free, they would go together. Frank agreed, enthusiastically, a grin already spreading across his face.

Before they knew it, Donna was calling them from the kitchen, announcing that their lunch was now ready.

Frank stood up and remembered that Christmas seemed to centre on meat, he paled. Although he didn’t have a problem with others eating meat when it was cut up into little chunks, he didn’t want to see a dead animal in front of him with the legs still attached, and still looking like something that once lived. He felt his stomach tighten at the thought of seeing it. He swallowed, pushing the bile back down his throat.

Mikey looked at him from the corner of his eye and looked questioningly at him. Not wanting to be selfish or ruin the Way’s Christmas, he shook his head, ensuring him that he was fine and not to worry. Mikey nodded, not believing a word he said, but opened the door for him and they made their way downstairs to the kitchen.

***

When they got closer to the kitchen, the sound of people laughing and talking became louder and louder. Frank looked at Mikey, confused. Mikey didn’t say anything, but nodded towards the kitchen. They walked around the corner and were met by a crowd of people all standing around, drinks in their hands.

Frank breath was stuck in his throat as the mild panic sank in. It was packed full of people he’d never seen before. People stood close together, deep in conversation. Donna had mentioned people were going to come over, but she didn’t mention a number. Frank guessed it was only a handful of people, maybe ten at the most, but the longer he peered into the room, the number of people seemed to increase. He tried to count them and managed to reach the mid-teens before people moved and ruined it.

“Are you okay?” Mikey whispered. Frank nodded weakly and started to twist the hem of his shirt anxiously. Mikey didn’t bother asking again and pushed Frank into the kitchen.

Donna looked up when she heard Mikey call for her. She smiled warmly and brought the attention to both of them. “This is Frank,” she said, smiling at him. The rest of the people greeted him and others waved before going back to their previous conversations. It didn’t make him feel any more comfortable.

Mikey sensed how uncomfortable Frank was becoming and walked to his mom. He whispered something into her ear, and she nodded with a quick glance at Frank. As quickly as he went, Mikey came back and stood next to Frank. “You can go downstairs with Gerard if you want. He isn’t a fan of crowds either. My mom said it was okay,” he said, smiling kindly.

Frank stayed quiet but gave Mikey a thankful smile and hastily made his way out of the packed room.

***

“Don’t like crowds either?” Gerard asked from his desk, turning around once Frank had entered the room.

Frank shook his head and slowly walked to the bed and buried himself under the covers with a sad groan in an attempt to try and calm himself down and figure out a way to spend some time with Gerard’s family and friends without any problems.

Gerard let out and airy laugh and sat at the bottom of his bed. “I get it. Mom always invites everyone over and it can get too much,” he said, kindly. “What to talk about it?”

Frank made a sound of protest and sighed heavily as he took the covers from his head and faced Gerard. He saw the distressed look on Frank’s face and brought him into a close hug, not wanting his first proper Christmas in years to be a sad one. He hummed a soothing tune and waited until he could feel Frank’s heart beat to return to normal.

They sat in silence while Gerard cradled his boyfriend in his arms, waiting for Frank to break the quiet first.

Frank nuzzled into the older boy’s neck and sighed. It was probably the time Donna was waiting for them both now. He sat up and pulled away from Gerard’s embrace. “L-let’s go,” he managed to say as confidently as he could.

***

This time the people in the kitchen/dining room were all squashed around the large table which had been pulled out into the middle of the room with un-matching chairs circling it. They were still all laughing and joking – properly on the verge of being drunk – but this time everyone had plates in their hands, waiting for Donna to announce that they could take a seat.

Gerard’s mom pushed her way through the throng of people to reach Frank and Gerard. She smiled and greeted them both, which they both responded with small smiles.

Donna looked behind her at the large turkey on the work surface and looked back at Frank. “Don’t worry, I made you something vegetarian,” she reassured him. Frank nodded and gave her another smile. Before he could reply, a short woman in her late fifties with short grey hair pushed her way towards them and dragged Gerard into a tight hug.

“Gerard,” she said loudly, “I haven’t seen you in so long. You’ve grown!”

Gerard tried to pull away from the hug but the woman just held him tighter. “Hi, Aunt Tara. How are you?” he managed to say as politely as possible.

The woman – Gerard’s aunt – let go of him and allowed him to stand back with Frank who had started to back away from the new person.

“I’m great. It’s been a long year with your cousin going into hospital, but at least he’s better and can join us for Christmas,” she beamed. “And oh, you must be Frank? Donna has told me a lot about you,” she said and pulled Frank into another bone crushing hug. Frank yelped at the sudden contact and felt his heart rate start to increase for the second time in under an hour.

Donna noticed Frank’s expression and called her sister over to help divide the food into the serving platters. With one last goodbye she went towards the kitchen.

“Sorry,” Gerard apologised, sliding his hand into Frank’s. Wordlessly, they walked into the living room. The adults were sat on the sofas and chairs and the handful of children were sitting on the floor, watching a Disney Christmas film or running around in circles. Gerard dodged one of his cousins who was happily chasing after another child and guided Frank to the empty space in the middle of the floor.

Smiling graciously and responding to greetings from various family members and his mom’s friends, they sat down with a small relieved sigh. Christmas was great and Gerard loved the atmosphere which came with it, but sometimes his mom overestimated the amount of space they had in their house, and invited long lost friends and family over. Their house was always overwhelmed with people every year, and nothing was going to change soon.

“You k-know so many p-people,” Frank spoke softly to Gerard; his eyes widening as more people entered the already packed room.

Gerard laughed gently and shook his head. “I don’t know most of these people; they’re all my mom’s friends from work. And with my family here, I haven’t see most of them since I was around six or seven,” he looked at the people who were sat around them and successfully ignoring their existence. “Once we’ve eaten we can go downstairs and watch some movies?” he suggested rather hopefully.

Trying to hide his sigh of relief, Frank agreed.

Soon after, the mass of people in the living room started to stand up. Some wobbled slightly due to the excess of mulled wine and eggnog, indicating that the meal was about to start.

Frank gulped, not wanting to be in a room full of people he didn’t know. However, he had no choice. He didn’t want to ruin other peoples’ Christmas and this was part of his ‘ideal’ Christmas scenario, sort of. He had to go through with it.

***

The meal started pretty calmly. Everyone brought their food to the over packed table and squashed together. No one questioned Frank why he didn’t eat meat like the rest; they were too preoccupied with catching up with the people around the table.

To Frank’s surprise, his meat-equivalent wasn’t bland or boring like he remembered from all his previous Christmas. Usually, he just found himself a vegetarian ready-meal and stuck it into the microwave for a few minutes. This one was different. Donna put an effort in and went out of her way to make him something. He smiled to himself, feeling an overwhelming sense of being wanted and loved.

Small talk and questions bounced around the table, with the occasional one being directed at Frank. They asked about school and how he was finding it, about the people there and whether he was having a nice time away from the dorms. Frank answered them with the correct response, always remembering to be respectful and ask the small questions back to them.

Luckily, no one asked about his family or why he was with Donna and not with his parents. Maybe someone had mentioned what not to ask him, Frank wasn’t sure, but he certainly wasn’t complaining.

Once they’d all finished the first course, most of the people stood up and made their way outside. Apparently Donna had set up some Christmas game out there, but Mikey, Frank or Gerard was interested. Donna rolled her eyes at them, overdramatically. She didn’t bother asking them to stay with the family, it would be useless. Instead, she allowed them to make their way to different part of the house – Mikey went to his room, whereas Gerard and Frank went straight down to the basement, ignoring the comments about how they were always down there and would get a Vitamin D deficiency if they weren’t careful.

Both giggled at Donna’s concern as they continued to walk down the steps.

***

Gerard pulled out of box of old VHS tapes from under his bed and smiled at them. He looked through them and picked up a few of the rectangular boxes. He wiped off the dust and opened one up. The tape inside was still usable. He didn’t bother looking at what it was called and walked on his knees to the TV. Luckily, when his mom was sorting out their house and getting rid of the boxes of unused electronic gadgets from the mid-1990s. Gerard begged her not to throw it out as he still had videos. With a sigh, Donna agreed and gave it to him.

He put the video into the ancient VHS player and waited for the whirring sound to come. Soon enough, the familiar noise of the tape starting to rewind kicked in and Gerard shuffled back towards the blankets they’d pull onto the floor previously.

As soon as the title page of the film – _Home Alone_ – came up on the screen, Frank walked out of the bathroom. He’d changed into more festive pyjamas with little snowflakes on the trousers and not bothering with the plain white top that came with it.

Gerard wasn’t going to complain.

Frank sat down next to him and wrapped himself in the blankets, resting his head on Gerard’s shoulder. Gerard placed small kissing in Frank’s hair and around his jaw, making the younger boy sigh happily.

“What a-are we watching?” he asked, turning a bit to look at Gerard.

“Home Alone,” Gerard replied while pressed play on the remote control and snuggling down next to Frank for the next couple of hours. He couldn’t think of a better way to spend the day.

***

The night quickly rolled in and before either Frank or Gerard knew it, Donna was calling for them from upstairs to bid farewell to their family and friends.

Groaning slightly, Gerard stood up and stretched. He looked at the door and asked if Frank wanted to come. He shook his head, seeing no point as none of them really knew about him. Agreeing, Gerard padded out of the room and jogged up the stairs.

He was greeted with groups of people wobbling to the front door and to taxis that Donna had called for the respective couples, knowing that they were all over the limit.

Gerard stood at the top of the staircase, smiling meekly at his family and giving his younger cousins brief hugs and the generic ‘merry Christmas’ message and wished them a happy New Year. He watched his aunt Tara stumbled towards him and pressing a sloppy kiss on his cheek. Gerard inwardly cringed.

“Merry Christmas,” she slurred with a small drunken giggle.

“Merry Christmas,” Gerard echoed, keeping the smile on his face for as long as possible. She was the last person to leave; meaning he only had to suffer for a few more minutes.

She started to talk – slur – to Gerard about how much he’d grown and started on some story about when he was younger. Luckily, Donna was getting sick of her old sister’s ramblings and gently pushed her towards the door, saying that the driver was waiting, which wasn’t an entire lie.

What felt like hours later, it was just the four of them in the house. The celebrations where done and the loud laughing and cheering was replaced by a comfortable silence.

Rubbing her eyes, Donna sighed. She looked back into the kitchen and looked sadly at the dishes and glasses dotted over the tables, floor and even a few on the chairs. She looked back at Gerard and let out a resigned laugh. “I’ll do it later. Besides, it is Christmas.”

Gerard agreed. It could be left until tomorrow, they didn’t really need to use the kitchen as they could eat the leftover food – his mom always made too much; it was a tradition.

He turned towards the stairs but his mom placed a hand on his shoulder and stopped him in his tracks. “Bring Frank up here. We could watch films together, Mikey included.” Gerard smiled and hugged his mom, agreeing that it was a good idea.

***

Frank seemed overjoyed with the suggestion. He slid on the top for his pyjamas and rushed around the room, grabbing handfuls of blankets and holding the pillows between his teeth to bring upstairs with him.

Together the pulled up the duvets and dumped them on the living floor, recreating the nest-like area they made in their room. It wasn’t long until Mikey emerged from his room, blankets in hand, and joined the other two making a comfortable area for them to sit.

Gerard’s and Mikey’s mom walked in from the kitchen in her old dressing gown, holding a bowl of snacks and did a double take at the three boys who had appeared to bring every blanket in the house into the living room. She shook her head in disbelief, but didn’t say anything. She walked around the mass of fabric, making sure she avoided standing on anyone’s legs; she made herself comfortable on the sofa and placed the bowl on the floor next to the others.

“Any suggestions?” she asked, popping a Christmas themed candy into her mouth and chewed it slowly.

No one replied for a while until Frank spoke up, “W-what about _Scrooge_?” and everyone hummed in agreement.

Donna quickly found the film they wanted as most of the films were on demand at this time.

“Oh, lights,” Mikey said, jumping up from the floor and switching the main light off and plunged the whole room into a cosy darkness with only the flickering tree lights illumining their faces.

Frank cuddled up to Gerard when the lights went off, trusting the darkness would hide them enough that Donna wouldn’t question them right away.

Mikey slid down next to Gerard and made himself comfortable as he moved around the cushions so they supported his back.

“Ready?” Donna asked. When they all replied, she pressed play and the Christmas music filled the room.

Although some parts of the day had been problematic, for a lack of a better word, it definitely improved as the day went on.

The day was unquestionably better than any of his Christmases he could remember, and that was for sure.

He wasn’t forced off to Mass and pray to a God he didn’t believe in, he wasn’t left alone or made to feel worthless. He was with people he loved and who loved him back. They made an effort and Donna bought him _his own guitar_ and even prepared him an entirely different meal to meet his diet, without complaining or trying to convince him otherwise. And finally, they were all watching a Christmas film as a family – just like Frank’s picture perfect Christmas he imagined for years. It had come true.

He smiled to himself and wrapped an arm around Gerard’s waist, holding him close. He could get used to this.


	29. Chapter 29

After the busyness of Christmas Day, the remaining part of the holiday went by like a breeze. Frank spent most of his time with Mikey, going over chords and different techniques to achieve the particular sounds he wanted. Naturally, this consisted of the youngest Way brother and him being behind closed doors for hours on end, and Frank telling them that he was only allowing Mikey to listen to him play, claiming that he wasn’t good enough yet.

Donna didn’t mind. Although she accepted their relationship, she wasn’t entirely comfortable with it, as the thought that Frank was only latching onto Gerard (and using him) after years of being neglected was still in the back of her mind. But whenever Gerard expressed his dissatisfaction with Frank not spending enough time with them, she just waved him off. She told him how it was nice that Frank was expanding his friendship group to more than two people, and that if the court case was successful, they’d be living together until they Frank left for college, meaning that it was better that they got along than not. Gerard couldn’t complain, he knew his mother was right, and couldn’t deny the warming sensation he felt when he saw his boyfriend come out of his younger brother’s room with a huge grin on his face after – what everyone presumed – was another successful practice.

Gerard tried to ask Frank to play to him one day, but was met by a silent shake of the head and a muttering of ‘maybe one day’, like he’d heard so many times before. He didn’t push it though, knowing that if he did, ‘one day’ would never happen.

He just had to wait.

However, all the Frank-less time did have one advantage: it gave both Donna and Gerard time to look through piles of legal documents. Their lawyer had mentioned that there would be some forms to fill out, but failed to mention the rest. Both of them spent an hour or so, reading through the paragraphs of text with endless use of legal jargon and terminology, which Gerard had to Google a few times, and signed the papers. There were a lot of them, but it wasn’t every one. The more important ones were with Mr. Roberts, locked away in one of his filing cabinets. He told them that they were the final ones – the ones giving Donna legal guardianship over Frank until he left home.

The papers in front of them stated the rules and regulations of taking a child into care, and how someone from Social Services would visit them on random times throughout the year to do check-ups, and to ensure that Frank was being cared for in the best possible way. Donna thought they were a waste of time, as anyone could clearly see that her own sons were being cared for. Why would it be any different for Frank? As much as she complained about it, there was no way around them or loophole. They all needed to be read through thoroughly and signed accordingly.

Donna rested her chin on the palm of her hand and flicked through yet another document. They seemed to be never-ending, but Gerard made it easier by skim reading over them and giving his mom a summary of it. They mainly sat in silence while doing this, with the occasional sigh breaking the atmosphere. But this time, it was different. The sound of guitar playing reached their ears. It seemed almost perfect with rarely any slipups. At first, Gerard thought it was Mikey, but when he heard the unmistakable sound of his brother joining in, he smiled.

“They sound good,” Donna said, a proud smile appearing on her face. Gerard nodded, continued to listen and tried to work out what they were playing. Donna stopped leafing through the pages and turned a corner down to mark her place. She looked up at Gerard, who was still smiling, and asked him if Frank had ever mentioned what he wanted to do in college as that time was approaching.

“I heard he wanted to study English at Rutgers,” he said with a shrug.

Donna nodded, approving of his choice. “He’ll get in. He’s a smart kid. Are you still set on doing art at SVA? Are you sure that’s the-”

“The right course for me?” Gerard said, mocking her tone and rolling his eyes to add more emphasis on how many times his mother had questioned him. “It is. Art is the only thing I’m really good at – good enough to do for a living. You know that. I’ve been set on it for years now.”

Donna sighed. “I know but it just... doesn’t seem that reliable. And living in New York City will cost a lot. Are you sure you have the money for this?”

“Stop worrying, Mom. I’ll be fine,” he said in a reassuring voice, adding a smile to help convince her.

“You’re so stubborn. Once you have your mind set on something, nothing will stop you achieving it.”

“I only learn from the best,” he said, laughing at his mother’s overly shocked gasp.

“Go,” she said, between a laugh. “Get your homework done. You’ll be getting back to school soon, and I know how the teachers there can be about late homework.”

Gerard made an annoyed sound, but obeyed. He scrapped the legs of the chair along to linoleum floor and slowly walked to his room, taking in the last few seconds of Frank’s playing.

***

Gerard had always done his homework with someone, whether it was Mikey or Frank, but recently both of them were too preoccupied with the endless guitar sessions to come down and join him. This meant that he had to sit at his desk, alone, and try to concentrate hard enough to finish the Algebra questions they were set for the time off.

Usually, they’d help each other out. Frank would help him, sighing with mock annoyance as Gerard got even the most basic questions wrong, and correcting him quickly while writing down how he figured it out. And Gerard would happily sketch him something for his art book, making sure it looked more like a style Frank would aim for, other than his more comic book style of drawing which Gerard did. The Sisters were pleased with Gerard’s progress and over the moon with Frank’s achievements in art, and even offered him a few places to show of ‘his’ art in the little galleries they had around the school. He declined politely, of course.

But it worked like that; they were a team.

He shrugged it off, presuming that once the excitement of his new present was over with, he’d come back to Gerard and things would be back to normal again. He hoped.

With a heavy sigh, he opened his textbook to the pages of questions he was meant to answer. Math in general didn’t any many sense to him, but the mere thought of algebra made his head hurt. And without Frank next to him, whispering the answers, it was going to be impossible.

“Fan- _fucking_ -tastic,” he grumbled bitterly to himself and started to write the first question down.

***

Pinpointing the exact time he fell asleep wasn’t going to be possible, but the next thing Gerard knew was that it had suddenly become extremely cold in his room.

He groaned, rubbing his eyes to help them get used to the orange glow coming from his desk light. He rolled his shoulders, making the joints click back into place after sleeping so awkwardly on them, and looked down at his crumbled homework. Gerard tried to smooth it out by flattening the worst affected areas with the palm of his hand, but the creases returned to how they were before, as if he hadn’t tried to get rid of them. He quickly realised that his attempts were futile, and that he’d have to redo the work. He’d never felt to happy that he had only managed to complete two questions before passing out on top of it.

He pushed some of the papers off his desk and blindly started to pat around for his phone. He knew it couldn’t have been too late, as he had only started his work in the late afternoon and his was still the only person in the room. But he expected that, knowing full well that Frank was still upstairs with Mikey, messing around with different punk songs.

Eventually, he found his cell and pressed the power button. Light filled the room, making Gerard squint until he could dim the brightness and check the time. Gazing down at the time, he was relieved to see it wasn’t ridiculously late – it had only turned 9PM.

Annoyed with himself that he allowed himself to sleep, he stood up quickly. The sudden movement made his head spin and he staggered backwards, just catching himself on the chest of drawers beside him. He was going to get into bed and trust that Frank would eventually join him, when he stomach let out a loud grumble – catching him by surprise.

“Ugh,” Gerard huffed, kicking random items of clothing to the side and made his way towards the door. Just as he was about to open the door, someone else pushed it from the outside, swinging it open. He stepped back sleepily and looked at the other person.

Frank looked back at him, clutching a tray which was piled with plates and an extremely guilty expression. Gerard stepped back from the door and nodded slowly, trying not to show how confused he was.

“What?” he asked sleepily, running his hands through his messy hair.

Frank walked in, closed the door behind himself and gave Gerard a weak, guilty smile. He set the tray down on top of Gerard’s Math homework and stood there, looking at his feet glumly whilst playing with the hem of his shirt.

Gerard opened his mouth to ask what was wrong, but Frank beat him to it. “I’m sorry. S-so sorry,” he cried, and walked towards Gerard until they were standing close enough that they could feel one another’s breath on their faces. Instinctively, Gerard wrapped his arms around Frank’s middle and held him close, allowing him to try and explain himself through shaky breaths.

Still holding him close, Gerard started to rub small circles in Frank’s back and telling him to breathe until, and shushing him until composed himself to stutter out a few more words. “S-sorry, sorry, sorry,” the younger boy chanted, between small hiccups.

“Come on, Frankie. What’s wrong? Tell me,” he begged, guiding Frank towards the bed as the extra weight started to make Gerard’s legs ache. “Sit.” Frank slumped onto the bed and instantly covered his face with his hand. Gerard continued to ask what had come over him, but Frank stayed quiet, blanking Gerard’s questions.

While no-one was speaking, Gerard had time to mull over some possible reasons why Frank come into their room and started to cry his eyes out within seconds. By now, Gerard was more than used to his random crying spells, and usually found out what had caused them within a couple of minutes. But this time was different. Frank had completely shut him out and refused to talk, in vain of Gerard’s best coaxing techniques. Nothing seemed to work. No amount of begging or speaking in soft tones made Frank’s fess up to what was wrong; Gerard was still groggy from his unexpected nap and going to lose his patience at any minute.

He sighed heavily and sat down with Frank. He reached over and took his boyfriend’s hands in his own and gently removed them from his eyes, making them look at one another. Frank’s eyes were red, puffy and tearstained which made any former resentment instantly leave Gerard’s mind.

“What’s up?” he asked, again, lacing their fingers together.

Frank shook his head and murmured something incomprehensible, but Gerard pressed him for answers until he snapped. “I t-talked to your m-mom,” he said and looked down at their linked hands. “She s-said that you w-were feeling r-rejected because I w-was spending more time with y-your brother,” he sadly shrugged and finally looked up at Gerard with an equally sad smile. “Sorry.”

No expecting that answer, Gerard stayed silent for a while longer. He squeezed Frank’s fingers a little. He rolled his eyes and let out a weak laugh. “Yeah, but that doesn’t really explain why you came in crying like that. There’s something else. There has to be.”

Frank shifted awkwardly and pressed himself closer to Gerard. “It’s n-nothing. Besides, it’s s-stupid,” he whispered.

“Whatever it is, it isn’t stupid,” Gerard replied, adamantly.

Frank pushed his face into the crook of Gerard’s neck. “I thought – I thought y-you were going to d-dump me,” he said quickly, stumbling over his words.

Gerard winched and squeezed his fingers even tighter. “I told y-you it was s-stupid,” Frank whispered, his voice breaking mid-sentence.

“That’s not – I wouldn’t, Frank. Don’t think that. Ever,” he reassured him.

“F-fine, sure. W-whatever. Oh, a-and Gerard?”

“What?”

Frank laughed awkwardly. “You’re, uh, b-blocking the blood s-supply to my fingers.”

“Oh. _Oh_ , sorry,” Gerard rushed, loosening his grip on Frank and blushed. “Sorry.”

“’S fine,” he laughed and wriggled his fingers to get the circulation back into them.  “A-and remember to eat. T-the food is probably c-cold now,” Frank sighed, nodding towards the tray he left on Gerard’s desk.

Mumbling some form of reply, Gerard moved himself from the bed and made his way over to the tray. As Frank suggested, the food was cold, but he couldn’t care less. The second the smell of the pasta his mom made hit is nose, his stomach responded by producing a loud rumble. Frank, who must’ve heard it too, giggled to himself as he wiped away the tears from his eyes.

Frank moved up the bed, so his back was against the headboard and watched Gerard slalom between piles of dirty clothes and school books, making sure that he didn’t trip and drop the tray which he was tightly holding in his hands.

When he made it to the bed, he sat on the edge and put the tray to the side. He lifted up his legs and sat cross-legged. Once he was comfortable, he placed the tray on his lap and started to eat the lukewarm meal in front of him. A few minutes passed in comfortable silence while he ate. Frank just sat at the head of the bed, picking at his thumb nails and humming to himself softly.

“D-do... do you know w-when our lawyer will t-tell Donna w-what’s happening with the case?” Frank asked, breaking the silence.

Gerard shrugged and made an unsure noise while he finished his last mouthful of food. “Not too sure. They haven’t phone, emailed or sent a letter. But I guess it can’t be too long, right? It’s been a while. We’ll get conformation about it soon.”

“Will m-my parents go to prison?” he asked bluntly, without a single shake in his voice, and curled up at the top of the bed.

Gerard thought about the question while fiddling with his fork. “Not too sure,” he repeated, not wanting to upset Frank or make him cry again. And, if he was honest, he wasn’t too sure, the details were still blurry.

 Frank nodded and yawned. “’m sleepy,” he said, sounding ever so slightly like a five year-old child.

“Sleep then,” Gerard laughed while standing up to put the plates on the floor and rummaging through the pile of ‘clean’ clothes to find a pair of pyjamas for them each. “It’s probably late, anyway.” Gerard threw the pair of loose trousers and a top at Frank from the other side of the room, gaining a sleepy groan from the other boy. “Go and change.”

Grumbling to himself, Frank slid off the bed and walked straight through the pile of books and clothes on the floor, despite Gerard’s effortless attempts to make him go around them, and locked himself in the adjacent bathroom.

While he was out of the room, Gerard threw on his pyjamas and started to clear up some of the mess. He kicked the clothes under the bed, promising to himself that he’d sort them out one day, and stacked the books and other school equipment around his desk. His room wasn’t ever going to be tidy or one of those rooms’ people spent hours looking at online, but it was his and it felt comfortable.

Frank emerged from the bathroom and immediately dumped his clothes on the room, ruining Gerard’s attempts at keeping the room tidy. Sighing to himself, Gerard walked to the bed and shuffled under the covers before Frank could reach his favourite side – the side nearest the wall. He bunched the covers up around his chin and looked up at Frank who was combing his hair with his fingers and in turn, making it messier.

“Move,” he commanded, smiling a little down at Gerard. He quickly obeyed, making room for Frank to lie down next to him on the single bed. As always, it was a tight fit. “H-have you ever considered b-bringing to t-two bed together?” Frank asked into the darkness.

“Hm, maybe we should do that,” Gerard replied and rested the side of his head in the small dip of Frank’s collarbones. “It would make it less cramped, so there’s a smaller chance of us falling off or something.”

“Yeah...” Frank responded, drowsily, and placed an arm over the other boy’s middle. “It’s c-cosy, though.”

Gerard laughed and agreed with him. “We’ll see what it’s like tomorrow, only if you move your clothes from the floor.”

“You s-sound like a parent,” Frank commented, resting his cheek on the crown of Gerard’s head.

“Shut up,” the old boy laughed. “You love it really.”

Frank didn’t respond, but placed a few light kisses on the top of his boyfriend’s head and around his ear, making the other boy sigh and shiver, which was quickly followed by a yawn. “Sleep,” Frank murmured, pulling the arrangement of blankets around them, and awkwardly positioned himself so Gerard’s head was still resting on him, but his leg was securely placed around Gerard’s to hold him close.

Gerard groaned. “And you said _I_ was the one who sounded like a parent? Whatever.”

“Hush. I l-love you.”

“Love you, too,” Gerard answered. Even though it was pitch black, Frank heard the smile on his voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had writers block for the last week, but I forced this chapter out because it's been a while. Sorry it's rather short and kind of boring.
> 
> \----
> 
> Other important news: marriage equality in all 50 states happened today. Well done, America. You did something good!


	30. Chapter 30

The time between Christmas and New Years always went too quickly, in Gerard’s opinion. Before they knew it, all the stores were stacked full of fireworks and cheap party food for the second phase of celebrations that were about to take place. Donna had been in and out of the house, stocking up on sparklers and party hats – basically, everything that made Gerard cringe a little, but made Frank grin like an idiot each time he saw Donna adding to the collection of cliché party items.

After Gerard’s mom bought most of the things needed for the night of celebrations, she started to list down that to buy for them all to eat. She hadn’t invited anyone else over, telling them that seeing the extended family once a year way more than enough. Neither Gerard nor Frank could agree enough. Usually, Donna would just go out and buy the biggest bag on mini party snacks, but this time she had to make an exception for Frank and find something meat-free which wasn’t just a plate full of vegetables. Every time Donna asked what he wanted, Frank blushed and told her not to bother and that it didn’t matter. Each time Frank tried to dissuade her, she laughed it off, and said, “You’re part of this family. Deal with it,” and then dropped the subject quickly.

As well as Donna spending less time in the house, there was a clear absence of Mikey too, because he was always switching between his house and Kristin’s house. This pretty much forced Frank into spending more time with Gerard again. Although he hated to admit it, and cave into his selfishness, he was glad of it. Even though Frank was happy playing the guitar for hours on end with the youngest Way brother, Gerard had started to become jealous because Frank adamantly refused to play for anyone else. But they didn’t mention it anymore. Everything was back to normal.

It was late afternoon and Frank was curled up on Gerard’s bed, completely ignoring the homework in front of him.

“You have to do it,” Gerard sighed. He felt like a broken record repeating the same phrase over and over again, but nothing he said convinced Frank to move from the bed and finish the English essay the Sisters had set them. Knowing the consequences which came with not finishing a task, Gerard tried to persuade him, knowing that Frank probably wouldn’t be able to cope with some of the punishments they gave back in school.

Gerard stood up from his sitting position on the floor, and walked towards the bed. He poked Frank’s side gently and pushed the paper closer to him, in a lame attempt to make him start anything. He looked down at the paper. It was completely blank, of course.

“Frank,” Gerard groaned. “You haven’t started yet. Come on. Why haven’t you done anything yet? We’ve been down here for hours now.”

“D-don’t want to,” he replied simply with a shrug, and brought his knees to his chest. Gerard rolled his eyes and huffed. Sometimes Frank acted like a petulant child, Gerard thought to himself.

Gerard was going to argue back, but Donna called from the kitchen, asking them to help carry plates into the other room.

“You’re lucky,” Gerard laughed, reaching over and rolling Frank over so he had no choice to stand up or fall onto the floor below.

Frank let out a triumphant laugh and jumped to his feet. He jogged towards the door, stepping over the mess of books, pens and pieces of loose paper dotted around the room. Turning around to face Gerard, he grinned at him and disappeared behind the door.

***

“Can you bring these into the other room?” Donna asked as she walked around the corner. Before Frank could reply, he was being handed a bowl of snack. With a courteous smile, he took them and followed her into the opposite room.

He put the bowl down where Donna pointed to and stepped back to take in the feast in front of them, his eyes widening a bit. Donna noticed and laughed. “We go all-out, as you can see.” Frank nodded, still in slight awe.

“T-there’s only going t-to be us here, r-right?” Frank asked, suddenly coming to the realisation that more people could be joining them, making it almost like a second Christmas.

“Oh no, it’s just going to be us; Mikey, Gerard me and you,” she confirmed with a smile. “We probably don’t need all of this, but its better safe than sorry. Besides, we’re going to be up until we see in the New Year, at least.” Frank nodded. “Go and get Gerard, we need more help. God knows where Mikey went this time...” And with a huff, she walked off into the other room in search of Mikey.

Frank thought it was an opportune moment to make his way towards the stairs which lead down to the basement. He silently hoped that Gerard was already coming up, and maybe had some sixth sense that could tell when his mother needed help as he didn’t want to go down there, believe that Gerard might force him to actually write something down for his essay. Sighing to himself, he turned the corner to get to the top of the staircase and walked right into Gerard with a startled ‘oomph.’

“Oh, sorry! I didn’t see you there.” Gerard took a couple of small steps back until his eyes could focus on the person he barged into. “Frank. Sorry! I was just coming up to see if my mom needed any help. I had a feeling she did.” Frank chuckled to himself – he was right with is small hope. “Why are you laughing? – It doesn’t matter. Where’s my mom?”

“Looking f-for Mikey,” Frank replied, trying to hide the smile he couldn’t explain to Gerard without sounded strange.

“Hm, okay. I’ll – I’ll go and get things from the kitchen. D’you want to help?” he asked, gesturing towards the kitchen that Frank had just walked out of. Not wanting to disagree, or start his work, Frank readily agreed and followed Gerard.

***

It was approaching 7PM when Donna finally got everyone to sit down together. Everyone had their own paper plates, stacked high with the food from the table, but this didn’t stop Frank leaning over and picking off Gerard’s plate when he guessed he wouldn’t notice. He did notice, multiple times, but decided to ignore it, loving the way Frank tried to conceal a smug smile every time he caught Gerard’s eye. 

They were all sat around the TV, watching the other countries around the world celebrating New Years. Every so often, the camera switched to a place in the world which was setting off fireworks. Sparks of every imaginable colour filled the sky, illumining the ground and people below. Frank reached over and found Gerard’s hand; he squeezed it discreetly and smiled up at him.

“Does anyone have any New Year’s Resolutions yet?” Donna asked, resting her plate on her lap and looked around the room. She was met with an incoherent noise from the three boys squashed in the small space between the sofas. “Fine,” she laughed. “Gerard, do you have any resolutions, and do you want to share them with us?”

Gerard thought over some of the ones he’d been making a mental list of for the past few days. As well as the cliché ones – to start a new diet, be nicer, et cetera – as well as some more unique ones. “Um, maybe to draw more, but in different styles. Does that count as one?”

“I don’t think there are any rules for making them, Gerard,” Mikey laughed, looking up momentarily from his cell phone before going back to typing quickly.

“That’s true. Mikey, stop ignroing everyone. Whoever you’re talking to won’t die in the next couple of hours. And after you’ve put your phone down, you can tell us what your resolutions are.”

Mikey grumbled and threw his phone onto one of the seats in front of him. “My resolution is to make no more resolutions, like it always has been. Every year. You know this.”

Frank let out a choked snorting sound when he heard the utter bluntness of his reply. He tried not to laugh, but when Mikey raised an eyebrow at him, he couldn’t control the laughter. Everyone turned to face him, but Frank couldn’t make himself care. He let go of Gerard’s hand and place his own on his side, trying to regain his breath. “S-sorry,” he managed to apologize between gasping breaths for air.

Gerard chuckled at his and patted his back. “So, do you have any, Frankie?”

Once Frank had caught his breath again, he looked around the room and tried to think of something reasonable to say. “Um, p-passing all my c-classes? I dunno,” he said breathlessly with a small shrug.

“Sounds good to me,” Donna praised. “Since none of you are going to ask me, mine is to start afresh – go to the gym, eat healthily, quit smoking. All of that shit.” Both Mikey and Gerard snorted in unison. “What? Don’t you think I could do it? Where’s that support you’re meant to get from your family?” she asked rhetorically, adding a dramatic roll of her eyes for emphasis.

“Sorry, Ma, but that’s been the same for the last, what, four years now?” Mikey spoke up.

“And you’re saying that this year can’t be my year? Your lack of support these days is astonishing! But, whatever. You’ll see,” she laughed, now standing up. “Are you done with the plates? I’ll bring in dessert.”

***

It was edging closer to midnight, and as every second passed, Gerard could feel the excitement radiating off Frank who was sat next to him. He kept on forgetting that this was Frank’s first experience of a family New Year’s celebration. He tried not to dwell on it, as the thought alone made his mood drop, and knowing Frank, he would be able to pick up on it a bit like a pet dog would.

He looked to his side and saw that Frank was physically vibrating with anticipation next to him. He quietly laughed and stayed sat down with him, occasionally looking out of the window to see his neighbours setting up their fireworks. There were only a few minutes before every possible firework went off. When Mikey was younger, he used to think it was another World War, which never failed to make Gerard laugh and Mikey to blush profusely whenever it was mentioned.

“Is it n-nearly time?” Frank asked, still fidgeting next to him and quickly looking outside and back to the clock.

“Nearly,” Gerard laughed, placing his hand on the younger boy’s shoulders to steady him. “I usually go outside to watch them; you get a better view like that.” Frank practically screamed with excitement when Gerard suggested it – not evening thinking that sitting outside was going to be an option.

“I’ll g-get the blankets,” he said a bit too loudly, and stumbled to his feet before sprinting towards the direction of their room.

“He’s a bit excited,” Donna chuckled as she watched the space where Frank had been only moments before. “Bless him, though.” Gerard shook his head in dismay but smiled at his mother.

“I’ll go and wait out there for him. Happy New Year, mom,” he said, and looked around the room, “and Mikey too, wherever he’s gone.”

***

It was freezing outside. There was a thin layer of frost covering the grass and trees, giving them a magical, glittery shine when the light from the streetlights above reached them. There was no wind either, giving the night an almost eerie stillness. The only sounds he could hear were the infrequent cheering noises coming from houses around him, drunk people walking down streets and the occasional howl of a dog every time a firework went off somewhere in their neighbourhood. He prayed to himself that Frank would hurry up, knowing that he’d feel a lot more comfortable with someone else next to him.

He stood just outside the door, on the porch, and waited for Frank to arrive with the blankets and whatever else he could lay his hands on in the time given. Gerard looked through the window and tried to see the time. It was getting closer to midnight, and there still wasn’t any sign of his boyfriend just yet. He impatiently started to tap his foot on the wooden decking, and looking behind him to check if the door was going to open into him.

The longer he stayed out, the creepier the night became. It was almost pitch black, except for the single firework which lit up the sky every once in a while and the flickering streetlights, that casted down an orange hue. If anything, Gerard wished the lights weren’t there. He didn’t like the uneasy feeling resting in his gut. He didn’t like how they flickered and enhanced and distorted shadows, making them look like something for a horror story. He felt a cold shiver run down his spine and the mere thought of what could be out there.

However, before he put too much thought into it, Frank came rushing out of the door; a draft of warm air hitting Gerard’s back. He was hanging on to an armful of blankets like his life depended on it. He gave a quick grin in Gerard’s direction before pulling him by the hand to the middle of the grassy area.

“’S cold,” Frank commented, throwing the sheets on the floor. He smoothed them out, checked for rocks and anything else which would be uncomfortable to sit on and sat down heavily. “Come, s-sit.” He patted the space next to him. He bent his knees, holding to his chest and let out a long breath, looking at the condensation coming from it. “Cold,” he repeated.

Gerard sat down next to him. He budged up to Frank and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. Frank placed the side of his head on the older boy’s shoulder and fidgeted until his head was comfortably in the crook of Gerard’s neck.

“How m-much longer?” he asked, looking up at Gerard through his hair with expectant eyes.

“About three, maybe four, minutes? How’s New Year for you, so far?” Gerard asked. He brushed some of Frank’s hair front in front of his face, making the younger boy’s eyes widen with surprise. It didn’t take long for Frank to relax into Gerard’s touch, and push gently into the palm of his hand how a cat would.

“It’s g-good – fun. I l-love it.”

Gerard hummed happily and reached in front of them to grab the end of the double duvet. He pulled it up and wrapped it around themselves, successfully fending off the freezing air around them. They huddled together and Gerard propped himself up on his elbows, letting Frank to use his chest as some kind of pillow. Gerard petted Frank’s hair softly, allowing the strands to fall through his fingers. “Don’t fall asleep,” he whispered as he felt Frank relax a bit too much on him. “There’s only a minute left until midnight.”

“’Wasn’t,” Frank said, slurred by sleepiness. He sat up slowly from his laying position and squashed up to Gerard. He reached down and slid his hand into the older boy’s, ignoring how cold his hands were.

Within seconds of Frank stopping himself from falling asleep, the noise of people counting down the seconds until midnight could be heard in the wind.

Gerard leaned closer to Frank and whispered, “You ready?” before the climax of the countdown started.

“Five...” Frank said under this breath. “Four... three... two...”

“One,” they said in unison. The moment they said it, fireworks came emerging from every direction. Frank didn’t have enough time to admire the first few seconds of the display as Gerard had turned to him and pressed his lips against Frank’s. Slightly taken aback, Frank let out a shocked sound and completely froze for a split second. Once he’d registered what was happening, he kissed back. They made sure they kept it as innocent as possible, knowing that Donna was probably watching the fireworks from inside the house.

Frank pulled back to allow some air back into his lungs. He laughed at the desperately needy sounds Gerard made when he pulled away.

Frank lay on his back and looked up at the sky. Everywhere he looked there was sparks flying in the air, lighting it with every colour known to man. In the distance, he hear the high pitched whizzing sounds of rockets, followed by an explosion and a chorus of oh’s and ah’s at every one. The people across the street had put some firework in the ground. Frank saw someone run with a match, and light it before making his way back. As soon as the person got to a safe enough distance, the seemingly small Roman candle exploded into life, sending red and white sparks all over the garden. When it was over, a thin smoke covered the grass, making it almost look like fog had submerged them for a while. The next thing Frank could smell was the smoke produced by the gunpowder. It wasn’t like fire smoke or any other fire he’d smelled before. This one was thicker – maybe even dusty, if anything could smell like that.

“Do you like them?” Gerard asked over the sound of rockets exploding and the faint sound of young children crying because of the loud bangs.

Frank stayed quiet, but nodded. He was still looking up at the sky in pure wonder, and couldn’t find a way to describe it. He’d had other New Year’s before, but most of them he had spent up in his room or was too young to remember them. This one was definitely one he wasn’t going to forget any time soon.

“Maybe next year we could buy sparklers. They’re fun,” Gerard thought aloud into the darkness, smiling at the keen noises Frank made when he heard the suggestion.

They stayed outside for a bit longer, wrapping themselves up more in the blankets and tried to ignore the horrible damp feeling seeping through the fabric from the melting frost beneath them. The fireworks had died down, with the exception for a few rockets here and there. Now, most people were staggering home from parties, swearing loudly and bumping into walls and cars. Both Frank and Gerard spent a few minutes giggling at how stupid some people looked wobbling down the streets to eventually get to their respective homes.

If Gerard could have had it his way, he would’ve camped out all night under the stars with Frank. But when he heard the front door creek open, he knew his dream was short-lived. Donna called them in, telling them that it was getting on for 1AM and that they really needed to get inside, and warm, before they caught their deaths.

Frank rolled his eyes and stood up; throwing the warm cocoon they’d made for themselves over the last couples of hours. “Come o-on. It’s late,” he said, offering a hand for Gerard to take. He lifted him up and started to bundle up the blankets from the floor. He cringed slightly when he felt how damp they were, and hoped that they had spares somewhere in the house.

It took a few minutes to pick everything up and to check at there wasn’t going to be anymore last minute firework displays, before Frank finally agreed to go back inside.

“T-that was great. T-thank you,” he said to Gerard as they walked up the path together, one hand comfortably in his boyfriend’s and the other clutching onto a mass of sheets.

“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it. I’m glad you enjoyed it.” Gerard pushed open the door with his foot and letting themselves in. “It was fun.”

Frank walked towards Gerard, until his mouth was only centimetres from his ears. He leaned closer and “H-happy New Year,” into his ear, accompanied by a small kiss right behind it.

Gerard felt an instant surge of head spread through his body. He shivered, completely forgetting how sensitive that area was for him. “Happy New Year to you too, Frankie,” he replied in an equally as gentle voice, smiling drowsily at the boy beside him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully I'll update before Friday because I'll be away for most of the weekend. Plus, I want to get this book/part done with so I can start afresh on the other part of this series! xo


	31. Chapter 31

“How was your vacation, then?” Ray asked from across the table they were sitting at. He rested his elbows on the surface and looked at his friends with an expectant smile.

Their cafeteria wasn’t anything spectacular, it was just a room packed with tables and chairs in every possible space. At the far end, there were a neat line of refrigerators and hot plates where the canteen staff dished out the endless amount of slop they made. The other students lined up quietly and waited for their turn. Both Frank and Gerard vowed never to eat anything that they made after the first day of seeing it, and opted for the chilled items or the food Donna insisted on making them take whenever she saw them. As nice as Gerard’s mom’s gift was, it barely lasted them a day between them, with the addition of Ray sneaking bits off them when no one was looking.

“It was okay, I guess,” Gerard shrugged and sent a small smile in Frank’s direction. Ray wasn’t convinced and started to press them both for any kind of detail into their two weeks off, not stopping when Frank managed to add some of his opinion about the break. What seemed like a decade later, Ray was finally happy with his answers he received from (predominantly) Gerard.

“Since you were so interested in what we did, what did you do over Christmas?” Gerard asked, cocking his eyebrow a bit.

Ray took a deep breath and started to go into great depth about how his mother decided to invite over every family member. Both Frank and Gerard nodded and made some sympathetic sounds, totally understanding his annoyance when a flood of people who he hadn’t seen since he was a toddler invaded his house. Overall, Ray’s Christmas and New Year’s celebrations seemed similar to the other two boys’ ones; mainly boring with a few highlights.

As dull as some parts of their time off was, they all agreed that they’d prefer to be anywhere but school.

The lunch period always flew by, and before they knew it everyone was out of their seats and walking towards the open doors and, finally, to their respective classes. Today was the day when Frank, Gerard nor Ray had any classes together. They said their farewells and sighed before making their way towards the classrooms.

***

Their usual teacher – a strict, abide by the rules woman – wasn’t back on the first day. The class let out a cheer when another teacher walked into the class. The new person looked timid and shy when he looked around the room, gauging the kind of people who he’d be trying to teach. Gerard slouched down in his seat and watched the substitute teacher pace around the room nervously. The teacher in front was desperately trying to explain some long and complicated math equation to a class who really couldn’t care any less. It was funny to see someone who had trained for years and years to teach children become flustered by a relatively small group of sixteen and seventeen year olds with a distinct lack of interested.

Eventually, the teacher gave up and heaved a sigh of defeat and turned away from writing numbers down on the large chalkboard. He took a few steps towards the desk and opened one of the drawers. The teacher rummaged around and muttered to himself for a couple of seconds before smiling to himself. He stood up and cleared his throat. The people at the back of the class who were having a lengthy debate about some celebrity looked up, smirking.

“I have your test results here,” he told the class, his voice only wobbling slightly. “I’m going to call you up by name and you need to come and collect them. Understand?” The students mumbled some kind of agreement, and waited for their named to be called out.

Naturally, it was by surname, so Gerard was one of the last people to be called up. The other people walked up and took the sheet of paper with their marks on, and turned them over whilst making their way back to their friends. Gerard laughed at the different reactions received by others, some smiled down at their marks and other groaned, covering their faces with embarrassment as the people around them pointed at their lower grades.

“Way?” the teacher called, snapping Gerard out from his thoughts. He got up from his chair, scraping the legs across the floor and walked towards the front. He told himself that he’d look at them first when he was with Frank, but curiosity overtook him. He resumed his previous slouching position and flipped over the paper. He gazed down the writing. He hadn’t done too badly – he’d managed to pass everything, even History to his utter surprise. He looked down at the subjects they’d placed their dumb bets on before. In the sciences and math result, he’d managed to achieve straight B’s in every one. He smiled to himself.

The smile was soon wiped off his face when he felt a hand being pressed painfully down onto his shoulder. He looked up and locked eyes with one of the assholes from his class. Not trying to show the fear which hit him, he smiled sweetly up to the person standing behind him.

“Don’t smile at me, fag,” the boy spat at him. He felt his blazer become tighter as the person behind him started to clench his fist, holding his blazer tight.

Gerard felt his breathing become shallower, but tried to ignore it and turned to face the person behind him more. He instantly recognised him. The person grabbing onto his blazer was Darren Owen, and he was known throughout the school for being one of the worst bullies there. People questioned why he was still in school, but no one plucked up the courage to ask him.

“What do you want?” Gerard asked, pleased with himself when his voice didn’t crack or shake.

“What’re you smilin’ at? Thinkin’ about your boyfriend?” The crowd that had gathered behind him started to jeer and encouraged him on, even adding their own insults into the mix.

Gerard shook his head. “I was just looking at my results. It’s nice to get good marks; it’s not like you’d know what it’s like, though.” The group of people went silent and Darren looked down at Gerard, anger and hatred rising with every blink. Gerard was quiet too, shocked at himself for his out of character response. He didn’t have long to question it before he heard Darren mutter something under his breath about ‘nerds’ and ‘fags’ before his fist came into contact with Gerard’s jaw, making him topple off his chair and onto the floor.

The once silent classroom was quickly filled with gasps and claps. From his position on the floor, Gerard tried to prop himself up on his elbows, and get away from Darren who was now looming over him menacingly. Once he moved, a shooting pain shot through his jaw. He groaned and pressed the palm of his hand to the most painful part.

Darren kneeled down next to Gerard and held him still; making sure the other boy couldn’t wriggle away from him. He leaned in closer and said in a low, threatening voice, “Say that again, I dare ya’.” Gerard let out a pathetic whine and shook his head. He could feel blood start to pool in his mouth – the sickening iron taste made his stomach turn. Knowing he couldn’t spit in on the floor, he kept his mouth shut. He looked around the room for the teacher, but didn’t see anyone. Typical.

Gerard’s jaw hurt and all he wanted to do was get out of the room and find the nurse’s office to get some ice, but Darren was still next to him and not letting him move. His other classmates didn’t help him and suggest to Darren that he should let Gerard go; they just laughed and patted him on the back occasionally.

He started to question whether he was ever going to get anything to help dull to ache, until someone alerted Darren that a teacher was coming and he quickly stood up, freeing Gerard from his vice-like grip. He let out a small sigh of relief, but it was short lived. As soon as Darren was standing up, he kicked Gerard in the ribs, hard, knocking out any remaining air from his lungs.

The substitute teacher walked into the room and looked around, holding textbooks to his chest. Everyone was sitting at their desks – Darren included – and were doing a good job about acting like nothing had happened. The teacher wasn’t convinced. He looked over to the space where Gerard was supposed to be, and noticed no one was there. The teacher opened his mouth to question his absence, but was beaten to it when Gerard made a crying sound when he tried to move.

The teacher paled when he saw Gerard on the floor. “Who did this?” he asked, raging showing in his voice. No one came forward. “Who did it? Who hurt him?” he repeated, his voice shacking with anger.

“Maybe he...fell?” someone suggested from the back of the class. Everyone around them tried to hold in laughs.

“Who –? Never mind. Come on, let’s get you something to put on that,” the teacher said, walking over to Gerard and lifting him up from the floor. It hurt like a bitch, but Gerard was grateful that he was getting away from everyone, and could _finally_ get the blood out of his mouth.

The teacher slowly walked towards the door and pushed it open for him.  The other students laughed and made patronising sounds as they left, but neither Gerard or the teacher went back to stop them.

“Where’s the nurse’s office?” he asked quietly. Gerard nodded down the hall towards the reception area.

“Thanks for your help, but I know the way,” Gerard slurred. He felt a trickle of blood come from his mouth and cringed. He wiped it away before anyone could see it, but had a feeling that a light red stain would’ve been left behind.

“No – no, I can’t leave you like this. They’ll be fine,” the stand-in teacher insisted. “Do you know who did this?” he asked as they walked at a snail's pace.

Gerard sighed and pointed to his mouth, trying to indicate that he really couldn’t talk without letting out a rush of blood. He mumbled something, and the teacher understood as he let out an ‘oh’ and an understanding nod.

They made it to the nurse’s office and walked in, without knocking. The nurse was sitting at her desk with a bored expression. Nothing really happened in school that required a nurse, with the exception of common colds and falls, so she looked up and let out a small gasp in horror when she saw the bruises on Gerard’s jaw.

The nurse – like many of the staff in the school – was in her late forties, with greying hair in a bun. She had a kind face and soft features, making her look welcoming enough for anyone.

She quickly stood up from the desk and walked the couples of paces towards them both. “I’ll look after him now Mister...”

“Lugg,” the teacher – Mr. Lugg – said, filling in the gap.

“Right, Mr. Lugg. Thank you for bringing him, he’ll be okay now.” And with that, the teacher strolled out of the room, leaving a cool breeze after him.

“Come – sit,” the nurse said, patting the plastic covered bed. Gerard obeyed and sat down, dangling his legs off the edge and kicking them a bit.

“What happened? Who did – wait, let me get you something to get rid of the blood in your mouth. I’m sure that isn’t a good taste,” she said, laughing to herself. She retrieved a metal bowl and handed it to Gerard. He gratefully accepted it, and spat out the mix of blood and saliva which had been in his mouth for far too long. Once the bloody saliva was out of his mouth, the nurse handed him a glass of water and asked him to try and wash out as much of the blood as possible. It hurt to a lot to try and get the water all over his mouth, but he persisted, and spat it out.

The nurse placed the palm of her hand on Gerard’s jaw and he let out a low groan in pain.

“Sorry, I know it hurts. I just need to check if anything’s broken...” She pressed a little, and hummed to herself. A few minutes passed, and Gerard was still in immense pain. Eventually, she stopped and nodded. “It seems like nothing’s broken – you’re lucky. It’s just very, very bruised. I’ll get you some ice, and write you a note. You should probably stay away from class for the next day, at least.”

It only took her a few minutes to return with an ice pack and a note for him. Gerard had never felt so pleased to see ice in his life, and groaned with happiness and the cold started to numb his face. He looked down at the noted and did he best to smile. It was only the first day back and he was allowed to spend a few days off, and this time he was meant to.

“It’ll swell, but don’t worry. It’ll go down within a few days, but you’ll be left with an impressive bruise for the next week or so,” she informed him. Gerard nodded, he expected it.

“Thank you,” he said as gracefully as he could with ice hiding the right side of his face. “I won’t piss – annoy anyone else now.” The nurse laughed and shooed him out of the room. It was near the end of the day, and Gerard guessed that his note got him out of the last ten minutes of Math and Geography. He could probably ask whoever was taking the lesson for the notes later on.

He hurried towards the doors, looking behind in every once in a while to make sure he wasn’t being followed. Just as he reached the doors, he remembered he still had his bad and other equipment in the class. Not wanting to show up in that class, he reached into his pocket and quickly messaged Frank asking if he could pick them up after school, not including why he couldn’t do it himself, or why he was going back to their dorm and hour and a half early.

And with that, he pushed open the door with his free hand and walked into the cold January air.

***

His lifeless dorm had never felt more heavenly to Gerard before. It was still cold out, and the half melted ice pack only added to it. It was a nice cold, though. It eased the pain which was still throbbing. He walked into the bathroom and turned on the light. Once it was bright enough, he stood in front of the mirror, and with a deep breath, he removed the ice from his face. As the nurse said, it had started to swell up and a dark purple bruise was forming. Great.

He touched the bruise gently with the tip of his finger, and felt the pain rush back through his lower face again. He whined and put the once-ice pack onto his face. The cold water sloshing around the bag felt strange against his face, but it got rid of some of the pain, and that was all that mattered to him.

He rummaged around the medicine bag his mother forced him to bring, praying that he’d remembered to bring some form of pain-killers with him. There wasn’t much in the bag; there were the usual medicines for colds and a half used box sleeping pills, but no pain-killers. Fuck.

There wasn’t much to do in their dorm, and now there was even less without his bag and art supplies. He sat on the lower bunk and looked under it, searching for something to do. At back of the bed, right up against the wall, Gerard saw a little book. It was dark under the bed and couldn’t read what it said on top, but he guessed it was left behind from years ago, as nothing they owned would have gotten that far under it, unless Frank pushed it that far back, which would’ve been stupid.

Gerard put the melted ice pack on the side and slid off the bed onto his knees. Ignoring the shooting pain in his jaw, he reached the under bed, trying to get the mystery book. It was a too far back for him to grab without going under the bed. He sighed and shuffled forwards, putting half in body under it. It was dusty and cramped, and probably hadn’t been cleaned under there since the building was first constructed, but Gerard tried to forget about that, and stretched his arm until his fingers touched the book. To his surprise, it wasn’t as dusty or as old as he anticipated. He moved backwards, and sat up once he was sure he wouldn’t knock his head on the metal slats. He blindly reached for the pack and placed it back on his face again.

He balanced the book on his knee and wiped off some of the thin layer of dust to see what was written on the front. In scratchy handwriting was written ‘ _F. Iero_ ’. Gerard blinked a couple of times, making sure he was reading it correctly. It definitely was Frank’s – he recognised the handwriting and the chances of there ever being more than one person with the same name were very small.

There was probably a good reason why Frank had hidden the book beneath the bed, but Gerard was nosey, and would think about what was in the book if he didn’t look at one page. One page wasn’t going to hurt anyone, and if he didn’t tell Frank, he wouldn’t know either.

The thought of him invading something which was more likely than not very personal did cross Gerard’s mind, and he thought of an apology to tell Frank, but that didn’t stop him flipping open the book and looking down at the first page.

At the top of the page there were various words scribbled, some had lines through them and others had been circled but later crossed out, too. The remaining one was ‘ _Yesterday_ ’. Gerard two and two together and realised it was a title for a song. He looked down the page and saw a mess of what must have been lyrics. Like the titles, some words were crossed out and others weren’t. Around the side there were notes, some about key and others about other music things Gerard wasn’t sure about.

‘ _I think of running away, I can't keep running away. Can't keep feeling the same_.’ Gerard read to himself, feeling his throat become tight when he read them. He was sure he remembered Frank mentioning he wrote sometimes, but he never imagined that it was like this. It explained a lot about why Frank was exceptionally good at English; he’d probably had a lot of time to practise by himself when his parents ignored him. He read on, ‘ _I can't keep taking the blame._ _I wanna run with you._ _I don't care what we do, gotta get out of this place,_ _because it feels like yesterday..._ ’ And that’s where the lyrics stopped. Nothing more, nothing less. He turned over the page, expecting to see more, but the remaining pages were blank. Gerard didn’t know whether he’d lost interest or his parents caught him writing, Gerard didn’t want to know.

He didn’t feel the tears welling up in his eyes until they started to spill over, running down his cheeks.  The salty water stung where he was punched, but he didn’t care. He wanted to ask Frank was made him write lyrics like that, but he already had a feeling who triggered them. And even if he _did_ ask him, he couldn’t. He couldn’t tell Frank that he’d been looking through his lyric book, regardless that it only had forty-three words.

He couldn’t dwell on it any further because he could hear Frank and Ray talking as they walked up to the door. Panicked, Gerard pushed the book under the bed and swiftly walked into the bathroom and make sure that his eyes didn’t look too puffy, or what he could pass it off as swelling.

Gerard heard them stroll in and throw their stuff down with a small laugh. He couldn’t make out what they were talking about, but he heard the occasional giggle and smiled to himself.

“Gee, where are you, man?” Ray called out from the other room. “Why did you need me to get your stuff? Did you feel sick or something? – Was it your marks, did you see that you lost?” Frank laughed and Gerard heard a slight ‘oomph’, suggesting that Frank had playfully punch Ray in some part of his body.

He checked himself in the reflection of the mirror for the final time and unlocked the bathroom door.

“I’m sure they weren’t – “Ray started just as Gerard came out of the bathroom. Both boys’ mouths opened in shock as the saw the deep purple mark on his jaw. “What – what happened to you?!”

Gerard waved him off, not wanting to go into detail. Frank walked attentively towards his boyfriend, and gently put moved his hand out of the way to replace it with his own.

“What h-happened?” Frank whispered in shock, staring at Gerard’s face. “D-does it hurt? Who – who d-did this?”

“It doesn’t hurt anymore,” Gerard lied. “And it doesn’t matter who did it to me, at least I’m alive,” he added a weak laugh to try and make them drop it.

Ray shook his head. “Lies,” he muttered. “You can’t just drop it. You’re lucky you haven’t broken anything – you haven’t broken anything, right?” Gerard quickly explained his conversation between him and the nurse. “Still, you’re lucky that it’s only bruised. You could’ve had _so_ much worse. You need to watch yourself, Way,” Ray told him with a stern look.

“W-we were going to t-talk about our r-results, but that need t-to wait,” Frank said shyly. “Sorry, Ray.”

“Its fine, I wasn’t going to stay anyway. Gerard looks like shit.” He turned to Gerard with an apologetic look, “Sorry, Gee.” Gerard shrugged, it was true. He looked awful and felt awful, too.

“Yeah, it’s fine. I was just about to sleep for a bit. I feel shitty, anyway.”

Ray picked up his bags and gave Gerard one last sorrowful look before leaving them alone.

They both stood in silence, neither knowing what to say. Frank looked worried and slightly scared, whereas Gerard was just in pain and the lack of ice was finally getting to him.

Frank moved strands of hair from Gerard’s face and traced the faint lines of tears which were still on his boyfriend’s face. “What h-happened?” Frank asked again, in a sadder voice than before. “Who d-did this?”

Gerard sighed, knowing that Frank wouldn’t stop asking until he got an answer. He directed his partner to the lower bunk and sat down.

“Darren Own from my Math class. I said something dumb and this happened,” he said, gesturing to his face. Frank looked at him sadly. “But hey, it’s not all that bad. The nurse said I could have a few days off. I could draw something – draw _you_ something,” he suggested, hoping to make the younger boy smile a bit.

“T-that’s nice, thank y-you, but you wouldn’t h-have to do it i-if you didn’t get _punched_. We-we’ve been back f-for a day, Gee. A d-day!” he shouted, tears streaming down his face.

“No, come on. Don’t cry. There’s nothing _to_ cry about. We’re all okay, we know who did it. I’ll just tell someone whenever I go back to school. It’ll get sorted out soon enough,” Gerard said, trying to add a light spin onto the situation. Frank sniffed and wrapped his waist and pulled him as close as possible without hitting Gerard’s jaw.

“Shhh, it’s okay. Why are you crying?” he asked, petting Frank’s hair.

“I d-don’t like seeing you hurt,” Frank replied in a shaky voice, and buried his face into Gerard’s neck more.

“I know, I know,” Gerard mumbled, still stroking Frank’s hair. “I need to sleep, but you could go to Ray’s if you get bored.” Frank let out a low whine. “I’m sorry, baby. I won’t get in anyone’s way anymore – I’ll lie low, whatever it takes,” he promised.

“M’kay,” Frank said, getting up from the bed and throwing his bag over his shoulder. “I’m g-going to do homework a-at Ray’s. I l-love you,” he whispered, blowing a dramatic kiss towards Gerard. He played along, pretending to catch it and put it in his pocket.

“Love you too,” he replied, smiling, even though it hurt to do so.

Frank tiptoed out of the room, locking the door behind him.

Gerard thought about getting out of his uniform, but he was exhausted. The first day back after any amount of time off was tough, but getting punched only added to it. Besides, trying to pull his blazer over his head would only result in more pain which he wasn’t willing to inflict onto himself.

He kicked off his shoes and pushed them under the bed, trying to divert his mind from what else was under there, too. When his shoes were off, he put the defrosted ice pack under the bed, making sure it was out of the way so neither he or Frank stood on it by mistake.

He sighed when he pulled the covers over himself. It was still light outside, but he couldn’t find it in himself to try and close the blinds. He rolled over, resting his non-hurt side on the pillow and tried to sleep.

Maybe it wouldn’t hurt as much as did then, he told himself as he drifted off to sleep.


	32. Chapter 32

People always told you that it wouldn’t hurt in the morning, or that the pain would die down. Like many things people said, it was a lie. When Gerard woke up, the first thing he felt was an ache in the lower half of his face. Groggy and confused, he touched the area where the pain was coming from, and instantly regretted his discussion. The pain tripled, making him groan out in discomfort. It was still early, the sky was still an inky black colour, and he couldn’t recall how he managed to hurt himself.

Frank was curled up in a ball next to him, snoring gently. As much as Gerard wanted to go and check out what was causing the tenderness in his jaw, he didn’t want to disturb Frank, knowing it would only end up in the younger boy being grumpy for the rest of the day. Gerard sat in silence, looking up at the slats from the bunk above him. There wasn’t much to do in their dorm at a usual time, meaning there was even less at some ungodly hour of the morning when he had to stay quiet.

Gerard took the time to try and think about how he could’ve possible obtained the somewhat mystery injury. He didn’t think he could’ve done it to himself while he slept, and highly doubted his boyfriend would have been able to do it without waking him in the process. He turned his head to look at Frank. He was so peaceful when he slept; his face was free of any kind of anxiety. Gerard shook his head, Frank wouldn’t have done it. He wouldn’t hurt a fly, even if he was paid to do so.

He gently placed his fingertips along his jaw line, trying to find out the exact place where the ache was coming from. It took him a few seconds, but when he found it, he let out a gasp of pain. He covered his mouth, trying to stifle the sound, but the quick movement made Frank stir and start to wake up.

“Shit,” he said under his breath. Gerard tried to get back into a lying position, hoping that he could pretend to be asleep so Frank wouldn’t wake up. Even though Gerard tried to uncover his best acting skills, it didn’t work. His boyfriend mumbled something sleepily, and rolled onto his side.

“W-why are y-you awake?” Frank yawned. He blinked a few times, trying to focus his eyes in the darkness of the room. He cuddled closer to Gerard, intertwining their legs together and making it impossible for either one of them to move.

Gerard shrugged and pulled Frank into a half-hug, but it was the best he could do while lying down. “I dunno. My jaw started to hurt, I guess.” Frank made a sympathetic noise and shuffled up to kiss Gerard on the nose. He smiled, loving the stupid displays of affection he got.

“He p-punched you pretty h-hard,” Frank said sadly. Gerard could see the glistening of Frank’s eyes through the darkness when small beams of light hit them. He looked like he was going to cry.

“Punched?” Gerard thought aloud. When did he get punched? “When? – By who?” he asked Frank, sitting up a little so he could see the younger boy properly.

Frank looked perplexed. “Don’t... don’t y-you remember? It h-happened yesterday. Darren-“ Frank started, but Gerard cut him off with a gasp. How could he forget?

“ _Oh_ ,” Gerard said, the memory of the previous day coming back to him. “Oh, right. Yeah, Darren. I probably deserved that one,” he laughed, shaking his head a little.

Frank opened his mouth to argue back, but Gerard spoke before he could. “No, I did. I wasn’t thinking when I said it.”

“What d-did you say?” Frank asked, resting his head on Gerard’s shoulder and looking up at him.

Gerard thought about it for a couple of seconds, trying to remember the exact words. “Something about him being stupid? Basically, a dumb thing to say to someone like him. He can’t accept the truth and likes to live in ignorance.” He ignored the displeased sound Frank made, knowing that his attitude wasn’t the best towards his fellow classmates. But, in his defence, it was true. He may get bullied for getting high grades, but he knew he would at least get somewhere in life.

Frank sighed. “Try a-and say out of t-trouble. I don’t w-want to be arranging y-your funeral any time s-soon.”

He laughed at Frank’s outrageous idea, but saw the expression on his face and stopped. “I know, I know. I’ll stay low – won’t cause any more trouble. There’s only a few months left and then we’ll never have to see him – or anyone else here – again.”

Frank didn’t comment. He unwound himself from Gerard and slipped off the bed. “I’m g-going to get you s-some ice,” he announced.

“But it’s still early. No one will be up.”

“Ice,” Frank said bluntly, and wrapped a woollen blanket around before leaving the room.

***

He’d totally misjudged the temperature. He knew it would be cold, but he wasn’t sure exactly _how_ cold it would be. He took a wild guess before leaving, guessing it would be kind of chilly out. He was wrong. Once he made it out of the block of dorms, the bitter air hit him. It was fucking freezing. He wrapped the blanket around him tighter, trying to keep himself warm.

He made his way towards the school building. He knew it was still too early as there wasn’t anyone out, not even the caretaker. It was eerie. There was always something off-putting about seeing your school without the usual bustle of people walking from class to class, the laughing and shouting of younger students and teachers hurrying everyone along. The only think that could add to the uneasy feeling resting in Frank’s stomach was if there was a low fog, but luckily there wasn’t this time.

Frank took a deep breath, the condensation making a satisfying cloud of steam come from his mouth, and walked up the steps to the main doors. He hoped they were open. It wasn’t too early, but the long winter nights made it seem earlier than it was. He thought about knocking first, his parents had insisted on drilling manners into his brain, but he quickly realised it was a stupid idea. Who would knock on the door for their own school? Not him. He pushed them open.

The hallway was deserted. It made the school look abandoned, and the still silence only made it seem worse. Frank roughly knew where the nurse’s office was – Gerard said it was down the hall, near Reception. Hoping his directions were right, he slowly walked towards the door. It was ajar and Frank could hear someone humming along to a song on the radio. Plucking up the small amount of courage he could, he knocked on the door.

The person inside stopped singing and turned off the radio. “I’m coming,” she said, a bit too happily for the time it was, and opened the door.

The person who stood in front of Frank was how he expected. Gerard hadn’t described the person who he saw, but he guessed that they must’ve been the same people because the school wouldn’t have more than one nurse – the school wasn’t that big.

“How can I help you?” she asked, before adding, “It’s a bit early, isn’t it?” Frank mumbled an apology but the nurse just laughed and stepped aside, letting him into the smaller room.

“My boy- uh, f-friend,” Frank coughed, hoping she wouldn’t pick up on his slipup. “My f-friend needs i-ice. He got p-punched yesterday,” he explained. The nurse nodded and started to flick through some files.

“What’s his name?” she asked, not looking up from the papers in front of her.

“Gerard... G-Gerard Way.”

She continued to look through the documents, muttering ‘Way’ under her breath and going through the W section until she came across the one she was looking for. With a little triumphant laugh, she removed Gerard’s file from the cabinet and took a quick look through it.

“Ah, yes, Mr. Way. He had quite a bruise forming when I last saw him. I’m guessing you’re his roommate. I’ll grab some icepacks for you. He probably doesn’t want to wait any longer.” The nurse walked into an even smaller room, probably where the packs were kept. It only took her a few seconds to come back, ice in hand. She handed them over the Frank, explaining that he needed to make sure Gerard kept them to the area he was punched. Apparently, the ice kept the swelling down. Frank nodded, indicating that he understood. He thanked the nurse and then walked out of the room, wrapping the icepacks in the blanket so he didn’t give himself frostbite on the way back to their room.

***

Gerard had his eyes closed and was lying down on the bed. At first, Frank thought he was asleep and tried to walk around the room as quietly as possible, not wanting to wake him. He walked to the bathroom and filled the sink with cold water, making himself a DIY cool box to try and keep the ice as cold as possible for as long as possible. He wrapped one in a towel, making it a little softer and less harsh on the skin for Gerard. When he tiptoed into the bedroom area, Gerard was sitting up, his legs dangling over the edge of the bed.

“Thank you,” he said, smiling up at Frank when he handed him an icepack. He groaned, his eyes rolling back with pleasure when the ice reached the dark purple bruise. “So good,” he breathed. Frank laughed and tilted his head, feeling a slight blush reaching his cheeks at Gerard’s reaction to it.

Gerard peered up at Frank through half-lidded eyes to see him blushing a deep red colour. “What?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow in confusion. Frank shook his head, still blushing. “Tell me,” he whined. “What’s made you blush like that?”

“Nothing,” Frank giggled. “I n-need to get ready f-for school.”

“No – no don’t avoid the question! I know what you’re doing,” he said, mock-annoyed at Frank who just kept on laughing at him. He watched Frank bundle up his school uniform and take a couple of steps towards the bathroom door.

“I’m going t-to change, and y-you’re going to stay h-here. Remember to k-keep that ice t-to your face, it s-stops the swelling,” he told Gerard before going into the bathroom.

Gerard, who was still sitting on the bed, held the icepack to his face and thought about what made Frank blush. He thought of all the possible reasons why he’d go red, and then it hit him. He half gasped and half laughed before shouting, “get your head out of the gutter,” to Frank in the adjoining room. In return, Frank just laughed louder and Gerard swore he heard the sound of someone hitting into the edge of something hard, but Frank’s laughter didn’t flatter.

***

Walking up the icy path to school was always dangerous, and one of the most undesirable things anyone wanted to do. Most students avoided it by either going along to grass either side of it, or opting to choose a longer route. But the grass was thick with mud and ice, making it even worse than the path, and he was going to be late if he chose the longer way. Taking a moment to think of a plan, he took his first step onto the pathway. The part directly outside the door to their dorm block wasn’t too bad. It was a little slippery, but Frank could keep his footing. He warily placed another foot in front of the other, walking slowly up towards the school. He felt like an idiot. It would’ve been better if he had someone with him, and then if he did fall, they could laugh about it together. But Gerard had a note to stay off for a day or two, so Frank had to battle this on his own.

He made it about half way up before he heard someone calling his name. He looked behind him, holding his arms out to steady himself. As he squinted into the distance, he saw someone walking towards him. He felt his heart rate pick up, fearing it was Darren, or one of the people he hung around with, coming to get him and do the same as they did to Gerard. Not in the mood to get beaten up, Frank turned on his heels and picked up his pace. It was a mistake. He felt himself lose his footing and before he could stop himself, he was falling forwards onto the hard, icy ground below.

“Frank! Wait – hey.” Frank inwardly groaned to himself for overreacting. Of course the person who was calling for him was Ray. They lived in the same block of dorm, so naturally he wanted to walk up with Frank, not wanting to face the ice on his own.

“Are you okay?” Ray asked, pushing his hair from in front of his eyes. He made sure he had a stable footing on the ground, and bent down, offering a hand for Frank to take. Frank gratefully took his friend’s hand and was lifted to his feet again.

“Thanks,” Frank said, trying to show his gratitude even though he was about to run away from one of it two friends. “Sorry a-about nearly r-running from you. I t-thought you were D-Darren or somebody.”

Ray shrugged. “I get it, don’t worry. We’ll have to tell someone about it, though. He can’t just...get away with it.” Frank nodded, fully agreeing with what his friend was saying. “We’re going to be late if we don’t hurry up. We can plan what we do about the asshole later. Right now, I don’t want to get shouted at for missing Mass.” And with that, Frank was being pulled up to school without space to complain about it.

***

Being alone all day was boring, and Gerard couldn’t remember how he managed to do it for the first three years of being at the school. As pathetic as it sounded, he was so used to Frank hovering around him, asking questions and cuddling up to him, he didn’t know what to do without him.

The paced around their room, the ice still pressed firmly to his face. He picked up a few things from the floor and moved them around, he folded up some clothes and placed them into the appropriate drawers, but it still didn’t stop him from being bored.

He ended up slumping down on the floor, his cell phone in his hand. He remembered that he hadn’t called his mom in a while, and that it was probably due time to check up on how things were going at home as well as with the court case.

He scrolled down his contacts – which were mainly family and some friends he had lost contact with – before finding his mother’s number. The phone rang, and Gerard expected her not to pick up and for him to have to leave a semi-awkward voicemail, which he hated more than anything.

A handful of rings later, his mother picked up and Gerard sighed in relief. “Hi, mom,” he said, finally feeling guilty that it had been a while since they last talked.

“Hello, love,” his mother replied. “Is everything okay? You seem kind of breathless.”

Gerard shook his head before he realised he was on the phone and that gestures like that were useless. “No – no, I’m fine. I just wanted to check up with everything and to see if everything’s good with you... and Mikey, of course.”

“And by ‘everything’ you mean the case, don’t you?” Donna asked. Gerard could see her rolling her eyes at him. “It’s going well. Mr. Roberts said that things were moving quickly now and we should get something back by the end of next month, if not sooner. And we’re okay. Mikey’s fine – still endlessly playing that goddamn bass,” his mother sighed. Gerard reached over and made a note about when they should get some information back. The case had been going on for over six months, and everyone was getting sick of it.

“But that’s enough about us. How are you and Frank? How’s school?” his mom asked.

“We’re good. Frank’s getting better with social situations. I haven’t seen him panic like he used to before, which is always a good sign. I think he’s also dragged me into a friendship. Yeah, and school is school; it’s boring,” Gerard adjusted the ice on his face, feeling that it was coming to the end of its use, meaning he’d have to dry one off from the sink.

“That’s nice, sweetie,” his mom said. “Shouldn’t you actually be in school? It can’t be your lunch hour yet.”

“Uh...” Gerard hesitated, not really wanting to tell his mother that he was punched for saying something stupid the day before. “It’s nothing, I just don’t feel too well,” he opted for. Although it wasn’t the truth, it wasn’t a lie either, as he didn’t feel too great, and certainly wasn’t up for going to school for hours on end.

“Have you been to the school’s nurse? What’s wrong? Do you have a stomach-ache? Nausea?...” his mom went on listing possible illnesses while Gerard made agreeing or disagreeing sounds whenever he felt was appropriate.

“Mom – mom, I’m okay. I’ve been to the nurse and she said I could take today and maybe tomorrow off. I’ll catch up with the work later. Stop worrying about me!” He laughed.

“Okay, I’m sorry. It’s natural – you’re my baby.” Gerard groaned and tried to hide his face in his hand while still holding ice to his face as well as a phone. “I’m embarrassing you, aren’t I? Well, that’s good. It’s my only purpose as a mother.”

“Mom,” Gerard grumbled. As much as he liked talking to his family, his jaw was beginning to ache again and he was getting tired, all he wanted to do was lie down for a bit.

“Okay, honey. You probably need some rest. Try to phone me before the next century? It’ll be greatly appreciated. Love you.”

“I’ll try. Phone me if anything happens with the lawyer. Love you, too. Bye mom.” He said and ended the call.

The floor was getting uncomfortable, and pins and needles were spreading through his left leg. He put his phone and ice to one side, and lifted himself from the floor. He walked in little circles, hoping to get his blood circulating again before the sheer pain of full-on pins and needles hit him. He didn’t want to any more pain to his already aching body. During his small walk, he made his way into the bathroom. Like Frank said, there were four more icepacks floating in the water, and they were all somewhat frozen. Gerard tried to smile, but his jaw was still hurting so it turned out to be some kind of cringing expression. He threw the old pack to the side, and picked another one out. The water around them as freezing, making Gerard take intake of breath when he dipped his unsuspecting hand into it.

“Shit,” he complained, putting the hand he placed in the water under his armpit to heat it up.

Once he had another icepack, he looked for a dry towel. They were hard to find, since every other one had either been used or were too big. To Gerard’s horror, he realised they’d probably have to do laundry soon. Great.

Or maybe he could convince Ray to do it for them?

But either way, it had to be done soon.

Sighing to himself, Gerard walked back into the bedroom. He wished he was at home with Frank and Mikey. He wished they were on their summer vacation and doing stupid things all the time. Summer seemed so far away when it was early in the year. It felt like the storms and rain was never going to stop, and that summer would just drift away like a memory of a lost loved one.

Maybe if the rooms were bigger, Gerard would have preferred it. He felt cramped up in the small rooms with nowhere to go. Even when the weather was nice, there wasn’t much they could do around the school, expect the little river area where they went at the start of the year. They had the option to go into the main town part, but it was down a long track and not many of the people in the school could drive or brought their cars there. They were all trapped in the school’s grounds for months on end. It would drive anyone a little insane.

Gerard decided that he should try and take his mind of the pain and discomfort by trying to draw something. He hadn’t sketched in a while, and was starting to miss the pen to paper feel of it.

He looked around the room to find where Ray had put his bag from the day before. It didn’t take him long as he had spent ages cleaning everything up. He kneeled down next to it and started to look through the bag. He knew he had some pencils and paper in here, as he hardly took them out.

Once he found them, he went to sit at his spotless desk. He stored out his papers, pens and pencils, making sure they were all at reaching distance, but not in the way or at risk of being knocked off and onto the floor. He looked at the blank paper in front of him, trying to channel some ideas or little plot lines for comic strips.

He tapped the paper with the end of his pencil. He usually got ideas quickly, but not this time. He blamed it on him not drawing in a while, and just having the artists’ equivalent of writers block. It sucked.

He ended up doodling random things around the page; little zombies and ghosts, to potential comic book characters and super villains. Whilst drawing, he realised he didn’t have an actual portfolio to show the people at SVA. He had the odd drawing here and there, but nothing that showed all his talent. If he brought his drawing tablet with him, he could’ve finished the person he started over Christmas. But his mother insisted on it staying home, knowing that it would end up being broken, stolen or lost by Easter.  He’d just have to finish that one later on.

Gerard focused on sketching whatever came into his head, and didn’t notice the clouds casting a dark shadow over the room until it got too dark to draw by. He padded over to the light switch and turned it one. Once the lights had stopped flickering and filled the room with an unnatural yellowish colour, he went back to his desk.

Not too soon after he’d sat down, he heard the sound of footsteps running down the hallway. It wasn’t the end of school just yet, because he would have heard the bell chiming out to signal the end of the day. Before he got to question it anymore, Frank burst into the room, quickly followed by Ray who was wrapped in a large blue scarf.

Both of them had a red hue on their cheeks and were smiling like idiots. Gerard didn’t have to ask before Frank managed to say, “Snow,” excitedly and dragged Gerard up from the chair.

“Yeah, what he said,” Ray said in an equally as excited tone of voice. Now his eyes had become accustomed to the lighting, he did see little specks of white in Frank’s hair and on his eyelashes, making his eyes stand out even more.

“Go! G-get something warm on. W-we’ll be outside,” Frank told him, bouncing from one foot to the other, eager to get outside again.

“Okay, okay. I’m moving. I’m still inured, y’know?” Gerard laughed. He kissed Frank on the mouth to make sure that was joking, knowing how sensitive the boy could get if anyone show any form of irritation towards him.

“You can kiss whenever. The snow, however, won’t be here forever. Let’s go!” Ray urged, still standing in the door way.

Gerard searched through his drawers, destroying all his efforts to keep the room tidy, and found a baggy, but very warm, sweater to pull over his pyjama top. He didn’t bother finding any warm trousers, knowing he didn’t have any. He found the fluffiest pair of socks he could find and slipped them on. He didn’t have to find any shoes and Frank had already done that for him. Grinning, he put them on, tying the laces up at tightly as possible.

“You done now?” Ray asked, looking out the window at the heavily falling snow. It surprised Gerard how he didn’t notice it before.

“Yes, I’m ready. You know the snow won’t melt in the next few minutes.”

“I know, but I don’t want it to be ruined by everyone else. We were let out of class early because our English teacher didn’t want to walk in the snow. So, people are still in school for the next hour.”

Frank took the ice from Gerard, putting it in his pocket. Gerard looked at him, a confused look etched over his face. “I’ll f-freeze outside. We w-won’t have to get m-more from the nurse,” he said like it was blindingly obvious. Impressed by his forward thinking, Gerard nodded.

Gerard took Frank’s hand in his and Ray lead the way outside. Gerard couldn’t help but smile when he felt his boyfriend pull at his hand when they were inches from the snow.

“Is this the first time you’ve seen snow?” Gerard asked, hoping it wasn’t true. Knowing Frank had lived in New Jersey all his life, he doubt it would be, but the stories he heard of his parents made him think otherwise.

“No. T-this is the first t-time I’ve been i-in it,” he said, ducking his head so no one could see the shame on his face.

Gerard squeezed his hand tighter, trying to show some support.

Ray was already outside by the time they reached the door. The brisk breeze swept through the hallway, making them both shiver simultaneously.

“You ready?” Gerard whispered into Frank’s ear. The younger boy nodded with a massive smile like he’d just seen the best thing in the world. “Okay, if I were you, I’d run about now,” he warned.

Frank looked up at him with a confused expression. “Why?” he asked. Just as he got the word out, a snowball hit the side of the building followed by Ray swearing to himself.

“Snowball fight,” Gerard explained as another snowball hit the wall, only centimetres from the two boys.

Frank’s eyes lit up at the mention of it, and ran off in the opposite direction to find somewhere to hide, leaving Gerard exposed in the doorway – making him a perfect target for the onslaught of snowballs which were heading his way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This feels like a really awkward place to stop, but I want to dedicate a whole chapter to the snow because then it could be more detailed. And this chapter was getting a long, and if I combined two chapters together, it would be too long, and maybe dull? xo


	33. Chapter 33

The snow was falling thick and fast, making it next to impossible for Frank to see far in front of him. The white flakes gracefully fell from the dark clouds above, blanketing the ground below. He could see some trees in the distance, which were once a dark green, being dusted with white. It looked like something he’d seen on Christmas cards – idyllic, peaceful and pure.

He took a few steps forwards into the untouched snow. The crunch and crackle of the snow being stood on for the first time made Frank smile. It had been a while since he played out in it. The novelty of playing out in the cold died once he reached ten, as having no friends who wanted to come over and parents who didn’t give a shit, made having snowball fights impossible. He remembered enjoying building snowmen, though. He used to build small families made of snow with little rocks and pebbles for features. He wasn’t allowed the typical carrot nose for them because his mother used to insist on how wasteful it was for his little fanaticise. Still, Frank managed to make-do. Thinking back about it, he cringed to himself. Back then, it didn’t seem like he was painfully lonely as he was.

Still reminiscing, he stood looked around for Ray or Gerard. He knew there was a snowball fight happening, so standing around probably wasn’t the best idea he could do. Through the snow, he carefully walked away from the block of doors. He tread carefully, making sure he didn’t slip or fall into a snow-covered hole.

He heard a yelp of surprise and then a laugh coming from the direction of the building. Frank bent down and armed himself with a snowball. The second he touched the snow, he regretted not bringing any gloves with him. Ignoring the freezing sensation taking over his hands, he forced a single snowball. He was out of practise, and it wasn’t the world’s best one, but it would do.

Frank’s first tactic was stealth. He planned to sneak up to Ray and hit him with the snowball before he knew what was going on. It was a good plan, in theory, but it was impossible to sneak up on anyone when the distinctive sound of snow crunching instantly gave you away. That one was probably easier in the summer. Maybe he could convince them both to have a water fight pistol fight then...

His second plan was speed. He went into a half-jog, half-walk and followed the direction of Ray’s voice. It didn’t take him long to see the mass of his friend’s hair in the distance. He picked up his pace, and made his way behind Ray so he wouldn’t be spotted as easily.

He’d managed to get within throwing distance of Ray without him turning around and seeing Frank, somehow. He shaped the snow better, trying to make it smoother and easier to throw, before he aimed it at Ray’s back. When it hit Ray, he let out a small ‘oomph’ in shock and turned around to see Frank trying to hide a laugh. He cocked an eyebrow, making Frank splutter a few times.

Ray called out to Frank and beckoned him over. Frank, who was slightly weary of him, walked over and stood beside him. “You and me against Gee,” he whispered into Frank’s ear and looked towards Gerard, still standing near the doorway. Frank nodded and gave Ray and fake evil grin.

“You’ve got a good aim. I’ll make them, you throw,” he told Frank, walking backwards to the fresher snow. Again, Frank nodded. He looked at his boyfriend and gave him a friendly wave, loving how he didn’t know the plan they’d just put together.

“Wear these,” Ray said, handing Frank and pair of black gloves. He didn’t realise how cold and wet his hands had become until he felt warm, dry gloves being thrust into his hand. He dried off most of the water from his hands by wiping them on his trousers, and put the gloves on. The weird tingling feeling spread through his fingers. He wiggled them a bit, getting the circulation going, before Ray passed him a snowball.

Gerard was blissfully unaware of what was about to happen. Although Frank felt didn’t feel over the moon about pelting his loving boyfriend with balls of snow, he couldn’t stop the excitement bubbling in his stomach.

They waited for Gerard’s attention to be diverted from them before Ray poked Frank’s side, indicating that he should throw then.

He made sure he didn’t put any force behind it, not wanting to hurt or anger Gerard in any way. The snowball flew through the air, colliding with Gerard’s leg, just under his knee.

He looked up with a confused expression, not believing that Ray would’ve been able to throw so far. The snow wasn’t falling as heavily now, making it easier to see the two other people buckle over with laugher, both holding their sides.

“Two against one? Really?” Gerard shouted across the space between them. He wasn’t met by a verbal reply, just more hysterical laughter. “Fine,” he muttered to no one in particular, and pressed some snow in the palm of his hand. Much like Frank, he too had forgotten to bring gloves or anything to stop the ice freezing to his hands. He swore to himself and threw the snow in the general direction of his boyfriend and Ray. He managed to hit Ray on his stomach, making him gasp as the cold water seeped through his clothes.

“Shit,” he cussed loudly, forgetting that they were in school. He didn’t care for the consequences, knowing that no one would’ve heard them. He picked up two snowballs and Frank copied. All three stood looking at one another for a few seconds.

Frank laughed to himself and the two other boys look at him, confused. “This l-looks like a c-cowboy movie,” he explained through chattering teeth. Gerard looked at them all, and had to agree with Frank’s observation. He shook his head and chuckled.

The ceasefire didn’t last long. It seemed to happen without warning, one second they were standing without any snow being thrown, and the next, the sky was full of it being flung from one person to another. It was a blur of white. No one knew who threw what, or who hit who, but it seemed relentless.

Frank turned to face Ray when he was looking in Gerard’s direction, trying to dodge the ones coming his way. He took the opportunity to pick up a pile of snow and dump it over his head. Ray stilled, unsure what to make of the moment. His hair held onto the snow, making patches of it blend in with the ground.

He brushed the snow out of his hair and looked at Frank would a faux-angry glare. “Backstabber,” he shouted, overdramatically. He scooped up an equal amount of snow, and threw it at Frank. It was a lot easier for Ray to do it, as he was taller and gave him an advantage.

Gerard noticed the lack of snow heading his way and walked the couple of meters towards the others. Before he could ask what was going on, he saw that Ray’s and Frank’s lips were turning a blue/purple colour, so he guessed that his weren’t far off either, and his jaw was beginning to ache again.

“We should go in,” he told them, earning an annoyed groan in response. “Come on, you’ll get sick if you don’t, and haven’t you seen both of your lips? They’re going blue.”

“You sound like my mom, Gerard,” Ray laughed. Gerard rolled his eyes, but started to brush the snowflakes of Frank’s coat. Maybe he had a point.

“C-can’t we stay out a l-little longer?” Frank begged and Ray made some agreeing sounds, only adding to how much Gerard seemed like a parent at that moment in time.

“No – no you can’t. Besides, people will be coming out of school soon, and it’ll be hell getting down that goddamn path again.”

“But what if-“

“No,” Gerard spoke over Ray. “You know how bad that path is, especially when loads of people start to make the snow into something even more slippery.”

“Sorry, mom,” Ray huffed, sarcasm dripping from his voice. Gerard ignored him and took Frank’s glove-clad hand in his own. Frank followed without complaint, laughing at the comments Ray was making under his breath as they slowly walked towards the building.

***

Their dorm room had never felt so warm and welcoming before. All three of them piled into the room, taking off their wet coats, gloves, shoes and socks, and putting them near the door. Next, they arranged themselves on the floor so they were all squashed up to one another, keeping each other warm through body heat. Gerard reached behind him and pulled all the blankets off the bed. He spread them over everyone and made a content sound.

“That was fun,” Ray spoke up, breaking the silence.

“Yeah,” Frank agreed, cuddling up to Gerard’s side. Instinctively, he pulled Frank closer, taking some of his body heat in the process. He placed small kisses on the top of his head, causing Frank to make some appreciative sounds.

“I hope we don’t have to go back to school tomorrow,” Ray said hopefully and tried to look out of the window.

The snow had started to fall again, but not as heavy as before. The clouds were still dark and grey, making it seem later than it was. The trees were still covered in a thick layer of snow, the branches being weighed down by it. The only think that broke the serene atmosphere of the sound of snow hitting the window, was the distant laughter of the other students getting out of their classes and the noise of multiple pairs of feet hitting the snow covered ground.

“It’ll probably be like World War Three, judging by the shouting,” Gerard observed. He was right. If they listened closely, they could hear the shocked shouts, screams and laughs of people being pelted with snow. Ray laughed and shook his head.

"If only it was Christmas, because then we could sing _White Christmas_ without it giving us bad luck,” Ray sighed.

“You believe in all of that?” Gerard asked and looked over at Ray. He turned slightly red at the cheeks and nodded. “It’s superstitious bullshit. It doesn’t have any impact on anything. And we can sing what we want, when we want,” he said, smiling so he didn’t sound like he was being overly serious about it. “In fact, I’m going to sing it now.”

“Don’t-“ Ray managed to say before Gerard burst into song, encouraging Frank to sing along with him. Together, they half sung and half laughed, trying to keep in tune with the Christmas carol as Ray tried his best to cover his ears and not crack a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much happens here, but I wanted a whole chapter for this because the other one was getting too long. Next chapter will (hopefully) be more interesting and longer.
> 
> I'm going to be on my summer holidays soon, so more time to write without school getting in the way, which'll be good!  
> xo


	34. Chapter 34

The hype from the recent snowfall quickly died down once the sun went down and the wind picked up, leaving everyone cold and wet. The flakes hit the window, some sticking and others forming little streams down the glass. It didn’t take long for the entire windowpane to be covered in a thin layer of snow, making the dorm room seem even smaller. The Sisters in the school had told everyone to stay put, and wait out the blizzard, promising that there would be lessons as normal the following day. As expected, the students were all hoping for a day or so off, so the Sisters were met with disgruntled teenagers.

Blizzards felt a lot more intimidating in the dark.

The snow, combined with the storm outside, had made all the telephone lines cut out, detaching everyone on the school’s campus and grounds to their family and friends who could try to contact them.

They had found all the blankets they could, knowing that it would only get colder as the night went on. The bottom bunk was a sea of thick covers with pillows pushed against the back where the bed met the wall. It most likely wasn’t practical, but it would be warm – the only thing that mattered at the time.

Gerard flopped against the mass of blankets and pillows and sighed. He didn’t like not knowing what was going on at home. It was probably wasn’t healthy for him having to be up-to-date with everything, but he had to know. He _needed_ to know. Uncertainly washed over him. What if he mom was trying to call him? What if something had changed within the last few days? All these questions bounced around him head without an answer to help him forget them, and move on.

He tried to not let the worry show on his face or let his voice show it. He wanted to keep a calm and controlled act up, not wanting Frank to start to become anxious about it all. Besides, if his parents miraculously didn’t get the prison sentence they deserved, and Frank went back to them, it would impact him more than anyone else. Although this scenario was seriously unlikely, it didn’t stop Gerard from becoming slightly distressed at the thought.

Calm, cool, collected.

He lifted the covers and slid under them, bunching the fabric around his neck to try and keep some of the heat in. While he waited for Frank to get out of the bathroom, he listened to the low hum of the shower and the sound of water hitting the shower floor. In the mix of the splashes, he heard another noise. It took him a second to work out exactly what the foreign noise was, but when he did, a smile spread across his face, quickly removing the doubt in his mind.

Soon after, the shower turned off, plunging the room into silence again, only broken by the rustle of clothes and the howling wind.

Frank emerged from the bathroom, towel drying his hair and wearing a pair of grey pyjamas bottoms and a sweater, which Gerard swore was his once.

“What were you humming in the shower?” Gerard asked, propping himself up on his elbows to get a better view of Frank.

He tried to look confused and display every kind of body language which suggested that he had no idea what Gerard was going on about. He shrugged his shoulder and shook his head in an attempt to avoid the question without avoiding his boyfriend.

“You know what I’m on about,” Gerard chuckled. “The song you were humming, I heard you. What was it?”

“N-nothing.” Frank waved his hand in an attempt to get Gerard to drop it, not willing to go into great depth about it. “S-some song off th-the radio,” he replied, although he didn’t sound too sure of himself.

“Okay, sure.” Frank rolled his eyes and smiled at Gerard, who was still looking at him from the pile of sheets. He took the remaining steps towards the bed and sat on the edge, and poked where Gerard’s leg would be under the covers. Gerard made a sound of surprise but quickly moved up, making room for Frank to lie next to him. Frank made himself comfortable, wrapping his legs around the older boy’s and resting his head on his chest.

“We h-have to go to s-school tomorrow, d-don’t we?” Frank asked, looking up at Gerard through his damp hair, which had fallen over his eyes.

“’Fraid so,” he replied, laughing at the string of grumbled from Frank. “Maybe they’ll let us leave a few hours early. You know, out of the kindness of their heart,” he added sarcastically.

“Ugh,” Frank sighed, knowing that complaining wouldn’t do anything to change the fact that they had to go, no matter what.

“It won’t be _that_ bad.” Before Frank could whine again, Gerard found the most ticklish part on Frank’s body (just under his ribcage) and tickled him, making him laugh hysterically and tears run down his face.

“I’m – I’m sorry,” he managed to say between gasping breaths. He continued to thrash around, trying to get Gerard’s hands from him. “Stop – st-stop, _please_ ,” he begged, half-heartedly.

“Will you stop whining and go to sleep then?” Gerard asked moments before he yawned and stretched.

“Yes,” Frank agreed, breathless from being tickled. His eyes were still wet from the tears and his cheeks were tinted red enough that Gerard could see the colour clearly in the dim lighting.

Gerard smiled fondly at him, loving how pure happiness could run through his veins, helping him to try and forget some of the horrific experiences from his childhood.

“Good,” he whispered, leaning down to kiss Frank’s lips gently. He smiled into the kiss and cuddled closer to Gerard with a content sigh.

***

There was only an hour left of school when Gerard was called out of his class. He didn’t complain. He always hated Health class, so he was more than glad to be asked to leave. He packed his books away, throwing his pen into his backpack and following the receptionist.

“What’s it about?” he asked, putting the other strap of his bag over his shoulder.

“It’ll be explained when we get to the office,” she replied curtly, not adding any reason behind it. Gerard nodded in silence, and continued to follow her until they reached the reception area.

“This way,” she said, pointing towards the door which was ajar. He walked towards it, pushing it open and peered in. There was one person sitting at the desk, a phone in her hand. The receptionist was fairly old, but tried to hide it with badly dyed hair. She wasn’t fooling anyone.

“Gerard Way?” she asked, turning to face him. He nodded, still unsure what was going on. Was someone hurt? Or even worse, dead? He shook his head, that wasn’t going to happen.

The woman smiled at him, a toothy smile, and said, “There’s a call for you. I think it’s your mother.” She reached over and handed him the phone.

“Hello?” Gerard said, wearily.

“Hi, honey,” he mom said down the phone. “I have news. Mr. Roberts just called...”

“And...” Gerard urged, feeling his heart rate pick up, having a feeling where this was heading. He tapped his nails on the wooden desk surface. “And?” he pressed, trying to keep his voice steady.

“His parents are gone, indefinitely. That’s good.” Gerard could tell she was smiling, he could hear it in her voice. He could also tell that she was dragging it out, knowing that she was the bearer of good news. “So, how’s school going?”

“ _Mom_ , there’s something else, isn’t there?”

“Okay, don’t tell me about school then,” she laughed. “Well, I need to go now. Mikey and I are going to buy things for the newest member of our family. Would Frank prefer blue or green blankets?”

Even though Gerard had a hunch when someone called for him – no one called him during school hours – he didn’t want to get his hopes up. When he heard his mom confirming his suspicions, he became speechless.

“What?” he asked, his voice horse with shock.

“What’s his favourite colour?” she asked again. Gerard could hear her trying to hold in a laugh. This was exciting to her as it was to him.

“Uh, green – definitely green. Wait, so he’s...?”

“Yes he is. Our lawyer phoned, it’s all sorted out. He filled out the last official documents. It’s all done. All of it.” The longer his mom talked, the bigger his smile became. The receptionist looked at him via the corner of her eye, but not coming up to him.

“So he’s – he is actually?” Gerard stammered.

Donna laughed. “He is. Now, I wasn’t joking about getting things for Frank. I need to get to stores before they fill up.”

Gerard nodded, which was utterly pointless since he was on the phone. “Uh, yeah. Should I tell him? What should I say?”

“Do whatever, Gerard,” his mother said before putting the phone down.

He stood looking dumbly at the phone, unsure what to do or say. He tried to steady his breathing and control the grin on his face. But he couldn’t and he didn’t want to.

“Are you okay?” the receptionist asked, not sure what was going on as Donna mustn’t have given any hint beforehand.

“Yeah, I’m good... great, actually,” Gerard replied, still smiling like a maniac. The woman nodded and gestured towards the door. It was probably time for him to leave.

***

The giddy feeling hadn’t worn off when it was the end of the day. Gerard felt like he was on cloud nine. Nothing could ruin his mood. Nothing.

He made his way to their room, still smiling to himself. He probably looked insane. No one ever looked _this_ happy in school, but he didn’t care. He still hadn’t figured how when, or how, he was going to break the news to Frank. He had some possible ideas, but none of them seemed big enough. It needed to be a celebration, something no one would forget easily.

But on the other hand, he wanted something small. Something more...intimate. He knew Frank wasn’t great is large crowds or with people he didn’t know, so a party wasn’t an option. It didn’t matter.

He walked around the room for a few minutes and tried to work out what he could do. Frank wouldn’t be back from his classes for another half an hour as Gerard hadn’t bothered going back to his class. There wasn’t any point; he wouldn’t have been able to concentrate anyway. Not with news like that.

He reached for his bag, which he’d thrown to the floor the second he was in the room. Gerard went through his contacts list until he found who he was looking for and pressed the ‘call’ button.

***

Frank stumbled through the door, tried and cold after walking through the snow.

“W-where were you?” he asked, annoyed. “I w-waited for you. Y-you didn’t turn u-up.”

Gerard looked at Frank. He was soaked; water was dripping from the strands of hair in front of his face, and shivering.

“I’m sorry, baby,” Gerard cooed. He walked up to Frank and brought him into a tight hug, not caring that he was soaking wet. “I’m sorry, I should’ve said, or texted.”

Frank fidgeted, but Gerard didn’t let go of him. He wanted to tell him badly, but had other plans.

“I would’ve waited, but I was let out of class early. I had to phone someone.” Frank cocked an eyebrow. “I asked my mom and she said it was fine that we could go home over the weekend. The school can’t say no, either, not when a parent requests us to come back.”

Frank’s eyes widened in panic. “W-what’s wrong? Is s-someone hurt? Is i-it because of Darren?” he said too quickly, brining his hand up to Gerard’s face, gently tracing the bruise. Gerard reached for Frank’s hand and laced their fingers together, ignoring his freezing fingertips.

“No – no, everyone’s fine. More than fine. We just need to go back for a bit. It’s only for the weekend. We can do our work there.”

His boyfriend nodded slowly, not entirely sure what was happening, but didn’t want to question it. He knew that he wouldn’t get a satisfactory answer. Gerard was too secretive for that.

“So, w-we’re going t-this weekend?” Frank asked and Gerard nodded, still smiling. He copied and nodded, too.

“This weekend,” Gerard whispered. He pulled Frank closer, finally connecting their lips. Frank unlinked their hands and wrapped his arms around Gerard’s waist, making sure he couldn’t move away. They kissed awkwardly; standing up had more cons than pros. Whenever either of them wanted to pull away, the other held them tighter.

“W-what was t-that for?” Frank asked breathlessly and took a step back.

Gerard licked his lips, feeling how swollen they were. He looked at Frank’s lips, and guessed his looked pretty much similar.

“Just happy,” he beamed.

***

The weekend finally came, and Gerard was up at the crack of dawn, unable to sleep any more than needed. Frank was still flat out, quietly snoring. Gerard watched him for a few minutes. He watched Frank’s chest rise and then fall steadily and the relaxed expression on his face.

He smiled softly. Soon enough, Frank would know the good news. It would finally be official, and not him just sleeping over. He’d be part of the family, with the documents and all.

Gerard shuffled out of bed. He found a spare blanket and wrapped it around himself. They’d thrown things into bags the previous night, making it easier for them to leave once Donna was at the gates. Gerard had arranged a time; saying around 9AM would be fine. It gave them time to get ready, but also gave them enough time to unpack slightly once they reached their destination.

He padded towards the desk and sat down. His sketchbook and pencils weren’t packed; he didn’t bother taking them home with him as he had better quality ones at home, not to mention the drawing table, too.

He didn’t have any inspiration to draw. The room was bland, the scenery outside was blanketed in snow and the inky black of night. He put pencil to paper, letting his mind wonder off, drawing whatever came to him at the time. It wasn’t going to be a work of art or a masterpiece, but it would pass the hours.

Gerard scribbled down some potential characters for a comic book he promised Mikey months ago, and annotated them with their character traits. It was something to keep his mind occupied, and stopped him from pacing around with excitement.

It probably wasn’t the best idea to work in the dark, but he didn’t want to disturb Frank, knowing that the day would be tiring for him. However, it didn’t take him long to have a basic plot set and a handful of characters sketched out. He could add more details into it later on.

The sun was steadily rising over the trees, making the birds burst into song instantly. The incessant chirping sound broke through the silence of the night, announcing that morning had finally come.

Gerard turned around in his chair and looked over at Frank, who was still asleep. The sunlight coming through the window beamed straight onto his face, making his skin look like it was glowing golden. It wouldn’t take him too long to start to wake up, knowing that even the smallest amount of light was enough to rouse him.

He peered down at the work he managed to do. It wasn’t the best, but it was good enough since he’d managed to do it in the dark with sleep blurred vision. Mikey wouldn’t care, anyway. He’d be happy that the comic was even in existence.

A small groaning noise caught Gerard’s attention next. Looking back at Frank again, he saw him rub his eyes and blink. He scanned the room for a second, probably looking for his boyfriend, and broke into a sleepy smile when he saw him.

“Good morning,” Gerard called from the opposite side of the room, giving Frank a small wave. Frank mumbled something in reply, which Gerard guessed was a variation of his greeting.

“What t-time is it?” Frank asked groggily.

“About seven in the morning,” Gerard shrugged. “We only have a few hours until my mom gets here, so we should get ready. Do you think Ray’s up yet? I want to say bye before we leave.”

“We’re only go-going for the w-weekend,” Frank noted, not seeing why they had to say goodbye to someone who’d they would see again on the following Monday.

Gerard waved his hand and stood up, wrapping the blanket around him tighter. “I know, but I’m still going to see him. At least be up when I get back?”

“R-right, mom,” Frank laughed, ignoring Gerard when he flipped him off.

***

Manners weren’t something he considering when he barged into Ray’s room without knocking, but he was glad that he did. When he entered the room, Ray was flicking through his collection of albums and didn’t notice the other person now stood in his room.

“Hey,” Gerard said, hoping to finally get his friend’s attention.

Ray jumped and swore loudly and he hit his head on the bottom of the bunk bed above. He rubbed the part of his head which he hit and turned to face Gerard, who was standing at the door.

“What, asshole?” Ray asked, trying his best not to sound annoyed.

“Frank and I are going home in about an hour. Just for the weekend, though.” Ray rolled his eyes, obviously not thinking it was a good enough reason for anyone to run into his room at such an early time and nearly give himself concussion because of it.

“Wonderful,” he replied bluntly. “Why are you telling me this? You don’t seem sad, so it’s nothing bad. Why should I care?”

“ _Frank_ and I are going _home_ ,” he repeated, emphasising some words to try and make Ray think a little. He knew it was early, but his hints were pretty obvious to get.

Ray sighed. “I heard you the first time. I know.”

Amazed by his friend’s lack of thought, Gerard gave in with a huff. “Frank’s moving in with us. Permanently.” Ray’s eyes widened, finally understanding what he meant. Gerard grinned.

“What? Like he’s going to be your foster brother, or something?” Gerard nodded. “Have you told him yet? He needs to know – you can’t keep this from him.”

“I’m telling him today, that’s why we’re going,” Gerard said. Ray looked at him disbelievingly. “I mean, he was already staying with us, but now its official. It feels better.”

Ray understood and nodded enthusiastically, smiling much like Gerard was. “This is great, man. Congratulations!”

Unable to say much, Gerard kept on grinning and stood up. “I should go. I need to make sure he’s actually up. I’ll see you Monday, yeah?”

“You sound like his mother,” Ray laughed as Gerard turned to walk into the hallway. He waved to his friend as he made his way towards his respective room, and continued to sift through his albums, but this time with a broad smile on his face.

Things were finally getting better.

***

As promised, Frank was up and packing the other things away in their travel bags when Gerard walked into the room. He must’ve spent longer in Ray’s room than he first anticipated because it was getting closer and closer to the time they needed to be at the school’s gates for.

Gerard rushed to the bathroom, grabbing random items of clothing, which he’d left on the side, and quickly got dressed. He didn’t care what he wore, nothing it would be the least of his matters once he was in the car.

Once they were both packed and changed, they took their bags under their arms and opened the door. It was still cold outside and the snow was still thick, making it difficult for them to walk without sliding a bit. They managed to walk up the path without too many falls, and only stopped when one of them fell over or slipped.

Luckily, Donna was already waiting for them in the car. She’d turned up the heating, making the car uncomfortably warm compared to the outside temperature, but neither Frank nor Gerard was going to complain.

They threw their bags in the back of the car and greeted Donna politely. “Ready to go?” she asked, and laughed when the two boy nodded keenly.

The sound of fresh snow crunching under the wheels of the car gave them a nice soundtrack to listen to as they drove down the narrow road to the highway. None of them started a conversation, seeming that the small talk would only make things uncomfortable. Once they were on a main road and the snow had melted, Donna leaned over and turned on the radio, filling the car with the voice of someone singing about a forbidden love, or something similar to that.

***

Frank had fallen asleep within forty minutes of the journey, and was resting his head against Gerard’s shoulder. It didn’t seem comfortable, but he didn’t seem too fussed by the awkward position.

Donna looked in the rear-view mirror to check that Frank was fast asleep. “Have you told him?” she asked Gerard. He shook his head a little, but not enough to potentially wake Frank. “So, when are you?” she pressed, not sounding annoyed but a little confused. She thought he’d be shouting it from the rooftops.

“Soon,” he replied certainly. “When we get home, I’ll tell him. Don’t worry.”

Donna hummed, meaning she had understood and focused back on the road ahead of them. They weren’t too far away as Gerard had begun to recognise stores and other areas now.

He felt his heart rate pick up in anticipation as they turned the corner to his – and now also Frank’s – house. He moved his shoulder, trying to wake his boyfriend up gently without giving him a shock. Frank mumbled something sleepily and opened his eyes. He squinted in the late morning sun and looked around him. He quickly got his bearings and sat up properly.

“We’re here,” Gerard said, although it was stating the obvious, as Donna parked the car. When the car was brought to a standstill, his mother got out and started taking their bags to the house.

They were heavier than she first anticipated and lifted an eyebrow at her son. “Is this all washing?” she asked. Gerard nodded meekly and his mom laughed at him. “I’ll get started on this then.” She walked up towards the door, bags in hand, and fumbled with the key until the door swung open.

Frank was still unaware of the news everyone else knew but him. He didn’t know the conclusion of the never-ending court case, and it made Gerard smile knowing that his life would be changed in a matter of minutes.

Gerard let out a shaky breath and cleared his throat. “So, you know all the things that’ve been going on for the last six months or so?” he began. Frank looked up at his and nodded, a confused and worried expression on his face. “Well, um...”

“What? Didn’t i-it work? D-do I have to g-go back?” Frank asked, becoming more and more panicked with every word.

“What? No – no you don’t have to go back,” Gerard rushed. He took a deep breath. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you. You don’t have to go back to them... ever.”

Frank’s eyes lit up and tears started to form in them. Gerard was glad he didn’t have to explain it, knowing it would ruin the moment. “So – so, it h-happened? It worked?”

He didn’t wait for Gerard to reply, as his smile was enough to confirm it non-verbally. He lunged forwards, tackling him into a hug. They feel against the car seats with an ‘oomph’, and laughed excitedly. The tears that were welling up in his eyes, spilled over, forming little streaks of water down his cheeks. For once, they were tears of joy.

Happiness overtook him, and he didn’t care that they were in a car where everyone could see. He moved up a bit until they were eye-to-eye, and leaned in nearer until their lips touched. They kept in mind that anyone would walk by, and kept the kiss innocent. Frank closed his eyes and pushed his lips closer, and pulled on his lower lip. In response, Gerard’s eyes fluttered shut and let out a quiet moan.

“We need to-“ Gerard started, but was cut off by a quick succession of knocks on the window. He moved his head to the side and looked around Frank. He saw Mikey outside, a hand covering his eyes.

“Mom said you need to hurry up. She wants to get lunch ready,” Mikey shouted through the glass, his eyes still covered.

Frank blushed but laughed, trying not to let the embarrassment show.

“Unbelievable. It always happens. He must have a sixth sense,” Gerard commented, shaking his head in disbelief. “We should go, though. It’s getting cold, and I’m hungry.”

Frank agreed and got off his boyfriend. He straightened his shirt and patted down his hair in an attempt to look more presentable to his new foster-family. Once he was satisfied, he opened the backdoor and got out. Gerard quickly followed, closing the door behind them both and went to stand next to him.

He reached towards Frank’s hand and intertwined their fingers together. Frank whined at the unnecessary waiting, feeling the chilly air take the body heat he’d managed to build up.

“Wait, Frank,” Gerard said and his boyfriend started to pull at his hand, indicating that he wanted to go inside and into the warmth.

“What?” he whinged and turned to face Gerard.

“Welcome home,” A feeling of immense happiness spread through him the second the words left his mouth. He squeezed Frank’s hand and beamed at him. Frank, whose eyes were still shining from the tears, smiled back and started to walk towards the house.

Their house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I guess this is the end of it. I do have a sequel in mind, but I'm not entirely sure when I'll start writing it. Maybe in the next two weeks? Who knows.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this, and I know the ending was extremely predictable, but I didn't have the heart to turn it into something bad.  
> xo
> 
> *
> 
> Update [10/01/2016]: I've considered deleting this entire fic and starting again from scratch... However, people (somehow) seemed to enjoy it, and if you managed to reach this point, you're a stronger person than I. However, I may add some parts to some chapter to make them longer because the length of some is ridiculously short for me now.
> 
> I think Former Love is a little better because my writing have developed through the year. So, if you're still interested in the plot, it's moved onto the sequel, but a decade into the future! 
> 
> Thank you for reading my shitty fics and I can only apologise (again) for the shortness of the chapters in ES; I had no idea that they were that length.


End file.
